My Uncle has passed way. This is a blessing. He was in rapid decline from his cancer. 

He was 87.

Prechristmas (Advent?) is quiet. The weather, a mixture of snow and freeing rain, has been keeping many people at home. 

To keep the hummingbird feeder from freezing, I've been brining in at night. The birds are grateful when I return it in the morning. 

Wednesday and Thursday I did go to work. My VP had some use-it-or-lose-it money that he needed to spend before the end of year, so we had an impromptu holiday get-together at work.

 And, of course, somebody at our party had COVID. The husband and I are feeling fine. 

Saturday, we hosted a holiday open house for our AA friends. Maybe 30 people showed up. It was good. 

We have way too many leftovers now. Ham, crackers and cookies in particular. I've been impulsively snacking on the cookies.

Christmas, we are hosting a smaller party for family. Whatever is left will be served then.

We've been busy. Nothing much here to pontificate on. I'm just writing it all down so that I remember.

Two weekends ago we saw "Pink Martini."

Last weekend we saw "Jingle all the gay" on Friday. This is an annual holiday drag show. The two friends we saw it with said it's basically the same script every year, freshened up a bit to poke fun at whatever politics are current. 

Saturday was the Seattle Symphony Christmas Pops. Sunday--dinner with Evan and Allen.

The husband has flown to CA for a few days for work.

We've had a gentle snow off and on over the past three days. We've finished with the Christmas decorations. Merry Christmas everyone. Happy Holidays.

The husband has a grade school friend in from out of town. She had a day long layover in Seattle, so they decided to get together. It's a pleasant day with her. She is decidedly more introverted than most of the husband's other friends, but she is enjoying the conversation. 

There is one thing I can do... when I am over 75, and should I start showing dementia, then I could move into a retirement home with memory care. The husband would have to catch up. I don't want to burden him with caring for me. 

While that's not a particularly deep thought, it does give me a little comfort. 

Bathwater writes....
> Both my parents died within a year of becoming ill. I hope that is the way I go.

I hope that for myself as well. It's not something I have control over. I have seen people who have died quickly after their decline started. I've also seen the process take years. This is all complicated if the person isn't in constant pain. 

I'm not sure how death-with-dignity, assisted suicide, would work. My mother has had Alzheimers for years. I have an aunt who is basically a vegetable and has been so for months. They are not suffering. They don't, (can't!) realize they are burden to others.

For me to decide on a death-with-dignity, I'd have to be 75+ years old and still mentally fit, but seeing the first signs of dementia. I'm not sure I could make that choice.

After a whirlwind trip through Toronto, we are back in Seattle.

In Toronto, we hung out with my friends, saw "Mean Girls," toured museums and ate too much.

Of course my friends have their own life challenges. We all have aging parents, some of whom also have dementia. One couple has an autistic child who can be a handful. 

These eastern Ontario farmers can be fiercely independent and frugal. Often to a fault. I've seen them bring their own cookies to a coffee shop.

To be this frugal, they learn to be a jack of all trades. Sometimes they must be a vet. Sometimes a mechanic or welder. Sometimes a builder, a carpenter or plumber. As a kid I remember being in awe of the breadth of their knowledge. 

At my parents home there is a sink in the laundry room. The drain has developed a small leak. This is not an emergency, but it must be dealt with. This morning, Dad and I took a look at it.

Dad pulled back the sink so we see the drain better. What I saw made me ill. Generations of farmers have been too frugal, have been hacking at that drain connection. It was a Frankenstein of different pipes, fittings and flanges. 

We discussed how to fix the leak. I suggested we remove and replace a few more of the pipes so that we could start with something new and predictable. There are so many joints under that sink that if we don't get it just right, then another leak would open up nearby. Dad pointed out that if we started down that path, then there would be no end in site. He called it Mickey-Mouse plumbing. The house is full of it. He found it best to leave it alone as much as possible.

And so we are building yet another pipe-flange-fitting combo. We will add it on to the rest of the beast that is this house's plumbing. 

As it turns out, dad has a closet dedicated to plumbing odds and ends-- little bits of pipes each of a slightly different diameter, different kinds of seals and sealants and the tools needed to adapt all this to fix the leak-du-jour. 

Fiercely independent and frugal. Often to a fault.

The uncles and aunts are getting old. My parents are on the younger side-- 78. My oldest uncle is 91.

Another uncle has cancer. It has spread through his system. This uncle is 87. Independent of his diagnosis, he had just been accepted to a retirement home. He must still shut down and sell his current home.

My mother-- what about my mother. She has memory issues. She has Alzheimer's. She had cancer. Perhaps she is over the the cancer. The last scan was good.

And she has energy and is so very cheerful. She can't be left alone. She likes to talk, reciting the same stories over and over-- repeatedly asking the same question.  And she is so very cheerful. 

When I am at their home, I will spend time with mom while dad does errands around their property. If mom is not around dad for long, then she will wonder where he is, and eventually will decide to go out and look for him. I can gently talk to her, reminder her that dad will be back in a few minutes. She doesn't need to go out to find him.

And dad-- he has an encyclopedic knowledge of the local map.  Who owns what property. Who owned it it before. How well each property is taken care of.

The GPS and map on my phone work well here. Still when I'm going someplace, dad insists on giving me the directions with color commentary.

I am visiting my parents, deep in the farm country of eastern Ontario. It's the 70th anniversary of our church. A few extra people are in town to celebrate. 

After church, at coffee, we were sharing stories of old members. WJ reminded us of NV.

NV was a simple farmer. "He talked like a lawyer but dressed like Tom Sawyer" I had to google that line. It sounds too pithy to be original, but it perhaps it is. 

NV lived in a house without power. Or water. He would take his baths outside. Mostly so he didn't have to clean inside. 

Even in the bath, he would keep a gun by his side. You never know when you will need a gun. 

For an alarm, NV had two loud and angry geese named Pontious and Pilot. 

NV didn't like the neighbor's dog. When Pontious or Pilot warned him of the dog's approach, he would scare the dog off by shooting at it. 

One day a bullet hit the dog's snout!  The dog was otherwise fine. 

The next winter, when the dog was running through NV's yard, NV could see the dog's breath. But he could also see some of the breath going up! Through the bullet hole!

The table had a good laugh when we heard that story. Now, when I write it down, I feel something more. Perhaps concern. Perhaps disconnection. 

The elder people here live very simple,  independent, self-reliant lives. They love that. It's very different than how I live. Sometimes it's difficult for me to relate. Around here, they believe they need guns. 

Now if I took pot shots at the neighbor's dog...

I was at the dentists office yesterday for a regular checkup. While I was in the chair, I noticed that they were playing 80s Heavy Metal office wide as the background music. One example-- AC DC's Highway To Hell. It wasn't a Muzak instrumental version. It was the original version.

How did that happen? When did we decide that old Heavy Metal is now safe office music. Or maybe it's always been that way. In 25 years today's risqué music will be heard, unedited, in elevators everywhere.

