Many mornings, kids on ponies walk by the house. I wonder what that's about? It may be some sort of retarded child program. The ponies have 3 adults alongside. One adult will have her hand on the child. They never go faster than a slow stroll. Yet, despite all these precautions, the child will wear a helmet.

Steven and I had dinner over at C3's. It was a quiet evening. I needed it. I've been working long hours. On top of that I was helping Steven move.

Steven has finished moving in. It's been a crappy few days for him.

The mover he hired flaked out. Steven scrambled, but managed to find another mover.

The telephone company didn't hook up his buisness line.

Also, the sale of his house fell through. He's thinking about renting out the house. Maybe FSBO too.

I played hockey last night. We lost 6-4. Only one goal went in while I was on the ice.

Bleah...

The sale of Steven's house is falling though. The buyer couldn't get the financing she needed. At least Steven will get to keep the escrow deposit.


Steven is bummed about it.

Old photo's....

Saturday night, Steven showed me some 12 year old pictures. He's changed a lot. Now he is a muscle bear. 12 years ago he was a thin twink. Now he has a shaved head and a beard. Then he was clean shaven and had a full head of hair.

When we mentioned that to Mac, he got out his old photos. Now Mac is stalky, hairy, bearded and has short hair. Then he we thin, smooth, and had big poofy eighties hair.

Steven and Mac are almost unrecognizable from their older photos. Their faces are almost the same, but everything else has changed.

Saturday, C2 and I worked on the deck. He didn't say more about flaking out on Thursday.

Saturday night, Vic, Paul, Mac, Joe and I had dinner together.

Sunday, the gang had breakfast at Mac and Joe's

Sunday, I bought some career guidance books. I've been bored with my job, and it's affecting my productivity. I'm trying to figure out what to change.

Sunday night it was back to Mac and Joe's to see the final eppisode of Sex and the City It wasn't that good.

Hmmm.

Survivor Potluck was last night. In the afternoon, C2 email and said he was going to show up. But, then he didn't. He didn't return my call either.

Today I got this email from him...

From: "C2"
To: "BC"
Subject: RE: Survivor potluck

Barry,
It wasn't a good day. I'm a bit bummed, stuff. My apologies if I caused
any problems.

R/C2

I'm annoyed that he didn't call and cancel. He's never flaked out on me before. We delayed dinner about an hour waiting for him.

He's not telling me what he's bummed about. I suspect it's being single. I know that the couples can get on his nerves.

Here's a good career rule-- always have a book on your desk, that makes it look like you are reading how to do a better job. You don't have to read the book. It just has to be there. Keeping up appearences so to speak.

I've accidentaly applied the above rule. My manager noticed and gave me a complement.

Just had a weird lunch conversation with my co-workers. Most of my co-workers are very small, or very tall. Over lunch we were complaining about how hard it is to find good extra-small or extra-long clothing. The normal sized people started bitching about how hard it is to find extra-medium sizes.

Ok, I guess you had to be there.

Played hockey last night. We won 4-3.

Matt and Sandy found two houses that the like. Today they are making an offer on one of them.

Steven just left a message. For Valentines, Vic gave Steven a gold ring.

I guess they are getting married.

I have a bit of a cold so I stayed in Friday evening.

Saturday, I hung around with C2. We worked on the deck for a bit. In the evening, we watched a movie ( Once Upon a Time in Mexico) and played chess.

I haven't played chess in years. It was hard to think 'chess' again. The game was a draw. At about midnight, C2 said "I want to go home, and this game is taking too long."

Survivor potluck was last night. Mac and John arrived first. We had a somewhat weird conversation.

I met Mac shortly after he met John. The two weren't dating yet, but there were some sparks between them. At the time, I didn't know that, so I gave Mac my number. Last night Mac told me, infront of John, that he seriously considered calling me.

John said he knew that Mac was interested in me, so at first he was very aprehensive about hanging out with me.

Oh well.

Dinner was good. We watched the Spongmonkeys. They were originally an internet cartoon before they were turned into a Quizno's ad

Last night Steven moved some stuff to my place. We don't call him the fancy fella for nothing. He's bringing over much nice stuff-- art, furiture, candle holders, nick nacks, kitchen supplies. It's changing the look of my house. It's going from simple rustic to "gay"

Edwin (My house cleaner, and Steven's ex) is helping Steven pack. He sighed that my house used to be so easy to clean.

I had a date last night. A real bonnified get-to-know-him date. Not a sex first, ask questions later meeting. That was the first time in months that I've been on a date.

He's a nice guy. He's from Portland but work brings him to Seattle regularly. We met a few months ago at Movie Bears and kept in touch.

It sounds like he's just comming out of the closet. He doesn't go to any Portland area gay bars. He used to be married.

I'll keep in touch.

Steven has started moving his stuff over to my place.

Matt and Sandy are house hunting. Sandy is a bit uncertain about the process. He's comming up with weird ideas that are slowly being squashed. His first instinct was to make lowball offers on many different properties. He has now learnt 1. That he does want to live in many of the places. 2. Most homes go for their asking price. 3. Making lots of offers pisses off the agent because of the paper work involved.

Yesterday, C2 and I worked on the back deck. We poured most of the hot tub pad. I never realized how hard it is to pour level, flat cement. On top of that cement eats your clothing and your skin.

In the evening Matt, Sandy and I hung out with Mac and John on their boat.

Later on I went out to the Cuff. Terry was out by himself. I wonder if he's single again. I wonder a lot of things about Terry. There is nothing I can do. Two years ago when I asked Terry out, he didn't say no. He said he wasn't ready yet. A couple of weeks later Terry met a guy feel in love, fell out of contact. Till now.

