I spent most of the weekend on Lopez Island. It's very scenic and quiet.

RO and Sandy flew down to California for a weekend with the American Coaster Enthusiasts. Basically they road roller coasters non-stop from Friday evening to Sunday afternoon. They didn't even have to get off the coasters. They could ride the same one over and over.

C2 is gone. Sunday morning he called me from Phoenix. He sounds relaxed. Even though he's going to Iraq, he get's to leave his troubles behind and to start fresh. I also talked to Tommy on Sunday. I get to meet him in a few weeks. I'm looking forward to it.

I haven't talked to my brother since Christmas. Today I got this email from him...

lol gotta love our families long winded ness...

well I'll tell ya I'm pretty sure I'm never gonna have any luck in teh hight tech field, so I'm looking elsewhere. I've been unemplyed for some time ever since I pulled my back muscle. so although I've had work to do almost none of it was paying....

the sting with the goverment has been over since summmer jsut about and well they have a bills from me accumulatign to 70k and I'm not expecting to see anyof that. my latest bunch of web work offers was well once completly for free to create a tsunami web portal. and an other for Videoflicks to make a website for
them. and that was for no money but I was going to get free movie
rentals from them. and although they have the start of their website.
I'm not getting rentals and .................. annoying


SO I'm pretty much playing WoW for half my day and weight training the other half... and doo ing reasearch into the things that I'll ahve to
do and be able to do too qualify for being a police officer... My
problem with this is that I don't know given my prior back injuries and my residual knee iritation if I'll be accepted... So I'm talking to a cop or 2 and getting advice from them. looking into being a security guard in the interm... so I'll have something to referr too during the situational and aptitude tests for police.

All the while I'm affriad to let anyone know casue well I dont' know if I'll quallify and it's also possible I'm actually too tall to be a police officer but can't find anysuch limitations on teh web but I've
been told they exist .... so this may yet again be anouther
place/attempt to be gainfully employed that will fail miserably

But at least I'm getting into shape... my heal spur doesn't seem to be a problem anymore either so I'm relived about that.

My girlfriend is doing much better actually she's quite good she still has to learn what things go well with her stomach some foods seem to work sometimes adn doesn't others... she's well any time she eats shes burpy it's a little unpleasent but there are worse things that can exist.

Now enough about me how about U.

I like the cake 

I'm starting to worry about the tastefulness of the "Keep Your Head" cake. More than one person has commented "You're not actually doing that, are you?" in a surprized tone.

Tonight is C2's going away party.

Matt and I are bringing a "Keep Your Head" cake. "Keep Your Head" is written in icing on the cake. Then Matt will take a G.I. Joe, make it kneel, bind the arms, chop the head off, add a touch of red icing and voila a wonderfully tasteless cake decoration.

When I picked the cake up at the bakery, the decorator said they don't get many requests for "Keep Your Head." They mostly deal with "Happy Birthday" and "Congulations!"

The cake started out more innocently. C2 joked a few times that he wanted a sexy man to jump out of a cake at his going away party. I was going to get a G.I. Joe, strip it naked and shove it into the cake. When I told Matt, Matt had a better idea.

The beer is good! It's strong too. I feel it after one pint.

I am surprised how easy it is to make good beer. It's turning me into a beer snob. Now that I can control everything, from the taste to the carbonation, I don't see why I should drink mediocre beer.

T, gegging is what happens when you misspell kegging.

Sunday I went to a co-workers Oscar party. The crowd is very different from my usual friends. Many enthic people-- indians, chinese, moroccans. They were younger, nerdier, but still a fun crowd.

Friday night, C2, H, R and I went to Siams for dinner.

Saturday I gegged the beer I'm brewing. It will be another couple of days before it is carbonated enough to drink.

Even flat, the beer smells and tastes good.

Last night RO and I went to see Jaded 52. Ryan is a guitarist in Jaded 52. They are a fun band. They play punk and ska, not really my thing

Saturday night I had dinner with Matt and Sandy. We watched Secret Window, a thrille with a twist. I didn't really like it. The twist was too cheap.

Sunday RO and I worked on the wine. It's about 3 weeks away from bottling.

I've been working a lot.

C2's leaving for Iraq on March the 6th. I think he's stressed about it. I'm, not sure. Last friday he says he wants a change, that he wants a partner very badly, and that working on these dead end contract jobs isn't helping.

I wish him the best.

Working a lot. Did much maintenance on the house last week. Small things-- install a towel rack, change the oil in the lawnmower, the list goes on.

