I'm going to build my own Stereo. I was talking to a audiophile co-worker about good stereo's for under $1000. He mentioned I could get something that sounded like a $5000 system for much less if I built my own, . He also pointed me to BottleHead A company that provides do-it-yourself stereo kits. A friend of his has one and likes it very much.

I thought about it for a moment and decided to do it. I want to build my own stereo. I've purchased the Paramour Amp kit and the Foreplay Preamp kit. If I like how they turn out then I'll build my own speekers.

I haven't soldered in years. Fortunatly I work with some engineers who can work me through the rough spots.

I'm back. I loved Puetor Vallarta. Last night i was looking at some of the photos I took and wanted to go back. The city its self isn't that great-- run down, dirty, 3rd world country. But the ocean and the sun make up for it.

I flew down with Mathew, Sandy, Mac and John.

Monday... we flew in. Sat in the sun for a couple of hours. Had dinner at a great restaurant (Pacfica) and hit the sack

Tuesday... We sat in the sun. Swam in the ocean and drank alot. Our bar tab (including food) ran about US$120.00 We met a group that called themselves "The Bitches Of Hamelton." They were from Hot Springs. Arkansas. What an odd crowd. Old, occasional draq queens. Very much into drugs. They had more pot than they could smoke in a week, so they gave Sandy a few joints. They also had a lot of Xanax-- at some pharamcies, you don't need a perscription to buy drugs. Together they were every bad gay stereotype you had ever met. Not a butch bone in their bodies. They gigeled at every lame quip that rolled off their tired lips. Must be all the Xanax.

We tried to keep some distance between them and us. But, we were in the same hotel and on the same schedules.

In the evening we drove to the Poco Hotsprings. The tour was organized by a local gay bar. We spent an hour on the road in a very rickety bus.

The hot springs were good. The dinner was nice. A number of guys got in on and had sex. At one point, an exhibitionist with a boner walked right towards the by me. I joked that I thought my eye was going to be poked out.

Wednesday things went a bit sour. We were on the beach talking about massages. The hotel offered massages. But, a guy on the beach offered erotic massages. We wondered what would you get with an erotic massage? Was a massage and a hand job cheating? That's were things went wrong. John said that a hand job and a massage was just a business transaction and wasn't really cheating. Mac (John's boyfriend) was very uncomfortable with that and said so, For the rest of the day he was very distant from John. They ended up arguing about it on the way to dinner.

Thursday I think things cleared up between Mac and John. At least they were holding hands again. We took a cruise. Saw dolphins, whales. Went snorkeling. Drank a lot. Swam in the ocean. It was a great day.

Thursday evening John got sick. Bleah.

Friday we hung out by the beach. Mathew and I took a walk through more of Vallarta. Very beautiful. Very touristy.

Friday night Mat, Sandy and i had dinner at the Red Cabbage. I thought the food was very good. Mathew on the other hand, got sick. We're not sure if it was the food at the Red Cabbage or something else

Saturday, Mat and Mac rested. John stayed in Vallarta, but Sandy and I went to Poco's Paradise-- a privage gay beach. Very quiet. Very relaxing. It's a nude beach. Sandy and I went nude for a bit, but one of the Bitches of Hamelton kept trying to take our picture. He stoped once we made it very clear to him that we didn't want pictures. But still, just in case, we stayed dressed.

Sunday. Last full day in Puerto Vallarta. We took it easy. Mathew and Mac are still a bit sick. John is stressing out. He doesn't take new situations well and John's being sick has weighed heavilly on him. We hung out at the beach durning the day. Mat and John will only eat American at this point-- Mac Donalds for Lunch. Hard Rock Cafe for dinner. Sandy and I are fine.

After the two couples went to bed, I went up the roof top bar and had a few drinks. I chatted with a guy, but he was only interested in Latino's.

Monday we flew back. Sandy took two Xanax to releive his flying anxiety. By the time we got back to Seattle, he was gigly and slightly sluring his words.

Random things I want to remember...

At night the ocean has glowning blue creatures. They're small-- a spec of sand. But they glow a beutiful blue

The waves can be loud. When some of the larger waves crash, my windows rattle

There are very few masculine men in this town. The other guys want to fix me up (I'm the only single guy) but, non-effemantive men are very hard to find. We spotted one, but after talking to him, it turned out he has a boyfriend

Frank from Vancouver is in Seattle. Steven , Vic (Steven's BF), Frank and I met for drinks at the Cuff. Frank and I hung around all evening. Vic and Steve both commented that I should go after Frank. He's a good man with a good job. I said I wanted to but Frank always played it cool-- Frank would be receptive if I touch him, but would never touch me. Frank would let me kiss him, but wouldn't kiss me.

Later on Frank said he was tired and was going back to the hotel. I invited Frank to my place. He agreed. We slept together. Cuddled all night. In the morning I tried to have sex with Frank but he stopped me. He said in December he broke up with a guy from Victoria. The break up was hard on him. So he wasn't in the mood. I left it at that.

Later I found a note on my truck from Steven. It said "Slut! No, i didn't really mean that, I hope you had a nice time."

I had breakfast with Steven and Vic. They gave me atta-boy's for going home with Frank. I told them Frank's story and that we didn't have sex. We analyzied it a bit and figured that Frank is probably still seeing someone.

Oh well.

I'm heading down to Puerto Vallarta on Monday morning. This will be the last post till Jan 28th.

My truck is getting old. It's going through more oil. For the first time in the 5 years that I've owned it, I had to put a quart of oil in the engine inbetween the 5000 mile checkups.

C2 lectured me today. Often when it comes to politics I'd rather not argue about it. I think this comes from my family. My parents would never debate politics. If a disagreement came up, they would change the subject.

C2 has noticed that trait in me as well... avoidance of political argument. But, when the labour camps in North Korea hit the news yesterday, he wanted me to argue about it. He said that some issues were too important to ingore... such as the war on terrorism, Iraq and North Korea. And that I needed to be more comforatble with disagreement between people and to be ready to defend my opinions.

I agreed with him. Just to avoid an arguement.

I had lunch with with the work bears. Bruce showed up. It's the first time he's done so in months.

I tanned again last night. I'm slightly red now, though it's starting to look good. If I take my shirt off you can tell I used a tanning bed. The tane fades very quickly along my sides and is very strong on the parts that were in contact with the bed.

Tonight I had dinner with Steven. He's starting to fill out the paper work he needs to move to Canada. His BF is in Victoria. For other reasons he is going to quit his job this summer. Since it's a natural break from his career, he wants to move closer and build their relationship. I wish him luck.

We had dinner at The Pumphouse. It's a good restaurant. They have 160 different beers on tap.

Unfortunatly, without leaving Seattle, I can't run from Harry. We have many common friends, some of whom are his neighbours.

The Seattle gay scene is very small. Between C6, C2 and I, we know every non-femme gay man in western Washington.

I played hockey last night. We lost 3-1. I actually played a good game. Although, I did get an equal strength roughing penalty.

I'm about to get hurt again. This wound will be self inflicted. I was looking through Yahoo Personals and saw Harry's picture and ad. I sent him an email and asked him out for dinner. No Strings. No Pressure. Part of me wants very badly to date Harry. Another part of me needs to hear him say "No." It would help me move on.

I keep hitting "Send/Receive" in Outlook. Is this the new millennium version of waiting by the phone?

Damn it. I just got another piece of spam. My heart went through a mini-rollarcoster. "I got new email! Oh, it's just spam."

At least I'm heading down to Puerto Vallarta next week. Having a wounded heart on a sunny beach sounds so much better than having a wounded heart in rainy Seattle.

Sunday evening I went and saw Star Trek: Nemesis with two of the pb's. Nemesis is an ok action flick.

I went to the Cuff afterwards. I think the Cuff is dieing off. It's not nearly as popular as it used to be. two or three years ago, the Cuff would be backed for the Sunday night beer bust. Now it's not even a third full.

