So, I had dinner with the guy from Brazil, Cor. He's a nice guy. He seams to be quite taken with me. From my point of view, he's a nice, attractive man. But it's not love at first sight. I'll get to know him better and see where it goes.

Cor wants to get together tomorrow night as well. I said yes.

I played hockey at 10:45pm tonight. Bleah. I hate late games.

We won 7-4. It was one of the worst games we have ever played. The other team was much, much weaker than us. We kept getting penaties. We spent most of the 2nd period with not one, but two people in the penalty box. Our hot-heads couldn't control their tempers and the refs called a very tight game.

I taled to Ryan tonight. He's going to Florida this weekend to be the best man at his brother wedding. He's not looking forward to it. He said "Someone enthic will be in the wedding party and I'm sure my grandfather will loudy say 'Oh, that's going to be in all the pictures!'" His family sounds very redneck

I went to our companies Research Exhibition. Once a year, the Research division showcases their latest technologies. Some of the technologies were kind of fun such as better ways to make realistic images for video games.

Some were creepy. There was one technology that made your eyes always look at the screen. When you video conference with someone, you look at the screen and not the camera. So, the person on the receiving end sees you looking off to the side and not at him. This program automatically edits the image to make it look like your eyes are focused on the receiver. The result was weird, like one of those paintings with eyes that always look at you.

I'm kind of annoyed and jealous that there are people at our company working on weird problems like that. I should have got a PHD. Instead I decided to stick with my lowly Bachelor of Mathematics.

Yes John, that's why I'm so analytical-- I'm a mathematician.

Speaking of people who regularly read my journal, who are you? Over the past month, I've noticed that my weekly hit count has doubled. I don't advertise this site to many people. I never intended to become popular. I just wanted to keep a journal and the self destructive/exhibitionist side of me said "Hey! Put it on the Web." So, if you read regularly, drop me a line and introduce yourself.

Woohooo! Canada won Olymic gold in hockey. 5-2 over the U.S.A.

C3 and I went snowboarding today. Bruce didn't go. He's been having migrains lately and is behind on work. We had a fun time. I'm tired and stiff.

Yesterday I went sofa shopping. I have to think twice; the sofa I want costs $2400.00. Afterwards I went to Bruce and C3's for dinner. We watched a weird documentry, The God's of Time Square. It's about all the religious people that hang out in New York's Times Square. Many freaks. One guy believed that he was Jesus and was destined to get together with Madonna (The pop singer) to bring about a new era. After Madona performed in NY he was be bitter and confused that she didn't call.

Friday I met a nice guy. He's a Brazilian/Canadian who just moved hear from Florida. He used to work for Nortel but was layed off. The company I work for hired him. He started last week. We met at the Cuff; we were introduced by two mutual friends. We talked a while, left and had coffee and dessert at the Broadway. We kissed a bit, exchanged numbers and headed home (He to his home, I to mine) He's up in Vancouver today, and has a business trip on Monday/Tuesday. So, we'll see if he calls.

C3 warned me that Brazilians are very fun, but they play around a lot.

It's just nice to meet a normal guy that's interested in me.

We won our hocky game last night-- 3 to 2. It was another chippy game. One fight. I played much more rough that usual. The refs were very lienient. If you looked like you were going for the puck, even if you were muscling guys out of the way, they let you get away with it.

When I checked my telephone messages from work, there was only one. A short "hmm!" It's sounds a lot like my Brian, my ex. I've replayed the message half a dozen times trying to figure out if it is.

I haven't heard from Brian in months.

I can't *69 it because I called from work to pick up the messages.

It's weird how something as simple as this can make me reminise. For all I know the message is from a telemarketer who sounds kind of like Brian.

Tonight I went with the movie bears to see A Beautiful Mind. It was a good movie. It was one of those movies that reminds me how out of touch I can be with my feelings. I wasn't really that engrossed by the movie, but at the end I felt a few tears come to my eyes. It's kind of weird like "Huh? What's this? Crap, I'm going to cry."

Afterwards, B, C3 and I had dinner at the Six Arms.B complained that C3 was denying him sex. Then C3 said, "What are you talking about, we had sex this morning?" Then B said. "Oh yeah, sorry."

Afterwards I had a beer at the Cuff. I talked to the usual crowd. I guess I am part of the usual crowd.

