We are back in Seattle.

The mother-in-law will be here on Wednesday. She is here looking for a senior home to move into. She is 84 and living on her own. She recognizes that she is one bad day away from needing assistance. I'm thankful that she is doing this proactively and not after she's had another large physical meltdown.

So what kind of music am I catching up on?

Mostly I'm going through Jane Siberry. You would be forgiven if you've never heard of her. A few of her songs appeared in movies and on TV back in the 90s. She was never really a chart topper

Outside of her 'popular' songs Siberry did many experimental albums and collaborations with other artists. I'm listening to those.

Work offices are now now open at 20% capacity. If we are vaccinated, then we don't have to wear a mask.

Maybe I'll start going in one day a week. I intend to work from home as much as possible. 

The husband is still away. He should return from his meetings on Thursday.

In the evenings I've been obsessively listening to music. Catching up on the bands that I stopped listening to after I grew up and developed an adult taste in music. Playing online games. Eating every sweet in the house. Adulthood returns tomorrow.

The husband is away working for a few days. Meeting his team for the first time since COVID. He is near LA, while I stay in San Diego and take care of the cat. 

This evening was the first time the cat let me touch her.

What have I been doing? The time goes so fast. Work soaks up most of the day. I have no problems occupying my evenings. Either more work. Or play games with friends. 

The weather in San Diego is pleasant.

That cat has shown herself. Just in brief flashes as she runs from her hiding spot to her food. She will not be cuddling with us anytime soon. I am happy that the cat is still alive.

The husband and I have been touring the city. Hiking the parks. Walking along the beaches. Sunday we went to the zoo. This is a nice getaway. Tomorrow works starts again.

We are down in San Diego for another Workation. A friend who lives in SD needed a house sitter for a week. The husband arranged for a team meeting nearby. And so we are here.

In theory we are house sitting to take care of a cat. I haven't seen the cat in over a day. I only know it's still here because something is using the litter box. The owner says this is to be expected. The cat is very timid. A literal fraidy cat. The owner says it will take a day or two for the cat to warm up to us. Until then just clean the litter box, keep the food and water topped up, and watch out for cat vomit.

We had a wonderful long weekend. Now that most of us are vaccinated, we spent much of it catching up with old friends.

Saturday.... Saturday was Bate's last work day. He is now retired. He is (was?) a train engineer. We met him at the end of his run. Then we went out for dinner and drinks with a few of his friends.

Bates is excited for his retirement. He and his husband are traveling for the next few months. Then he is volunteering with a few west coast train clubs.

Sunday was the annual bear pool party at C1's and QJ's. It was very well attended. We saw old acquaintances for the first time since COVID.

Monday we kayaked again. The Brother-In-Law gathered a few of his friends and we had a small picnic at his row club.

I am the big 51 now. The husband did a great job of ensuring I had a fun few days. Thursday we had a nice dinner out, just the husband and I.

Friday we had dinner out with Yo and the Angle. We had a great time, but I drank *way* too much. On the drive home the husband had to pull over and let me vomit.

Thank you husband for being patient with me. In general, people in AA have no patience or sympathy for those who are drinking too much. Nor should they.

Saturday-- dinner with Clem and Bates. Margaritas. Bates is going to retire next week. He has elaborate post retirement plans. More at those later.

Sunday-- BBQ with the AA friends.

 

Life in the Seattle suburbs continues.

A sick coworker returned to work today. He told me that he has now had COVID twice. Second time was worse than the first. He had to travel back and forth to India for family reaons, so this is a special circumstance and not wanton masklessness.

Tommy reminds me that many gay men are not gainfully using their lives. Some are choosing suicide by neglect. Tommy's experience is not unique. I know many gay men who would rather drink and party than do something that's a little like work.

Let me look at my Brother's Facebook feed…. Yes he is still posting these strained anti-establishment/anti-mask/pro-gun memes.

I don't have it in me to be angry at all this craziness. I don't know why. I have heard that sometimes I act like I don't care about the world. And I can see why. 

For a long time, since I was a kid, I've known that I can choose what I get angry at. With all the crazy in this world, angry won't help. So I just move on and live how I believe is right.

 

 

On Friday, our last day in the Bay Area, we hiked around with Mm. It was good to see her. She has had a tough year, but things are looking up for her.

Now we are on our way home. I really enjoyed our time away. I am looking forward to our own bed.

I like that we could take our time with this trip. No rushed long weekend. No getting up at 4am to catch a 6am flight so we could have a good full day. We traveled during the day. We spent a few extra days to make up for it. We didn't have to run. We could linger. Worked when we needed. Spend time with the family. See the sights and then head back.

We will do these working vacations again a few times this summer. In June we will house and pet watch for a friend. Then, when Canada opens up, I will fly up there to visit my parents. 

Last night, the husband took me out for a nice dinner in Sausalito. Sausalito is a cute city just north of San Francisco, on the other side of the Golden Gate Bridge.

After dinner we toured around the Marin Headlands, trying to catch a view of the Golden Gate. 

We are on to the second half of our workation. We have left the family in Sacramento and are spending a few days at a nice B&B in San Rafael. 

