This past weekend we attended the North Coast Roundup, an AA conference in Seaside. We rented a house with a few friends. Overall it was a good weekend. 

Our friend QJ caught us up on his life. He's been off work with back pain and has had a series of surgeries to address the issue. He is better now and will soon return to work. We asked QJ what caused the injury.  He told us that he played much football in high school and  college. That was hard on his body. Over the years he's had sixteen surgeries to repair the consequences. 

The weather on the coast was wonderful, especially for April. Outside of the conference, we did much hiking and walking. 

The conference has a mix of AA and Al-Anon speakers. I enjoy the Al-Anon speakers. Less so, the AA. The thought of heavy daily drinking makes my stomach churn, so I struggle to understand what drives someone to do so. I do not have that addiction.

While I have no problems staying sober,  many of my friends are in AA. There is something there for me to continue to explore. 

At work, my peer director is also leaving. Her last day is the end of next week. Our mutual boss has also not been talking to her. Part of me wants to negotiate hard to have them pay me to stay an extra year. The other part of me, the more thoughtful part, thinks this is confirmation that it's time to leave. 

My husband is recovering well. He gets tired easily and has some pain, but nothing unexpected.

This past weekend was Seattle's first nice spring weather. We spent much of Saturday cleaning up our decks and yard-- washing off the algae, pollen and mildew, blowing leaves, replanting some pots. 

Sunday we hosted a large easter brunch. It went well, plenty of good food. Most of the attendees were from AA. My husband has done a great job fostering his friends there .

Work... work is interesting. Since the reorg (a month ago?) the our boss has not talked to me or my peers at all. He remains fully engaged with his old org. My peers are not sure how to take this. Since I'm retiring, I shrug my shoulders and am just carrying on. 

I don't know that my boss is following up on my retirement. He acknowledged that I'm retiring when I initially told him, so he knows that I'm retiring. But then... silence. 

Even if I wasn't retiring, I would feel it was time to leave the company. 

Next topic-- I've been mulling over the following for a while. Originally I wasn't going to write about it. But it's sticking with me, so I will blog it out.

Yesterday my husband had liposuction and a tummy tuck. I'm surprised by my feelings around this. For years, my husband has worked hard to successfully get his weight (and stomach) into control. This last part of getting rid of the flappy skin was important to him.  I've never found him unattractive through this. 

I've discovered I have a slight aversion to cosmetic surgery. There are so many things one could do with the money instead. Plus the changes are superficial-- one still must have proper exercise and diet afterwards. 

I'm trying to set that aside and to cheerfully support him through his recovery. It was important to him. He had the money. 

He is doing well

 My question would be, "What is the alternative to the start-up?" And would it be as fuffilling?

The alternative to the startup is to retire-- travel, family, personal projects, volunteering, camping, hiking bicycling, reading.

The startup is interesting in that it uses the part of my brain that I have developed over years through my career. And there are parts of that job that I enjoy. 

I have a new option ahead. Saturday evening we had dinner with my old boss. He is building a startup company and quizzed me on my interest. 

He knows how to make startups happen as he has built and sold them before. He also has some interested from venture capital and is talking to a few people who I respect. 

We had a good discussion. No promises. Just mutual interest.

The next morning my husband and I had a conversation on this. Me potentially doing a startup would be a big impact on our retirement. My interest is a little unsettling.

Sunday we hosted a retirement party for my husband's friend and AA sponsor. After she retires, she is leaving Seattle and moving back to the midwest to be with her family. My husband will miss her. She was a good person. 

  

how did she leave the country? roderick

That was a logistical adventure in and of itself. 

Internet connectivity was crappy while she and my brother were planning. Sometimes they could only exchange a couple text messages at random times during the day. As a result much of the planning had to be done on faith. My brother had to buy airline tickets and not learn for a day if she received the itinerary. 

Weeks ahead of her departure, she bought and set aside the gasoline that she needed to get from their house to the airport.

My brother found a small regional flight from Cuba to Cancun. Once she was in Cancun, she took a regular flight to home. 

My Sister-in-law is back from Cuba. My brother has this to say...

...She made it back. She seems to have both a sinus infection and an allergy issue right now she’s itchy all over and she’s on penicillin and an anti allergic or antihistamine type medication.

When she got home pretty much the first thing she did was shower and clean up. She doesn’t believe she fell asleep in the last 34 hours before arriving home. And she seems to be only waking up for her alarm to take her medication

But yes, it’s good to have her back. And I’m glad there was no major issues on the flights back

This is a bittersweet moment from them. Her father has late stage 4 cancer.  We don't know how much longer he'll live or if she can travel back to Cuba when he passes away.

I have submitted my retirement notice.  The suggested an end date is June 30th, though I'm willing to work with them to hire and mentor my replacement.

