Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Mom got her results back. She has a non-malignant tumor. It's not growing. It's very possible that she's had it for years. Right now the doctors don't want to operate. They want to MRI her every six months to ensure it stays under control.

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Ran the three falls in 95 minutes.

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Mom had an MRI last week. She is meeting with doctors on Tuesday to discuss the results. Her sprits are up. Whatever the spot is, it was spotted early.

My aunt, a retried nurse, is helping my move through much of this. She has a good grasp is the process and the risks. This has greatly helped mom.

My aunt's husband, my uncle, died years ago from cancer. Mom was with my aunt through much of this experience. So my aunt is now graciously returning the favor.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

I have not yet told RO about the growth in mom's head, at least not until we know more about it. It  could be something simple that can be lasered out. It could be worse to, but we don't know yet.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Doctors found a growth in mom's head. They are doing more scans in the next day or two.

Monday, October 21, 2013

Memory #2

My first memories are when I was 4, or maybe 3. I don't know. This experience isn't uncommon. Who really remembers being a toddler?

We think that we start remember things after we are 4, but really how true is this? My 30's consisted of over 3650 days. I commuted to work over 2000 times. Ate over 10000 meals. Yet if I remembered 100 of those days, my memory would be considered excellent. That means the vast majority of those days are lost even to someone with an excellent memory.

Is it because I remember a day here and their while I was in my 30's that I think I remember my 30's. It's seems to be true that my 30's are as lost as my toddler years.  It's a mental quirk that makes me think otherwise. I remember a day here and there throughout my 30's, so I conclude that I remember my 30's. What's really happened is that I've forgotton that I've forgot. With no details to make me confront this absence, I conveniently don't realize it exists.  

Sunday, October 20, 2013

When I was young, I knew I didn't know much. That was OK since I was learning. Eventually I would learn every thing.

Then, in high school, and university, I knew I could learn the things I studied. I accepted that I Would be ignorant of the things I didn't study. There just wasn't enough time.

But, as time went on, I saw that even on the subjects I study, there were deep mysteries. Hard work and deep research reveals that there is so much more to learn than you can ever be exposed to.

Then I started to realize  that so much of what I knew, so much of what I had put so much effort into learning wasn't aging well. So many facts were outdated. Some of what I learnt was wrong. Much was misremembered, and lots was forgotten.

I could read some books and have a vague feeling that I've read that book before, yet not know how the book ended. Sure enough, if I looked over my reading history, I had read that book before and forgot it completely.

But the more I think about this, the less I feel that I am becoming frail, weak and forgetful with old age. This ignorance maybe the way of life for everyone, and I'm only now realizing it.

When you are young and you forget to do an assignment, or bring chips to the party it's not a big deal and you brush it off. When you are middle aged and you forget, then doubt creeps in and you think you are loosing your mind. This scares many people. I can't go there. Doubt and anxiety do not make things better. I have to face the world as it is, with the strengths that I have. Weather or not my mind is getting weaker, or stronger.

Sent from Windows Mail

I've run the three falls twice now. Its a good run, but really tires me out when I'm done. Its an out four miles round trip, and takes me about one hundred minutes to run.

This week I have a cold, so I'm resting. Hopefully ill shave a few minutes off my time next week.

Sent from Windows Mail

Coal creek falls.

I think I'm going to use Facebook less, and blog more. My blog has no readers, except me, so its ok to write about lots of stuff that only I want to read.

I've run the three falls on cougar mountain twice now. Its a great rr


A tree fell in the back yard. I sawed it up, slit the logs, then stacked the wood. I haven't done that since I was in high school. It hasn't gotten anymore easier since then.

Saturday, October 05, 2013

I ran the three falls today. Well, I mostly ran. I walked the steep up hill parts. Ran the more gentle slopes and down hill.

I took me 100 minutes. My legs are sore now, especially the tendon that ends along side my groin. Aside from that, I feel good. No blisters on my feet.