The husband is taking a hard look at his career. His company has just gone through a large reorg with many job cuts. He is very uncertain about his new job and his new manager. He is pretty sure that he could  earn another $30K or $40K at a different company. 

He has traveled to Dallas this week for internal meetings. He is having good talks with his new manager.

C2 and I had dinner last night. Over dinner he mentioned that he had to "be on" when we have dinner together-- be a nicer person-- be a little more talkative. Sometimes he just wants to hang out with someone and not talk about things, or be nice.

Late on, I told the husband this. He laughed a little.

From that point of view, the husband is the opposite of C2. The husband is uncomfortable when he's around people and they aren't talking to each other. 

Good for you! I have to admit I still have Instagram and TikTok, but I try to minimize the amount of time I spend on them.

I could never get into TikTok. It makes me feel like I'm watching someone else channel surf.

I've tried minimizing the amount of time I spend on social media. That doesn't work for me. I keep finding reasons to stay on a little longer.

I have uninstalled Twitter, Facebook, Instagram & Reddit. 

I have started using Mastodon. I'm not sure I'm going to stick with it. It's a bit chaotic. 

Getting off of social media is as much about me trying to reclaim some time in my day than it is a political statement about Musk or Zuckerberg. Thought that did help. Their recent flare ups have caused me to ask "Where am I spending my time? How can I better do so?"

I am blogging a bit more. Though those have been very matter-of-fact. I am also reading more. 

Pulling up Facebook or Twitter is a very strong habit. Even a week after removing their apps, I regularly take out my phone and go to the spot where their icons once sat. Now I stare at the blank space and contemplate what to do next.

We've put up our indoor Christmas decorations-- our Christmas tree, wreaths and a nativity scene. We are traveling a bit in the next few weeks, so this weekend was as good as any. 

Saturday we attended a sober, Drag Queen Bingo fundraiser. It was good. I won a gift card.

We also saw the Planter's NUTMOBILE.  Somehow they got word of the fundraiser and so they showed up. We talked to the drivers for a while. It's an interesting job. They are friends with the folks who run Oscar Mayer's Weinermobile.

Sunday evening was cut short. The husband was originally going to travel for work on Monday. His flight was canceled. He ended up leaving late Sunday.

The cousins are off. They have flown back to England. Our home is back to its usual self. 

The weather is thoroughly fall now. Rain. Cool. In small talk, people are commenting how rapidly it changed. One day we had summer weather. The next day it was fall. 

We are discussing putting up Christmas this weekend. We are traveling to Ontario for the last two weeks of November. So next weekend will be the last weekend we can do it, unless we want to put it up late.

Christmas decorations please the husband.

 

40 kids for Halloween trick or treats.

I was doing very well not eating any of our candy. Then a neighbor showed up and gave me a thank-you bag of cookies and chocolates for helping on the weekend. I scarfed that down. They were *my* sweets. 

Mom is out of the hospital now

>That must be scary for her.

Actually. No. She also has short term memory problems. She doesn't remember that she was in the hospital. The short term memory issues are a blessing and a curse. Dad must always be near her in case something goes wrong. After the wrong is dealt with, mom doesn't remember what happened and goes back to being her cheerful self.

Saturday our neighborhood association held a Halloween event for the local kids. We didn't keep an official count. Judging from the photos about about 40 people attended plus 8 organizers.

I helped build our "Haunted Trail" and did the crosswalk duty-- the event was at a park that crosses a street. The husband took registrations and watched over the Haunted Trail.

Sunday we held a brunch for the mother-in-law. Monday is her 85th birthday. It was a costume brunch. Everyone showed up dressed in their Halloween best.

I invited C2. He backed out when he discovered that we were wearing costumes.

Quote from him from our chat... "Is this a big event where your husband bought special napkins and a little dog will be running all over the place and group pics will be taken and I have to pretend that I like people?"

Of course good news can't go unchallenged. Mom is in the hospital. She will be OK.

For sometime now, years, Mom has been prone to seizures and groggy episodes. When she has a groggy episode, she becomes quiet. She can't safely stand. It's like she's half asleep. When an episode comes on, dad will put her to bed or lay her on the sofa. Five or ten minutes later she will snap out of it, return to normal and not remember anything wrong.

This morning she had an extended groggy episode. My parents had breakfast. Everything was fine. Then she started to fade out. Dad put her to bed. That was two hour ago. She wasn't snapping out of it so dad brought her to the hospital.

Good news from my mother. The results from her latest scan look good. There is no sign of cancer in her right now.

Our fall schedule is full. The husband and I are visiting my parents for two weeks in November. Add some work travel and a few holiday parties to that, and all of a sudden it's Christmas before we have a free weekend. 

The husband and I have been discussing our perennially full schedule. We'd like to have a few smaller fun events where it's just he and I. Maybe we'll take a cooking class, or glass blowing. Maybe Spanish lessons together. 

I had a two day work trip to San Francisco. This time the days were packed. With the prior trip, I had one very busy day, followed by an empty day. Perhaps the company is becoming a little more open to working in person.

While I was away, Seattle had terrible air quality. For two days in a row, Seattle had the worst air quality of any place on earth. Even Pakistan had better air quality.

The husband's cousins are back at our place. For the past few weeks they have been touring the west coast. They had a good time. They were camping often. The camp grounds are shutting down, so they returned early.

Banking story... the cousins are from England. They discovered they can't pay their credit card bill while they are traveling because their bank needs to send them a text to check they haven't been hacked. Of course, they can't receive the text because they are in the U.S.

Their bank has a branch nearby. The tellers at the bank couldn't fix the problem.

However, they discovered that if they are on the bank's wifi, then they can use their banking app without the extra check. All good, sort of. The cousins now go to the bank once a week. Hang out in the lobby to do their banking. Explain to security what they are doing, and then get on with their lives.

Wednesday, my CEO was in town. We had a large all-hands meeting at the office. Afterwards about twenty randomly chosen people, including me, went out for dinner with him. It was an interesting experience. 

My first takeaway is that I would hate to be a CEO. It would be exhausting. Half the crowd was angling to talk to him-- share their ideas, ask him difficult questions, complain. The other half went out of the way to keep their distance. Thought out it all, the CEO kept a smile on his face and had pleasant conversation with everyone. He drew the quiet out. He listened to the same trivial complaint half a dozen times and took it calmly and seriously.

Thursday, the Husband and I had a date night. Dinner at "The Fog Room." It has nice views of the Puget Sound. The weather is warm and we sat outside. Air quality is still low. Smoke is pervasive. Everywhere smells like a campfire. None-the-less, we enjoyed our dinner on the patio.

Towards the end of dinner, the Husband suggested we meet up with his brother for dessert. The brother-in-law lives nearby. So we switched restaurants and spent an hour chatting with him. It was good to catch up. He seems to be doing well. 

Saturday we attended Salmon Day's with Allen & Even. Salmon Day's are is the local, annual street fair. We celebrate the return of the salmon to the city. We eat street fair food-- corn dogs, deep fried spiral cut potatoes, mini-donuts. We check out the artists.