Had a big Survivor Potluck last night. (Mac, John, Behr, the Fireman, Matt, Sandy, Bruce, C3, Steven and the Tease)

Most of the guys left at 10pm, Behr and the Fireman stayed till 1am. We watched weird Internet films and played XBox.

John was just laid off. He works part time for a couple more weeks, but that's it. I wonder how Mac feels now. Both his room mates (John and Behr) are unemployed.

Today John got the bounced cheque in the mail.

He said this....

>Barry,
>
>I got your check in the mail. It says returned for NSF and is stamped Fraudulent. It's check # XX on an YYYYYYY Bank account.
>
>I'll bring it to you tomorrow night. See ya then.
>
>John :-)

Weird. I wonder what made them think the cheque was Fraudulent.

Lol. Steven is not my Sugar Daddy. Steven is an great friend. His partner Vic, lives about 4 hours away in Cananda.

Steven wants to move to Cananda. But the necessary paper work has not been approved. Until then he wants to save money and sell his house. This way, when he is approved, he can quickly move and have some cash until he finds a new job.

D'oh. I bounced a cheque to John. John is organizing a group vacation to Mexico. I gave him a cheque to pay for my share. The cheque bounced. I'm not sure why; my account has enough money in it. Maybe I wrote "2003" instead of "2004"

Everyone knows. The bank won't say who bounced the cheque, just the dollar amount. Since we all wrote cheques for the same amount, we all had to call each other and say "My cheque has cleared. Has yours?" Mine was the only cheque that hasn't cleared.

I know the gang is going to harass me. I've been thinking up snappy comebacks...

"If we split the restaurant bill everyone owes $15.00"
"I'll be right back. I have to rob a corner store."
or
"Would you take a cheque?"

Monday night I had dinner with Steven. It looks like he's sold his house. He'll be moving in with me before March. We worked out the details, like rent, shared food & cleaning. I'm looking forward to it!

Played hockey last night. We lost 1-0. A very tight game.

Yesterday I was over at C6 and Silent J's for a Super Bowl party. It was fun. A few of the party bears was there, so was Scottie. I met Scottie in December and I think he's very cute. I called him and sent him some email, but he never replied. At the party he was very kissy and huggy with one of the party bears.

Oh well.

C2 is better.

I was out of town for a few days. Steven, Vic and I went snowboarding at Big Sky in Montana. It was a great weekend.

I lucked out. It was a busniness trip for Steven. So, he picked up my hotel, air fare and most of my meals. Thank you very much Steven!

I had fun snowboarding. Steven also tried to snowboard, though he's a bit new at it. I don't think his equipment is right, he kept getting cramps in his feet. Next time, I supect he'll ski along with Vic.

Big Sky is 8000' above sea level. The air is thin. It can freek you out. Ordinary motion like standing up can leave you short of breath.

C2 is back in the hospital. He had an alergic reaction to the antibiotic. Also, the bacteria infecting the bites is much worse than they originally thought.

He doesn't want to stay overnight in the hostpital. I'm hoping he does.

C2 is ok. He needs rest and is on an antibiotic. The doctor said he had Brown Recluse Spider bites.

Played hockey last night. We tied 2-2.

C2 is very sick. About a week ago, he said he got two big spider bites. A large puss-filled bump formed on his leg. Another on his ass. A few days later he developed flu like symptoms. This morning C2 went to the doctor. The doctor sent him to the emergency room. He's on the way over right now.

I hope everything goes ok. C2 doesn't have health insurance.

Had a quiet day yesterday. I cleaned the house. Found two lost cheque's. replaced the keg (Yes my house has a keg)

I don't drink that much beer-- I last replaced the keg back in October. It's just cool to invite friends over to drink from the tap.

I didn't even go out last night. Instead, I read, showered and hit the sack.

I'd like to find a boyfriend. I haven't dated in months. Before Christmas I met three guys. I thought I'd get at least one romantic date out of it, but nothing. All three fell out of touch. I have a rule-- if a man doesn't return my calls, I stop the chase. I'll only call him twice, about a week apart.

I still keep in touch with JD, the married man from St. Louis. He's going to be in Portland next weekend, but I couldn't make it. We exchanged the following non-love-lets-be-friends-but-would-like-more letter.


----- Original Message -----
From: JD
To: Barry
Sent: Friday, January 23, 2004 2:58 PM
Subject: RE: sorry it's been so long!

I hear ya - enjoy ur weekend buddy

-----Original Message-----
From: Barry
Sent: Thursday, January 22, 2004 2:56 PM
To: JD
Subject: Re: sorry it's been so long!

Thanks JD. You're a good man too. Too bad circumstances are not different.

Barry.

----- Original Message -----
From: JD
To: Barry
Sent: Thursday, January 22, 2004 1:53 PM
Subject: RE: sorry it's been so long!

Hey no problem - thought it was too short notice anyway ? just wanted u to know that even though I may be out of sight not out of mind bud - ur a nice man.

JD

-----Original Message-----
From: Barry
Sent: Thursday, January 22, 2004 10:38 AM
To: JD
Subject: Re: sorry it's been so long!

Hey John.

Sorry I can't make it down to Portland next week. It would have been good to see you again. What's your schedule like over the next few months?

Barry

Had potluck last night. John couldn't make it because of work. C2 couldn't make it because he's hurt his leg.

Other than the regulars ( Matt, Sandy and Mac) Bruce, C3 and the Tease showed up. We had some poor communications over the food. We ended up with two green bean casseroles, two loaves of bread plus corn bread, and two salads.

I have to be more forceful about organizing the food.

The Tease stayed for a while after everyone left. We just talked, but there's always the possibility that he'll start kissing.

He mention that we both need shirtless photos (For internet swaps) he told me we should take some of each other-- Sundays work best for him. So he wants to play but he doesn't want strings. That's why he's the Tease.