Interesting trivia that I've been meaning to write down... The Coca Cola Company calls the coke ribbon the "dynamic ribbon device"

I didn't do much on Saturday. I had stomach cramps, so I took it easy. In the evening, I went to a house party at Ryan & Jen's. It was good to see them again.

Sunday morning, I had brunch with Mike, Sandy, Mathew and two of the pb's. We made some of our final plans for Puerto Vallarta. A week from Monday we fly down to Puerto Vallarta. We are staying there for a week.

I hate regret. I wish I didn't have feelings for Harry.

Harry has started seeing one of the pb's. When I heard this, my heart sunk.

Other than that, I went over to Mathew and Sandy's for dinner, a movie (Monsters Inc) and cards.Afterwards, I drove to Mike's and we went to the Cuff. We talked a bit, and I gave him the "Let's just be friends speach"

Had dinner with Steven. It was the first time I've seen him since mid December. Things are going ok with him, though he is stresssed now.

For the past year Steve has been in a long distance relationship with a guy from Victoria. Christmas was good because they got to spend two weeks together. Now that they are apart again, Steve is a bit bummed.

Steve has decided to leave his company. It's merging with another company and they are downsizing the staff. Steve doesn't like the direction the merged company is taking, so he's asked for a package. He's not sure what to do now. Part of him wants to move up to Victora, to be with his BF. But he's not sure how fast he can get a visa. It may take years. It may take days.

Last night, Mike came over for dinner. It was plesant although conversation with him is difficult. There were lots of awkward silences.

We did have sex, though he didn't spend the night. He has a very cute body.

We are supposed to get together again on Saturday evening.

No. I'm not falling for Mike-- bad conversation, plus he lives a very different life then me. I earn a lot more than he does I don't want to be a sugar daddy.

Cor is up to his old tricks. He told me that Mike called and then he fed me a line about how the two of them flirted and how Mike wanted to meet him. I asked Cor when Mike called and Cor laughed. He said mike hadn't really called. He saw Mike's number on a "Cuff" business card and decided to bug me.

C2 has found Norm (See Dec 20th) Norm hasn't been captured by the Brazillian goverment and charged with sedition. Instead he moved to Phoenix. His mother is sick and he's taking care of her. C2 is going to Phoenix to visit Norm. Good vacation and Norm owes him $1400.

Tonight I used a tanning bed for the 1st time. It was just a 10 minute session since I'm prone to burning. I'm going to Peurto Vallarta at the end of January, and I don't want to burn once I get there. I can't say I noticed a colour difference, but it did chap my lips.

Yesterday I had a second date with Mike. We went hiking at Snoqualmie Falls. It was fun. We did have a romp in the bed. He has a hot body. I'm not going to analyze the situation yet. I want to get to know him better before I judge him.

Cor is back. He spent the last 3 weeks touring Asia-- China, Japan, Korea and Tibet. He had a great trip though he's very jet lagged right now.

Played hockey last night. We lost 5-1. It was the first game I played in a few weeks. I missed a game when I traveled. Also, the season suspends over Christmas.

Yesterday I bought a light box Basically it's a very bright light on a stand. You sit next to it for about 30 minutes in the morning.



I've been very groggy this winter.When it's cloudy and rainy during the day, I have problems getting out of bed, I feel tired and have low energy. Once the sun goes down, I wake up.

It has definitely wakes me up in the short term (for a few hours after I use it) We'll see how well it works after in the long term.

Tommy, is it more sunny in LA?

Last night I had dinner with C2, Mathew and Ryan. After dinner, C2 went home. Mat, Ryan and I headed to the Seattle Eagle. It was "Pee Night." Several guys asked us if we were there for the wet party. The Eagle is a very skanky bar. A lot of the patrons don't look healthy.

Had a fun first date on Thursday. We had lunch together. After lunch we went snowboarding. He never snowboarded before, but when I told him I was going, he asked if he could come along. So, I showed him the basics.

He's a cute, nice man. I'm going to get to know him better. We'll see how things go. He words most weekdays during the evenings, so scheduling may keep us apart.

I spent new years eve with Mathew and Sandy. We had dinner at 13 coins. Expensive. Mediocre food.

I also dropped by their new place. They are all unpacked. It looks like a home now.

Weird milestone. My blog has had more than 5000 hits.

Today C2 took me shopping. For months he's said I need some good clothing (I only wear jeans, t-shirts and flannel shirts) Finally, yesterday he figured out I would go unless he took me. So, after lunch we went to Nordstoms. I spent a few hundred dollars on 3 good shirts, a new belt and a new pair of pants.

I'll wear one of the shirts the next time I see him. Other than that, I doubt I'll ever wear them. I kind of like jeans and t-shirts.

I'm back in Seattle. I spent the last two days with the babies. Many of my old Toronto friends are married and having kids. I did the rounds and spent time with them.

Being a parent really changes your life. A baby sucks up all of your free time.

I went to the Toronto Zoo today-- with some of the babies. It was fun.

C2 drove me home from the airport. On the way we talked about psychiatrists and how many of our friends were seeing them. I asked C2 if he ever saw a shrink. He said no, but then back peddled. He said once, there was an incident and he had to see a psychiatrist to determine if he was stable. The psychiatrist found he was sane. I told C2 that one day I'd get him drunk and get him to spill his guts about the rest of that story. He laughed and said "Yeah, right."

I'm in Toronto now. Visting my old friends.

On my way to Liam's, I ran into my ex, Robert. It's been years since I we've talked. Rob left me for another man. I'm kind of annoyed. after Rob left me, his life picked up. He got a job, and stayed with his new BF for six years. I can't even console my self by saying "Well, Rob was better off with me."

At least Rob has got fat. Also, I got a back-handed complement from Rob's BF. The BF said to Rob about me, "Oh, so this is the one that looks like Brad Pitt." Bob replied "Yes."

Years ago running into Rob would have depressed me for days. Now he's just someone I once new.

I spent Friday night at Liam's. He had a party. About a dozen guys showed up.We stayed up, drinking and talking till 4am.

I spent Saturday with G&J and their babbies. J&M. J is almost 2 now. M is only 4 months. The babies have really changed G&J their whole life has to revolve around the children.

Saturday evening, I headed back downtown and went out with Liam and some of his friends. The Toronto gay scene is very different than Seattle's. Toronto is a big party town-- many clubs don't close till 7am. Drugs are everywhere. The club we went to, Five, has hit on an interesting formula. The crowd is leather and bears, but the bar is setup like an A-list twink bar-- crome, glass and mirors everywhere. Funky lights. Very clean. Until now every leather or bear bar I've been to has been grungy and run down.

How did Five hit on this fomula? It started out as an A-List twink bar, but the twinks were doing too many drugs and only buying water. To boost liquor sales managment gave cover-passes to drinkers-- bears and leather-men. Eventually the bears and leather-guys took over and the twinks stopped going.

It's an interesting mix. I hope it spreads to other cities.

Over lunch with my parents, we talked about the politics of driving the buses. Both of my parents drive the school bus. Many petty issues go a long with it. There are video cameras in the bus and the school bus driving regulations are very long. So, every day, odds are, some minor regulation is broke. If the boss likes you, things go well. If he doesn't, you constantly get reprimands.

In the afternoon, I ran into my first BF. It was kind of weird seeing him again. He's 51 now. It was kind of like old times. We went back to his place. For a while he smoked his cigar while I relaxed him. When he finished his 'gar, he topped me. It was fun. It's been a while since I've had sex with a real man. I should work harder on dating one in the States.

I'm on vacation now.

Sunday I went snowboarding with C2 to Mission Ridge. After that I had dinner with Mat, Sandy and the pb's. Matt made up a bunch of PB T Shirts. Since Matt and I are too big to be pb, we got "PB Protector" Shirts.

Monday, I flew to Toronto. I spent the night at my friend Liam's, then I drove up to my parents in Pembroke.

My parents bought a new a new place. It's nice. about 40 acres of maple sugar lot, and 10 acres of clear land. The new house is nice as well.

My youngest brother drove up on Christmas. He's grown. He's 6'11'' and at least 325lbs. He's absolutly huge. We used to wrestle. I can't budge him now.

