An old friend is staying at our place for a few days. He was one of my first roommates in University. 

It's good to catch up with him. We've been reminiscing and texting our old roommates. Were we as messy as we recall? Were we as impulsive with our major life decisions as it now seems?

My friend and I both started in STEM programs. Over time my friend became disillusioned with life in the corporate world. He became an activist. He first started volunteering for and later creating charities in Central and South America. He now leads a large NGO in Nicaragua. I've always admired his morals and ethics. But why Nicaragua? Even he doesn't have a great answer for that. He saw a need. He had the skills and time. So he made the choice. 

Gorgeous day today. I walked the dogs with my brother-in-law, went for a bike ride and read for a while. 

My husband is flying off to Alaska for his last work trip before we retire.

The weather has become pleasant in Seattle. The soil is now warm enough to plant the dahlia tubers that we acquired a few weeks ago. 

On social media there is "Free stuff" group for our neighborhood. About a month ago we asked if anyone had extra dahlia tubers. Within a couple days we received a garbage bag full of them. A pleasant surprise. They still need to be inspected and trimmed, but I'm looking forward to growing them, What type of dahlia are they? 

My mother-in-law's celebration of life is in about a month. Prior to his trouble with the law, our friend and his husband planned to attend.  We are wondering if they will follow through. My husband and I have discussed with with various AIs ("Act as if your are Miss Manors..." "Act as if you are Dear Abby...") they agree... We should un-invite our friend. Be kind but firm. Our priority is to the mourners and to minimize drama. 

I think (I hope) our friend's trouble is limited to the state level. 

My husband has gone down a social media rabbit hole. The video of the sting has 75K views. There are many videos of other stings in that channel. The channel owner appears to be working with the police. 

I am more detached. Our friend has made bad choices and now has poor options. Like other situations where I’ve observed addictive behavior, I struggle to understand why he went down that path. Don't do stupid things. Why is that so hard to learn?

That's easy for me to say. My life is littered with the debris of stupid choices. 

A friend of ours has got himself into much trouble. The police sting was posted on social media. He was named and shamed. If the case is as clear as it's been presented, then he could go to jail for a while.

My husband is frustrated and angry at this friend. Rightfully so. He ran a family business. Many people, including other family members, depend on him for their jobs. Our friend could also be very impulsive and has a long history of drug fueled meltdowns. 

We are close to the friend's husband and some of the extended family. We've reached out to them to offer whatever help we can.

Social weekend. My husband remarked that we had too much scheduled and not enough downtime.  It was warm and sunny over the weekend and our different friends wanted to meet up before the gray and rain returns. 

Retirement from work is proceeding. I've started screening resumes for my replacement. Interviews start next week. 

My husband asked if I was worried about having something purposeful to do after we retired. I quickly said no. Maybe I am a little worried about meaning and purpose. I won't be bored however. I have a craving to shut my cell phone off and disconnect for days. While that's not meaning or purpose, it's a sign that I am too over connected. Work always has something to review, approve, or check in on.

Why stay? In June, I will receive a healthy amount of deferred compensation. So I will stick to my plan of leaving by end of June.

The weather has been wonderful this weekend. We’ve been catching up with friends. 

We had brunch with Huff and C2. C2 has opened an investment account for baby H. C2 wanted to get together to go over the instructions on how to deposit, check in on the account, as well as the limitations on withdrawals. We are hoping that in 20 years this account will be enough to fund her college education or a down payment on a home. 

The week has become more chaotic. I told an associate "I'm past concern. This is all hilarious."

The story so far... in March I told my new and old manager that I'm retiring at the end of June.

Last week,  my peer director accepted a job elsewhere and is leaving at the end of this week.

Wednesday morning, my former boss (AS) was let go.  

Our vice president (TA) is leaving at the end of this week. Rumor is that he was asked to leave.

I still care about the team, our technology and our business. I want to project some stability. I don't want to unintentionally encourage everyone to abandon ship. When I was talking to an associate about this conundrum, he responded that all the rats are scurrying off the ship. How could they conclude anything else? 