I went to C5 and J's for a superbowl party. We would talk during the game and pay attention during the commercials.

C5 and J have a very firey relationship. When ever they get drunk, they argue. They went out Saturday night and got into a fight. J punched C5 in the forehead. It blead. You can still see the mark.

C2 says:
there?
Barry says:
Yes
C2 says:
I was chatting with KBR.
Barry says:
KBR==the Halliburton unit?
C2 says:
yea.
C2 says:
we're at the point where it's now in my court. Looking at a 21 Feb departure.
Barry says:
Wow. How long before you answer?
C2 says:
I pretty much told him yes as I don't have too much else that is much better.
C2 says:
and it would be an adventure and different.
C2 says:
so to speak.
Barry says:
Congratulations then buddy.
Barry says:
You know I have to throw a going away party for you.
C2 says:
no, I don't want that as I'll be back in 4 months. If you want to do something, that would be better as I don't want to think I'm really 'going away'
Barry says:
Ok. I'll have a generic dinner with Chris and Friends then.
C2 says:
I'm not changin much, I'll keep the place at IR, cat, etc.
C2 says:
Ok, I've got to go grab something to eat, chat in a bit.

I did a lot this last weekend.

I bought a wine kit to make my own wine. It was kind of fun to setup. It's not that hard. You just need to make sure everything is clean.

If all goes well, in 3 months I'll have my own wine. 30 bottles of it. 30 bottles of wine raises it's own set of problems. I'm not a big drinker so 30 bottles may last for years. We'll see how it goes.

I also cleaned and organized the workshop. There was a lot of dirt back there. I need to do a dump run to get rid of all the garbage.

I had lunch with C6 today. He said he's tired of his managment. His manager doesn't believe she has a problem.

We talked over his laternatives to quitting. He could take a long vacation. He could switch devisions. He said he no longer wanted to be a middle manager. And that the only way to do that was to leave the company.

When it rains, it pours...
C6 called me. He's also leaving. He's taking a year off work. No definit plans.


The Law of Unintended Consequences...
Over lunch C2 mentioned that the Haliburton recruiters are unintentionally hiring many gay men for work in Iraq. Due to the nature of the job, they need mature men who can stay way from the U.S. for months at a time. Not many married guys fall into that category. Gay? Bingo.

C2 IM'd me.

C2 says:
are you there? busy?
BC says:
I'm here. Spinning my tires in the mud. So, not busy.
C2 says:
how are things?
BC says:
Not bad. Quiet. You?
C2 says:
it's 'fine.' I have a guy (recruiter at Halliburton) that wants to send me to Iraq!
BC says:
Wow.
BC says:
You going through with it?
C2 says:
Hey, want to lunch today with G and U?
BC says:
Yeah.
[lunch details deleted]
C2 says:
See you there at noon.
C2 says:
do you really think I'm crazy to go to Iraq?
C2 says:
you didn't seem too opposed when I first mentioned it.
C2 says:
not like others that REALLY were opposed.
BC says:
You're not entirly crazy. I just hope you realize everything won't be rosey and keen when you get back.
BC says:
Your dad won't change just because you go to Iraq.
C2 says:
and I've not even told liberal commie pinko crazy IR. I may have to move out.
C2 says:
Oh my dad will never change (too much.) I know that and things really won't be too much different. And it's not like I'll be away for ever.
C2 says:
I just found out that you CAN return to the US throught the year!
BC says:
kewl.
BC says:
I'll miss you.
C2 says:
but you cannot spend more than 33 days here total per year.
BC says:
tax?
C2 says:
yes, that's the reason why.
BC says:
I've known a number of people who have worked in Saudie Arabia and the UAE.
BC says:
so, I have a general feeling for the paperwork.
C2 says:
I want to do a bunch of things and this'll be Great opportunity for you to travael to some great strange places with me.
C2 says:
I want to hike the Kyber pass.
BC says:
You know I'll be there.

C2, Matt, Sandy and I had dinner on Friday night. I couple of times Sandy squeezed or rubbed C2's leg. C2 told him off.

Sometimes I worry about C2. I think he's deperessed and has been for a long time. He's too stubborn to see a doctor and I don't know how to snap him out of it.

RO and I drove out to Allyn and Shelton Both are very small towns.

On our way back we stopped for dinner in Tacoma. Apetizers and drinks at Stanley and Searforts Dinner at the Southern Kitchen. They serve very rich food.