This was the first Salmon Day's since the pandemic.

The fried food stands had huge lines. The husband and I joked that if we ever wanted to quit our jobs and become street fair vendors, then mini-donuts and elephant ears are the way to go.

Sunday we walked up the stairs of the Space Needle. This was a charity fundraiser. The Space Needle has 832 steps. 

We did it in 17 minutes and 58 seconds.

The fastest stair climbers did it in five minutes. In an interview the fastest man said he does stair climbing all the time. Friday he did the Columbia Center for practice. Today he is flying off to Tampa for another climb.

Late September to early October is my favorite time of the year in Seattle. The weather cools a little but the rains have not returned. I can take my laptop and work in the back yard.

The mother-in-law's radiation treatment has gone well. It will be a while before her next scan and if her cancer was killed.

Mother-in-law has started her radiation treatment this week. The whole process is short but intense. Every day, for four days, she will receive targeted radiation. That's it. '

Monday's shot went well, though she said she was tired afterward.

Things are quiet this week. The husband is away for leadership training (at Westpoint!) our roommate is dog sitting. No-one at home but me and my dog.

I try to play fetch with the dog. It's good exercise for her. She has her own rules to fetch. She has trained us as much as we have trained her.

1. The dog decides where the ball is thrown and returned. If I throw the ball from an unacceptable spot, she will return the ball to the correct spot. It's then my obligation to walk to that spot and start throwing from there.

2. The dog decides the direction and the distance for the ball to be thrown. As I start to throw the ball, she'll start running. If I don't throw the ball a bit ahead of her, she'll give up on chasing the ball, then turn around and glare.

3. The dog decides how often the ball is to be thrown. At some point, she'll stop returning the ball. She'll just lay down and chew on the ball. She will show no interest if I walk over and take the ball away from her.

I understand what happened with the cousin's plan. In England, they purchased a U.S. package for their cell phone. Once in America, they discovered that their phone won't actually work on a U.S. network. The cell company can't fix this.

To get full access to their bank account, they need to receive a code from the bank by text message... and that phone can't work here.

The cousins traveled to the US with a very limited credit card and a very flakey cell phone. They do have tablets that can connect to wifi. 

Their bank has a branch near us. They are traveling to it this afternoon to see what they can do about accessing more of their money.

Yesterday they took the mother-in-law on a nice roadtrip to Leavenworth, WA. A little tourist destination that's about two hours away from us.

-

The mother-in-law has started her radiation treatment. She should be done with it within a month. 

The cousins are still here. The husband and I have been discussing their rather open ended travel plans. They will probably stay till Monday. They think they will come back at the end of October for a week, or maybe two.

Now, the cousins are clean and quiet people. It's easy to have interesting conversation with them. They are still strangers in our house. They bring small impositions. Who buys the food? Do we cook for them each night?  Who gets to choose what we watch on TV? When we have company over, do we invite the cousins as well? Do we shoo them away? Small impositions, none the less, they are impositions. 

Of course, we want to spend time at their place when we travel to England. And of course, they are good people, so we still want to have a strong relationship with them. 

The husband is going to talk to them about their travel plans. Maybe if they bought food and cooked it would be better. We shall see.

It's been a busy labour day weekend for us. 

The husband's cousins are here. They are a wonderful retired couple who do a lot of traveling. This is their first trip to the U.S. since before the pandemic. 

They arrived a few days ago and are staying for the next week. After that they will head off on a roadtrip and visit their friends and see the sights up and down the coast.

Friday I helped move C2 to his new apartment. He moved down one floor and to the other side of the building. The new apartment should be a bit more quiet. The move was straightforward. He moved all the small stuff the previous day. All we had to do was to move a sofa, mattress and table.

Saturday, we drove the cousins to visit the mother-in-law. The cousins and the brother-in-law went to a Husky's football game.

Sunday we had a BBQ for the husband's family.

Monday, the brother-in-law hosted a small party for a friends at his rowing club.

We had a great time in Whistler BC. We spent the time with our friends G&J, and their kids. We hiked. We did the touristy things-- zip lining, bob sledding, ATVing, after dark light shows. 

And we ate too much ice cream

We are off to Vancouver and Whistler for a few days. 

Part of this is to recelebrate our 5th year anniversary. Officially our 5th anniversary was back in July, however we were quarantining from each other at that time so it didn't happen.

We also bought new wedding rings for each other. A bit about that-- we always buy cheap wedding rings and then change them up every couple of years. 

The first rings were tungsten rings that got for about $15 each on Amazon. After a couple of years, I accidentally dropped mine and it shattered. 

So we bought a couple of stainless steel wedding bands for maybe $10 each.

A few weeks ago the husband suggested that we upgrade our wedding bands. Titanium bands are nice. We just spent $14 each for our titanium bands, and maybe ten times that for a celebratory dinner.

> I had to look that up. Thought that I hadn't heard of something. Then I realized there was a typo. Hopefully, all your symptoms disappear, and you are not straddled with long covid.

Sigh. Typos. Spelling has never been by strong suit.

I don't think this is long COVID. I have my taste. I have my regular energy. No brain fog. I'm just congested. And thinking positive.

Today we home tested. The husband tested negative. I have a very faint band indicating I am still positive.

...and I just learned that the mother-in-law has fast growing cancer. We will get more details in the next few days.

Quiet weekend for us recovering from COVIDs lingering effects. We were originally going to go to a Mens Addiction Recovery Retreat, however we are still both congested. My energy has returned and my throat is no longer sore. The husband is still low energy and having coughing fits.

> It is hard to take covid seriously when it has never affected me. I cannot believe I have not been exposed to it by now.

Covid seems to be a very random disease, which makes it hard for the lucky or fortunate to take it seriously.

With the flu-- you know what you are in for. You may have a lite flu, or a tough flu, but the symptoms are never too different. So everyone understands the flu. You don't gamble with the flu. 

Covid is all over the map. Some are nigh immune to it. Some have a scratchy throat for forty eight hours. Others are flat on their backs for a week. *And* it changes. The first time you have covid, you may have it easy. The second time hard. It's much more of a gamblers disease and that means the gamblers amongst us will treat it way different than the risk adverse. 

Right now the husband is very sick with his COVID. He needs morning and afternoon naps. He has coughing fits.

My recovery is a few days ahead of his. I am a bit tired and I still have a scratchy throat. I'm not having coughing fits and don't need naps.

>That sucks getting Covid on the cruise. I hope it passes quickly for you.

On the plus side, this was my first cruise where I have lost weight.
I'm attending work today, but what is work for me but sitting in a comfy chair all day, and chatting with people on a zoom screen.

By and large, we enjoyed our time in Alaska. 

I hesitate to say how my covid is. The symptoms seem to change every hour. This hour I don't have a fever. I'm a little tired and sometimes have coughing fits.

The husband also has covid and is the thick of it. He has a fever, coughing and is achy.