Funny explicit adult comic

I saw Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers today. It's a good movie. It's also a very full movie. Much happens with no explaination or setup. To follow it, you really have to had watched Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring.. Other than that, The Two Towers has many great special effects.

I get the feeling they are straying from the books. For a movie named "The Two Towers", the two towers are barely mentioned. For a series called "Lord of the Rings", the quest of the ring bearers is a minor sub plot

Afterwards, I had dinner with C2, The Texas Rose and Hellraiser. It went well. Was the usual routine-- dinner at Siams. Coffee at the Broadway Market, including reading Savange Love out loud. This weeks column was about sex with disabled people.

My brother wants to borrow $10 000 from me-- a down payment for a Transport Truck. I'll probably do it. I just want to run the numbers first and mull it over for a while. My brother is a Truck driver, and wants to do it on his own.

C2 has an in interesting story. C2 has been selling used wide format printers through a friend of his, Norm. Well, Norm vanished and still owes C2 $1400. C2 has been calling around trying to figure out where Norm is. He's dug up some interesting dirt. Apparently Norm was hanging out with a guy who is wanted in Brazil for sedition and murder. Right now C2 hopes that Norm is all right. Not dead, or in a Brazilian jail.

While the story sounds far fetched, Norm is a very colourfull man. He's from a very rich family and never has to work. So, he fills his time by finding trouble-- making porno's, hanging out with wild guys.

Work has kind of shut down. People are wandering from office to office, chatting and sharing gifts. This is why I don't quit. Too much free time. Too many cool people.

I'm having work issues. My job is boring me again and I end up goofing off a lot. I hope this doesn't bite me. Maybe I should hunt for another job. Why do I stay? I really like the people I work with. The pay is good. Management leaves me alone and lets me do what I want. It's hard to leave that behind. Maybe I should see a career councelor.

I just got back from Sunriver/Mt. Bachelor. It was a good weekend. I went with Officer Rob, his BF, and two of his friends.

Sunriver is a maze of a town. They use traffic circles instead of stop signs. The traffic circles are large and full of trees so you can't see through them and it's easy to get lost. You don't know if 4 or 5 streets meet at the circle. If you want to turn left, do you take the 3rd or the 4th off ramp?

The snowboarding was good. Plenty of snow.

One of officer Rob's friends is a Paramedic. Sunday night, Rob and the paramedic decided to trade funny suicide and death stories. It was disturbing and fascinating.

I usually travel with a GPS. When I do, I try to take waypoints of the places I sleep. I've got a long list now. I'm not sure where all of them are. I have to track them down.

Here are the ones I know....

Sunriver/Mt Bachelor... N 43:54.285 W 121:26.199

From Afica... Bulawo S 20:08.425 E 028:34.949 and Mutoko S 17:22.655 E 032:18.098 I'm not sure where the next two are. They are also in Africa, but I don't remember from where. I'll look them up sometime. Ruchar S 17:23.218 E 032:17.554 and Sett S 17:55.612 E 025:49.639

San Francisco... W 37:47.961 W 122:25.418

From Permerend in the Neterlands... N 52:29.981 E 004:58.984

I have to do this more often. I'm missing way-points from all sorts of interesting places.

I'm heading down to Mt. Bachelor to snowboard for the weekend. Officer Rob, his BF, and some friends of theirs are comming along. I tried to convince C2 to come, but he wouldn't. He's punishing himself for not having a real job. Right now he's in a dead-end shipping/receiving job. He wants a real career and won't let him self go on vacations until then.

I wonder about C2. He has a masters and he's a smart guy. But, even at the hight of the dot-com bubble, he was either unemployed, or working on grunt jobs.

I talked to my friend J from Toronto. All my straight Toronto friends are having their second babies. J&E had one about 6 months ago. J&G about 3 months ago. And now M is pregnant. My gay bachelor life is so different from theirs.

J and I also talked about my dating situation. I told her that I'm kind of tired of dating nice guys and becomming good friends with them. I have a lot of friends now. But no romance.

Now a whine I haven't told anyone; I think about Harry almost every day . I keep plotting ways I can get him spent time with him. I'm stuck in Bargaining The truth is, I'm tired of thinking about Harry. I want to forget about him. Unfortunatly he's the only Seattle single man I know who I have have romantic feelings for. Maybe Mr Right isn't in Seattle and I have to leave to be with him. But, I'm not there yet. I have a life here.

Bwahaha... Today I found out that I earn $20,000.00 more than Cor. I know it's petty, but it matters to the competative part of me.

How do I know? He neaded copy of his pay stub and didn't want to go to work. I showed him how to sign onto work, and where to find the pay stub information.

I've started using my blog to help balance my cheque book. I was looking over my bank statement and found a few withdrawls I didn't remember. I read over my blog for those days and found out where I was, what I was doing and what I bought.

The flu is going around. Steven's BF is sick. Cor is sick. Cor is leaving for 3 weeks of vacation-- China, Tibet, Japan. He's not looking forward to travelling sick.

Steven came over for dinner last night. We chatted, played video games, and made a joke poster for a friend of his. The poster is a 42''x38'' blow up of his friends face.

Played hockey tonight. We won 3-2.

Friday night I had dinner wtih C2, Derik, B and BigT, Bruce and C3. It was a plesent evening. The conversation was very good.

After dinner I ran into the Cuff and and ran into C6. I said "Hello Jake Austin. How are you?" (Jake Austin is C6's porn name) C6 immedialty blushed and started saying. "Barry. Shut up. Barry. Don't talk about Barry that. Barry. I didn't want to do it. That got me drunk and stoned, and made me do it." I had a good laugh at that. I can't imaging C6 not wanting to pose nude.

Saturday I bought a stream carpet-cleaner and steam cleaned my carpets. The whole processes confused Cor. Apparently he's never lived in a house with carpets before. At first he thought something was wrong because he socks kept getting wet. I had to explain to him that steam cleaning the carpets ment that they would be wet for a while.

Saturday evening, I had dinner with C5 and his partner James. It was a good evening although I'm kind of jealous of James and frustrated by C5. I really like C5. I met him about a year ago. C5 asked me out on a date. I said yes but was going away on vacation for 3 weeks so the date had to wait. When I got back, C5 didn't return my calls. I heard through the grape vine that he was dating someone else-- James. Eventually, I saw he and James out together and we started talking to each other again.

I always figured that James was about C5's age. C5 is 48. I used that as an excuse for letting C5 not date me. I assumed C5 would rather date someone his own age. Last night I found out that James is 36 and unemployed. That annoyed and frustrated me. I thought to myself "C5, why are you dating him? I have a job! I'm about the same age! I'm better looking!"

Aside from my issues, the evening was good.

I did something bad on the way home. I cruised a rest area. I didn't meet any one-- but I looked hard. The bars aren't working for me and I want to meet someone so badly. So, I figured I'd give the rest area a try.

Sunday morning I helped move Mathew and Sandy. Their new house is nice. Although the second floor is very short. Mathew and I can't stand up on the second floor. He calls it "Hobbit Sized."

I had dinner with Mathew and Sandy. They gave me some good gossip... C6 is doing porn! He's the December cover model for Butch Bear. Yep, that's him in the Santa cap. The next time I see C6, I'm going to slip and say "Hello Jake Austin. How are you?"

Cor is up to something. Last night he had me measure his chest, biceps and waist. He also asked me several times if I thought he was fat, or if he was attractive, or if he was sexy.

Frank from Vancouver was in Seattle on business. We had coffee in the afternoon. His schedule was too full to meet in the evening.

Steven asked me if I was intersted in Frank. If Frank put some effort into it, I'd date him, but he's playing it very cool.

I had my annual physical today. It looks good. My blood plateltes used to be low, but they've climbed back to normal.

Steven's boyfriend is sick. Steven is not really sure what's going on. His BF is in the navy, and was sailing down to San Diego. Last night, they air lifted his BF to a hospital. Steven doesn't know the details and is trying out find out more.