Tommy, in the south do they really fry everything and add a cream sauce?

Tommy Boy and I talked with each other about how our journals have changed. They are not as juicy as they used to be. Three years we would mention the hot sex we were having or the trouble we were getting into.

Now... let me see... I write about shopping and movies.

I can't say I'm in a rut. If anything I'm out of a rut. I'm doing what I want, it's just that what I want doesn't involve S&M or slutty Daddies. I spend my evenings with friends. I work hard. I have a good quiet life.

Weird.

It's been dark and rainy here. Saturday was freezing rain. Sunday and Monday are just regular rain.

Friday night, C2, RO, BearOrgy and I had dinner at Siam's. BearOrgy had to leave early to watch the new Battle Star Galactica.

C2, RO and I went to Espresso Vivance for coffee. It didn't work out that well. The music was loud and the tables were large so it was difficult to hold a conversation.

Saturday RO and I went surplus shopping. First we stopped at the Boeing Surplus Store. They have lots of stuff there-- large sheats of aluminum, drill bits, tools, cables, old computers, old office furniture, on and on. You can get a good deal if you know what you are looking for. You can also buy a lot of crap.

After that we went to the Gourmet Standard Outlet Store. It's a tiny kitchenware store at the back of the Gourmet Standard warehouse. I bought a great new set of pots and pans. The manager was very helpful-- telling us why some things were cheap, what was trendy, what professionals used, what made good cook ware and what the good buys were.

I bought non-stick again. Professionals usually buy regular 'stick' pans. I wonder why. Probably because they last longer and are easier to maintain. On the other hand, it's so hard to cook low fat unless you have non-stick.

Last night C2 and I went with the movie bears to see Million Dollar Baby. It's a good film. Kind of like Rockey except Rockey breaks his neck at the title match. Don't worry. I haven't given the ending.

After the movie we want to CC's and ran into Faf and Officer Rob. Officer Rob told us about his mace training.

To use mace, the police force requires it's officers to be maced. When it was Officer Rob's turn, the guy spraying the mace accidentally sprayed Rob in the mouth. The sprayer said "Sorry, that's not good enough, I have to spray you in the eyes." So Officer Rob held open his eyes and was sprayed a second time.

Officer Rob's eyes swelled shut-- which was expected. He had to be guided to the shower. It sounds like mace gets deep into your eyes. For two or three days later Officer Rob said he could feel little bubbles of mace under his eye lid. Now and then a bubble would pop and his eye would sting again.

Steven got back from a week in California. His father was very ill and hospitalized a week ago so he went to visit. One week later his father is much better.

I didn't do much over the weekend. Fixed some plumbing. Cooked. Cleaned.

Saturday night RO and I went to a party. It was a large party but neither of us knew many people there.

I've been working a lot and still have the cold. Today is the first day I didn't use cold medicine. It feels good to be less groggy.

A third of the people I work with have this cold. Some much worse than I. Whever I get a two-week cold, I always worry "Do I have AIDS?" So seeing so many co-workers be sicker for longer than I is a comforting.

New Years eve I had a few friends over-- Matt, Sandy, the Tease, Bib, C2 and the Designer. It was a quiet evening. The Tease and I both had lingering colds so we didn't party hard.

Sunday, the Designer and I went to Leary House for an afternoon beer, wine and snack social held by the achivist at Leary House. Leary House is a huge mansion that's now 100 years old. It's full of beautiful wood and tile work. Some of the carpets are the original 100 year old carpets.

Steven and C2 are both very stressed. Both have work and family problems right now and it's draining their energies.

I'm back from Pembroke.

For those of you who got here by googling for "Gay Pembroke" let me warn you that there are is no gay community, no bars, no associations, in Pembroke. Pembroke gays who want to be around other gays leave.

Pembroke was an ok trip. Very cold. Temperatures around 5F, so I didn't get out much.

The difference between the rural and the urban hit me much more than usual. When you have ambition, when you want to do more for yourself, you tend to move to the cities. There are more opportunities there. I'm not saying that rural people are not ambitious. They can work hard. They can work smart. It's just that their goals are not as money and power focused. They want to raise a family, or farm. You don't need 'greater opportunity' to do that.

My parents give a lot of alcohol at Christmas. 40ozs of rum or whisky, or a 24 of beer. They gave their old neighbours a 24 of beer. However the wife had to work on Christmas, so mom&dad worried that the husband would drink the whole 24 by himself.