As if on queue, I develop a headache.

And I have COVID. No one to blame for that but myself.

I seem to be going through it quickly. Yesterday I had chills, was tired and slept a lot. Today my energy has returned though I am a little congested. I am spending most of my time in the cabin. 

We are on an Alaskan cruise with a few of the husbands old friends. I'm enjoying myself. So far the weather has been great. 

I'm trying to use the opportunity to reset my internet habits. The internet is slow here. Txt works. Email works. Pictures and videos, not so much. I'm using the time to read, to write and to just stair at the ocean and contemplate the passing of time. 

We are having our house painted. The instructions to the painter were to paint it with exactly the same colours as it was. Of course the paint isn't turning out that way. It's a little darker. A little less saturated. Or maybe not. When its not in bright sun it looks a bit warmer. The painter can point to the pain cans and show us its the same spec as what we gave him.

This is stressing the husband out a bit. I want to support the husband, but I'm not that emotionally in tune with subtle shades of colour. As long as its not garish, then I'll be fine. 

I don't want to put all of this on the husband though. He does have better taste than me. 

Tuesday, I had dinner with C3. Tacos at a local gay bar. I try to have dinner with him regularly. He lives in a trendy area of Seattle. It's fun for me to get out of the suburbs-- to see the hip & cool kids. 

C3 is waging war on the pigeons that visit his balcony. He has a bird feeder there and enjoys watching the small birds eat at it. On the other hand the pigeons chase off the small birds and make a mess.

His solution has been to build a Rube Goldberg of a cage around the bird feeder. The cage is made of odds and ends found around the house-- plastic tubs, bits of metal, duct tape. The holes in the cage are big enough to let the small birds through, but small enough to keep the pigeons out. 

The pigeons constantly pry at the cage to pull it part and gain access to the food. He responds by rebuilding the cage with more duct tape and stronger odds-and-ends.

I asked him why he doesn't buy a pigeon proof bird feeder. They are not that expensive. He responded that he's moving soon and he doesn't want to buy anything more to move.

C3's lease expires soon and he's looking for a new aparment. His apartment overlooks a loud and busy park-- there are always people there playing basketball, skate boarding, baseball, sometimes cricket. He wants an apartment that is more quiet.

-

At work, my manager has been promoted. My manager asked me if I wanted to apply for his job. He is looking for a replacement. In the past I've said I'm not interested in that job. It's more administration, more stress and less direct engagement with our business problems.

I talked this over with C3. His blunt response was "Why wouldn't you apply?"

This morning I threw my hat into that ring. We'll see. I'm trying to not be emotionally attached to this. There are good reasons to hire a fresh outside candidate. There are also good reasons to hire me.

Yesterday, for the first time in weeks, the husband and I had sex. It was good. The husband cried a little afterwards. I think he was relieved-- that our relationship is headed in the right direction.

My mother has had her latest call with the oncologist. Positive news. Her last scan shows some swelling in the area around the tumor, but that's not uncommon. She'll have another scan in three months.

The husband is keeping busy during his travels-- hanging out with friends. Buying cheap tickets to musicals. I'm happy for him.

For the past few days, I have been in San Francisco for work. It's largely a moral and team building event with dinners, parties and and a harbor cruise. 

Hundreds of people flew in for Tuesday and Wednesday. The offices were busy. Most people have returned home. I'm staying for an extra day. Of course the office is quiet again. I have the 24th floor of our building all to myself. 

This floor as an expensive espresso machine. Allegedly $15,000.00. I want to make some coffee with it, but the buttons are all obscure icons. I'll youtube some training videos later.

Over the weekend, our HOA hosted it's first neighborhood get-together since before the pandemic. It was nice to meet many of our neighbors for the first time.

Today is my second last day in Ontario. My brother and his wife left yesterday. Baring any disaster at the airports, I should be home Saturday night.

The husband picked up an STD during his relapse. It's all treatable. He and I must have much deep conversation about our relationship. He is humiliated about the relapse and is punishing himself. He is also being very open and honest with me. 

I have no urge to have a revenge trick. Between the husband's bad experience, and C2's stories about his hookups, I have no desire to go down that path.

So, what does it look like to repair my relationship with the husband? 

I now have access to mom's medical file and can see the details. She has Alzheimers and lung cancer. The cancer is slow and hasn't spread. It will be a few weeks before we meet with the oncologist to discuss next steps. That last part is frustrating. Her previous oncologist has left that hospital.

The husband is taking his relapse seriously. He is working closely with his sponsor and keeping himself busy-- meetings every day-- proper self care.  I have to let him do his thing. There is nothing I can do to help him stay sober.

My family and I are reflecting on mom and discreetly discussing how to manage her care. She looks healthy despite the radiation treatment. I hope she beats the cancer. We can only manage her Alzheimer's. What does the rest of her life look like?

I am also catching up with hold high school acquaintances. Some of them are talking about stepping back from work. Not retiring, but working less aggressively. 

One, a real-estate agent, said she her work is dawn-to-dusk, seven-days-a-week. The is affecting her relationships and her health. She is stepping back from real-estate to find something new.

Another couple, who has always run multiple small businesses, saw some of their business go-away at the start of the pandemic. Their other businesses grew and could largely be run remotely. 

This fall they will try RVing for few months to see if they enjoy it. The husband is looking forward to it, but uncertain. He's not good at sitting still or driving for hours-- at the start of the pandemic he stress-built a new wing on their house because he needed something to do.

Saturday, I tracked down another high school acquaintance. We are both children of farmers and sat at the same table during home-room.

Recently BH has had some medical issues. A blood vessel kept leaking in his brain. The surgery to address that appears to have been successful. He is now recovering at home.

While BH is recovering a cousin of mine is helping around BH's farm. My cousin suggested I talk to BH-- BH has nothing to do during the day and would appreciate the company.

It was good to catch up with him. We are *very* different people. Very different life experiences. BH mentioned that I seem to be good at talking to people, something he's always struggled with. BH runs a very successful farm-- a life I intentionally moved far far away from decades ago.

 I've sorted out some of the confusion with my mothers medical information. The diagnostics center and her doctor are in two different hospital systems. These two systems don't always know how to share information. After many phone calls to each I found someone who was able to stitch things together. Now we should have a follow up appointment next week where we can get some answers.

My parents are the kind of folks who, when company is coming, will start brewing a pot of coffee an hour ahead of time, so it will be ready, nice and hot when the company arrives.

My brother and parents are off to Ottawa today. Dad has a followup appointment from yesterday's cataract surgery. They also want to do some shopping.

My sister-in-law and I are staying back. Aside from my regular work, I am also following up on mom's doctor's appointment. 

And we are cleaning and purging. 

We've found much old food that needs to go. Spices and canned food that are ten years old. At first I was worried they were eating the old food. However, that is not happening. There are maybe three shelves of food in the fridge that they use regularly. That's all fresh and new. Everything else-- they have a pantry, a second fridge and a large stand-alone freezer-- is ignored. That food ages in place.