Played hockey last night. We won 4-3. I didn't play a great game, all 3 goals against went in while I was on the watch. Our goalie was to blame for 2 of the goals, but still it doesn't feel good.

Afterwards I went over to Ryan and Sandy's. They had a dinner party earlier on that I couldn't go to (cause of hockey) So, I droped by afterwards and had dessert and beer with them. This was the 1st time I've been to their place. Sandy has 4 persian cat's. They are very friendly and cute. But, they get hair everywhere.

Last Wednesday I had dinner with Mathew and Steven. About half way through dinner Mathew said, in his trade-mark, no-holds-barred style, that he doubted I would ever get married. I was too picky. I banged my head against the table. Steven defended me. He said I would get married, but hadn't found the right man yet. We had a good laugh over it.

Thursday C2 and I drove to Olympia and had Thanksgiving dinner with C2's family. He made it sound like his family is psychotic. They're not. The dinner was good. Oddly enough, a trama center nurse and a mortician were at the dinner. They could kill any conversation in two seconds flat.

Thursday evening C2 and I headed up to Timberline Lodge on Mt Hood for snowboarding. Unfortunatly there wasn't a lot of snow. One run was open. I boarded it in the morning. In the afternoon, C2 and I took the lift up, and then hiked down the hill. It was a beautiful sunny day.

We goofed around and read Friday evening. Saturday morning we headed back for home.

Saturday evening I had dinner with Steven and his partner. Afterwards we went to the Cuff.

C6...

Wednesday evening. C6's ex-wife left a weird message for C6, then drove off and abandoned their daughter. The daughter eventually called 911. She's ok but shaken. C6 is very uncertain. He wants to keep his daughter in the same school, but that means he has to work out living arragements for her.

C6 said he wants to talk about his situation, but also he's tired of talking about his situation. He's uncertain of himself. Both of his ex's have gone psycho. That makes it hard for him to trust anyone.

On Sunday C6's ex-wife left a message from him. She's at a hotel in Montana. C6 doesn't want to talk to her.

We had a 10:30 PM hockey game last night. Jen spent the evening at my place before we headed out to the game.

It ended up being a bad game. We lost 5-3. The team started arguing about half way through. Our goalie, who isn't that great, is kind mouthy. When the going got tough, he started swearing at the other players.

Bleah. Last night I chatted on the internet for too many hours. I do that every now and then just to get it out of my system.

Cor and Scott had dinner with Brent and Sean. Cor knows that I like Brent. When he came home, he told me to forget about Brent. Brent is very much in love with Sean.

Social Weekend Friday I had dinner with C2, Steven and G. Steven and G are great talkers, so the conversation was lively. In fact, Steven suggested that we start a gay talk show called "The Gay View"

Saturday morning, I worked with C3 on some large art work he's creating for a laywer. It's going to look good. All that's left to do is color calibrate and print out the work. It's going to be 4'' x 8''

Saturday afternoon, I went to C6's and watched the Apple Cup (College football. UW Huskey's vs WSU Cougers) The Huskies won 29-26 in triple overtime. It was a good game.

After football I went over the Steven's. His new room mate moved in. She's an old friend who has a five month old baby. He doesn't really want to have the baby, but his friend needs a place. She is recently divorced. She wants to move back to Virginia with family, but it's going to take a few months to tie up some loose ends.

Steven and I drove down to the Cuff and chatted with the gang.

Now Cor... Friday night Cor met a guy named Scott. I've known Scott for a couple of years. He's a friend of Harry. Cor ended up spending the night at Scott's (He told me so) Then the next morning, whiel C3 and I were working, he showed up with the guy he dumped last weekend. They went to Cor's bedroom and had sex (The computer room is next to Cor's room) Now last night, Cor slept over at Scott's.

Cor seams to like Scott, but I'm sure he'll find a reason to dump him in a few weeks.

Today my work team went to see Die Another Day. It's very James Bond. Lots of big stunts. Weak Plot. Fun movie.

Today I had lunch with the east side bears-- C2, Steven, Cor, G, T&J, Bruce and C3. It was good. Of couse Bruce and C3 arrived late-- about 40 minutes late.

I'm suprised how perceptive Steven is. He picked up some odd vibes from T about J about their new house. Later on he asked me about it. I told him that J lost his job about a month ago and the two moved into their new house last week. So T is a bit stressed and annoyed that he's the one paying for their house.

Last night I had a bunch of guys over for dinner... Cor, C2, Mathew, Sandy and two of the pb's. It was fun. We planned a trip to Mexico at the for the end of January.

Right now the two pb, Scott and Tom, are dating. I'm not sure how long that's going to last. Tom is clearly very in love with Scott, but he's also very controlling-- that's buging Scott.

In June Tom was in Seattle on vacation. He met Scott and fell for him. Shortly afterwards Tom moved here from Kentucky. Well, he was supposed to movie in with a friend and just date Scott, but the friend flaked out and Tom ended up moving in with Scott. Since then Tom has rented a room at another place, but he doesn't spend much time there.

Every time Tom mentioned that he and Scott here living together, Scott said "No we're not."

Lunch

My work-team go for lunch together almost every day. It's so predictable we don't even say "Would you like to go for lunch?" Instead, at noon someone stops outside your door and says "Blabbabaallal!

That was until today. Today, we switched to telepathy. At noon three of the guys stopped outside my door, said nothing and just staired at me. I got up and joined them. We walked to the last guys office, stood silently outside his door and staired at him. He got up and joined us. Then we went for lunch.

I napped a couple of times on Sunday. In the early evening, I went to a house warming party thrown by my ex manager. Most of the people there were work people.

Later on, I played hockey. We won 5-3. I had an ok game.

Monday was an busy day. After work, I met with a guy named Art. I'm ot sure what to make of Art. He runs this group call BTO that, well, provides an atmosphere for bisexual married men to meet and play with other bisexual married men. I am neither married, nor bisexual, but Art has been trying to get me to join the group for over a year. Today another guy and I met Art for a drink. He gave us the sales pitch for the group. The 3rd Thursday of every month they meet in a hotel. I'm not going to go but it was an interesting chat.

After Art, I had a date with Derik. He's a nice guy, but I'm not really attracted to him. We had dinner at "Bill's off Broadway".

After Derik, C3 came over to my house. A lawyer in NY has commisioned him to do some large images and art work. We played around with the scanner and printer to see what the source material would look like when magnified ten times. We got mixed results. The flat images scanned in very well. But, when we tried to scan in a weave, the scanner couldn't focus properly. The parts of the weave in contact with the glass were fine. The parts off of the glass were blury. C3 is going to try and find a scanner that can handle 3D source material. Either that or he's going to take a macro-shot with a regular camera. Then we can scan in the resulting photo.

Frustrating Saturday night. I went to the Cuff. Harry was there. We hung around and talked, but he ignored me physcally. It was so frustrating. I want to hold him and kiss him so badly.

I met another nice guy at the Cuff. I got his number. I'll give him a call and see what happens.

Friday was quiet. In the evening I had dinner with C2 and Derik.

After that I went to the Cuff for a while and said 'Hi' to the gang. My ex, Brian, was there. He's got a new boyfriend.

This morning I drove C2 to Tacoma to pick up his new car. It's a 1990 'Z' This is a big improvment for C2-- the old car was a 77 'Z' We talked about his wheeling and dealing... much of what C2 spends his money isn't store bought/above-the-table. One of his favorite places to eat has the nickname "The Illegal Taco Stand" It's a truck and trailor that pulls into local parking lots, puts out a sign and sells food. His mechanic operates out of two storage lockers at a U-Store-It. Most of his cloths are promotional items given away by companies to sell their products.

I'd like to learn how C2 gets all of his connections

Cor is stressing out. He called me this morning and told me he was dumping his current boyfriend He said he really wants to meet a good man and settle down. We joked about it for a bit. I told him couldn't really help but mabye C2 could. A while later he sent C2 and I this email...