Stuff like that doesn't happen in Seattle

It's clear and cold up here in Pembroke. Good Christmas weather.

My little brother is here. He's 6'11, 300lbs.

We exchanged gifts on Christmas Eve. I got some shirts and socks.

Last night Toronto got a foot of snow. In the morning it started to rain. That didn't stop G and I from driving the 5 hours from Toronto to Ottawa. It was a slow drive and we saw many accidents.

I dropped G off at his in-laws, then drove an hour north to Pembroke, to my parents.
My cell phone works fine here. I get a better signal than back in Seattle.

Tonight I had dinner with JN and her kid R. The father, JYN was out of town on business and dind't show up till 10pm.

Every night, to put baby R to bed, they have "The 8 minute race" Basically JN sets a countdown timer for 8 minutes and baby R races to see how fast he can get ready for bed-- wash his face, brush his teath, get his bed clothes. on. During the race, Caulin and I called the race over a small loudspeaker-- "And now R starts brushing his teeth! What's this! He's spit up on his shirt! Can he recover from this delay! Wait Mommy steps in to help-- what teamwork!"

The forcast says Toronto may get up to a foot of snow tonight. G and I want to leave for Ottawa tomorrow. The snow may delay us.

Tonight I had dinner with JN and her kid R. The father, JYN was out of town on business and dind't show up till 10pm.

Every night, to put baby R to bed, they have "The 8 minute race" Basically JN sets a countdown timer for 8 minutes and baby R races to see how fast he can get ready for bed-- wash his face, brush his teath, get his bed clothes. on. During the race, Caulin and I called the race over a small loudspeaker-- "And now R starts brushing his teeth! What's this! He's spit up on his shirt! Can he recover from this delay! Wait Mommy steps in to help-- what teamwork!"

The forcast says Toronto may get up to a foot of snow tonight. G and I want to leave for Ottawa tomorrow. The snow may delay us.

Tonight I had dinner with JN and her kid R. The father, JYN was out of town on business and dind't show up till 10pm.

Every night, to put baby R to bed, they have "The 8 minute race" Basically JN sets a countdown timer for 8 minutes and baby R races to see how fast he can get ready for bed-- wash his face, brush his teath, get his bed clothes. on. During the race, Caulin and I called the race over a small loudspeaker-- "And now R starts brushing his teeth! What's this! He's spit up on his shirt! Can he recover from this delay! Wait Mommy steps in to help-- what teamwork!"

The forcast says Toronto may get up to a foot of snow tonight. G and I want to leave for Ottawa tomorrow. The snow may delay us.

Tonight I had dinner with JN and her kid R. The father, JYN was out of town on business and dind't show up till 10pm.

Every night, to put baby R to bed, they have "The 8 minute race" Basically JN sets a countdown timer for 8 minutes and baby R races to see how fast he can get ready for bed-- wash his face, brush his teath, get his bed clothes. on. During the race, Caulin and I called the race over a small loudspeaker-- "And now R starts brushing his teeth! What's this! He's spit up on his shirt! Can he recover from this delay! Wait Mommy steps in to help-- what teamwork!"

The forcast says Toronto may get up to a foot of snow tonight. G and I want to leave for Ottawa tomorrow. The snow may delay us.

Tonight I had dinner with JN and her kid R. The father, JYN was out of town on business and dind't show up till 10pm.

Every night, to put baby R to bed, they have "The 8 minute race" Basically JN sets a countdown timer for 8 minutes and baby R races to see how fast he can get ready for bed-- wash his face, brush his teath, get his bed clothes. on. During the race, Caulin and I called the race over a small loudspeaker-- "And now R starts brushing his teeth! What's this! He's spit up on his shirt! Can he recover from this delay! Wait Mommy steps in to help-- what teamwork!"

The forcast says Toronto may get up to a foot of snow tonight. G and I want to leave for Ottawa tomorrow. The snow may delay us.

Tonight I had dinner with JN and her kid R. The father, JYN was out of town on business and dind't show up till 10pm.

Every night, to put baby R to bed, they have "The 8 minute race" Basically JN sets a countdown timer for 8 minutes and baby R races to see how fast he can get ready for bed-- wash his face, brush his teath, get his bed clothes. on. During the race, Caulin and I called the race over a small loudspeaker-- "And now R starts brushing his teeth! What's this! He's spit up on his shirt! Can he recover from this delay! Wait Mommy steps in to help-- what teamwork!"