I am visiting my parents in eastern Ontario. My brother and his wife are here as well.

Some background info-- my mother believes she is a healthy independent woman. She doesn't know that she can't remember what happened more than 10 minutes ago. She becomes angry quickly should she be surprised by information that she is not healthy. Conversations about her car or health have to happen behind her back.

On our first evening here, we were all outside chatting. At some point my mother went inside to use the washroom. While she was absent, my father told us that mom has a tumor on her lung. She has received 8 shots of radiation to treat it. 

That was heavy and a big surprise. I'm sure dad didn't tell us because he didn't want to upset mom. I wish he would have told us long ago. I'm sure he didn't because mom would have been angry should he have shared that info with us.

Mom looks healthy. Perhaps a bit more thin than last time. She does not look like she has been receiving radiation treatment.

Unfortunately dad doesn't know any more information about the tumor than that. He doesn't know the type. The prognosis. 

Dad did have a call scheduled with the Doctor for today. Dad couldn't attend the call because he also had cataract surgery today. (Cataract Surgery! Another surprise) I took the call but didn't learn much. The doctor didn't have a recent CT scan. Either my parents forgot to get mom scanned again, or the scan has not yet made it to the doctor. Another call must be scheduled

C2 and I had dinner with Clem and Bates. They are retired now and enjoying the time. Though, Bates mentioned that he has spent about half of his life savings in the past year. He must dial that back.

Clem and Bates both have healthy pensions. Blowing through life savings won't be as much of a crises for them as for most people.

They have also gone soft on leaving Seattle. Preretirement they considered selling their house and moving somewhere more affordable. Now they realize that they like Seattle. They enjoy traveling somewhere else for a few weeks, but then they are ready to return home. Sometimes it's nice to spend a few weeks close to family. It's also good to leave.

I stepped in it a little with C2. C2 and I frequently have dinner together on Tuesday. When Clem and Bates invited me to dinner on Tuesday. I texted C2 "Tuesday schedule... drinks with C&B at Diesel at 6pm. Dinner at LS at 7:15" He did not like the direct approach I took with the text. I do not order him around. We are friends. I need to ask.

I apologized. He got over it quickly.

Our weather is finally pleasant. The longest day of the year is almost here.

Saturday we visited the mother-in-law at here home. She is doing well though she quickly becomes tired.

Saturday evening we had dinner and a game night with some of our AA friends. It was fun. 

One of our dinner guests spent the night. He drove two hours to visit us. Rather than having him drive two hours back, he crashed in our spare bedroom. The next morning we had breakfast together and went for a local hike. Then he drove back to his home.

This experience led the husband and I to have some good conversations about our relationship. Sometimes I have problems connecting to people in the program. When that happens I'm prone to pulling up my cell phone and tuning out.  

The husband gets it that I may not want to build a relationship with everyone in the program. Instead of tuning out, he asked me to make other plans or do my own thing. I don't have to hang out with him just because he has an AA event.

We decided to coordinate our social lives a little more. Perhaps I'll visit my friends the same night he visits his AA friends instead of both of us visiting my friends one night and both of us visiting his friends the second. 

My mother is an interesting challenge. She has short term memory problems. She can't remember things that happened more than about ten minutes ago. Despite that, she is surprisingly with it. She tells stories, play games, holds her part of a conversation. Here is challenge-- when she forgets where she is and what's happening, she confabulates. She makes up something and runs with it. She doesn't even realize she's doing it.

Example-- suppose we go out for dinner at a restaurant. At some point mom will need to use the restroom. Nothing unusual about that. By the time mom has finished in with the restroom, she'll have forgot where she was sitting and who she is with. She'll just wander off. We could loose her unless we watch the bathroom door.

Another example. Mom and dad are at home. Dad goes out to do some chores. After a while mom will forget this. Perhaps she'll decide that dad is getting their truck ready. She'll get dressed to go out, then wait by the garage or him. Or perhaps she'll wander around to try and find him.

All by the way of saying, someone needs to be there for mom all the time. This is tricky as Mom is an independent woman. She will figure out when she's being watched and will become angry if you imply she can't be alone. 

Dad needs to run a few errands while I am in town. He is having cataract surgery. Practically mom can't join him, nor can she be left alone for the day. So we tell her little white lies. Dad 'needs' her to stay at home because there will be an important call about her scans.  I will work from their home for that day just because I enjoy it there.

Today I received my new U.S. passport. Earlier this week I got my voter registration card. All I need know is to be summoned to jury duty and I'll have experienced all my new American privileges. 

Except serving my country if called upon by Congress. I can pass on that.

At the end of the month I'll travel to Canada to visit my parents. I'll workcation there for a week. My brothers will also be there. A good family visit.

The mother-in-law is doing better. She may get out of the hospital today.

"I felt a calling to be a sex therapist and relationship councilor."

Last night we had dinner with another couple that we know. They are a good couple. Over the course of the evening, the topic of second careers and retirement came up. What should we do to bring meaning to our lives? One of this couple was formerly in the tech industry. For years he has been transitioning to sex therapy and relationship counseling-- getting his masters degree and the required other trainings. 

I am sometimes envious of those with callings. I've never had a calling. I have some skills that are lucrative-- mathematics, software engineering, organizational behavior. And I have sold those skills for a good chunk of change. But I don't feel called to do so.

Very long ago I read that the quest for a calling can be dangerous (The Pleasures and Sorry of Work by Alain De Botton) People will cast their lives about looking for a calling, jumping from job to job. Really there is no choice you can make that will eliminate uncertainty or failure. You have to tackle every day with all your energy, never really knowing what the future may bring. The quest for a calling can a be an crutch to justify not engaging deeply with life.

But then there are those who do find a calling. 

Now-- a calling to be a sex therapist. I wanted to deeply dig into that one. I didn't do so. I felt like it would be too easy for that conversation to go off into the weeds. Would my questions come across as mocking? Would the husband feel comfortable listening to me asking many questions of another man who is comfortable talking about sex? Would I want to listen to my husband asking those same questions? As gay men we get to push the limits of behavior in polite company. 

Perhaps my calling is to be the Miss Manners for a sexually progressive crowd. What is proper etiquette when your hosts show you their workshop/sex-play-room and you don't want to encourage any sexual advances, yet you don't want to come across as disapproving?

 

The mother-in-law will be in the hospital for at least another week. She is in pain, but able to move around. Her temper is flaring. Yesterday while the husband was visiting her, she lashed out at him. The husband left her and returned home. He saw no point in bearing the brunt of her anger.

This morning they talked over the phone. While she is still in pain, she is not taking it out on the husband.

At work, the great designation has hit me. One of my leads wants to work on a project that's very important to him. It will take him away from his day-job for about eight months. He knows he can't arrange a leave of absence for that long, so he is resigning.

I can't tell how much of that is a story and how much is true. Even under the best of conditions, it's ballsy to leave a good job.

Of course a low risk procedure is not a no-risk procedure. My mother-in-law's lung collapsed after the procedure. She is OK and not in pain.