---------
C2, Barry

HELP

I need a husband who :

1) Is intelligent, a Master degree will help. Foreign languages too.
2) Well traveled (been to at least 30 countries but not on Business trips). Like adventures.
3) Got a good job
4) Very good looking, latin or white
5) Masculine, to the point that I will not see anything gay in him
6) Good in bed (and outside of it too). A good size will help a lot. Has to be very sexual.
7) Live in the Seattle area
8) Able to love, care and move in
9) Good body, muscular and outdoor guy
10) Like to share a life, completely faithful.

I am tired to “break the hearts”. Two in a week is too much. Therefore I need someone close to above description. Enclose is one pic of mine a couple of weeks ago.

Do you know anyone?
---------

C2 and I had lunch together and had a good laugh over Cor's email. C2 and I have been single for years now. We'd be overjoyed if either of us could meet a man with half of Cor's criteria.

I think that Cor is about to learn a painfull lesson about being single. Part of me feels sorry for him. Part of me says "Join the club."

I had hockey practice last night. When I got home Cor had a new guy over. I guess his Las Vegas BF is out.

C2's friend Derik, the guy we had dinner with on Friday is persuing me. He sent C2 an email saying so. Derik and I are having dinner on Monday.

Oh yeah. Cor has dumped his Las Vegas boyfriend and is seeing someone new.

I played hockey last night. We lost 4-0.

Other than that I had a quiet Sunday.

When it rains, it pours...

One of C2's friends, the one C2 and I had dinner with on Friday, asked me out on a date. I haven't replied yet. The friend is a cute and nice guy, but it doesn't sit well with me. I've heard to much gossip about him. I'm trying to forget the gossip and just get to know him better. But, my mind isn't that easy to change.

Also C2 wants to introduce me to another guy-- Big T. Big T is my age and size.

Also, I heard from Harry again. We exchanged short "Hi how are you doing" emails. I really need to forget about Harry. However, he still makes my heart beat fast.

I think I'll say yes to the offer for dinner and then go from there.

Friday Evening I had dinner at Siam's with C2, Cor and two for C2's friends. It was a good dinner. The two friends were very much into the gay scene... trophy fucks... hanging out where the hot men are. After dinner C2 asked me what I thought of the two friends. We simultaniously said "Typical Capitol Hill fags." Capitol Hill is the gay area of Seattle.

I had a beer at the Cuff afterwards. I met a guy and gave him my number.

The guy called me at 3am in the morning.

Next morning, I called the guy and we agreed to get together that afternoon.

We did get together that afternoon, but it didn't go well. He's not good at giving directions and he's a bit dyslexic so it took two phone calls to clear things up. Also, he spent a lot of time talking about how cute I was and how he was so attracted to me, and how I was his perfect type and on and on. It felt uncomfortable.

I left his place around 5pm and went to Bruce and C3's (Yes, we are talking again) We had dinner there and then went to see Bowling For Columbine. It's a good documentary. It tries to answer the question "Why is the gun crime rate in America so much higher than anywhere else?" It comes up with a few possibilites though nothing concuslive. Overall I recommend the Bowling For Columbine. It's has much to think about.

This morning I had breakfast with Steve and his boyfriend. It was good to see them again. Steven mentioned that I'm becomming quite the social butterfly. That a lot of social things happen around me and because me. He also mentioned that there is a fair bit of good gossip about. People think I'm attractive and wonder why I'm still single. A good ego boost.

Had a social day yesterday.

Yesterday, I had lunch with the bears I work with... PG, Steven, C2, Bruce and a few other guys.

Afterwork, C6 and I went to the Snowboard Conneciton to get ready for the year. I bought new bindings and had my boards tuned. Chris bought boots and bindings.

Afterwards, C6, Officer Rob, R and I had dinner at the Six Arms and then went to the Cuff for beer.

The wax they used on my snowboards smells like cherry. My garage and my truck now smell of cherry.

Cor and I had an argument last night. I wasn't in a great mood to begin with. I had low energy from the flu, plus I was tired. Cor walked in on me using the computer and saw me surfing some... ehem... porn. Cor made a mean joke how he was glad it didn't work out between us because I'm nasty (Sexually) and he's a nice man. At that point, I lost control. I vented about the way he treats men, especially thouse who love him. I also snaped at him about the way his jokes are always mean. He insults me and then says "Just kidding."

We stopped talking at that point. Later on I apologized. I told him I didn't really mean it and that I was in a bad mood from the flu.

This morning he called me up and apologized. He said that I was right and that the reason he was mean to me was that he was a bit jealous of me. I was the only man he wanted that turned him down, so now at times he feels jealous and wants to cut me up. He also said I was right about the way he treats men. And he's going to try and change his ways.

We'll see. No harm done. Cor and I are still friends.

I had dinner with Mathew and Sandy tonight. Two of their friends, Shil and Wayne came a long. By the looks of things, I've become Mathew's and Sandy's "token single friend." The two of them have moved on to "Couple Friends" I think this is more of Sandy's doing than Mathew's. I don't hold it against them. I don't think they know they're doing it. But, it's happening.

Dinner was good. A bit pricy though. We ate at Duke's on Lake Union.

I've been back to the doctor. We did a bit more digging. It looks like I have an alergy to the toilet paper I used while I had the flu. Normally the alergy wouldn't matter, but I used so much TP while I had the flu that a nasty butt rash broke out. It's in control now.

I've spent the past two evenings at home, resting.

Cor bought a house. It's about a 10 minute drive from my place. It needs some rennovation, but other than that it's a good place. I don't think he'll move in till January.

My first day back at work. I was had a good day. I didn't goof off, so I ended up being more productive than I had been in weeks.

Well, I'm mostly better. I still get tired easily. I'm not eating like I used to. But, I'm up and around.. walking around the block.

Cor has found a house he really likes and he's going to put an offer in on it. We went to see it today. It's a nice house. With some work it will be a great house.

Afterwards we had lunch together. He told me his woes and worry's. His Los Vegas boyfriend is very bad with credit cards. He has six cards all maxed out-- around $10 000. Cor has told the BF that the BF has to show some progress in paying down the debt before Cor will let the BF move in with him. I half agree with him, half disagree. From a business standpoint it makes sense. But from a romantic, through-better-or-worse standpoint, it's cold and calculating. I hope I never have to make that kind of decision.

I've been flat-on-my-ass sick for the past two and a half days. I feel better now, though I'm still slighly weak and I've lost 10lbs.

Wednesday afternoon, I got chills and felt tired. I drove home and went to bed. For the next 24 hours I did nothing but sleep, run to the bathroom and drink water. Thursday evening Cor gave me some granola, yoghurt and juice. I ate bit of that. Friday at lunch I had a piece of toast on peanut butter. Finally last night I started to feel better. I had two bowls of soup before I went to bed.

I was supposed to go to a Wedding in L.A. Oh well. I'll mail them my present.

I had lunch with C5. He rolled is truck a few weeks ago and just got it back today. He's ok. His truck took $4800 of damage.

I wonder if C5 knows I have a crush on him? I think he noticed me watching his body. He's been dating a guy for about a year so I don't mention it.

I just found out he's 48. I didn't know that. I'm 32.

I played hockey last night. We won 4-2.

Reconciliation (Another lame Drama)

Bruce's birthday is on Halloween and C3 is throwing him a party. Now, Bruce and I haven't talked since the incident back in September. I think they want to invite me to the party, but are unsure how I'll react. C3 emailed me, asked me how things are going and said it would be good to spend time together. Bruce emailed C2 and asked C2 how he should invite me to the party.

C2 called me and asked me how I felt about Bruce. He's going to have coffee with Bruce and talk about friendship etiquette. My opinion is basically “I don’t care, if Bruce wants to be friends, then he can put some effort into it.” C2’s opinion is that even though I was originally in the wrong, Bruce’s reaction was way overblown and now Bruce owes me an apology.

Last night I went to a dinner party thrown by Steven and his boyfriend. Good crowd. One thing was weird Almost all of Steven's straight friends are blond, long-haired women-- there were at least eight.