The forcast says Toronto may get up to a foot of snow tonight. G and I want to leave for Ottawa tomorrow. The snow may delay us.

I'm not homesick for Toronto. It's more like nostaglia. While Toronto is a great city, that's all you get. It literally takes hours to get out of the city.

In Seattle, the mountains and skiing are an hour away. The Ocean is an hour the other way. Portland and Vancouver are 3 hours away. So, there is a great variety of things to do, urban and rural.

On top of that, If I moved back to Toronto, I would have to live way out in the suburbs. Toronto downtown is beautiful and expensive. The affordabile suburbs are ugly and way out.

I can handle the suburbs in Seattle because I have a log cabin on a greenbelt and because downtown Seattle is a 20 minute drive away. If my home were in Toronto, it would be worth well over a million dollars.

Way back when, Bruce used to be my best friend. We worked together. Then he ran into problems with his job and got fired. That was the start of a long slide down for Bruce. He's been unemployed for the past two years and is very bitter about it.

In the process Bruce left Seattle and moved back to Toronto.

I tried to track down Bruce, have dinner with him, but he never responded to my emails. I asked C2 to talk to Bruce, to see if it was me.

It was me. Bruce responded to C2 almost right away. Bruce gave some bull shit excuse how he and I haven't kept in touch and how our lives have gone seperate ways.

Oh well.

The deep freeze has let up. The temperature in Toronto is now a bearable 30F.

I spent yesterday with J&G and their kids who we took to Sport Ball

Other than that, I slept. Yesterday for the first time in months, I didn't have coffee. Probably related, yesterday for the first time in months, I had an afternoon nap.

I love being on vacation.

Toronto is booming. Hi rise condos are going up everywhere. The condos are huge-- 30 to 60 stories, with talk of 80 stories.

Yesterday Caulin took me to Seneca hill to see the Toronto skyline from the north east. You could see the condos follow a twenty mile stretch along the Younge Street subway line. I'm not sure how many condos there are, but it has to be over one hundred. The Young and Finch intersection has a dozen and Younge is Finch is just the beginning (Of the subway line)

Why all the condos along the subwayl line? Two reasons. First, driving in downtown in downtown Toronto is insane. Constant traffic james and pay parking everywere. The cheapest parking is $2.00 an hour. Second reason, toronto can be bitter cold in the winter. With a condo directly connected to the subway line, and because much of downtown Toronto is connected via a huge underground city, you can go from home to work without everhaving to go outside.

I've been visiting many of my old friends. In the seven years I've been away from Toronto all my friends, even the gay ones, have had children. J&E have 3. G&J have 2 with the 3rd on the way, M&S have 2, J&J have 1, Liam has 1.

Having a child changes you. You watch what you say. You don't swear. Your whole life revolves around the child, take care of them, making sure they stay out of trouble.

Lat night Liam and I went to a hockey game-- he was playing. It was fun to watch. I recognized a few guys from the league I haven't seen them in years.

I'm in Toronto right now. It's insanely cold. -5F with a windchill that feels like -20F. At that temperature bare skin starts to tingle and hurt within minutes of exposure.

Friday night I'm heading up to Ontario to spend Christmas with friends and family. Updates will be sporatic till the 29th.

The holiday party season is uppon us. Tuesday my manager took our team out for a great lunch.

Tuesday evening I had a dinner party at my place for some of my neighbors and friends. Granny M came. Granny M built my house back in 1957. She raised 5 kids her. After her kids moved out and her husband died, she found the house too big and too much work. So she sold it and bought a smaller place just down the street-- maybe 5 houses over.

Granny M is an amazing woman. She's 79 years old, but doesn't look much more than 50. She's fit. She smart. I hope I'm as well off as her when I turn 80.

Still working a lot.

Sandy got us free tickets to see "Spain in the Age of Expoloration 1492-1819" at the Seattle Art Museum. It was nice. I'm not a big museum fan, so I went through the show rather quickly. RO took his time, read and listened to everything.

Afterwards we had dinner at Siam's.

Sunday, C2, RO and I went to the company blow out tent sale. The crowed was maddening. They had good deals there, but I didn't buy anything.

Saturday night Matt and Sandy came over for drinks and hot-tubbing. They spent friday evening at Enchanted Village riding the roller coasters for an American Coaster Enthusiasts event.

Steven and Vic got back from their Carribean Cruise on Sunday. They had a great time. The were very tan and said they ate and drank too much.