Weather something like summer has finally started in the Pacific North West. It's still cool and rainy. However it doesn't feel like we are stuck in April. Trees are full of leaves. Flowers are in bloom.

We spent part of the weekend power-washing around the house-- the drive way, decks, walk way, chairs used for the back yard. Things look nice now. 

The mother-in-law is having a medical procedure done today. This is to help her breathing. She has COPD and is on oxygen twenty four hours a day.

Even though procedure is low risk, she will spend the next three days in the hospital. If something goes wrong the doctors must respond quickly. The husband has warned me that his schedule will be janky over the next few days. He doesn't know if his mother will need his help or if the hospital will even allow that. 

We are back home. We originally planned to return on Sunday, however is was raining hard today. So we thought we'd drive home in the rain, rather than hang around the rental and watch movies.

Today is C4 & QJ's memorial day party. Usually it's a wonderful event. Today it may be cold and rainy. We will go anyways even if it's just to catch up with everyone. QJ & C4 are *very* social. There will be many people at the party that we rarely see. In all fairness, most of these people are the party crowd. None the less, there are always a few more quiet and interesting folks there.

My blog seems to be turning into a set of short random blurbs. I'm not really writing anything in depth.

In all fairness, this blog is mostly here to help me remember my life, not to be an in depth depot for my writings. None the less, when I look over the few bloggers that I regularly read, what they offer is more in-depth, hearth felt, poetic.

The husband and I are still on the Oregon coast. I enjoy working here, but my days are hectic. The great resignation has hit our company. There is a lot scrambling to cover a few key people who have left. I do what I can, but the constant context switching frazzles me.

It is gorgeous here. I love looking up from my laptop and taking in the ocean. If you look at the waterline in the following picture, you see people-- they are surfers! I am surprised that Oregon has surfers. They water is cold. They must all wear wet suits. 

The dog loves it here too. She gets the zoomies when we walk down to the beach. 

We are workationing for the week along the northern Oregon coast. The husband has business in Portland. I can work from anywhere, so we thought we'd try it out to see what it would be like to live there.

We could buy a nice house here for about half the price of Seattle. Restaurant meals are maybe a third less. There is no sales tax in Oregon. 

Our big problem would be the lack of social life. Most properties here are vacation rentals or weekend cottages. This part of the coast shuts down and clears out from the fall to the spring. During the summer it's almost all tourists.

We had a quick trip to Sacramento. 

Last winter, the husband's uncle died. Finally, this past Sunday the family was able to host his celebration-of-life.

The husband was able to work from Sacramento the week before, so I joined him on Thursday. We spent the weekend there. This was the first time that we've been there without needing to spend time with 

The stock market has been crazy bad. Last night at dinner, C3, who has always been an aggressive day trader, told me that he is out of the market. He had to do so for his own sanity.

The market crash is shaking up some coworkers. They are used to a rising stock price to fatten their take home pay. I'm wondering how this will play out. I've heard rumors that the hitech job market is tightening up. We shall see.

I've been through market bursts before, so I personally don't feel so bad. It's difficult to be patient, but that is what's necessary.

We've been back in Seattle for a few days now. 

The husband has flown off to California for work. He has started traveling frequently as business reopens. He'll be flying again next week.

Tuesday, I had dinner with C3. He's got a job! We talked about it. He said didn't put a lot of energy into finding a job. He has been toying with retirement. His experience over the past few months has led him to the conclusion that he is not ready to retire. 

This job is good enough for now. It pays a decent salary. It will occupy his time with something productive. In six months, he can change his plan.

> Which island are you staying on? Ava and I are thinking of staying on the big island because she is all about the outdoors and less likely to enjoy the touristy beaches or say still.

We are staying in Honolulu on Oahu. Oahu is a busy island and is the center of Hawaii's business and military.

The big island is a great choice if you want to be more outdoors. So is Kauai. At work, over lunch, we discussed the different Hawaiian islands. We concluded that if you want to hike or camp then Kauai is the best island. Maui and the big island are tied for a close for 2nd.

So much of that judgement depends on specifics. The big island has active volcanoes. For some that's a big attraction. For others it's a reason to stay away.

Maui has the best undeveloped beaches. Big & little Makena beach in particular. Also Black Sand Beach near Hana

The Kauai coast has fewer beaches and more cliffs. It's fun hiking along the cliffs. 

 

In Hawaii we are up early owing to jet lag. We are not alone.

This morning I wanted to have good coffee. I walked to a coffee shop. Hugh line. The picture is the lineup at the coffee shop just before it has opened at 6am. 

So I thought "This early, there most be a coffee shop nearby that doesn't have a long line." I looked a few up and went for a walk.

No. No there are not. Three other coffee shops near me all had similar lines.

I've been working 6:30 in the morning to 3 in the afternoon. This gives me a few afternoon hours to enjoy the beach.

We are in Hawaii for the week. The husband has business here and I found a cheap flight.

I will be working as well. With the time difference, I think I can end my day by 3pm, then do a little beaching.

Sunday, we hiked up to Diamond Head crater.

A robin is obsessed with my roommates car. For a few days now we've observed it sitting on the driver mirror and trying to get in. The roommate is reading this as a sign of luck, though she doesn't appreciate the poop it leaves on the mirror and door. 

I've done a bit of googling on this. Apparently they are territorial. The robin is trying to chase off the other robin in the reflection. 
 

C2's father passed away. C2 is fine with that. He has always thought his father to be a selfish asshole. 

C2 is concerned for the happiness of his step mother and wishes her well though he expect he will hear less and less from her as time passes. C2's side of her family was tolerated, not loved. I get the feeling they had a marriage of convenience. 

Tuesday evening the husband and I went out for dinner with C2. The husband suggested that maybe C2's father was mentally ill. C2 became very confrontational about that. C2 deeply believes his father was a selfish asshole by his choices, and not because he wasn't all there. 

C2's father did make C2's life needlessly tough and put him through much unnecessary pain. C2 is not ready to forgive his father for that, or to see him as anything but trash.

Family and friends were over for easter. It was a nice get-together. We had too much ham and chocolate. 

After dinner, and after too much wine, the mother-in-law and W talked politics. It was interesting to watch. Both worked hard to be respectful. Neither gave an inch. Such are political discussions.

It's easy to say what you feel, what you think. We rarely say what would change our minds. 

Allen couldn't make it. He is in a thirty day treatment. He had been sober for years. Recently we learnt that he'd been struggling-- drinking behind the back of his boyfriend. 

Good for him to seek help.

At work we had an "Onsite" meeting. Coworkers from all over the country met at the local office. We had a good couple days together.

I've received a promotion and have graduated from Senior Manager to Director. My boss's organization is also growing. He has started sending more work may way.

A friend asked me how I wanted to celebrate my promotion. She was recently promoted to partner at her company and celebrated with a trip to Arizona. 

I don't think I'm going to celebrate in a big way. More than stuff, or trips, I want fewer obligations on my free time.