Tonight I was at a gays-of-Newcastle potluck. I have two gay neighbors. They invited me and many of their local friends over.

It was a good party. Most of the attendies were couples in their 40s or 50s. Since I was the only single guy there, some of them started making plans to hook me up.

P&R, my neighbors are a good couple. P is very loud. R is more reserved. At one point while P was yacking loudly, a guest remarked to R, "I see why you make strong drinks."

Friday night we had dinner at the newly renovated Siams on Broadway. The owners were recently divorced. He got the Siam's on Lake Union. She got the Siams on Broadway. So, she decided to spruce the place up. It looks nice. Matt and C2 tried to get the owner to use a Thai Sauce that Matt makes. It's very good, but the owner said it was too Vietnamise.

Small world story. About a week ago, I had a date with a guy named Graham who's moving from the East coast, back to Seattle. Over dinner, J mentioned to C2 that their friend Graham was moving back from the East coast to Seattle. Now, I'm very curious how C2 and J know Graham.

Saturday morning, C2's car broke down in Olympia. I drove him back. We headed off to a board meeting for the Cafe. It's is growing slowly, though January will be in the black.

Saturday afternoon, C2 and I had coffee with Bruce. He and C3 are moving to Toronto. They will be out by Feb 10. It was kind of odd talking to Bruce. He and I used to be best friends. Now I only hear from him when he needs something.

Saturday evening, I went to the Cuff. I ran into Terry and his partner. This is the 3rd week in a row that I've seen Terry at the Cuff. I wonder what gives. Years ago I had a crush on Terry. In fact, my frustration with him is one of the reasons I started this journal. After he found his partner, he kind of vanished. Maybe their new years resolution is to go dance regularly.

Sunday morning, Mac, John, Matt and Sandy had breakfast at my place. After that, C2 and I did errands-- hauled some wood around and brought concrete back to my place. C2 gave me a neon beer sign for the bar. It was from Siam's and was left over after the remodel.

Weirdness...

I read a minimalist comic called "death to the extremist" The author of the comic wrote that he was suffering from writes block and asked people to send in suggestions.

I suggested a flash back episode showing the growth of the characters. That's what he did. In fact the email quoted in the third last panel is mine.

Played hockey last night. We tied 3-3.

Afterwards, we went out for drinks at a casino&bingo-hall next to the arena. It was midnight, on a Tuesday, in the middle of suburban Seattle and the casino was full!

A co-workers two year old child has learnt to say the F-Word. He doesn't know what it means. He knows that it gets a reaction. He says it over and over like a parrot.

"Fuck Off. Fuck Off. Fuck Off. Fuck Off."

The last time they were on a jet, the child swore the whole way. She tried to muffle the sound by placing her hand over his mouth, but he just kept saying it louder and more distinctly.

Last night Mulligan (C2's landlord) invited, Steven and I over for dinner. Mulligan's friends, Pot-head and E-head where also there.

It was an odd dinner. The conversation was stilted. Immediately after dinner, E-head announced "I'm tired, I'm going to leave." and so he did.

A few minutes later, Pot-head said "I hate Tapioca (the dessert). So, I'm going to leave too." And then he did.

C2, Steven, Mulligan and I talked a while longer. I don't like Mulligan's friends.

Steven, Vic and I went to the Cuff. We ran into the Tease. Well, after Steven and Vic went home, the Tease and I started necking. We danced and then we necked some more.

We talked. He gave me some bull shit excuse about why we weren't dating. We kissed a bit more and then he went home.

I'd be frustrated except I knew that's how it was going to end. He is 'the Tease' after all.

Sweet and Low.

Steven was out of town for business and wouldn't get back till 10pm. Vic arrived in Seattle earlier, so C2 and I took him out for dinner. We had a good time.

After dinner we played "What would Dan Say" and read that Sweet 'N Low makes your piss sweet. Aparanetly it can't be digested by the body, so it flows straight though to your urine.


The next morning Steven called. He said they hand't tried Sweet 'N Low, but a French Vanilla Latte Made Vic taste great

C2 and I don't know if that's the truth or a good yarn.

C2 came over for dinner last night. Afterwards we went shopping (!?!) and I bought some shirts. C2 is trying to ween me off flannel shirts.

After that, we watched Ghost World. It's a strange movie. It's not bad, and parts of it are very good, but it doesn't really flow.

Last night I saw Cold Mountain with the Movie Bears and C2. C2 liked it. It didn't really click with me. I didn't care what happened to any of the characters. All these random little things happened that filled up the time, but it didn't tell a larger overall story.

Afterwards, C2 and I went to the Cuff. We ran into Behr there.

The Watch-- Months ago I had a one night stand with a traveling salesman from California. I accidentally left my watch in his hotel room. He was at the Cuff last night, and he returned my watch! It was a bit embarrassing. C2 and Behr saw him slip me the watch and figured out what happened.

Snow turned to rain and sleet. Last night was trecherous driving. My power went out. Large branches are falling off of trees because of the weight of the ice.

I spent some of last night with the Doctor. The Doctor is a fuck buddy that I see about once a year. He has a partner in an open relationship. The partner was out town. He was feeling lonely/horny. So was I. blah, blah, blah.

It's snowing. Many people are staying home from work-- especially people from southern states. The northerners and the Canadians are in.

It took me over an hour to get to work. My usual commute is 25 minutes.

Steven came over for dinner tonight. It was good to talk to him. I won't see him again for about a week. He's out of town for work, then he's going to Victoria to spend time with Vic.

My ex, Brian, called. He's moving from Seattle to Las Vegas. He's ready to leave but some of the mountain passes between here and Vegas are closed and he's stuck till they open.

He told me that I was the only happy gay man that he knew. He is not very happy with being gay. He wants a partner so bady, but can't find one that meets his standards.