I've been mulling retirement over for a while. Late last week I was asked to put together my org's long term compensation budget (Compensation paid out over the next two years) By announcing my retirement now my boss can allocate my future long term compensation to other people-- give them a little raise so that maybe they are more inclined to stay around after my departure. 

When I met my boss this morning to discuss the budget, I informed him of my decision. He sighed. He quizzed me a bit. We talked a little about the budget. Mostly we discussed my future plans and what changed that I decided to pull the trigger.

We have learned that the Washington State Ferry System offers memorial services. For a fee and with a little planning, they will pause the ferry, let you scatter the ashes and then sound the ferry's whistle to honor the occasion. 

What a fantastic way to scatter my mother-in-law's ashes.

In Seattle, March is in like a lamb with two pleasant sunny days in a row.

We had the neighbears (Too cute?) over for dinner last night. It was good to catch up with them. They are getting married soon and we talked through their last minute challenges. 

One of them has taken a new job at a non-profit. It's a pay cut, but he is much more interested in the work. When we were talking about his frustrations with his old company I recognized many of his words and phrases as the same used by my executives. I wonder if this is all a McKinsey and Company management package being sold to many tech companies-- 

Hey little tech executive-- did you over-hire during COVID? Have your sales plateaued? Have I got a business plan for you! Just repeat these phrases--"High Performance Culture." and "Efficiencies from AI"-- over and over. With that, you can stealth layoff without drawing attention to the fact that you are actually struggling.

As cynical as it is, it's hard for me to actually feel sorry for most of my compatriots in the tech industry. We are paid fantastic salaries and given enormous freedoms. The companies we work for have the right to demand high standards and that we constantly improve ourselves.  At some level, we tecb-bros want to be well compensated working at easy jobs that make billionaires a tiny bit richer. If that is not acceptable, then leave. 

We are down to the last few things. My mother-in-law had a mobility scooter that is surprisingly hard to sell. Only obvious scammers are make inquiries. I suspect this is because Medicare can pay for new scooters so the used market is small.

What does one do with an unneeded mobility scooter? We've asked her Senior Living center if they want it. They declined. 'Former' tenants regularly leave similar things behind.

We've are also leaving messages at various charities. 

My day job is going OK. I'm not 100% engaged. I do ensure that nothing blows up. The executives have not yet announced the new reorganization. They've been debating it for a month now. Everyone is wondering the cause of the hangup. 

I talk regularly with two VPs. One says he doesn't know the cause of the hangup. The other says the reorg changes three times a day. He can't say anything useful, so he must communicate nothing. 

My plan is to tell them about my retirement in mid march. I still intend to retire by July. 

We have been doing work. Getting the next job done.

My mother-in-law's apartment is almost empty and ready to return to the senior living center. My husband is exhausted. Since she passed, he's had insomnia  has been waking up at 3:30am. Sunday, he had a good afternoon nap. I'm hoping he can soon get back to his regular schedule.

His mother’s passing has given him opportunity to catch up with his extended family, cousins and step siblings. Retelling old stories good and bad.

 “What to expect next on my decline.“

We found a recent letter from my mother-in-law’s doctor. My mother-in-law wrote the above in its margins. 

The letter listed her conditions… 

Her emphysema was evolving. Part of her lung had collapsed. Her breathing was getting worse. (She had COPD for years and was on oxygen) 

She had a new slow growing cancer. 

The fluid around her heart was going down. The doctor emphasized that this was good news. 

She had early stage liver cirrhosis.

News from my brother on his wife who is in Cuba caring for her father who has cancer…

Yesterday, somewhere in Havana, She was walking with her father when they came across a relief effort run by Canadians and Americans. Many of them were doctors from various organizations.

When She told them she could speak English, they invited her to come forward and talk. She had to push her way through the crowd because there were so many people, but the doctors were thrilled that She could translate. 

They asked her father to come to the front, examined him, and gave him a new pair of glasses. They also provided better supplies for his tracheotomy. The tube currently in her father's throat is actually damaging the surrounding skin, and these doctors had silicone inserts designed to protect it. They gave the supplies to her so that her father's doctor can place the silicone piece between the metal and the skin to prevent further damage and keep everything sealed and stable.

Her father also received a quick check‑up. Unfortunately, the cancer he’s facing is still the most serious issue.

Today, they must travel from Havana to Cienfuegos to meet with the doctors there. Under normal circumstances, it’s about a 3.5‑hour drive—roughly 250 km—but with fuel shortages, the trip has become extremely expensive. After the appointment, they will likely have to return to Havana.

On a slightly more forward‑looking note, She finally managed to pay her brother‑in‑law to buy fuel before the gas outage began. The amount he secured is only enough to get her from their home to whichever airport she ends up using. At least that fuel is set aside for when she leaves the country.

Air Transat won’t be flying out of Cuba until April 30, but there are still flights to places like Panama. Now we just need her to get her passport back, and then we can figure out the next steps.