Over the weekend, the husband and I went to a sobriety convention hosted along the Oregon coast. We attend most every year and catch up with old friends.

Yeah, somehow, over the years, a good chunk of my gay friends joined AA.

I've said this joke too many times-- Cannon Beach Oregon is one of the most beautiful beaches in the world... and it has a constant, cold, 20mph wind 

C6 and QJ where also there. We spent part of the weekend hanging out with them.

Years ago C6 had a heart transplant. Late last summer C6 had COVID and recovered from it. Afterwards, his rejection numbers for his heart started to go up-- his body has started to reject his heart. He has had several changes in treatment since then. Still his rejection numbers are going up.

This winter, C6 and QJ are planning a trip of a lifetime. Tierra Del Fuego, Patagonia, Galapagos Islands, Machu Picchu and more. They asked us if we want to join them, even for just a few days. I seriously think we should. C6 may not be long for this world.

The World is returning to normal for both of us. The husband has started regularly traveling for work again.  Next week, I have an "Onsite" day at the office with the other leaders/managers in my organization. 

Simple problem like "who takes the dog for her afternoon walk?" are starting to complicated things. There used to be a doggie day care near us. They unfortunately closed during the pandemic. That leaves us scrambling when we need to find a dog walker for an afternoon.

First world struggles.

When do I become old? When did my music become old?

I have a niece I text every now and then. She likes to talk about music and who she listens to. Always someone trendy and sexy.

She asked me who I was listening to. I said "Talking heads"

"Who?"

"You know, Burning Down the House, Psycho Killer."

"Ok. Never heard of them but job uncle."

Sigh. These songs aren't really that lost and forgotten, are they?

On the hummingbird photos-- it took several days and over one hundred pictures to capture the six I posted. Hummingbirds *are* flighty and fast creatures. The good photos took as much luck as anything else.

The husband's step-niece, SS, spent the weekend with us.  SS is lovely. She likes to be engaged in conversation alot. I almost wrote that she talks a lot, but that's wrong. She spends a fair amount of time asking deep questions... getting to know you. That makes the whole experience that much more tiring for me. I need social downtime. 

We had a good tour of Seattle. We saw the sights, walked the walks and ate too much.

The husband and SS spent much time discussing being adult children of alcoholics. This is complicated. Some of their past history is harrowing. 

The camera is setup on my desk and pointed out the window at the hummingbird feeder. I've taken hundreds of pictures over the past week. These are the few that turned out.

The Rufous is orange. The Anna is green. They will occasionally duke it out. I'd love to capture that. 

I can't tell if there is more than one rufous. Is the rufus in the first photo the same as the rufous in the last?

It's been a tough week at work. Our company was hacked. It's made the news. Seven people in the UK have been arrested as a result. Our company is a little tone-deaf in the public handling of the issue.

Fortunately my division was not part of the hack. Just sitting in a front row seat, watching it all happen. As a middle manager, I must project a positive and forward looking attitude to all of this. That can be tough.

I love that the husband keeps in touch with so many people. I have hermit tendencies. Left to my own devices I stay at home. I enjoy the solitude. I also enjoy the husband bringing people in to my life.

We had a few of the husband's oldest friends over for dinner. My husband went to grade school with M&M (who are sisters) back where he grew up in the south. Years later one of the sisters moved to Seattle. The husband and she have kept up their friendship ever since.

For the third year now, we have a rufous hummingbird in our back yard. I first noticed Rufous at the start of the pandemic. The window in my home-office looks out at our hummingbird feeder.

Rufous can live to be eight years old, so this could be the same one.

I threw out our old hummingbird feeders and purchased new ones. The old ones were fading. My theory is that the hummingbirds are attracted to bright colors. As old feeders fade, they should be replaced. 

Or repainted? Googling around, I see that some people repaint their older feeders to help attract hummingbirds.

The mask ordinance is over in our county. People may optionally mask. There's no requirement to do so.

It feels a little dirty to be in a store without a mask. About half the people in the grocery store were without a mask. 90% or more In the hardware store

Many people are still masking in restaurants.  This is weird as you only wear your mask from the front desk to your table. I would've thought that masks would go quickly in restaurants.

Through the pandemic I have not had a cold or a flu or a sore throat. These inconveniences are the price to pay for going maskless.

We are back. I enjoyed our ski trip to Park City. 

Park City has an elevation of about 7000 feet above sea level. The air is noticeably more thin. My pulse goes up a good 10%. You can get winded with ordinary walking. 

I had my annual physical exam today. It went well.  My cholesterol is almost at the level where the Dr. would like me to go on medication, but not just yet. I've got another year to get it down.

We are in Park City for a few days. Today the weather was wonderful. Spring conditions. 

our old friend Bayley is here with us. Things are going well with her. 

Errands over the weekend. Saturday I had breakfast with C2 and picked up my snowboard bindings from the ski shop. Wednesday we are heading down to Park City Utah for a few days of fun on the hills. I think we now have everything we need for the trip.

Lunch Saturday with the Mother-in-law. She had many opinions because of the Ukrainian crisis. I do my best to not engage her on politics, though she is more interested in blame and finger pointing that discussing what should be done.

Sunday evening we had the Allen and Evan over for games and dinner. 

Lately, I've been feeling a little like I've been in a rut. Not depressed but a little blue. C2 and I were discussing this over breakfast. He is in a similar situation. A little blue yet we are both well off. We are both financially secure and have great places to live. 

No path forward other than "Suck it up butter cup."

Yesterday I binge watched season 4 of The Good Place, and the last season of Rick and Morty. Maybe I have a short attention span. 

The last episode of the Good Place was very sweet.

Tonight I'm listening to music and writing a little. I'm  want to stay away from TV and the social media. This is hard. Some how, every time I try to purge work-email, I end up flipping over to Facebook and Twitter.

Weekend was good. Friday we saw the Seattle Symphony with Troupe Vertigo. Basically, classical music with acrobats. Fun.

Sunday we had dinner at the mother-in-laws. 

Monday, the husband left for Atlanta for work for a week. I relaxed yesterday. I intended on doing a few personal projects. Mostly I binge watched TV. In the evening I had dinner with C2. 

C2 has finished his move to the Capital Hill neighborhood of Seattle. We dropped by, saw his place and had dinner with him.

When I moved to Seattle almost twenty five years ago it was Seattle's gay neighborhood. It had many gay bars. Buildings were older and not always well maintained. 

I haven't been to Capital Hill in years. Between the pandemic, the black-lives-matter protests, living in the outer suburbs, and my relationships, there never was a reason to visit.

Now C2 lives there. And I see that Capital is really hopping! Gentrified. Half of the older building have been replaced by condos. The existing older buildings frequently host nice clubs, restaurants and shops. The streets are busy. Lots of people walking around and enjoying themselves.

Kudos to Seattle. 

My knee is almost back to normal. I can walk up and down stairs just fine. I still feel pain in my knee when I kick something with side of my foot.