I've been goofing off a lot. Monday night I hit the internet chat's after work and didn't stop till bedtime. I know it's a big waist of time. There are many more constructive things to do.

I had lunch with Bruce yesterday. I vented with him for the first time in months. Right now my job is kind of boring and my social life is stagnent; I'm in a rut. I need an adventure. I do a few fun things that fill up my time. But that's all they are; fun things to fill up my time. I need something with more meat to it; a long term goal.

Took it easy Sunday. Had lunch with C3 and Bruce. I ran some errands and took a walk. Later on I went to the Cuff. It was very busy. Lot's of out-of-towners in for the long weekend.

Friday night, for the first time in months, I stayed home and slept. I was going to go to the Cuff, but as a pulled out of the drive way I noticed that I was really tired and probably wouldn't enjoy myself. I turned around and went to bed.

Saturday morning I had breakfast with C2. We told Karyn, the worlds best waitress, about Wednesday night. And asked here what she would have done if she found a homless person in her car. She gasped and thought about it for a minute. She said she really didn't know, but probably would have called 911.

Saturday it was Sunny. I went rollar blading. My rollar blades or old and need new wheels. I also slept out in the sun for a while.

In the evening I had an internet date. He was an ok guy but I'm not that attracted to him. There was something weird about him.

Later on I went to the Union Garage Theater. A comedy troup was performing there and C3 was part of one of the sketches. Bruce wasn't there. He's had a migrain.

There were about a dozen performers. There were only six people in the audience.

Most of the comedy was kind of lame.

I was supposed to film C3 and his sketch, but when he went on I couldn't get the video camera to work.

For the closing number, because the cast outnumber the audience, they called us all on stage and we did the can-can with them.

Afterwards C3 and I went to the Cuff for a beer. Rozalla was performing. I don't know why, but when ever a dance pop diva appears at the Cuff, dozens of drag queens come out. It really changes the crowd.

I had an eventful, fun night last night. Chris2 called me up and asked me if I wanted to go to Dan Savage's Valentines Bash. He said it should be fun.

We met before hand at Bauhau's coffee. While I was at Bauhau's, a bum walked by the door. Two people in Bauhau's noticed the bum, and made a b-line for the door, started shouting at the bum, telling him to go away. After a few minutes the bum left.

Now, C2 drives a very old car whose doors don't lock. When we left Bauhau's and walked towards C2's car, he noticed someone was in his car! We opened the doors and the bum popped out. C2 started screaming at the bum.

"Why are you in my Car!"
"I thought it was my Car."
"Bull Shit, you were trying to steal my stuff."
...

The shouting match went on for a few minutes. In the end we let him go. The bum didn't steel anything. C2 said there was nothing valuable in the car. The bum had opened up the glove compartment and removed the ashtray. Papers were all over the place.

We talked about it for a few minutes. C2 asked me what I would do if I found the guy in my truck I shrugged and said I probably would have done the same. He asked me if he should have punched the guy. I said probably not. He agreed-- that would just make an unpleasant situation worse. C2 said he was going to fill out a police report just to keep them informed.

We arrived at Dan Savage's Valentines Day Bash at about 7:30. To be admitted, you had to fill at a personal ad in the Stranger

The show started at about 8pm. It went like this... people got up on stage and with a memento left from a past relationship-- a love letter, a photo, divorce papers. The person would then tell the story of their breakup. Then, they would destroy the memento. After the memento was destroyed, the person got to grope the Dan Savage's "Muscle Boy" assistant. The whole time Dan Savage is making jokes and sarcastic remarks.

How were the mementos destroyed? They were shredded, burnt, bashed with hammers and baseball bats.

One man put a picture of his ex on the wall. The front row of the audience then threw tomatoes and chicken feet at it.

They blended some old love letters and valentines together with liver and ice cream. The mixture was feed to two huge dogs.

One guy smashed a music box with so much vigor that pieces of the music box were imbedded into the baseball bat.

One of the love letters had an ex's phone # on it. Dan Savage called the number up, got an answering machine, and then had the audience to shout "You're a shit!" as the message.

It was hilarious. There were many bitter people there.

Afterwards C2 and I went to the cuff for a drink. I met a nice guy there. He’s a chef. We talked a bit and I have him my number. I walked up to C.C’s to get omething to eat. He walked in a few minutes later. We chatted some more and he said that when I told him I was going to get something to eat, he figured I was going to C.C.’s since no other restaurants were open. He offered to drive me back to my truck and I accepted. We kissed a bit in his car. But, it was very late, so thanked him and said good night.