Before we left Sacramento, the mother-in-law and the husband had a good chat. A needed talk. Just as his father did, just as any elderly person will, she is one bad day away from needing a different plan.

She had a fecal scan for colon cancer and it came back positive. She has COPD, so it’s risky to put her under for a full colorectal exam. Alternatives are being explored. It could be serious, or it could be one bad polyp that can be clipped. She has no blockage right now and is feeling as good usual. So here she is, one bad day away from needing a different plan.

"This expired in 2007." The husband is looking at a bottle of Tylenol. He has a stomach ache and asked his mother if she had anything for it. The mother-in-law gave the tylenol from her medicine cabinet.

"It should still be OK. Let me see if I have anything else." Mother-in-law looks though her medicine cabinet again. "How about this.. it only expired last month."

When we visit the mother-in-law, she always gives us some of her stuff. This time it's cookbooks. Many of these are charming 60s and 70s cookbooks. I love the audacity of "Meals that Heal" with waffles on the cover, and cancer curing casseroles inside. 

The salad has lemon jello, lime jello, crushed pineapple, shredded cucumber, mayonnaise and horseradish. We are in Sacramento visiting the mother-in-law. She is cooking for us.

We are here on a workation. We will be in Sacramento for a little over a week to visit in-laws, yet neither of us have taken time off from work. I am fine with that. By day I can work in the hotel. In the evenings we will have dinner with the mother-in-law. This is a good balance.

Over the weekend, the brother-in-law took us kayaking. Backing up-- the brother-in-law found an inexpensive rowing club near him. He applied for, and became a member.

The rowing club is not in a building-- it's in a building boat that floats on the lake. What's a building boat? Well, you know house boats like they have in "Sleepless in Seattle" this is similar, except it's a whole small office building. 

To keep it's tax-status as a boat, once a year the building-boat has to be disconnected from the land and floated around the lake. Apparently this is a big celebration for row-club members, but a big stress for its management.

Back to us, Saturday the brother-in-law checked out kayaks and the three of us paddled along the lake. Very tranquil unless a big boat powers by.

I am powerless over free chocolate, cake or ice cream. Put a price tag on it and I can abstain. Tell me that there is left over cake in the garbage can and... well... more on that later...

Last weekend was Evan's Birthday. He rented a cottage at the ocean and invited us along. To celebrate, the husband brought along a huge, delicious take. We ate away at it the whole weekend. Really we gorged on it. Slices after dinner on Friday, for breakfast Saturday and then after dinner. More again for breakfast on Sunday.

It was huge. It was rich. It was delicious. 

On Sunday as we were leaving, Evan threw the last slice out. This lead to my afore mentioned garbage can diving.

We lucked out at the ocean. We experienced a freak April heatwave with low 70s temps and non-stop sun. Many of the restaurants where overwhelmed. Usually at this time of the year it's 50 degrees and cloudy and the Ocean Shore restaurants are staffed for that. On Friday, at the first restaurant that we approached, the hostess quickly announced "It's going to be 90 minutes to sit at a table and an hour for take out." I am happy she was honest with us.

A dear friend of the husband is moving to Oklahoma. Why Oklahoma? It's inexpensive. Decent houses are affordable. 

The friend is trying to entice us to move there... "There are gay people there," she said. "We bought our house from a gay man who said he had no problems fitting in."

To be honest, until this friend mentioned Oklahoma, I knew very little about it. It's somewhere in the middle of the country. There is a musical named after it.

This move touched a nerve in the husband. Where do we want to live when we retire? We started a good conversation.

The husband feels untethered. While we both have careers in Seattle,  we have more friends and family away from Seattle than within. He have a lovely house here. It's much larger than we need, especially after we hit our 70s. Another move is in our future. It may be a decade away, but it's there.

He pointed out that many of my best friends are still in Toronto. If we moved there, my social life could easily improve.

The Husbands friends are more distributed across the country. He has some family in California. They are mostly elderly. 

Nothing really holds him to Seattle and there is no clear place that calls him.

Since we both can work remote, we discussed using that privilege more-- especially as COVID eases. Perhaps we could spend a month in Arizona. Or New Mexico.

I'm also open to working for a month from Central or South America. Logistically that doesn't work for the Husband as his job sometimes requires travel in the U.S.

This past Saturday, the husband organized a community food drive. It went well. We delivered 5 SUVs full of groceries to a local food and clothing bank.

We got to meet many of our neighbors in the process.

It's been a little more spring like this past week. You can sit out side for a while without being chilled.

We had an in-person Easter brunch yesterday. Everyone had different numbers of vaccines in their system. Some had one J&J. Others one Monderna. Technically we were flouting the COIVD guidelines. It felt good to see old friends in person.

The husband has organized a food drive for the local foodbank. Sunday afternoon we picked up food from a friend who has hording tendencies.  We know her though AA. She is getting her life back on track. But, man-o-man she has a lot of stuff in her apartment. We filled the back of the husband's SUV with canned and dried goods that she finally admits she has no need of. We could have filled another SUV and she still would have had plenty to eat for a month.