The party was good. We talked till late.

Friday evening, C2, Cor and I had dinner together. Afterwards we went to R Place. I haven't been there in years. It's changed. It's much more of a mixed crowd. Cor went into full man hunting mode. Which is weird, cosidering that over dinner he was telling us how much he was in love with the guy Vegas.

C2 went home. Cor and I headed to the Cuff. I said 'Hi' to a lot of guys, drank beer and then went home. I don't know what happened to Cor. He didn't get home till 4 in the morning.

Cor's other husband, the guy from Boston, arrived today.

C6 and I spend the day together. He called me up in the morning. He drank more than he expected, so he left his car at the Cuff, and rode home with a friend. I picked him up and we had breakfast together with Officer Rob and R. From the sound of it R and Rob are moving intogether.

After breakfast we went to the snowsports show. C6 and I both bought new snowboards.

After than, the four of us saw Jackass: The Movie Another film that I enjoyed, but wouldn't recommend. It's a lot of extream juvinile humor. In one sequence, one of the guys sticks a toy car up his ass and then goes to his doctor to have it x-rayed. The doctor tries to give him genuine medicle advice unaware of the joke. If you like that sort of humor, you'll love Jackass. If not, avoid it.

Crap. I just heard back from Brent.

"Sean and I patched things up in New Orleans, it is going pretty well so far. Our next trip is to Las Vegas on Nov. 1 for the weekend, can't wait."

So once again, my list of men-I'd-love-to-date is full of unavailable men.

Tonight, Ryan, Jen & I saw Punch-Drunk Love. I'm not sure how to describe it. I enjoyed the movie, but I wouldn't recommend it. Punch-Drunk Love is very original. It's one of the few movies I've ever watched that made go "What the fuck?!?" which is amazing considering that much of it is a simple love story.

I had a hockey pratice last night. Nothing exciting. A good cardio workout. When I got home, Cor thought I had tanned because my face was still slightly red.

So, Cor's husband from Boston is flying into Seattle this weekend. Cor's new boyfriend from LV is also supposed to be in town. Last night Cor was laughing at his husband for trying to rescue their relationship. I tried very hard to not argue with Cor. I really don't want to be involved. At the flip side, Cor pushes my buttons. He brings out the cynic in me. I'm afraid that that I could fall for a guy like Cor who says all the right things, but really doesn't give a shit.

So, Cor is in love. He met a guy from Las Vegas. The guys is moving from LV to Seattle. They are buying a house together and want to adopt children. Cor was gloating when he told me this.

Last night was my first game of hockey for the winter session. We lost 5-1. (I got an assist. My plus minus was +1) This is going to be an interesting year. I’m a tier 3 player. My new team is tier 7. (Tier 1 being the highest skill level) I didn’t know the tiers went down that far. I thought they stopped at 4. Anyways, we still lost. In many ways I like this team better than my old team. There are a lot of new players who don’t take things so seriously.

The thing I don't like about the new team is the number of players-- we had 17. That's more than I'm used to-- three full lines. I can't remember the last time I played with three full lines. I'm used to two lines. My old team would only play 11 or 12 guys.

Last night was B's birthday. B is a straight friend I know through hockey. His girlfriend threw him a party. We had dinner at Typhoon and then went to "Theater Sports" -- improv comedy. It was very good, very funny. I'm going to go again.

Every now and then I'll mention that i have a list of five men that I'd marry in a heart beat. Four of the five are unavailable. One of the five, Brent, became single last August. I've had Brent's email address for a while. He didn't give it to me... a mutual friend once emailed both of us. I didn't really wanted to email him, in case I made me look like a stalker. I talked to Andy about it. He said one email isn't stalking and if I really was interested in him, then I should write.

On Saturday I decided to email Brent. Well, he responded back! He told me how things were going with him and asked me a few questions about my life. This is good. We'll see where it leads.

I hope this isn't another one of those "Barry is all hot to trot for a man at the very beginning, but it doesn't work out" stories.

Yeah John, the bastards at work do have my by the balls. Fortunatly (or unfortunatly) they pay me very very well. Even in this recession, work makes sure my pockets are lined and my bank account is fat. Some friends call it the golden nose ring.

We had a muscle bear dinner tonight at Beppo's. Some of the pb's had never been to Beppos, so I arranged a dinner. Well, the pb's flaked out. But, that didn't mater. Eighteen guys showed up. They had problems seating us.

I only knew about half of the guys. The rest were friends of friends.

There was a fair amount of gossip at the table. A number of the guys had slept with each other and I got to hear some stories.

We walked throught he bar on the way out. Someone at the bar watched us and said "What the fuck? Those are big guys. They going to beat the crap out of us?"

I'm pissed off. Indulge me while I swear a bit.

Fuck. Fuck. Mother Fucker. bastard. Fucker. Fuck.

Fuck.

Three things collided tonight...
1. C6 and I had a date.
2. At work we instituted a new policy where special customers can page us and make us jump through hoops to solve their problems.
3. The people at my work who are supposed to be working nights arn't sure about the policies and how to handle this customer.

C6 and I had just finished dinner and where about to have dessert. That's when I got a call. "Barry, can you help us? We're not sure what to do?"

So. I'm at work now, and C6 is driving home.

Fuck.

C2 and I went and saw The Transporter, a lame movie. The action was ok, but overdone. The plot was contrived and the dialog was laughable. I'm very serious about the laughable dialog. In the last half an hour, whenever a character said something, I would shake my head and laugh, it was dumb.

When the bad guy finaly dies, someone in the front row threw his arms up and cheared. The rest of the audience burst out laughing.

Afterwards we went to the Cuff for beer. Said hi to a few guys, and then headed for home.

My blog is now two years old. First post October 12th, 2000. To celebrate, I'm giving it a new look. It may be buggy for a few days. Apologies.

Tuesday evening I had dinner with Mathew, Sandy and Steven. It was fun. It was the first time that Steven met Mathew and Sandy. The three of them shared their drug stories. I'm kind of suprized at the number of people who do lite drugs like pot. Steven gave Sandy tips on smuggling pot to Hawaii-- Mat and Steven are headed to Mauii on Saturday and they didn't want to buy local.

After dinner I went over to Steven's house for a beer. He's having DSL trouble-- his computer connection is very slow. I tinkered a bit, and the speed improved, but it still isn't zippy. I'll dig some more in the future.

Last night I cleaned. I cleaned Cor's bathroom-- the first time it's been cleaned since he moved in. Bleah.

After I flew back, I spent Sunday evening at the Cuff. The PB's where there. They've all bought baseball caps with a "PB's" logo on it. They're going make me a "PB Protector" cap.

C6 and I are having dinner together, alone, this Thursday. I still don't know if it's a date.

I spent the weekend at Andy's place in WeHo. Andy's new boyfriend has moved in with him. I have reservations about the new BF. He's a recovering drug addict. He lies (Andy knows it) He's manipulative (Andy knows that too) Andy is just soo in love with the BF that he doesn't care. I hope Andy doesn't get hurt.

I'm back.

In Anaheim, I met a professional booth bunny. She calls hereself a professional crowd worker. She earns $700.00 a day plus T&E. In return you get a beautiful woman who learns the basics of your company. She talks about the company and it's products to everyone that walks by. She said that mostly she learns scripts and sales pitches and hands all the hard questions off to the real sales people. I saw her in action. She knows her stuff, she was demoing some tedious managment software, but sure enough about two dozen men were watching the demo. She was very smooth. I couldn't tell that it was all a script.

I'm still in Anaheim. Things are going good-- work in the day, party at night. I'm spending the weekend at Andy's, then I head back to Seattle on Sunday.

There are a good number of cute guys at the conference. It's weird, for the first time in a long time I'm lusting after men.

I'm away for a week-- going to Anaheim, CA for a conference. Back on the 13th.

So, I've had a work emergecy. In some obsure situations, a program that I'm resonsible for crashes. I poked and prodded at it for many hours on Monday and Tuesday. On Wednesday I spotted something that might have explained the crash. The solution was a long shot, but I couldn't see anything else, so I fixed that. Finally today, other people are saying that the fix worked and the crash has gone away. Whew.