Sunday I did some Christmas shopping. RO, C2 and I spent Sunday evening at Matt and Sandy's. Dinner and Surviovor final. We also watched part of Pornocopia, a documentary on the porn industry. It was very interesting.

Tonight is the Tease's birthday party. RO got him a gift. I told him not to. The Tease is flakey and not a big gift giver himself. So, he gets what he deserves.

I watched Dazed and Confused last night. It's an interesting move about the last day of highschool in 1976.

I was at a martini party on Saturday night. It was an interesting crowd-- RO's friends. They are good people.

This is the first time I've met RO's friends. C2 suspected they would be weird artists. He wasn't too far off the mark.The friends mostly used to be artists, but life got in the way. Career opportunities and family forced them to make their art a hobby and turned them into respectable people.

One lady there was an author of four books. She found writing to be lonely so she got a part time job, which turned into a full time job, which turned into a career. Without planning it, she ended up a bank manager. Her story wasn't uncommon. There was a pianist who pays the bills by being a banker. A photographer who works for Home Depot.

This is kind of depressing.

A cold is going around. I have it. My manager has it. Steven and Matt have it. So far RO and C2 have gotten off scott free.

Matt claims he and I have the same immunity system. We often get sick with the same thing at the same time.

I was on Vactation last week-- did some work around the house and goofed off a lot.

IR has had some weird drama. He had a stalker who called him every hour or so. Then IR called the cops. The cops talked to the stalker and the calls stopped. But then one day when IR came home from work, IR's door was open and all his underwear was missing.

I spent Thanks Giving with C6 and J down on Fox Island. It was a good dinner. Afterwards we watched White Chicks which is a good bad movie.

Steven's had a re-org at work. He doesn't like the changes because he'll be traveling more. Right now he travels 2 or 3 days a week.

I spent the weekend in Palm Springs. It was an ok weekend. I went down for the sun and heat, but in a weird weather fluke, Palm Springs was cool and rainy. Infact, just a little higher in the Yuca Valley, there was snow.

Saturday I went to an antique auto show and took the tram up the the top of Mt San. Jacinto

Sunday. It rained. The snow was low on the mounts. All the locals were excited. I wasn't. If I wanted cool rainy weather, I would have stayed in Seattle.

Monday I went to Joshua Tree National Park. It was nice. Parts of the park were closed because of the snow.

I've removed the "How People Search For This Page" section. It was interesting, but it became self perpetuating.

About a third of the people who read this blog get here by googling for spelling mistakes. Mostly misspelled porno terms like B.R.E.S.T. or M.A.S.T.U.B.A.T.I.O.N.

But, the problem with calling out these weird searches is that they just happen more often. When I put them on the main page, more and more search engines find my blog and think it is about C.H.I.R.O.P.A.C.T.O.R. S.E.X.

I got my hair cut yesterday. The barber goofed and nicked the back of my head. While I was sitting in the chair, I felt the barber slip and the clipper hit the back of my head. The barber immediatly backed off and sighed. A few moments later, without saying a word, he switched to a #2 from and #3 and cleaned up the mistake.

I wasn't sure that he realy did goof, but yesterday evening, RO spotted patch.

Last night, Steven, RO, Sandy and I saw The Polar Express in IMAX 3D. It was cool. I'm not sure how good the movie would be in a regular theather, but in IMAX 3D it was eye popping.

Mac and Joe are moving in. They rent a condo, but it was sold. They a place for a couple of months. They are also trying to pay down some bills, so renting a room rather than a whole apartment gets them some extra money.

I hope it goes well. There could be problems. There is some tension between Steven and Joe. The two have argued in the past. It shouldn't be a problem for a while though as Steven is out of town for about half of December.

C2's room mate, IR, had some weird drama. IR had a one night stand with a man. The man started stalking him, calling and saying strange things. The man accused IR of putting a magic spell on him that made him unattractive and unlikeable. He hinted that his life was not worth living while under the magic spell and that he may retailiate against IR. IR called the cops. A policeman dropped by IR's. While he was there, the stalker called. The policeman answered the phone. Since then the stalker hasn't called back.

So far our conversation goes:- "Hello! How are you?- "I love you"- "How are
you?"- "I love you."

Lol. I work with a few Romanians. They do have a very thick accent.

I think work is going to be stressfull over the next few months. We are doing schedules right now and they have no room for error.

My heckler hasn't returned. I'm kind of disappointed. Oh well. I'm avoiding listening to the news. I'm so tired of the debate, the analysis, the opinions.