It's been a social weekend. Thursday we had dinner with my old boss and his wife. After he left our old company, he opened up a cruise ship center. And then COVID hit. Business is slow. He has used COVID as an opportunity to buy up other cruise ship centers in that franchise. Good for him, though he is much more of a risk taker than I.

Saturday we brought the mother-in-law out to a nice dinner on the waterfront. She hasn't been away from her retirement home in a while. She appreciated the change.

Sunday we had dinner with Yo and the Angel. They are moving the Angel's mother to Seattle, so we discussed all the logistics that we had to go through. Shutting down the mother's house-- finding a place in Seattle-- correcting all the paper work, the insurance. Overall, moving the Angel's mother to Seattle is a good idea for them.

 > I regret not learning to ski when I was younger. I've only gone once in my life. Now, I have decided the experience would not be worth the pain of learning. But a hot tub and a cabin would be fun.

There is wisdom in that. I enjoy snowboarding. It's an expensive hobby and you spend the first year falling alot. 

This past weekend was the husband's birthday.  The two of us, plus three friends rented a cabin in the mounts and went skiing for a couple of days.

And yes, it wasn't good for my struggling knee.

Also, my binding broke and I spent too much time finding alternate gear.

But, we ate well at night. And the birthday was much fun.

The husband and I have started working on our wills. Most of our will is straight forward-- if I die my possessions go to him. He makes my health care decisions if I am unable to respond.

And he me should the situation is reversed.

What if we are both not dead, but can't respond? What if we are both in comas? The lawyer asked us to think that through. 

After a few days of contemplating, I asked C2 if he would handle my health care directive if the husband was not able. 

I asked "Could you pull the plug on me?"

He responded "Oh yeah. I'd want the same."

That's what friends are for.

We went snowboarding Thursday night. And I hurt my knee. For now I'm just icing it, and keeping weight off of it.

The husband and I both bought new skis and snowboards. So we have been trying to hit the hills. Last Sunday we drove to a local ski hill with C6. That ski hill had a large power outage just before we arrived. Power wasn't returned till the next morning.

Later today we are going to try night skiing. The weather looks bad. We shall see.

We had dinner with C2 last night. C2 has spent the last week moving into his new apartment and visiting his father in hospice. C2 is frustrated with his father's inability to die. C2's father just lays there like a vegetable. He eats every 2nd day or so. He defecates. That's it. No communication. He's not on life support. He's not on life sustaining medications. He just lays there.

When I think about my future, my end-of-life, I always assume I'm going to be able to talk until I die-- to communicate my wishes. If I turned into a vegetable, at some point I'd hope someone would give me end-of-life medications. Will doctors allow that? Our state allows assisted suicide. However, you must be awake and able to communicate. You must take the drugs yourself while an independent doctor watches. This is a complication for vegetables.

I need diet and exercise discipline that I don't abandon when we travel. At home I have no problems eating healthy, running and lifting weights regularly. 

When I travel... Exercise? Why? I'll catch up when I'm home. Dessert! Yes! Sure I'll take seconds. Oh, you want to get rid of the box of chocolates? Let me help!

It's good to be home. I love our bed. The dog was happy to see us. 

On the trip back we had about three hours of delays.

Now back to reality. I have gained about seven lbs. For the past two weeks I've indulged on sweets and fine food. The husband feels no sympathy for me. I don't have to eat every chocolate placed in front of me. That was my choice.

While we were away Seattle had a big dump of snow followed by floods. We seem to have avoided that. It's beautiful today. 

We have passed our COVID tests and made our way through Customs. The only things that can stop us now are the bad weather in Seattle or a screw up with the airlines.

I remain optimistic.

There were a few COVID travel learning lessons this time… maybe I don't need to spend two weeks in Ontario in the winter… That one sounds "well duh!"

The husband needs to get out for walks regularly. Pick places where we don't need long elevator rides.

We are still in Toronto. The week is a little frustrating. Omicron has caused the province to institute a lockdown-- indoor restaurant service is closed, so it's become difficult to meet up with old friends.

The husband is a real trooper here. He doesn't like being cooped up in our condo. The condo is OK, it's clean and quiet, but it's not set up for people to live and work for an extended period of time. He has been going for long walks in the afternoon to try and blow off some steam.

The night before the restaurant lockdown, the husband and went out for dinner with as many of my friends as were comfortable. We had an interesting discussion about COVID. These friends are all pro-science. Most of them are triple vaxed. They are all very tired of the lockdowns. This affects them more direct than I as many of them have kids and the lockdown means their children will now school from home.

There are no great answers here. I understand why someone would lash out against the restrictions. As Tommy says "it is what is is... Life Goes on... Life is OK."

 > Have a good 2022, if that is possible, Roderick. P.S

Hi Roderick! Welcome.

Bathwater, I see that people can reply to comments on your blog. How did you turn that on?

We are in Toronto now, visiting my old college buddies. We'e rented a condo workationing there for the week. 

I may have put my husband in a situation where he feels cooped up as the weather is cold so we can't get out of the condo that often.

Toronto is a bit more locked down than Seattle is. Even so, we have no problems going to restaurants. 

New Years Eve we went out for an outdoor light show at the Toronto Zoo. It was gorgeous.

Saturday was long walk along the waterfront with maybe a dozen other friends, their children and their spouses. Usually these friends have a large indoor New Years Day party. COVID canceled that (too many people indoors in one location) Hence the walk.

The walk felt good. For the past week I've been visiting, drinking coffee and eating sweets. Some activity is just what the doctor ordered.

Our home, Seattle has had a huge dump of snow. Toronto is above freezing and clear of snow. Our Toronto friends are bugging us about this.

Our aging parents is a large topic of conversation amongst my generation. We must love them and care for them while we can. 

For my future reference... all the people we visited last week...

Flew in Saturday the 25th. Flights were delayed and rescheduled owing to COVID, but we made it late in the day.

26th we drove to my brothers for a wonderful dinner. 

Monday... We had a social distant visit with my aunt R. She ended up being hospitalized later that day. Long story, but she is in her eighties and has been in and hospital for a while. 

Tuesday we visited my cousin B for coffee and then had dinner with my cousins A,A,H,M. 

H is a fine wood carver. He can make decoy ducks that almost look real. My parent's farm has a large bush around it. H and my Dad work together to fell the right trees and turn them into wood that H will later carve. He likes having access to the wood on their farm because he doesn't feel bad if he makes a mistake. Dad likes working with H to produce the wood.

Wednesday we cooked a nice lunch for my parents and my uncle J. In the afternoon we had coffee with a friend and old neighbor, N

Wednesday evening, the husband I took time off from visiting and had a great dinner at a local restaurant.

Thursday the husband and I had an outdoor visit with an old high school friend. In the afternoon we took care of mom while dad ran errands and visited my hospitalized aunt.

While we watched mom,, about every ten to fifteen minutes, mom would ask where dad was. We would patiently explain that he was visiting Aunt R. Mom would respond by telling us the same story about my aunt.