He also said that he's mellowing out. One of the reasons we ended was that he's a big fighter. He said that's changed. He also said that any time I was in Vegas, I could stay with him.

I'll miss Brian. But, I don't want to patch things up with him. I wish him the best.

Saturday afternoon Sandy, Steven and I saw Bad Santa, a very dark, very funny Christmas movie about a drunk, depressed, Sanata who cracks safes and robs people.

Afterwards we had dinner and drinks together. Steven and Sandy went home. Sandy wanted to stay with Matt who has hurt his foot. Steven is having some post-holiday blues-- back to work, plus he doesn't get to be with Vic for a week. He misses Vic.

I went to the Saturday Bear Bust at C.C.'s The place was packed. After that I went to the Cuff, and ran into Behr, Mac and John. The Tease wasn't there. His Grandmother died on Saturday.

Sunday I had breakfast with the gang. Afterwards Mac, John and I drove down to their new boat. It's huge! It easily sleeps eight. Matt and Sandy joined us for a while and we chatted and planned what boat trips we are going to take this summer.

Tonight C2, Steven and I drove down to Tacoma for a houseparty at Brayon and Doug's. B&D are a good couple. I don't see them often enough. They want to adopt a child. They just recieved their foster parent license. At this point it will take anywhere from 3 months to 3 years for them to get a child.

More snow. Seattle hasn't had this much snow in years.

I had dinner tonight at Mac and Johns. Afterwards we hit their hot tub. The gentle snow made it perfect hot tubbing weather.

We also watched Winged Migration. It has some amazing shots in it. Many closeups of birds while they are flying.

Happy New Years. I'm having a lazy day.

The snow melted by late afternoon. Although it's snowing again right now.

For New Years eve I went to a large house party. I drove Sandy. Matt couldn't come because he's hurt his foot. The party was basically the movie-bear crowd. Behr was there.

After the party, I crashed at Sandy & Matt's. We invided C3 over and made breakfast.

Snow! A few inches of it. Right now, I'm basically trapped in my house My truck has problems dealing with the slippery hills around here.

My family is gone. I've been goofing off.

Monday night I had dinner with C2, Matt and Sandy. Afterwards we watched part of Angles in America. It's good, but it's not the all time great show that it's been hyped as.

Took everyone to the Snoqualmie Falls today. We had a good hike.

For dinner I took everyone to Outback Steakhouse. It's odd bringing my family out to dinner. My parenents rarely go to a restaurant, so any restaurant is a treat. My brother is a long distance truck driver, so he's used to eathing truct stop crap. So, they don't appreciate very nice restaurants. They look at the prices and howl. The Outback Steakhouse was a good comprimise.

My brother, his girlfriend and her daughter have arrived. We just chatted today.

I wanted to bring them to the Snoqualmie falls, but the girlfirend told me that we didn't have to travel. She just wanted to hang with me.

We watched American Beauty. It was kind of odd because during a few of the swearing scenes, the girlfriend and my mother talked about turning the movie off because it was too much.

Christmas went well. In the morning we exchanged gifts. I got a bottle of wine that my parents made from their own grapes, a home made teddy bear and some Christmas ornaments.

Afterwards, my parents and I went up the Space Needle.

In the evening, C2 came over and the four of us had Christmas Dinner together.

My parents like taking it easy. I wanted to go to Mt Rainier today, but my mother said that she didn't need to travel today.

Christmas Eve.

My parents and I took it easy today. It rained a lot so we didn't stay out doors long.

In the evening, my parents, C2 and I went to St Marks for a Christmas Eve service.

Afterwards I dropped my parents off at home Then I went to Matt and Sandy's for Christmas Eve drinks. Mac and John, C2, were there.

We exchanged gifts. C2 gave me a neon sign from Siam's (which is closed for remodeling) Mac and John gave me coffee. Matt and Sandy gave me cookies and a cast iron bear wall hanging.

I gave everyone maple-walnut fudge.

While we were transferring the neon sign from C2s car to my truck, C2 broke one of the tubes. I hope he doesn't feel bad about it. He really went out of his way to get me that sign.

Merry XMas everyone.

Today I took my parents to the Museum of Flight. My father used to make parts for jet planes, so it brought back some memories. The museum has a concord on display.

While we were at the Museum, C2 called me up and offered to call my parents and fake a work emergecy so I could get away for a while. I laughed and thanked him. But, I don't need that. My parents go to bed early since they are 3 time zones jet lagged.

Later on we did some Christmas shopping at Walmart. At Walmart, this really cute guy walked up to me and said "Hey Barry. How are you? Long time no see. How have you been?" We had small talk for a while, but I have no idea who he was. Which sucks, because he was really cute. I played it cool because I was with my parents, but I should have asked for his number.

Afterwards we had dinner and watched TV. Dad is a bit sick so he's sleeping a lot.

My parents are in town. They flew in today. They are here for a week. It's good to see them again. Although, the are uncomfortable around gay people. So, I will have to do a balancing act if/when I want to spend time with my friends.

Fortunatly, they are both 3 hours jet lagged. This means they will probably go to bed at 7pm or 8pm every night.

I played hockey tonight. We won 4-1.

Old friends...

Bruce and C3 are back in town. At least for a while. They are moving out at the end of January. It was odd. I haven't heard from them for months. Then out of the blue, C3 called me up and asked me if I wanted to go snowboarding on Sunday. Of course I said yes.

They've been through a lot. Bruce and C3 are both unemployed. C3 has a gig as crew in a movie, but the movie keeps getting pushed off. Apparently the star (Nick Nolte) is addicted and alcoholic. His irratic behaviour is jepordizing the project.

C3's mother died back in October. Dealing with her estate took a lot out of them.