The endless re-orging of our company continues. AS has been let go. AS was the boss I lost about a month ago due to the the prior reorg-- not the former boss who is doing the start-up. I have so many former bosses. 

AS and I talked over the phone. He was let go while on paternity leave. Apparently another reorg is in the works.  The role he was to have after returning from leave has gone away.  Financially, they will pay him to the end of his paternity leave and then pay him an additional departure package. 

I'm a little jealous. I want to be laid off. Watching this happen around me is like seeing a car crash in slow motion. 

This past weekend we attended the North Coast Roundup, an AA conference in Seaside. We rented a house with a few friends. Overall it was a good weekend. 

Our friend QJ caught us up on his life. He's been off work with back pain and has had a series of surgeries to address the issue. He is better now and will soon return to work. We asked QJ what caused the injury.  He told us that he played much football in high school and  college. That was hard on his body. Over the years he's had sixteen surgeries to repair the consequences. 

The weather on the coast was wonderful, especially for April. Outside of the conference, we did much hiking and walking. 

The conference has a mix of AA and Al-Anon speakers. I enjoy the Al-Anon speakers. Less so, the AA. The thought of heavy daily drinking makes my stomach churn, so I struggle to understand what drives someone to do so. I do not have that addiction.

While I have no problems staying sober,  many of my friends are in AA. There is something there for me to continue to explore. 

At work, my peer director is also leaving. Her last day is the end of next week. Our mutual boss has also not been talking to her. Part of me wants to negotiate hard to have them pay me to stay an extra year. The other part of me, the more thoughtful part, thinks this is confirmation that it's time to leave. 

My husband is recovering well. He gets tired easily and has some pain, but nothing unexpected.

This past weekend was Seattle's first nice spring weather. We spent much of Saturday cleaning up our decks and yard-- washing off the algae, pollen and mildew, blowing leaves, replanting some pots. 

Sunday we hosted a large easter brunch. It went well, plenty of good food. Most of the attendees were from AA. My husband has done a great job fostering his friends there .

Work... work is interesting. Since the reorg (a month ago?) the our boss has not talked to me or my peers at all. He remains fully engaged with his old org. My peers are not sure how to take this. Since I'm retiring, I shrug my shoulders and am just carrying on. 

I don't know that my boss is following up on my retirement. He acknowledged that I'm retiring when I initially told him, so he knows that I'm retiring. But then... silence. 

Even if I wasn't retiring, I would feel it was time to leave the company. 

Next topic-- I've been mulling over the following for a while. Originally I wasn't going to write about it. But it's sticking with me, so I will blog it out.

Yesterday my husband had liposuction and a tummy tuck. I'm surprised by my feelings around this. For years, my husband has worked hard to successfully get his weight (and stomach) into control. This last part of getting rid of the flappy skin was important to him.  I've never found him unattractive through this. 

I've discovered I have a slight aversion to cosmetic surgery. There are so many things one could do with the money instead. Plus the changes are superficial-- one still must have proper exercise and diet afterwards. 

I'm trying to set that aside and to cheerfully support him through his recovery. It was important to him. He had the money. 

He is doing well

 My question would be, "What is the alternative to the start-up?" And would it be as fuffilling?

The alternative to the startup is to retire-- travel, family, personal projects, volunteering, camping, hiking bicycling, reading.

The startup is interesting in that it uses the part of my brain that I have developed over years through my career. And there are parts of that job that I enjoy. 

I have a new option ahead. Saturday evening we had dinner with my old boss. He is building a startup company and quizzed me on my interest. 

He knows how to make startups happen as he has built and sold them before. He also has some interested from venture capital and is talking to a few people who I respect. 

We had a good discussion. No promises. Just mutual interest.

The next morning my husband and I had a conversation on this. Me potentially doing a startup would be a big impact on our retirement. My interest is a little unsettling.

Sunday we hosted a retirement party for my husband's friend and AA sponsor. After she retires, she is leaving Seattle and moving back to the midwest to be with her family. My husband will miss her. She was a good person.