It's been a week of smaller celebrations— Tuesday with my brother-in-law, Wednesday with Clem and Bates, Friday with my old boss, Saturday with my husband's old boss, and Sunday with our travel friends, WS & PT.
Today, I've had my last meetings. My access to work has been revoked. My laptop is at the courier. My retirement is now in full effect.
The final dates are clear. My husband retires July 3. My last day is July 6.
Both of our jobs are winding down. Soon my husband’s corporate car will be reclaimed. I’m arranging the return of my company property.
Many of our calls start with someone asking “Will this be the last time we talk?”
Even with my impending retirement, I must stay close to a laptop or cell phone. For decades, as part of my job, I've always been in some form of on-call. In my prior job, managers will told that overnight, their phones had to be in a charger and on their bed side table. It's a little different at the current company, but not much.
Turning off my cell phone... disconnecting from the internet...these are things that I crave. I'm not going to do a internet-detox, but I do want disconnect from time to time. I don't want to check my cell first thing in the morning.
Sunday is my mother-in-law’s celebration of life. My husband and my brother-in-law are working hard on its preparations.
The event is weighing on my husband. Between writing a eulogy and preparing his mother’s ashes— spooning off some into vials for her grandkids, I can see he feels blue.
Family is flying in for the celebration. We are hosting a few. They are sharing old stories, chewing over past. The fights. The good times and the bad. The divorces and the relationships that lasted.
"Remember how Grandma saw and heard apparitions and thought she was a mystic connected to the spirit realm. I was in amazed when I was a kid... Now I think it was Lewy body dementia."
Monday and Tuesday my leads and I were in San Francisco training up my replacement. It went well. He is smart and curious.
One of my guys joked that I am in my lame duck phase. I had a good laugh.
Work finally feels like it’s winding down. I’ve encouraged my team to think through their parting requests. What conversations do they wish someone would have but won’t because it’s career limiting? What do they want to blame me for when I’m gone? I’ve been through enough reorgs to learn that you can hide a mistake every time management changes. You can’t hide too many mistakes because that looks like excuses and finger pointing. But one well chosen mistake… go for it
“This project is coming in late because the old boss didn’t put resources on it quickly enough.” No one would know the truth.
My sister in law is recovering. It will be a few days before we know how well. She has a fever and a UTI that are now under control. Sensation has returned to the parts of her body that were previously numb.
My brother is very frustrated and angry at the medical system around him. I’m not sure how to read this. Anger and frustration have always been his main tools for dealing with disagreement. He has not learnt the arts of navigating and negotiating in complex situations. My sister in law may be getting the care she needs. Or she may be in a system that is overtaxed.
I shut up about my situation. My husband and I are being spoiled in Banff. We listen to my brother vent and try to help him understand the process that’s going on around them. They may both be expecting rapid recovery, though the reality is that recovery will take weeks. It’s not easy to coach patience when she spends every waking minute in pain.
My middle brother’s wife has had a turn for the worse. She had a surgery to remove a cyst that was along her spine. A day after she was discharged from the hospital, she started to regress. They ended up life-flighting her back to the hospital. An MRI revealed a blood clot and pressure buildup in her spine. She had an emergency surgery overnight and is now recovering.