Bruce now has a place in Hamilton Ontario. He's going though many job interviews. C3 told me to no take it personally that Bruce isn't trying to keep in touch with me. Bruce was fired from the company I work for. After that, he was kicked out of the U.S. because his work visa was only valid for that job. So, I remind him of many bad things.

C2, C3, Bruce and I had dinner at their place on Sunday night. It felt a bit like a funeral. Soon C3 and Bruce will be out of my life.

Matt and I saw The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. Mostly it was a good movie. Not a great movie. Just a good movie. It's a very long movie-- 3 hours and 20 minutes. The special effects were very good. But, so much happens that doesn't really matter. They fight a battle. Then they fight another battle. Then they fight some more. It makes the first battle pointless. You forget what it's all about.

The movie takes a long time to end. There is at least 30 minutes of denouement with six false endings. I thought "It's over now. No? Ok, now this is the end. Another scene? Is this the end? It can end now. Not another scene. Now this the end, right? More?" The audience started sighing every time another 'ending' scene started.

Played hockey last night. Bad game. We lost 6-2.

At work we've moved offices. My new office has better cell phone coverage. I'm also closer to my team, which is good because now I can participate in hallway conversations.

I found a large, old electrical capacitor in my back yard, when Harley saw it, he told me to be carefull. Many of the older capacitors contain PCBs

Harley (who works for the power company) sent me this...

I asked around about the capacitor. The consensus is that we dispose of it
secretly. If anyone is notified, it becomes an environmental problem that could
lead to a large investigation with excavation, and nobody wants that. If you
pick it up and store it, I would be willing to pick it up and dispose of it at
the proper facility, no questions asked. It may take me a while to stop by
since I'm back on shift, but we can figure that out later.

That's it for now, let me know what's next...

Saturday night, Steven and I partied late. We stayed at the cuff till about 3am.

Sunday I had a date with Harley. He's a nice guy. But, if things do work with us, it's going to go slow. Very slow. He's not quick to bed someone. Harley is 44 and said he's only had sex with 5 men his whole life.

Sunday evening was the Survivor Final Potluck. The winner was from Ft. Lewis Washington, which is about 30 minutes south of here.

Behr lost his job. His company closed down their Washington operations. I hope things go well for him.

Ok. I heard the story about the porn mag...

A couple of weeks ago, my contractors left a pornographic magazine laying on their table saw. Last night I ran into them at the Cuff and asked them about it. They both laughed and said it was the cabinet makers. When he was making some shelves for my bathroom, he wanted to make sure they were wide enough to hold two magazines. So, he got a magazine out of this truck....

Thursday night was Survivor potluck. John was a bit sick, so Mac and John left early. John has high blood pressure and is on medcation. He switched from brand name to generic. Unfortunatly the generic didn't have the same dose as the brand name, so his blood pressure skyrocketed.

Friday I helped Steven move a patio set from his ex's to one of the Bellevue blonde's. The woman's biological clock ticks very loudly and regularly. She's constantly making "marry me" and "baby" jokes to any man around her. It get's uncomfortable after a while.

Last night I saw The The Last Samurai with the movie bears. It's an ok movie. Unfortunately they tried too hard to give it a sad ending-- it ended up being cheesy.

After the movie I went to the Cuff and talked to the some of the guys on the Quake Rugby team. Tommy, Quake thanks you for buying a t-shirt!

I had dinner with Steven. He and Vic just got back from their Hawaiian cruise. Lucky dogs.

The cruise was mostly good. They went with some of Steven's family. The family drank a lot and was ungrateful. (Steven's father paid their way. )

Aside from the family they had an excellent time.

My bathroom is mostly done. Only the shower glass and the mirrors still need to be put in. It's looks beautiful.

Went down to SF for the weekend. I spent it with Andy. We had fun. I had a whirl wind romance. Easy come. Easy go.

Both Andy and I arrived on Friday evening. We had dinner together and he bitched about his BF. His BF is a recovering drug addict and is very hight maintenance.

After dinner, I went to the Lone Star Saloon and met SFB. He's a really nice guy. We ended up talking and kissing till 3am. We exchanged numbers and agreed to get together again on Sunday.

Saturday, Andy and I toured the Fisherman's Warf. Andy bought some expensive art. A limited edition Dr. Seuss print, and a beautiful painting of the a window with view of a meadow. The window/medow painting had a neat illusion. As you dimmed the lights, it would look 3-D, like the sun setting. The window frame was very dark and in a flat paint. The meadow was very light and in a glossy paint. As you dimmed the lights, the window would stay the same darkness, but the meadow would get darker, creating the illusion that you were looking out a real window.

Saturday night Andy wanted to go to my bars. He's interested in hairless twinks, so leather and bear bars are foreign to him. I brought him to the Lone Star. He was amazed how many fat and ugly guys there were. I had to agree with him. I also brought him to the Power House. That's a better place-- healthy looking clientel.

Sunday, Andy and I shopped a bit. Then we went to the SF Museum of Modern Art. Some good Art. A lot of bad art. The museum continued the museum tradition of talking about their artists without saying anything important.

For example, they had an exhibit of Diane Arbus photos. The chronical of her last year went..
1971...
Took such and such a photo in April.
Applied for a grant.
Took this photo next.
Commited Suicide.

Other than "Commited Suicide" they said nothing of her personal life. That bugs me.

Sunday evening I got back together with SFB. We started having fun. Then we talked about what would happen after I left. He told me he had no interest in having a long distance relationship. So, that ended that.

I went back to the hotel. Had some drinks with Andy and called it a night.

Last night my house had no power. We switched Surivor Potluck to Matt and Sandy's. I ended up spending the night their.

I'm heading down to San Francisco to spend the weekend with Andy. I'm looking forward to it. The weather here is crap.

