Monday, July 17, 2017
Don is one of our neighbors. We met him walking dogs. Recently he had to put his dog down. The dog was an old fella who finally met his time.
We have dinner with Don every few months. Don can be quirky and a little of him goes a long way. Though Sundays dinner with him was very pleasant.
Tuesday, July 11, 2017
We rented a block of rooms at a local hotel to ensure our guests would all be close at hand of sight seeing and for the wedding. We also wanted to avoid choosing which family got to stay in our house, and which had to stay elsewhere.
My parents arrived Wednesday evening and we brought them to their room. My mom looked around and become very uneasy. The room was on the 19th floor. That made her very uncomfortable. We called to the front desk. They found another room on the 12th floor. We went down there. Then mom she said she was expecting and looking forward to staying with Steven and I. And it was very disappointing for her to stay in a hotel. We talked about it for a bit and decided that my mom and dad could stay at our house.
The above makes my mother sound very manipulative. That's not true. Mom has dementia. She routinely forgets where she is. Emotional surprises are very confusing to her.
Since where I'm living now is not where she remembers where I lived, we were worried that my new house would also be a shock to her.
Originally, we thought this would put a few kinks in our plans since we would now need to taxi mom and dad around. Fortunately, my friends C2 & J&G helped out there. Over the next few days C2 would spend a lot of time with my parents making sure they got to the right place.
Dad is good with watching over her and catching her up when she gets confused. It seems that she blanks out and then tries to figure out where she is from what's going on around her. A few times mom thought she was elsewhere. Usually in Ottawa. She would see that she was in a city. The nearest city to her home is Ottawa, so she'd conclude Ottawa was where she was. We'd gently remind her that she was in Seattle for my wedding. The light would come on in her head.
We had to watch diligently when she went to the bathroom. It would be very bad if she forgot where she was with none of us around.
Thursday morning my friends G&J arrived as well as some of Steven's family. Steven and I separated for the afternoon while Steven caught up with his family. I took G&J and my parents sight seeing. We visited a few local parks to catch the views and spend some time in the sun-- the weather was perfect.
We caught up for drinks and dinner at a bar called the Nest which is on the top of a local hotel. More gorgeous views.
Friday we took it a bit easier. I wanted to make sure that mom and dad could have a nap-- mom being less prone to forgetfulness when she is well rested. We toured Theo's chocolate. Dad really enjoyed that as he is a chocolate lover.
You get to eat a lot of good chocolate on Theo's Chocolate tour. I recommend it for that.
Friday evening was a dinner for the out-of-towners. This was a good dinner hosted by one of Steven's oldest friends. I am very grateful to her for this. About 20 people where there, and she paid for our dinner and drinks.
The event was a bit of a high school reunion of Steven as half a dozen of his old high school friends attended.
Saturday was show time. Steven and I slept it. G&J dropped by for breakfast.
Steven's brother and another friend took care of flowers and some of setup.
The wedding was a blur. We arrived at the venue, at about 3pm and helped with setup. The venue is an extra large suite at a hotel. so at about 4pm Steven and I went to the bedroom and dressed for the wedding. We both wore tuxedoes and bow ties. It was fun.
Guests started arriving at about 6pm. The ceremony started around 7pm. It went well. We both cried a little as we recited our vows. It was very emotional. Joyous. I saw friends there I haven't seen it years.
Catering left around 11:00pm. The last of the guests by 11:30. Steven and I collapsed in bed from exhaustion by midnight.
We woke up filling great. I know it's mushy, but I smile every time I call Steven "Husband"
We met the guests for a going away brunch and said our good buys.
Saturday, July 08, 2017
Monday, July 03, 2017
Guests arrive Wednesday to Friday. We've arranged a hotel, itinerary and gift bags.
Till now we've kept our relationship and wedding off of RO's radar-- no Facebook posts, We talked about that and decided to "come out." RO casts too much of a shadow over us. It's been two and a half years since I ended my relationship with RO. It's time to move on. So Steven and I posted about our wedding on Facebook.
We talked with C2 about it. He agrees that we that we shouldn't feel the need to hide our relationship. He also asked us to get security at the wedding. There is a 95% chance that nothing will happen. But you never know...
Steven is much more eloquent that I am. The facebook post is so sweet. His vows are nice. I can learn lots from him.