I took it easy last night. It was my first quiet night at home in a long time.

I'm watching Reservoir Dogs on TV. The swearing is dubbed over. They will say "dick" and "shit" but they won't say "fuck." When someone says "fuck" they very badly dub over it, like someone just picked up the mic and said "shit" instead of "fuck"

This morning I saw The Incredibles. Is was a work moral event. The Incredibles is very good movie.

Saw Ray last night with RO, C2 and the movie bears. It's a good movie.

>>Let me explain it to you. The canadians that I know are a bunch of social fascists with their heads shoved up their ass.

Nice intro. I like you already.

Onto Bush. This is the man who is lowering our taxes will adding over a trillion dollars to the debt. I want lower taxes, but not when it means my taxes will go up when I retire. I want smaller goverment. Not the unprecidented growth that Bush has created.

This is the man who launched a war on Iraq that has killed more Iraqis than Sadam Hussien. Mean while Osma Bin Laden, the man who actually attacked the U.S. is still at large.

You do know that Iraq was not supporting Al Qaeda? That Iraq did not have weapons of mass distruction?

This is the first president since the great depression who after 4 years wound up with fewer employed Americans than we he started.

This is the man who flip flopped about nation building, free trade, same sex marrage, campaign finance reform and many other important issues

Finally, do you really get anywhere by calling me a "social fascist, fag, gay rights activist?" If you want to win me over then educate me, don't insult me. The readers of this blog know that name calling is the tool of someone who doesn't have facts to back up his position.

Ugh. Bush has won.

I don't understand. Why does more than 50% of the population think that man is a good leader? How did I end up so removed from the other half of America that most everyone I know voted Democrat?

Yesterday RO and I hiked up Rattlesnake Ledge. It's a steep 1.7 mile hike up to the top.

The view is increadible. RO Couldn't stand close to the edge. He said he had a fear of hights. He would even turn around and look away when I got close.

After we got home, Mac and Joe called and said "Hey we are in your neighborhood. Mind if we come over?" So they did. We had leftovers together. It was good. Tonight Mac and Joe have invited RO and I over to their place for leftovers.

Steven came home later-- drunk. He went out the Cuff and the Timberline for the Sunday Beer Busts. He said after spending the weekend in Victoria with his mother and his brother, he needed to blow off some steam.

For me, Halloween is the 2nd biggest holiday of the year, after Christmas. I don't dress up or anything like that, but I always get invited to many parties. I'm busy the whole weekend. I eat too much candy. Drink to much.

As an added bonus, the clock goes back an hour are Halloween. So I get the gift of an extra hour of sleep.

Friday night i went to JR's house for a pre-halloween party with the bruders (His friends) JR is a differnt sort of fellow. Very smart. However art, any art, crappy-drawing-printed-out-on-a-cheap-printer art gets him way too excited.

Saturday I worked on a retaining wall with C2. We had to pour concrete. There was a gap at the bottom of one of the forms in an areay we couldn't easily see or get to. While we pouring, C2 suggested that the form was holding much more concrete than you'd think it would need. We scrounged around and found the leak. I had to crawl on my belly for about 10 feet to get to the leak and plug it up.

Saturday night C2 and I went to T&J's Halloween party. I was invited to two other parties, and i was planning on leaving T&J's early. However, I had a good time there and stayed till late.

After that C2 and i went to the Madison Pub and the Cuff to gawk at the costumes. There were many very elaborate outfits. C2 commented how some people really get into it and feel proud of themselves. C2 and I agreeded; making a good costume takes much time, skill and effort, but we just don't care about the results.

We saw Behr at the Cuff. He's looking good for a man who just had a heart attack. We didn't talk long because it was loud and crowded.

Had survivor potluck last night. C2, RO, Sandy and Beef were over. Something happened to Matt and he couldn't make it. Matt said he had a bad day at work. Sandy speculated he had a bad day at a Casino.

C2 left early. The rest of us soaked in the hot tub for about an hour.

Last night Vic proposed to Steven over the phone. Steven is much much happier. Since marrage between gays is legal in Canada, this will help Steven's get resident status.

Steven asked me 3 times if I called Vic and encouraged him to propose. Vic has always been against marrage-- he's divorced. I told Steven that no, Vic proposed on his own. I don't know if Steven believes me, but it is true.

It probably made Steven feal good to hear "Your boyfriend asked to marry you because he wanted to, not because someone pushed him into it."