Dan Savages's is up to it again. He's taken Senator Santorum's last name and is making it a dirty word... Santorum

We're having a big wind storm. Power has been out for many people. Around my house, many large tree branches have fallen down. At work today the wind broke a glass window pane. The wind twisted the tunnel the pane was in.

Played hockey tonight We won 3-0.

My bathroom is being remodeled. The contractors doing the job have set up shop in the carport. Tonight as I was hauling my hockey gear through the carport, I looked on their work bench and saw a porn mag-- Men's XXXtream.

I'm not sure how to approach this. I told Ryan about it. He suggested I buy stickers and cover up the naughty bits. I want to do that just for laughs, but it's too much work.

This raises some uncomfortable questions. I'm not offended by porn, but there is the issue of discretion. Could the neighbors see it? Is this an ongoing or a one time thing. Were they just looking at the magazine or did something else happen?

Do I ignore it? Do I mention it? Should I keep it and let them wonder?

I'll leave it on the bench and make a joke the next time I see them.

Thanksgiving dinners. And lots of them.

I spent Thursday with C2's family for their X-giving dinner. Lots of food. It was good dinner. C2 used me as an excuse to leave early.

Thursday evening we met up with Mat and hung around with him.

Thursday night my windsheild wipers died. Bleah. Wipers are a must when you drive in Seattle in November. Friday I got my wipers repaired. It cost $350.00. I was probably gouged, but I had no choice. It's raining heavily lately.

Saturday C2 and I worked on the deck.

Saturday night I went to the Cuff.

Sunday Jenny and I went snowboarding at Crystal Mountain The weather was beautiful. Sunny. Not too cold. Not too many people.

Now, Saturday night at the Cuff I mentioned to someone that "I was going to Crystal." He assumed I ment the drug and warned me how addictive it was. He tried it once and knew from experience. He winced when I told him I ment "Crystal Mountain-- the ski hill."

Last night I had dinner with Steven, Vic and the Bellevue Blondes. It was a pre-thanksgiving party. Vic and Steven are leaving for a 10 day Hawaiian cruise (lucky dogs) and one of the Blondes is moving from Seattle to NY.

Played hockey tonight. We tied 3-3.

The game was early, so for the first time this year the team went out for beer afterwards. There are a few interesting people on the team.

One guy is living off the wealth of his parents. He said so. His mother wants him to say he is a banker or something non-descript, but he doesn't want to lie.

Another guy teaches people how to use the computer program I work on.

A girlfriend of a team mate is a crisis center councilor. See does her work over a cell phone. Twice during the evening she received a call, swore and went outside to answer the call.

I had a lazy Sunday.

Wolk up. Had breakfast with Steven, Vic, Matt and Sandy. Went shopping with Steven and Vic. Drove back to Matt and Sandy's place and ate cookies-- Matt made Christmas. Hung out with Matt and Sandy for a while. Had dinner with them. Went to the Cuff. Went home.

Friday night C2 and I had dinner at Siams. Afterwards we went off to CC's and then the Cuff.

CC's has changed. The crowd used to be blacks or alcoholic preppy's. Now it's has the alcoholic bear crowd.

Saturday C2 and I worked on the deck. We finished all the footings.

Out of the blue, Brux called. he and C3 are in Pickering Ontario, looking for a place to live. We didn't talk long. He called with a calling card that was about to expire.

Saturday night I had dinner with Vic and Steven. Afterwards we went to the Cuff. It was a busy night.

Had Survivor Potluck on Thursday evening. John was sick although Mac showed up for a while. Steven was there forr the first time in weeks. Usually he's out of town for work.

Last night I was supposed to meet a guy for coffee. Sort of a date-lite. He no-showed. So, I went ot a sex club.

What? I was in the area. I was frustrated.

Last night I watched Barbarella. It's a good bad movie. The entire point of the movie is to show scantily clad women or naked women through oqaque plastic.

Today it's raining hard.

Played hockey last night. We tied 3-3. Steven was there. Afterwards he said he'd never watched a hockey game before.

Saturday, C2 and I worked on the deck. We've almost finished pouring all the footings.

Last night Survivor potluck was at Matt and Sandy's. Mac and John couldn't make it because Mac was sick.

It was a fun night. Sandy kept trying to get us to drink more with him-- shots, more wine, more mixed drinks.

Sandy is going through a "Pot Drought." Sandy smokes pot fairly regularly. But, his supplier has hit a dry spell. So no pot for Sandy. Now he's drinking more. Matt hopes the dry spell will end soon. They've got C2 looking for another supplier. Which is odd because C2 doesn't do drugs. C2 has a friend who knows a friend who sells.

Last night Steven and I saw Elf witht he movie bears. What a bizarre movie. While it's not a great movie, it's much better than I thought. They play it staight. They take a very silly situation ( A human raised by Christmas elves returns to New York to find his father) and just run with it.

In the Elf remedial education class they teach things like "Christmas Carols" and "Building Advanced Graphics Processors for Modern Personal Computers."

Played hockey last night. We lost 2-1 in sudden death over time. So close.

Friday night I had dinner with C2 and H3. Fun evening.

Saturday C2 and I worked on the deck. Mostly we poured cement.

Saturday evening I had dinner with Matt and Sanday at Mac and John's place. Behr was there but he didn't hang around. He went out clubbing.

Even though it was a quiet evening, we all drank a lot-- wine, tequila shots. Next morning we were all hung over.

Sunday afternoon C2 and I worked on the deck again. It's dark by 5pm. We ran into some problems then. I couldn't see into the cement mixer and didn't notice that some cement was going solid at the back of the mixer. It took a lot of work to free the cement and clean the mixer.

Sunday evening I had dinner with Steven. It was good to see him again.