Wednesday, June 28, 2017
The wedding logo stuff is arriving. We have pillows, thank you notes, pens and coasters. I've also seen napkins with the logo. I don't know where those have gone.
Steven loves this stuff. He does this type of event planning for work, so he knows how to get it done. I've told him that sometimes I feel like a bit of a tourist through this. I can watch, but it's difficult for me to participate.
I think this may be one of the perpetual tensions in our relationship. I can be very minimalist. Steven loves his art. He loves design. He loves decoration. We are very good at meeting each other in the middle. Sometimes we look at each other with very different perspectives.
"That's too much! This is unnecessary."
"You are not trying... this could be so much more."
Saturday, June 17, 2017
Saturday. Three weeks till the wedding.
The wedding has a logo. Steven took it from our Wedding invitation. He has since ordered mugs, pillows coasters and note cards with it on it. It's kind of cute, but mostly I'm reminded that he appreciates things that I don't. Little proper details.
I'm not nervous about the wedding. It's all good.
C3 won't attend the wedding. He'll spend a few days before hand with us. As he said, in his present state of mind he doesn't feel anything. He doesn't want to be a stick in the mud.
Sunday, June 11, 2017
Steven has kept in touch with many of his childhood friends. I don't know if this unusual or common. I have not kept in touch with my grade school friends
It seems that once a month I meet a few grade school friend of his.
I've known Steven for years, and I'm still meeting new grade school friends of his.
They are all nice people. We have pleasant dinners together.
Tuesday, May 23, 2017
This past weekend was my birthday. Steven arranged a weekend away at the coast with two great friends of ours.
Friday, May 19, 2017
Wednesday, May 03, 2017
Tuesday, May 02, 2017
Saturday, April 29, 2017
Traffic in Bangalore is a sight to behold. There are very few rules and almost no traffic enforcement. I think red lights are respected. Aside from that anything goes. The traffic flows like water with cars, pedestrians, bikes, motorcycles and auto-rickshaws all flowing between each other.
For pedestrians trying to cross the street, the secret is to just walk out and expect the cars to stop. Running or weaving between the cars is bad The drivers can't predict you. If you walk calmly in a straight line, then they can break or swerve.
Steven is getting good at this. The first evening we were here, when we wanted to cross the road, we waited a long time for a break in the traffic, then we dashed across. Now Steven just walks out when there is a little bit of a gap. The drivers adjust.
An Indian coworker informed me that only Bangalore works like this. In other cities that would get you run over.
While on the road one morning, we were talking with the driver about things to see. He pointed out a large market on the side of the highway and asked us if we wanted to see it. I think I said "That would be nice sometime." So the driver just stopped on the highway. He didn't pull over. He just stopped.
I remember years ago, a neighbor, who went to my church, toured India. He reported back that he was sick with the presence of Satan when he visited the temples.
I don't think it was Satan, but I know what was feeling. The heat, the exhaust, the floral smell (The flowers here have a very strong scent) and the jungle rot, can be noxious after a while. I must pace myself and drink plenty of water or I feel sick.
The temples are beautiful works of art. Long lines form for people to enter and commune with the local deity.
Steven and I didn't go into the temples. It feels disrespectful to be a tourist in another religions place of worship.
Wednesday, April 19, 2017
We are getting ready for a trip—India! I'm going for work. Steven is coming along for vacation.
It's a long flight there. About 20 hours including a layover. Basically we get on the jet at 9am on Saturday night, then get off at 7pm Sunday. With the 12 hour time difference we loose half a day there.
We get the half a day on the way back. We leave Bangalore on Sunday evening and arrive back in Seattle on Monday morning.
I am a little jealous of Steven. I have to prepare half a dozen discussions. He gets to see the sights.
Sunday, April 16, 2017
Steven's nieces were in town for a few days. Uncle Steven loves spoiling them.
We went to a drag show. It was fun to watch. Well danced, well performed.
There were no Judy Garland's, Marilyn Monroe's or Barbara Streisand's at the show. Cher was still popular. Now that I think about it, the same is true on "RuPaul's Drag Race" Has the current generation of Drag Queens moved beyond Judy, Marilyn & Barbara?
Steven is napping now. I'm reading and writing in the sunlight. Today is one of the first nice days that we have had in a while—sun and warmth without the rain.