Next week I'm heading out of town on a business trip. I'm glad I got the emergecy out of the way. I would have had to cancel my trip if I didn't solve the problem.

Last night, the dinner party went well. Eight People showed up. Sandy, Mathew, Cor, C6 and the four PB's. It was a bit cramped-- the dining room only seats six. Half of us ate in the living room. The remainder ate in the dining room. The conversation and company were good.

I didn't tell anyone-- I spent $100.00 on food. Most of it steaks. Sigh. One of the reasons I had dinner at my place was that I wanted to have an inexpensive evening. When Mathew, Sandy I go out for dinner, I can easily spend $50.00. Oh Well. Next time I'll make it a pot luck.

On the flip side, every one brought beer and wine. I have enough for the next six months.

The Little Dinner Party the Grew.

Mathew, Sandy and I have dinner together about once a week. This week I suggested we have dinner at my place. Mathew asked if he could invite 2 of the PB's and I said "Yes". The PB's are cute and there are 2 I would date in a minute.

Because I didn't want to snub anyone, I invited C2 and Cor. Then, C6 asked what I was up to this week and... well... a quiet dinner with with Mathew, Sandy and I has balooned into a dinner party for 10. Sigh.

So, why don't I ask the PB's out? Well, some of them are dating and some of them would never date a tall guy. The PB's are shorter than 5'6'' and suffer from little man syndrom. I'm 6'6''.

Last night I went out with the movie bears and saw Sweet Home Alabama. I didn't really like it. It's about a woman who leaves small town Alabama, moves to NY and builds a great new life for herself. Years later she returns to Alabama and remembers how much she loves the old home town.

I was born in small town Ontario (Ottawa Valley). One of the happest days of my life was when I left the Valley for the the big city. I travel back to the Valley about once a year. When I'm there I don't regret leaving. So, when I see a movie about someone returning to a rural town, well, I don't understand. People leave small towns for good reasons-- career, something to do at night other than drink and watch TV, it's easier to make good friends in a large city. Those reasons never go away.

I goofed off last night and watched Lord of the Rings. It's a good movie although I don't think it's the all time classic that people say.

For the past few days I've had a work emergency. I've been under the gun to solve a problem. I think I've got it fixed. We'll see. My solution goes out to a large number of people tomorrow.

I had dinner with Cor last night. He's got 2 boyfriends now and tricked with a 3rd guy over the weekend. He was kind of annoyed that the 3rd guy could pressure him into having sex. I don't understand Cor at all. I just smile and nod.

Wow. My journal is now 2 years old. I think I should give it a new look to celebrate.

At the beginning over every month I go over that month's entries for the previous year. I now have two years of history to read over. It interesting how when I look forward, I think I'm going to be bored and have nothing to do. But when I look back, I've done so much.

I've been busy lately.

Friday night, C2 and I had dinner at Siams.

Saturday, C2, Mathew, Sandy and two of the PB's went camping at at Lake Cushman. It was fun; sunny and warm on Saturday, sunny and cool and Sunday.

Saturday C2 and I hiked around the Stair Case Rapids. The rest of the guys went boating. Originally, C2 and were going to boat with the others, but when C2 saw the "Bridge Out-- Trail Closed" sign for the Stair Case Rapids, it became a challenge. We had do do the trail and cross the rapids, even if there wasn't a bridge.

We managed-- jumping from rocks fallen trees. The river was so low that it wouldn't cause too many problems even if we fell in.

Sunday morning C2 drove back early to spend the day with his parents. The rest of us hiked along Lake Cushman. It was beautful and weird. Lake Cushman is an artifical lake formed in the 1930's. Right now the lake is low enough that you can see the thousands of tree stumps that line the bottom of the lake. The trees were big-- five to ten feet in diameter.

Quiet evening. C6 and I have been emailing each other. This weekend he's heading down to the Folsom Street Fair in S.F.

I'm of two minds when in comes to C6. He's a handsome man and he seams to be attracted to me. At the same time, he's a big partier. He goes to the Folsom Street Fair SF. The White Party in Palm Springs, Southern Decadance in Orleans. I lead a much more quiet life. I do a lot, but I'm not very involved in the gay life.

I'll just take it easy and get to know him better.

Hmmm. They are cleaning out Larry's office.

I worked with Larry for 4 years. About 6 months ago he vanished. About 3 months ago I ran into him on the street. he said that the stress of work was affecting his heatlh, so he took some time off to recuperate. He had a cold for a few months that wouldn't go away. A few weeks later he was back at work. Then a week later he vanished again.

Today an admin is cleaning out his office. She is not even bothering to seperate out his personal stuff. I wonder what happened. He was living a very hard life. I know his girlfriend and he were doing a fair amount of drugs. I hope he's ok

I went up to Vancouver for the weekend to meet a guy, Frank. A while back, Steve introduced Frank and I. We both work for the same company. We had dinner together and I spent the night at his place. We had breakfast with some of his friends and then went rollar blading in the afternoon.

Downtown Vancouver is a beautiful city.

Frank is into cars and motor cycles. He races his Mustang a few times a month. His Mustang has lots of custom modifcations.

We'll see what happens between Frank and I. Vancouver is 3 hours away. I wonder if he will spend a weekend down here.

I helped Steven move into his new town house. He now has a great place about 10 minutes from where I live. This is cool. We'll be able to hang out more often.

I met his real-estate agent. She is a nice woman, but very Bellevue Blond. Bellevue Blonds are beautiful, attractive, career driven women. They may earn six figures, but in Bellevue, every one earns six figures and ordinary town houses start at $250,000.00. So, they still have to work their asses off to keep up.

I also met his neighbor. He's a 24yo party boy. Steve and I suspect his daddy bought him the townhouse. He's 24yo and going to school. There is no way he can affort his townhouse.

Now I look at my place, and I'm kind of jealous of Steve. Steve says all I really need is a boyfriend who can decorate.

Yesterday was a very Mexican food kind of day. I had lunch with C2 and Cor at Azteca. After work I had drinks and finger food with some workmates at Mi Casa. Later I had dinner with Mathew and Sandy at Z'Tajas.

Bleah. I'm eating too much food and not exercising enough. I now have a small pot belly. I have to watch it and not let it get bigger.

Mathew and Sandy are doing ok. Mathew wants to come to Vancouver with Sandy and I, but it looks like there is a money issue. One of his customers hasn't paid him yet so things are tight.

Cor's husband is here from Boston. Cor is also seeing another guy, so he told me that if anyone asks, he's out of town on business. Cor also mentioned that he's taking his husband to some of Seattle's Bars. The bar's he mentioned are the bars he normally stays away from. I guess he doesn't want his husband to find out that everyone at the Cuff knows him.

Things I didn't want to know...

Cor uses my computer-- it has a good monitor and a fast conneciton. I have no issues with him using it. In fact, I gave him his own account so he has a bit of privacy from my prying eyes.

Today, next to the computer, I found an empty packet of lube.

Hmm. I don't know what happened between C6 and I. We had dinner. We went to bearaoke. We flirted a lot. I still don't know if it was a date, or a just friends thing.

Although, he did ask me to email him.

I've been working a lot over the past couple of days.

Out of the blue, C6 called me up and asked me out for dinner. We are meeting at Angelino's and afterwards going to bearaoke at Guppie's. I don't know if this is a date thing or a friend thing

Yesterday was Roger's birthday. Who is Roger? He's a fairly popular bear who lives in Olympia. Although it's not his day job, he's done a few pornos. He has a lot of friends. He throws big parties birthday parties.

Olympia is about 90 minutes from here, so C2 and I made a day trip of it.

We started off by visting the Museum of Glass in Tacoma. Nice building. Lame museum. All of the interesting work was outside. We paid to get in and then... There is very little art on the inside. There is a working glass hot-shop.