We had survivor potluck last night. It went well. Behr refuses to come because he hates Survivor.

Matt, Sandy and I saw The Matrix Revolutions. What a lame movie. Lots of great special effects, but a very lame story. Many cliches. The story takes lots of random detours that arn't connecected. You could cut out large parts of the movie and not miss a thing.

So why did my furnace die? It froze!

The furnace has a dehumidifier. A hose that drains water runs from the dehumidifier to the outside of the house. We had a cold snap last night and some water in the hose froze. When the dehumidifier tried to pump more water out the hose, it tripped a safety and shut the furnace off.

My furnace died last night. The furnace repair man should be over this afternoon.

I went to the eye doctor this morning. It wasn't a good visit...

Lately I find it hard to focus at the end of the day or when it's dark. I went to an eye doctor for him to check it out.

The basic tests turned up normal, so he decided to check my eyeball pressure. He put some drops in my eyes to dialate my puples. Then he got his intern to check the pressure.

How do you check eyeball pressure? A small glowing tube slowly get's closer to your eye and makes contact with it.

The intern didn't do a good job. I kept blinking as the tube got close and touched my eye.

So the doctor took over and showed the intern a few tricks. (arch my eyebrowe. Get me to look off in the distance instead of at the tube thats about to touch my eye)

The eyeball pressure turned out normal. So the doctor said I was fine and could leave. But, at that point every thing was blurry. Very, very blurry. I told the doctor so.

The doctor then figured out what was going on. He ran a few tests to confirm it. Aparently, I'm farsighted, but have learnt a few tricks to deal with it. These tricks don't work well when my pupil is dialated or when my eyes are tired. That's why I have problems seeeing in the dark. That's why I have problems focusing at the end of the day.

He gave me a cheap pair of reading glasses to help me deal with blurry vision. He said in a few hours the eye drops would wear off and my vision would return. That's exactly what happened. A few hours later while I was looking at the computer screen with the glasses on, my vision suddenly got blurry again. I took the glasses off and found that my eyes had returned to normal.

Last week I worked long hours.

Only one family came to my house on Halloween. The two kids where nice, but the father was scowled the whole time.

Friday night I bought a bunch of cement, wood, bolts and a cement bit for my drill. The bolts and bit sliped under the wood so the cashier didn't notice it-- and didn't change me for it. I like that Home Depot. That's the 2nd time a lazy cashier has missed something.

Saturday I started work on the deck. C2 is helping me. We tried drilling into the cement at my basement. It took forever (30 minutes?) to drill one hole. I called my father and asked him for a hit. He said "rent a hammer drill and a good bit." I did so. The new drill took less than a minute per hole.

Saturday night I had coffee with Matt, Sandy, their friend Hugh and Hugh's friend, the infamous, "Fist Fuck Frank" After coffee, Matt, Sandy and I had dinner together. FFF and Hugh went to see a movie.

I stayed out late on Saturday night and hung out with Behr. We closed the Cuff.

Sunday I played hockey. We lost 4-1. Bleah.

I constructed a weird list. To get a feeling for how often I meet men I like, I wrote down the names of men I dated, or wanted to date and the year I met them. I thought the list would be short. I guess I get around...

In 1997, I met Rick, Barry2 and Brian. Brian and I became a couple.

In 1998 I met no one. I guess Brian and I were happy.

1999. The beginnings of separation. I met Harry.

2000. Fully separated. I met Terry, WB, C2 and C5

2001. Steven, LS, Master Nick and C6, JP

2002, L, Matt, Mac, the Tease, John and Pete.

2003, T, JD and Reed.

Hmm. When I'm single it looks like I meet at least 5 attractive men a year. This year I've only met 3. Guess I gotta get cracking.

Mac and John spent the weekend in San Diego. John sent this email...

Hi all.

Have you been watching the news?! San Diego is burning down. 1,100 homes have burned down and another 30,000 are in danger of burning. We saw no sun! It was dark and smoky. The Santa Anna winds are bringing the smoke right into the city. It was snowing ash the whole time we were there. People were wearing masks when outside. We had a convertible but couldn't put the top down. It was awful !! People were evacuating into the city and the hotels filled up to capacity. The resteraunts were packed, even on Monday because they pleaded that no one go to work or school, no one drive, and don't use water unless necessary. We barely got out of the city yesterday, and finally got home last night after a long layover in San Fran.

Well, gotta run to work for a 9:00 meeting. Talk to you all later, but wanted to let you know we got out of San Diego OK and are home safe and sound.

I worked all day Sunday. Bleah.

Sunday evening C2 came over. We had dinner and watched Matrix Reloaded. Reloaded does not get better with a second viewing. It's more hokey. Easier to spot the plot holes. Special effects aren't as special.

But, you can fast forward over the dull parts.

On Saturday the west coast switched off daylight savings time. This morning at 7am it was dark Right now at 5:30pm, it's dark. We've entered Seattles deperssing phase.

The machine is gone! What machine? I guess I should explain. A week ago, a large loud engine with cables running under a manhole cover appeared next to my house. It was a very loud machine. It ran twenty four hours a day. On Friday I complained to the city about it.

When the city got back to me, they said it was Qwest's machine. A big air pump. Some conduit with cable runs by my place. The conduit has to stay presurized or water will creep in. The conduit had cracked and they needed to put extra air in to keep the water out.

The machine kept running, loudly, 24 hours a day. Saturday night it ran out of fuel. It sputtered for about half an hour before it stopped. Then 30 minutes later, someone filled it up and restarted it.

Today a man from the City got back to me. He said that the machine was gone and that they had fined Qwest for the noise. Some bad news, next summer Qwest needs to dig up the conduit to replace it.

Hung out with C2 today. We watched a local gay rugby team play. They didn't do well, but they were playing against a much more experienced team.

