Steven's mother is doing OK. She had walking pneumonia and a high blood pressure spike. She is out of the hospital now.

I threw out my back. I was doing a new exercise, burpees, that are a wonderful full body exercise. Except they are also hard on the back.

At work things have gotten weird. Some background. I'm a manager. A peer of mine, M, is also a manager. Our boss's boss, F is new. F directly gave M a new responsibility, skipping over our boss and delegating direct to M. This new responsibility is tough and feels punitive.

M melted down. He left work for two days. He came back briefly on Friday to talk to his mentor. He left his mentor crying and went home again. Our boss also had to leave work. His blood pressure was high and he had a migraine.

Today M is back. M and our boss have been in and out of meetings all day.

I get it that F's ask is tough, but M's reaction did not help. F's authoritarian leadership isn't helping either.

I can only mind my own business and hope that it all works out.

Steven spent the weekend in Sacramento with his mother. She had a blood pressure spike and was hospitalized. She's OK and is out of the hospital now.

Steven spent much of the weekend working on his parents homes.(They are divorced). While they live independently, they are becoming feeble. The house maintenance isn't what it used to be.

I had a quiet Saturday. I caught up on many chores I haven't done in a while.

Sunday I exercised for the first time in a long time. I threw my back out. Advil and ice packs are helping. 

We are back from Seaside OR and the AA convention.

I really enjoy parts of the AA convention. Other parts just weren't for me. My AA friends there understood that too. There is a gap between us. They've done hard drugs. They struggle to stay sober. Sobriety just comes naturally to me.

I can see them battle. I can appreciate the effort they put into it. I can see them work hard for any trick that will make their day easier, that will mend their past wrongs, that will let them take one step forward.

When I listen to the speakers, their are always funny stories. I enjoy that very much. There is also the constant reminder that we must push ourselves every day to improve.

One thing that AA does well, is to make self-improvement a social thing. Through sponsors and sponsees. Through meetings. It's all free. You just have to do the work. We don't have a real model for that in my world, the secular world.

I attend Al Anon meetings-- meetings for friend and family of addicts. But I don't really have Al Anon problems. My husband is a great man. He has his shit together.

But, I do take a few lessons from Al Anon and AA. Then I will have one cocktail. Just one. Two will give me a headache and make me feel pasty. I will enjoy my one cocktail and have a good night's sleep knowing that my demons are elsewhere.

As C6 said, "If I could drink like you, I would drink like that all day."

BL's death is getting complicated. He has a lawyer written and registered will in Washington State. And, allegedly, a newer will, messily written on a cocktail napkin, in Florida.

Sides are being taken. Demands are being made.

SB, who is the executor of the Washington will, is in Florida trying to close down BL's estate. Part of me thinks he would be happy if the cocktail-napkin-will appeared and was legitimate. That would let him walk away from this mess.

Either way, SB is keeping a few people informed and copied on what's happening just in case things go wrong. The "Cocktail Napkin Crowd" are in interesting set of characters.

We are in Seaside OR for the weekend with QJ and C6. We enjoy traveling with them. We are down here for an AA convention though we are spending most of the time doing our own thing. 

C6 has troubling news. His transplanted heart is having troubles. We talked about it for a bit. He doesn't want to go through the surgeries again. He has decided that if his heart fails, then that is that. He is at peace with that choice. 

With BL's death, and now C6's news, Steven and I have been talking about how we want to die. No decisions yet. Just the start of a long conversation. 

BL died last night. Heart Attack.

I didn't know BL well, He was a friend of Steven's. They met through the AA crowd. We've had dinner together many times. He also did yard work on my house. He was a talented gardener.

BL led a very colorful life. He did porn in the 80's and used that as a pickup line ever since. He would have a hot new boyfriend a little more often than I could keep track of.

Steven cried a little when he heard about BL. He and a few of BL's other friends are at a meeting tonight, sharing their experience, strength and hopes together.