Yesterday evening was my retirement party. A coworker was kind enough to host. 

It went very well. Most of the attendees were from my current company. There were a few from the old. It was nice to catch up with them. 

The celebration of life was wonderful. The guests have departed. The house is one-again quiet.

My husband and his brother did a fantastic job organizing the weekend. 

They put a lot of effort into making everything run smoothly. They are both exhausted and need some well-deserved rest.

The weekend was split into two main gatherings interspersed by smaller get-togethers with different groups of friends and family. Sunday morning, was the formal celebration. This service was attended by many people, including residents from my mother-in-law's retirement community.

In the afternoon we rented boat and a smaller group of close acquaintances took her ashes out onto the lake for a final farewell. Earlier, my husband placed her ashes into a biodegradable urn. Once the boat reached the middle of the lake, he set the urn into the water. We all watched as it floated for a few minutes before sinking. The moment brought a few tears, followed by a quiet family hug as we all said our final goodbyes.

Sunday is my mother-in-law’s celebration of life. My husband and my brother-in-law are working hard on its preparations. 

The event is weighing on my husband. Between writing a eulogy and preparing his mother’s ashes— spooning off some into vials for her grandkids, I can see he feels blue. 

Family is flying in for the celebration. We are hosting a few. They are sharing old stories, chewing over past. The fights. The good times and the bad. The divorces and the relationships that lasted. 

"Remember how Grandma saw and heard apparitions and thought she was a mystic connected to the spirit realm. I was in amazed when I was a kid... Now I think it was Lewy body dementia." 

Monday and Tuesday my leads and I were in San Francisco training up my replacement. It went well. He is smart and curious. 

One of my guys joked that I am in my lame duck phase. I had a good laugh. 

Work finally feels like it’s winding down. I’ve encouraged my team to think through their parting requests. What conversations do they wish someone would have but won’t because it’s career limiting? What do they want to blame me for when I’m gone? I’ve been through enough reorgs to learn that you can hide a mistake every time management changes. You can’t hide too many mistakes because that looks like excuses and finger pointing. But one well chosen mistake… go for it

“This project is coming in late because the old boss didn’t put resources on it quickly enough.” No one would know the truth. 

We’ve been in Calgary since Friday and are now on our way back home.

Friday evening, we had dinner with my friend SJ who coincidentally was here on business. 

Saturday, we went on a long ebike ride along the river. In the evening we had dinner with our friends A&D. 

Athabaska Glacier

Today we hiked the Athabaska glacier. The sense of scale doesn’t come accross in the photos. Everything is enormous. If you zoom in, you will see little black flecks on the glacier. These are people. 

Sulphur Mountain

Banff

The rain has let up so we have been exploring Banff. The view is glorious. 

My sister in law may have pushed herself too hard yesterday. She is stiff and sore today. Hopefully this will go away over the day. 

Johnston Canyon

My sister in law is recovering well! She can go to the bathroom again and, with some assistance, walk.

Things are going well for us in Banff. Despite the rain, there are many things to do. My husband has been catching up with his coworkers. 

My sister in law is recovering. It will be a few days before we know how well. She has a fever and a UTI that are now under control. Sensation has returned to the parts of her body that were previously numb.

My brother is very frustrated and angry at the medical system around him. I’m not sure how to read this. Anger and frustration have always been his main tools for dealing with disagreement. He has not learnt the arts of navigating and negotiating in complex situations. My sister in law may be getting the care she needs. Or she may be in a system that is overtaxed. 

I shut up about my situation. My husband and I are being spoiled in Banff. We listen to my brother vent and try to help him understand the process that’s going on around them. They may both be expecting rapid recovery, though the reality is that recovery will take weeks. It’s not easy to coach patience when she spends every waking minute in pain.