We're building a 2nd deck for my place. We staked it out and set concrete for 2 posts. It's going to be a big deck. Right now the plan is to make it 25' by 40'. I showed Steven the plans. He likes it, but was suprized by it's size.

I'm going to shrink the deck a bit. Maybe 25'' by 20''.

This morning I had a banking scare. My called me and said my visa card hasn't been paid in several months and had $3000.00 on it.

My old visa was on automatic payment. When I lost my card last August, the new card didn't show up on web banking and didn't get automatically paid.

When the bank realized that the problem was half their fault (for not adding the visa to my web banking) and half my fault for being careless, they credited me for the interest and late fees.

We had survivor potluck at Matt and Sandy's. They just got back from Hawaii and they wanted to show us their photos and videos. Sandy did a very professional job, but then again he's a line producer for a TV station, so he knows what he's doing.

Afterwards we watched Unfaithful Kind of an odd movie. It starts out as a cheating wife sex/romance, but takes an odd twist at the end.

I hung out with Steven last night. We had dinner at the Wing Dome. Afterwards, we bought cookie dough and make cookies. We both had a sugar crash about an hour later.

Steven's moving along with his plan to move to Canada (To live with his partner Vic). He's put his house up for sale. After he sells it, he's going to move in with me. When is approved, he'll move to Canada.

I wish him well.

I played hocky last night. We tied 1-1.

I've been working a lot lately. Not that I've been doing much work. I've lost interested in my job (again) So, it takes a few hours every day to psych myself into working. Then, I feel guilty for not working all day, so I stay late to make up for lost time.

In my goof off time I've been making budgets, to see how long I could quit and not need a job.

Friday I bought a new PC and stayed up late playing with it.

Saturday John, Mac and I drove down to Mt. Rainier and did some small hikes around it. The weather was perfect. Even though there was much snow around Paradise, the sun was warm and bright.

Saturday evening, we had a large group dinner for Vic and the Sleuth who were down from Victoria About 14 of us got to gether at Piecoras. Drama was a tad higher than normal. Two couples had small tiffs.

Around noon on Sunday, Brian called me. He was having computer problmes so he asked me to come over and help him.

While I was there he told me his latest adventures...

A couple months ago, Brian was pulled over for a DWI. Halfway through the arrest, the officer left Brrian to talk with another officer. Brian noticed that the officer left his clipboard on the seat right next to Brian. So, Brian went through the clip board and ripped out all the paperwork. Weeks later the police still tried to charge Brian. The judge threw out the charges because, well, there was no paperwork.

Brian is a very very lucky man. This is the 2nd DWI that's he's beaten.

C2 and I saw Kill Bill. It's a fun movie, lots of silly gratutious violence.

The journal is 3 years old. When I think back over the past 3 years, it's like nothing happened, but then I look skip through the archives and I see how much I've done.

Last night I slept over at Reeds. He wanted me to call in sick and spend the day with him. I didn't. Sometimes I think he has an easy job.

He still doesn't want to have sex though.

Weird weekend. Well, maybe not.

A couple weeks ago, William, a guy from D.C. started instant messeging me, telling me I was cute, how much he liked me, stuff like that. He's a nice guy so I didn't mind the chat. Then, last week he asked if he could fly to Seattle and spend the weekend with me. I said yes. I was a bit nervous that-- when we talked on the phone, the conversation was always short and polite.

Will arrived on Friday. And well, he's nice. Shy. Quiet. I'm not in love.

Friday night, C2, William and I went to see PileDriver! a comedy about gay pro wrestlers. It was very funny.

Saturday, William and I saw School Of Rock Good movie. 7/10.

Saturday evening, Cor threw a small cocktail party at his place. He has a partner now, a guy who's moved up from Portland. They've been together for two months, so it must be love.

By Sunday Will was wearing on me. He's very quiet. He doesn't want to do anything but hang out by my side. He's not much of a dooer.

Sunday evening Steven, Will and I had dinner. I wonder what Steven will say about Will.

Sunday Evening I played hockey. We won 3-1.

Will is leaving for D.C. Now.

Cool. My site no longer shows up when you google for "PB" I'm safe again.

The contractors have started work on my bathroom. I'm having a sauna shower put in.

I spent last night at Reed's. I think I have to stay away from him. On one hand he's a great kisser and a fairly nice guy. On the other hand, he doesn't want to have sex.

That's the odd part. He wants to kiss me and sleep with me. He does not want to have sex with me.

I'm glad we've already decided that we are only going to be friends. This way I don't have to dump him.

I worked again on Sunday.

On Monday, a co-worker asked me if he was expected to work on weekends. I cut him off and clearly told him no. I really don't want to work on a team where people are expected to work on weekends.

In the evening, I had dinner with Steven. He's hurt his back somehow. He's had it for a couple of weeks and it's not getting better. I wish he would go to the doctor. He's seeing a chripractor, but it's not improving.

Thursday night Survivor Potluck went well. Mac and John where ther. Mac offered to help wire up my hot tub.

Matt and Sandy were also there. On Sunday they are leaving for Mauii for 8 days. I wish I could joing them.

Friday night C2 and I had dinner. He's doing ok. He's stressed right now and isn't getting out a lot.

I went into work on Saturday. My project is dragging. I need to finish it. Saturday night I dragged C2 out to C.C's for the bear bust and later to the Cuff. Both were busy places.

I got an email from Bruce! He's started calling himself Brux. I'm not sure why. When I asked him he didn't answer the question.

Winter hockey has started. We played our first game last night. Lost 8-3. Bleah. We didn't have our regular goalie. We had 'Redundunce'-- a fairly dim man who likes to repeat himself.

Hmmm. This blog is now three years old. I guess I should give it a new look.