My husband and I had a lovely Valentines dinner. For that, I did some prep work to have a long conversation with him. Usually I'm quiet at our dinners. We'll talk about work and the day, but nothing deep. For Valentines, I found "36 questions that lead to love." We had a good time walking through the questions.

My husband is visiting his mother when he can. She has several long-term and terminal conditions that don't get better as you age. Over the past few months they have become acute. She has been in and out of the hospital several times, fighting to find a cure. Only recently has she started to consider that the doctors are doing all they can and there is no lasting solution for her situation. 

My mother-in-law has started to think through how her sons will execute on her will. Her finances, unfortunately, are not simple. So she is ensuring that both her sons will have access to her accounts, bankers and lawyers. This involves paperwork and driving around to different banks and law firms. 

My husband is the kind of person who gets in there and gets things done even if it means dealing with paperwork and bureaucracy. My brother-in-law shy's away from these tasks. Perhaps his job doesn't give him as much flexibility. Unfortunately, it has left my brother-in-law in a situation where he feels like my husband is taking over, and will have complete control of their mother's money. It's caused some tension between them. I can't feel sorry for brother-in-law. 90% of success is showing up and he is not.