In the middle of the gallery (There was only one room) a band, or performance art group, or something, was performing. They were pouring and dropping water into various containers. Many people were standing around, listening intently. After about 10 minutes, the band stopped and a lot of people applauded. C2 rolled his eyeballs and said "Dear Lord!"

I guess neither C2 nor I will be paitrons of the arts.

After the Museum of glass, we drove along the South Sound to Olympia. We stopped off at a couple of State Parks and walked around. There are many-many nice houses along the waterfront. Rumor is that Bill Gates has a house along the South Sound. We couldn't figure out which one though.

Had dinner in Olympia-- a seafood feast that came with bibs. We used the bibs. Eating crab is messy.

At about 9pm we reached Roger's. Roger was very glad to see me. We have a fair amount in common-- we both grew up in the middle of no where to very religious parents. We now both work in the high-tech industry. Also, since I won't sleep with him, I might be a bit of a challenge for him. Anyways, it was nice to see Roger again.

There were a lot of guys at the party. I tried chatting up a couple of nice-guys but nothing worked out. One wasn't interested in me. The other started having sex with someone else.

The sex... well... there wasn't a lot of sex. There were a few groups getting it on. Most of the guys were just talking and drinking.

At about midnight, the talking&drinking people were leaving and the sex people were staying, so C2 and I left for home.

Before dinner last night I talked with C2. When I mentioned that Bruce broke off our friendship, C2 was a confused and suprised. I told C2 why Bruce ended the friendship-- because I joke-slapped him. At first C2 didn't remember the slap. When I told him the events leading up to the slap, he said "Oh yeah. I remember that. That was it?" C2 also commented that Bruce keeps cutting himself off from his friends.

So, C2, Cor, Mathew, Sandy and I dinner together. Mathew, Sandy and I decided to go to Vancouver next weekend. C2 may come.

Afterwards we went to the Cuff. Said hello to the crowd. Drank a bit and then went our seperate ways.

Stupid Friendships.

Thursday at noon I dropped by Bruce's office to see if he wanted to have lunch. He was very short with me, said he was busy and couldn't make it to lunch. When I got back, I had this piece of email...

----- Original Message -----
From: Bruce
To: BC

BC,
I am not happy about the events on Tuesday night so I think we have to take a break from each other for awhile.

This kind of confused me. A bit later I got this message from C3...

----- Original Message -----
From: C3
To: BC

Hey BC,
Thank you for taking the time to send me these pictures, they look really great.
It was nice to have you at my party, and to spend some more time with you.
I need to tell you something as a friend, and as Bruce's partner.
You hitting Bruce on the head, was and is, completely inappropriate.
You not only ruined the party for him, you hurt him physically as well.
I don't know what you thought you were doing, but I do know that
an explanation to him and apology is in order.

C3

Did I hit Bruce on the head? Yes, I slapped him. It wasn't very hard, Bruce didn't say 'ow' or stop me or back away. There were no marks. In fact, he laughed.

This is what I wrote Mathew about the incident...

Last Tuesday was C3's birthday. The restaurant that
Bruce brought us to has really great desserts, Even so, Bruce brought a big
birthday cake. Well, during cake Bruce and I were talking and I
mentioned that I would have rather had the Tiramisu (Selfish of me, I know)
Bruce loudly shouted "C3, Barry isn't happy with your party." I
really didn't want everyone to know about my Tiramisu thing, so I jokingly
slapped Bruce. I don't know how hard I really slapped Bruce. In hind-site it
may have been to hard.

The party continued on from there. I though everything went fine. Bruce
and I talked and joked a bit more. At the end of the night I hugged Bruce
and Chris good bye and then went home.

I've send Bruce an apology and an explanation.

Now I'm tired. I really don't care that Bruce isn't talking to me.
I'm annoyed that Bruce couldn't tell me directly how he felt.
I'm also annoyed that he waited two days to get C3 to tell me.

Mathew is surprised that I apologized. Especially since Bruce didn't confront me about it and instead broke off our friendship. If you are annoyed with someone, you say so. You don't harbor a grudge, wait a few days, end the friendship and get your parter to deliver the message.

Tonight I'm having dinner with C2. We'll see what he thinks. He was next to me Tuesday night, saw everything and has good judgement. Mathew and I can sometimes be insenstive. C2 will be blunt and honest.

Last night C2 and I went to a 9-11 memorial service. It was a good service.

Afterwards we had cake at Dilettante's. C2 drove home and I had a beer at the Cuff.

At the Cuff I talked to Officer Robert. Lately I've been thinking about getting a motorcycle. Every time I do this, I hear about a horrible accent and I put the decision off for six months. Well, Officer Rob told me about two accidents. His parnter was driving pursuit-style (Really Really Fast) took a bad corner, skidded out, and will be in the hospital for six weeks.

Rob also told me about an 18yo who on Tuesday night was driving a motorcycle at 140 mph on the Alaskan Way Viaduct. He hit a cement pillar. Rob said most of the body came out through the face mask.

He told me a lot more, but I don't want to remember the details.

Anyways. I'm not going to buy a motorcycle this year.

Sometimes at work I surf the web until I'm bored. So bored that real work is less boring. Only then do I stop surfing the web and become productive.

Last night was C3's birthday. We had dinner at Beppo's.

When I ask C2 "when is your birthday?", he always evades the question. At Beppo's, C2 was short on pocket space. He gave me his wallet and keys so he wouldn't lose them. Of course I opened up his wallet, pulled out his drivers License and read his birth date. He saw me do it. Afterwards he said that was clever and evil.

C3's birthday was fun. Unfortunately, Bruce and C3 brought a birthday cake in from an outside bakery. Normally that wouldn't be bad, but the only reason to go to Beppo's is for the desserts. Beppo's service is slow. The food is mediocre and over priced. But, the desserts are incredible. They have great Tiramisu. So when Bruce brought a birthday cake, it was disappointing

C2 has had a weird sort of internet date. He met the guy on the net. For several days the two were exchanging long and personal emails. Then C2 asked “So, since you only broke up with you ex 3 months ago, are you sure you are over him?”

They guy replied “You know, my ex just called last Saturday. And I do kind of miss him. I guess I should try and work things out with him before I see you. Sorry about that.”

C2 has had a good laugh about that. In the space of a week, he’s gone from a quick email romance, to a fast email dump.

Friday night I had dinner with C3 and to of his friends, J & K. In a weird coincedence, J & K just met the previous week and had a date on Thursday.

After dinner, I went out, and well, I actually went home with a guy. I like him. I'm not sure things will work out, but we have exchange email since then.

Saturday night I went to Ryan and Jen's Alcohol party. That idea was that you had to bring food based on alcohol. I made beer can chicken. You open up a beer can, and stick it in a chicken and then BBQ it that way. As the beer evaporates, it moistens the chicken.

There were a lot of good desserts there-- chocolate rum cake, tiramisu.

Ryan, Kam and I are trying to figure out what to do about hockey. Jen said I could play with her team, but I'd like to stick with Ryan and Kam. They will play more competative. But we need 13 people for a team. Right now we only know of 8 or 9 guys that are vailable.

Sunday night we had a "Three's Company" moment. Cor has a partner nicked-named Possum, who lives in Boston. The two of them were married in Vermont. Because of Cor's not an American (he's here on a work visa and can only work on certain jobs) they haven't been able to live together for the past three years. They still call each other frequently and Cor is planning to one day move back in with Possum

Before we started cooking, Cor talked to Possum on a cell phone. While we were cooking, Cor and I talked about our future plans and about his situation with Possum. Cor said that even though he sleeps around a lot, Possum anchors him. He wants to one day live with Possum.But for now he feels it's all right to sleep around. He doesn't think that Possum has ever slept around.

When we sat down for dinner, Cor looked at his cell phone-- it was connected. He put it up to his ear and said "Hello." Then Cor's eyes started to buldge. The cell phone was still connected to Possum. Possum heard everything Cor and I said while we were in the kitchen.

After a few minutes of awkward conversation, Cor turned his cell phone off. He is shocked that Possum now know everything.

We'll see what happens.