I hope he calls.

My law suit has been settled. I'm not sure of the details.

On Friday I received a letter from a lawyer saying the insurance company asked him to represent me and that I should call to set up an appointment. When I called and talked to a para-legal, she said the appointment was no longer necessary. The case had been settled. She didn't know terms-- I would receive a letter in the next few days describing the terms.

There are some irregularities in our hockey league that are bugging our team. We’ve played the same team 6 times out of 12 games. With 10 teams in our league, that’s weird. That team (The one we played last night) has two players that are much stronger than our level.

Also, we’ve played 3 teams that are in the level above us, and only 1 team in the level below us.

This may be just the losers justifying why they lost. But still, it’s annoying.

We played hockey tonight. We lost again. 5-1. My plus/minus was -1. This is frustrating. I can't play all the time.

It was a scappy game. A fight broke out on the ice. A fight broke out in the stands.

My sex drive has returned, with a vengance. It's hard to keep in in check.

Bruce is back at work. I had lunch with him today. It didn't really want to talk about it.

Chris3 and I went snowboarding today. Bruce couldn't make it. We had a great time.

At home tonight, I heard from Andy. Andy is a great friend. He used to be my best friend except he decided that he couldn't stand the Seattle rain, so he moved to Los Angeles. He was taungting me about how it was 80F and sunny in L.A. about how I would get a good boyfriend within a month in L.A. and about how the job situation was better in L.A.

He really wants me to move down there.

Andy and I were never lovers. We would never be lovers. We were just good friends. Maybe I could move to L.A. But, if I'm going to move away, I should consider other places as well. What about Louisiana or Texas?

Friday evening, I had dinner with Chris2. Six of us showed up for dinner-- P (who also works at the some company as me), E, Norm, Chris2 and Chris3. I met Norm a year ago and he hasn't changed a bit. His whole life revolves around chasing guys and having sex. That's also all he talks about.

After diner Chris3 and I headed up to the Cuff for a drink. Bruce was working late and Chris3 didn't want to be alone. We chatted with Chris6 and officer Rob for a while. Chris3 played pool. He said he now sucks at pool. He used to be very good but has stopped playing regularly.

At about midnight we I drove Chris3 back to his place. Bruce was already there. I ended up sleeping in their spare bedroom over night.

This morning, Bruce left to do some editing for his TV show. Chris3 and I slept in late, had breakfast and then walked along Alki beach. We had a good talk. He said he really likes it when I stay in touch with he and Bruce because I calm both of them down.

We met up with Bruce later on and watched the finished version of the show. It's not bad. For a zero budget TV show, it's great.

I drove home. Stopped at the the Oberto factory outlet and bought lots of jerky. I took a nap, worked out and updated my journal.

I called Chris3 this morning. He said Bruce was working on his resume. Bruce didn't want to talk to me.

I slept very badly last night. The Mothman Prophecies gave me the creeps. I kept having to look around to see if some one was there.

31 years old and I'm still afraid of ghosts.

I haven't heard from Bruce lately. I try calling him and emailing him some more.

I had a bad day at work today. I needed to help on a number of external problems. This ment I couldn't work on my stuff.

Tonight I went with the movie bears to see The Mothman Prophecies. It's a good basic ghost story.

Afterwards I went to the Cuff for a beer. I ran into Stephan-- a good friend of my ex Brian. Stephan and I chatted a bit and I asked him how Brian was doing. I haven't seen Brian in a few months. Stephan told me that Brian moved away. When I asked where, he said that he couldn't say. Brian asked him not to tell anyone. That makes sense for Brian. He doesn't like anyone knowing too much about him.

I wish Brian the best. Our three years together wern't all peaches and cream. But still, I hope he finds happiness.

After the Cuff I had dinner at C.C.'s Then I drove home, alone. It's raining very hard tonight.

I played hookey yesterday afternoon. The network went down. Rather than staring at my computer waiting for it to return, I went snowboarding. It felt good.

I made up for it by working yesterday evening.

Bruce, Chris and I had dinner together monday evening. I'm not sure what's going on in Bruce's head. Privatly he told me that he intends to move to Calgary. When Chris is around he talks and acts like he wants to straighten things out at work.

