Tuesday, I had dinner with C3. Tacos at a local gay bar. I try to have dinner with him regularly. He lives in a trendy area of Seattle. It's fun for me to get out of the suburbs-- to see the hip & cool kids. 

C3 is waging war on the pigeons that visit his balcony. He has a bird feeder there and enjoys watching the small birds eat at it. On the other hand the pigeons chase off the small birds and make a mess.

His solution has been to build a Rube Goldberg of a cage around the bird feeder. The cage is made of odds and ends found around the house-- plastic tubs, bits of metal, duct tape. The holes in the cage are big enough to let the small birds through, but small enough to keep the pigeons out. 

The pigeons constantly pry at the cage to pull it part and gain access to the food. He responds by rebuilding the cage with more duct tape and stronger odds-and-ends.

I asked him why he doesn't buy a pigeon proof bird feeder. They are not that expensive. He responded that he's moving soon and he doesn't want to buy anything more to move.

C3's lease expires soon and he's looking for a new aparment. His apartment overlooks a loud and busy park-- there are always people there playing basketball, skate boarding, baseball, sometimes cricket. He wants an apartment that is more quiet.

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At work, my manager has been promoted. My manager asked me if I wanted to apply for his job. He is looking for a replacement. In the past I've said I'm not interested in that job. It's more administration, more stress and less direct engagement with our business problems.

I talked this over with C3. His blunt response was "Why wouldn't you apply?"

This morning I threw my hat into that ring. We'll see. I'm trying to not be emotionally attached to this. There are good reasons to hire a fresh outside candidate. There are also good reasons to hire me.

Yesterday, for the first time in weeks, the husband and I had sex. It was good. The husband cried a little afterwards. I think he was relieved-- that our relationship is headed in the right direction.

My mother has had her latest call with the oncologist. Positive news. Her last scan shows some swelling in the area around the tumor, but that's not uncommon. She'll have another scan in three months.

The husband is keeping busy during his travels-- hanging out with friends. Buying cheap tickets to musicals. I'm happy for him.

For the past few days, I have been in San Francisco for work. It's largely a moral and team building event with dinners, parties and and a harbor cruise. 

Hundreds of people flew in for Tuesday and Wednesday. The offices were busy. Most people have returned home. I'm staying for an extra day. Of course the office is quiet again. I have the 24th floor of our building all to myself. 

This floor as an expensive espresso machine. Allegedly $15,000.00. I want to make some coffee with it, but the buttons are all obscure icons. I'll youtube some training videos later.

Over the weekend, our HOA hosted it's first neighborhood get-together since before the pandemic. It was nice to meet many of our neighbors for the first time.

Today is my second last day in Ontario. My brother and his wife left yesterday. Baring any disaster at the airports, I should be home Saturday night.

The husband picked up an STD during his relapse. It's all treatable. He and I must have much deep conversation about our relationship. He is humiliated about the relapse and is punishing himself. He is also being very open and honest with me. 

I have no urge to have a revenge trick. Between the husband's bad experience, and C2's stories about his hookups, I have no desire to go down that path.

So, what does it look like to repair my relationship with the husband? 

I now have access to mom's medical file and can see the details. She has Alzheimers and lung cancer. The cancer is slow and hasn't spread. It will be a few weeks before we meet with the oncologist to discuss next steps. That last part is frustrating. Her previous oncologist has left that hospital.

The husband is taking his relapse seriously. He is working closely with his sponsor and keeping himself busy-- meetings every day-- proper self care.  I have to let him do his thing. There is nothing I can do to help him stay sober.

My family and I are reflecting on mom and discreetly discussing how to manage her care. She looks healthy despite the radiation treatment. I hope she beats the cancer. We can only manage her Alzheimer's. What does the rest of her life look like?

I am also catching up with hold high school acquaintances. Some of them are talking about stepping back from work. Not retiring, but working less aggressively. 

One, a real-estate agent, said she her work is dawn-to-dusk, seven-days-a-week. The is affecting her relationships and her health. She is stepping back from real-estate to find something new.

Another couple, who has always run multiple small businesses, saw some of their business go-away at the start of the pandemic. Their other businesses grew and could largely be run remotely. 

This fall they will try RVing for few months to see if they enjoy it. The husband is looking forward to it, but uncertain. He's not good at sitting still or driving for hours-- at the start of the pandemic he stress-built a new wing on their house because he needed something to do.

Saturday, I tracked down another high school acquaintance. We are both children of farmers and sat at the same table during home-room.

Recently BH has had some medical issues. A blood vessel kept leaking in his brain. The surgery to address that appears to have been successful. He is now recovering at home.

While BH is recovering a cousin of mine is helping around BH's farm. My cousin suggested I talk to BH-- BH has nothing to do during the day and would appreciate the company.

It was good to catch up with him. We are *very* different people. Very different life experiences. BH mentioned that I seem to be good at talking to people, something he's always struggled with. BH runs a very successful farm-- a life I intentionally moved far far away from decades ago.