Friday, March 27, 2015

RO had a small heart attack last night. He is ok, but he will be in the hospital for a few days

We were negotiating our separation contract. He didn't like what I proposed and we argued via txt message. A few hours later I got a txt from Boone that he drove RO to the hospital with chest pains.

Saturday, March 21, 2015

The Wind...

Last Thursday's dinner with Behr & BitBehr was very nice. It was good to catch up with them. Much has happened in the years since we last spoke.

For a while, we talked about drug and alcohol use in the gay community. It's far more common than I'd like. Steven even spoke a little about his drug use, it's beginnings and what pushed him to treatment.

I can only speculate why drug and alcohol problems are so common around me. I suspect it's because this crowd has nothing to care for other than themselves. With no children, all our money earned is spent entertaining ourselves and finding the next hot guy to have sex with. This can be a very selfish life and unless you are careful, very self destructive.

I'm visiting C2's cabin on Hood Canal. For lunch I stopped by a little lake to eat in the sun. As I sat and watched the lake, I saw patches of little ripples. The ripples would appear in an area, shift, grow and subside. Sort of like how a cloud changes shape.

Over time I noticed that I'd feel a slight breeze when the ripples were by me. It donned on me that the ripples were caused by the faintest eddies of the breeze. I was watching the wind.

After a while the sun hid behind the clouds and the breeze picked up. I finished my lunch and left.

C2's cabin is quiet. It offers me time to contemplate, to read a little, to write a little.

Cell phone coverage is spotty, though wi-fi is good.

Soon the sun will hid behind the hills. I'm going out to enjoy.

Saturday, March 14, 2015

I have my clothing. This makes me happy.

When I moved out, I didn't bring much with me-- a few t shirts. A few long sleeve shirts, some jeans, underwear and toiletries. That was it. It was very minimalist. For the past three months, it worked, but I had to do small loads of laundry a few times a week.

It's been difficult to get back. With the no-contact order I can't even get within 500 feet of my house.

I finally got Boone to bag up all my clothing. We met last night and handed it off.

There is nothing new to report on my charges. When we met for pretrial, the prosecutor had not yet given my lawyer a copy of the evidence. In fact the prosecutor showed up at the court with no files at all. Somehow they were misplaced. Now everything is delayed by a month.

I'm starting to re-establish contact with my old friends. I lost touch with many people while RO and I were together. I knew RO wasn't beloved, but I didn't dwell to much on the details. I was fine not going out.

BitBear thanked God for the excorcism when he heard about our separation. That surprised me. BitBear is usually calm and quiet and I didn't think he ever talked much to RO.

I have to walk a careful line here. RO has known for a long time that many of my friends stopped talking to me while we were together. Part of him wants to think that this is because people (me included) are saying cruel things about him behind his back. He doesn't realize how combative and overbearing he sometimes is.

I spent the night in jail. Now, How did this happen…

RO and I met to talk about our separation contract. RO started to get belligerent and took a few swings at me. I tried to leave but he blocked the way. I held him at bay for about 10 minutes. I didn't know how else to end it, so I took a good swing and pushed him down.

I stayed around to make sure he was OK. He started talking and swearing at me. So I  left.
We both called 911.
The police came and we chatted for a while. I'm not sure why took me and not RO. So, I spent the night in jail.
At my arraignment, I was charged with 4th degree assault and released without bail.
On my way out, the jailer joked with me "Before you go telling anyone any I-did-hard-time stories, let me tell you that you spent the night in the nicest jail in the county, and that 4th degree assault is not a felony. "
I never felt unsafe the whole time was there. Worried but not unsafe. My cell had 11 other people in it. Everyone was clean and well kept. When I entered the cell, they quickly figured out I was new to this whole process. One of them helped me set up my cot. Then he gave me a short speech on cleanliness. There were no janitors there so, everyone had to help keep things clean.
The cot was not comfortable.
This is not something I want to go through again. But, kudos to the staff and inmates.
Now. More later on what I've learned from this.