We are back home. My father-in-laws estate has mostly been taken care of. His room at the retirement home is cleaned out. 

We spent some time with my mother-in-law. The husbands mother and father have been divorced for years, but they remain close. She is sad to see an old friend die.

This morning at 3am, we left Sacramento and drove back to Seattle. 3am is early, but if leave later, then we end up hitting traffic in Eugene, Portland, Olympia or Seattle.

I'm glad to be home. We are exhausted, but we can sleep in our own bed tonight. 

Happy New Years!

The days since my father-in-laws death have been straightforward. He was ninety years old and suffering for so long that the family is a bit relieved with his passing. He didn't die alone. He got to spend Christmas with his children. What more could anyone ask for?

We are spending a few more days in Sacramento. The husband and my brother-in-law are cleaning up my father-in-law's old room. That shouldn't take long. He didn't have much. 

Hopefully his will is straight forward. My mother-in-law is the executor. She sometimes sounds a little overwhelmed or confused by the task. There is a reason why people pay lawyers for this.

Last night, my father-in-law passed away.

My father-in-law went to the hospital about a week ago... the day before we returned from Hawaii. The hospital moved him to hospice a day later. He wasn't responding to changes in his medication. He decided to stop his medication, except a low dose of pain killers.

This is the third time my father-in-law has been to hospice. The previous times he just got better and was released. Even this time with each passing day he appeared to regain some health, to be in better spirits and to have a clearer head. As we planned to head back to Sacramento, we were wondering if he would just get better again.

We decided to drive down to Sacramento on Christmas day.  Christmas Eve, our roommate, my brother-in-law, the husband and I had a nice dinner and exchanged gifts. Then the brother-in-law, the husband and I went to bed early. We woke up at 3am and got on the road.

We arrived in Sacramento late afternoon. We checked into the hotel, had a small dinner with the mother-in-law and then headed over to the father-in-law. Previously the husband and the brother-in-law both tested negative for COVID, so the nurse let them spend time in the same room with their father.

They spent about an hour and a half together. It sounded like they had a good time. 

We went to bed. This morning at seven the mother-in-law called with the news-- that their father had passed away in the night. 

It will be a couple hours before the coroner removes the body. The husband and the brother-in-law are headed over to spend some last time with him.

1. Tommy and Bathwater bring good advice...

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2020/12/we-no-longer-need-to-engage-with-trumps-die-hard-supporters/617449/

2. We are back. And because life can never be simple... the husband's father is in the hospital. We are trying to figure out how to head down to California. 

So, what are we doing while America is in pandemic lockdown, after friends and acquaintances have had COVID? We flew to Hawaii for a week.

We are keeping this trip a low profile on Facebook. 

We had a rapid test done in Seattle. We flew the six hour flight with masks and a visor. Doing so was a uncomfortable, but not unbearable.

We visited a couple here who were friends from Seattle. They moved to the big island two years ago. 

The visit got the husband and i talking. We both love vacationing in Hawaii, but have no desire to move here. It's expensive. The heat is pleasant for a few days, but then i start to feel low energy. I feel most energized when it's in the 50s or 60s. The 80s slow me down.

1...

We filled out our holiday cards today. Maybe eight of them. It's a few hours of toil. It feels good to get it done.

Editing the address list always brings back memories. There were a few friends we haven't heard from in a while. Years really. It's a judgment call with these... who should we cut out? who should we try one more time? 

Sandy reappeared on our list after being cut out years ago. He's been reaching out again. It's good to hear from him.

One death on the list. One divorce. 

Four new people on the list. I like that we have new friends in the time a pandemic. 

2...

I called an old friend today for the first time since the pandemic began. I've known him for years-- maybe 25. He is from my old city, so the distance makes it difficult to stay in touch. 

While we were sharing this years disaster stories, he asked me some weird but serious questions about COVID (he had proof it was an escaped Chinese bio weapon), the election fraud (How bad was it that the the judicial system had turned down so much evidence) and the Antifa (How big are they? Am I far away enough from downtown Seattle that I'd be OK if they attacked.) I chose my words carefully. I didn't want to get into a deep debate on this. 

This did get me thinking though. Mentally, I still separate Trump supporters from Republicans who support Trump because he is the president. These Republicans may stay quiet on Trump theatrics for various personal reasons (lower taxes? abortion?) but, by and large they don't support his him as a person. 

Is that true? Does 45% of the country really believe the election was stolen? That COVID is a globalist conspiracy to take over the U.S? 

Either way, how should I engage people who radically disagree with me on not only on the facts and analysis, but the process chosen to determine what is a fact, what is evidence? Staying silent sounds like I tacitly agree. Confronting polarizes them and ends the conversation. Somehow I have to convey a loving and supportive doubt.  "Stay with me... I love you and I want to listen to you even though we disagree. I know this is the best you can do right now..."

A friend who is sometimes unclear on the concept...

1. Work has been busy for the husband and I this week.

2. The brother in law is applying for jobs. He has an interview for an Amazon warehouse role, and another interview as a support rep for an insurance company.

3. It's been cool and sunny here of late. I love this weather.

4. For the first time in my life I built my own PC and installed linux on it. Part of me did this because much of my work team is very anti Microsoft, anti Apple. I'm showing off to the cool kids at work, trying to get there respect.

Honestly, it took me about three weeks to build the PC. The first week it wouldn't even power up. The second week it would power up, but stop and blink all sorts of error lights.