Hey John-- no fair. I haven't had sex since last year and I didn't intend that to be a one night stand. I wanted to see him again.

Bruce on the other hand is a different story.

Thanks for paying attention though.

I think Bruce has had another one of his blow ups. Last night at about 6:30 he called me and said things weren't gong well and that he might need a place to crash. I was on my way to hockey so I told him to call me back at 9:30. He didn't call back. I tried calling him at a few different numbers but didn't reach him. Today I received this email...

> Hey Barry,
> Chris let me stay the night last night. Obviously we have a lot of things to talk about.
>
> Unfortunately it seems we won't have that need. Chances at work are quickly going away. Chris is still hopefull. I have lost it.
> I suppose their is other possibilities like XXXX, etc. And I should be exploring it but that can be tomorrow. Currently I am requesting
> time off from work and they are even not saying yes to that.
>
> Thanks for being there last night when I needed you. I'm sorry I didn't call you back. It was kind of hectic at 9:30 and then got too
> late. I'm not sure whether in situations like that I should call anyway.
>

About hockey. We lost 5-4. We were down 5-1 at the beginning of the 3rd period and then rallied. To bad we couldn't have played the first two periods with the same energy.

Friday night, I had dinner with Chris2 and his friend David. Just as we started to eat, Bruce and Chris3 showed up. Chris3 and Chris2 don't really get along. Most of the dinner was fun, but every now and then Chris2 or Chris3 would ask the other an awkward question.

After dinner, I had coffee with C2. Bruce and C3 headed over to Guppy's-- a new gay bar in West Seattle. After coffee, I caught up with B&C3.

Guppy's isn't a bad bar. It's like almost every small town gay bar that I've ever been to.

While B and C2 were playing pool a guy walked up to me. We started talking. He was a nice guy. He gave me his telephone number and email address. After I went home, I searched for his email address and found his personal home page. There was nothing exciting on the homepage. But, at the bottom of the page there was a link to a web cam site. I clicked on the link and there he was-- jerking off on his web cam.

Next morning at breakfast I told Bruce and Chris3 about him. They had a good laugh. Chris3 wrote it down. He plans on using the story in some of his writing.

I spent most of Saturday with Bruce and Chris3. We moved the last of Bruce's stuff from his old apartment. C3 headed downtown too do some work. Bruce and I hung around my place for a while and then we drove over to Mercer Island for a walk. Merceer Island is very snotty. They don't have car washes. They have Auto Spas. They don't have pet stores. They have pet groceries.

Later in the afternoon Bruce had to do some editing so I hung out with C3. Mostly we napped and played some video games. At 8:30 we met up with Bruce at Chang's Mongolian Grill.

At Chang's, I ran into a co-worker. He's just bought a new car. His old car burnt up while he was driving. He was driving up to Snoqualmie Pass when the flames appeared. There were no big explosions. Only some popping when the tires blew out.

Afterwards we drove to ReBar for a drink and to see the art-- an artist that C3 likes was displaying paintings there. Rebar isn't a bad bar. Some of the guys there were break dancing.

I left B&C3 at the Rebar. the both said they were going home. I headed over to Sno-Blo. Sno-Blo is a winter bear party. This year it was at Pier 57. Mostly it was the Cuff crowd. I chatted to a few people, drank a few beers, and then headed home.

I did some research on how our company helps/disciplines problem employees

Then, last night I helped move the last of Bruce's stuff over to Chris3's. We talked about Bruce’s work problems. It sounds like his manager is being a jerk. None of Bruce's work issues are being documented in email or by HR. This probably means the manager is coming up with it himself. When you discipline an employee you must document everything or you are opening yourself up for a law suit. Also Bruce’s performance numbers, while not spectacular, do not indicate that he needs remedial action.

Chris3 suspects that the manager knows the Bruce is gay and is attempting to force him out. I’m not sure about that. But, they definitely have a personality conflict.

I've have this nagging doubt in my mind that Bruce has fibbed a bit about his performance numbers. He told me his numbers months ago, before his current problems came up. He may have padded them a bit. Now, rather than being caught in a lie, he's retelling the same numbers.

I don't know. I hope things work out.

I played hockey last night. We lost 6-0. Our first shut out of the season. The team is fairly demoralized. We are going to organize some practices.