Steven is livid with his brother. His brother was on the verge of ruin. Steven moved him up from L.A. rented him a new appartment and payed the banks off enough to unfreeze his brother's bank account.

What did his brother do? Bounce four cheques.

Steven is also frustrated by his relationship. Vic lives in Victoria, a 3 hour drive and 2 hour ferry ride one way. Steven has been visiting Victoria almost every weekend since they met two and a half years ago. Because Vic has kids in Victoria, it's difficult for Vic to visit Seattle.

This past week Steven's application for Resident status in Canada was denied. This raises lots of questions about Vic and Steven's future. Questions that really bug Steven.

I went up to Victoria this weekend. Mostly to move some stuff for Steven. Also, to get away.

It was a quiet weekend. I chatted and drank with Vic and Steven. Vic makes his own wine. It's not bad at all.

Saturday I just hung around the city. Victoria is old so there are many interesting buildings. Had had lunch with the Slueth He showed me some tricks to parking in Victoria. He likes to give advice.

Saturday Evening I watched Daddy Day Care with with Vic, Steven and Vic's kids. It's a mediocre comedy.

Vic is a bit frustrated with his kids. They are kind of lazy, unambitious and at times rude. He tries to be strict with them, but they just don't care. I'm not sure what to say. When I was a teenager, I once took a swing and my father, so all-in-all Vic's got it easy. But, still...

Sunday we got up, had breakfast and made our way home. Victoria is an island with a $50.00 ferry ride. Steven sighed at the fact that he's travled to Victoria more than 120 times to spend the weekend with Vic.

From: Littel BearSent: Friday, October 22, 2004 7:53 PM
Subject: Udate
on Behr

Just wanted to update everyone on Behr,(I'm using Mac and Joe's
rafting trip e-mail for the addresses so if I've left anyone out please forward
this, and if your saying 'who the heck is Behr' then just ignore it ;-).

Behr came home from the hospital this afternoon. He is just restricted
from lifting or other heavy work for a while, not because of his heart but
because of the small opening they made in his femoral artery to place the
stints. Other than that he's feeling back to normal. They'll give him a couple
weeks or so before they do the other 2 stints. Thanks to everyone for thier
calls and concern. Hope to see you all soon.

Little Bear

From: Mac and Joe
Subject: Behr
Date: Thu, 21 Oct 2004 07:10:07 -0700 (PDT)

Hi Gang,
I don't know if you've heard, but Behr had a heart attack last night and is in Swedish Hospital. At 9:30 PM he was undergoing an Angiogram with the possibility of having a stint installed to open up a blockage. You can call Little Bear at xxxxxxxx to check on Behr's condition and relay any messages to Behr.

Joe and Mac

From: Little Bear
Sent : Thursday, October 21, 2004 4:43 PM
Subject : Behr's doing well

Hey all, Thanks for the calls and concern, Behr is in recovery in the CICU at Swedish Hosp. First Hill. He had an angiogram and 2 stints put in ( a relatively common procedure) and is feeling much better. He can have visitors but I'm not sure what visiting hours are, so you might want to call first. We expect him to be there another day or two. He knows you are all concerned and wishing him a speedy recovery. If I am in his room my cell phone has to be off so I may not get your call if you try and give us a ring.

thanks again and see you all soon.

Little Bear

Saturday, Mac, Joe, RO, T&A moved Mac and Joe's boat from Lake Washington to Puget Sound. It was a good cruise, though it took longer than we expected-- with the clouds it got dark earlier than we planned and you can't go fast in the dark.

Sunday was a maintenance day. I delt witih a clogged gutter, put the patio furniture away, planted some spring bulbs, replaced an hall light and tried to fix some weird electrical problems.

> Ahhhhhhhhhh vs. Awwwwww.

FxBear would like Ahhhhh much better. When healthy he's a touchy feely hedonist.

How have you been Snub? I see you have a new diary.

Last night was Survivor night at Matt and Sandy's. C2, BeefNBreifs, and RO where there. BeefNBreifs is an interesting man. He plays around a lot, so if you relaxing him, get him to drink some wine, he'll tell you an interesting story.

FxBear realy appreciated the visit...

I can’t express how much I appreciated your stopping by on Saturday.
Even for a few minutes, it really did my spirit good to see you guys.
It means a lot that you were thoughtful enough to call and stop over and I
really am grateful for it.

We tend to get isolated up here, rarely
going even to Monroe. Its easy to forget there is a whole community of
friends up in Seattle when you don’t go there on a regular basis. I often
drive into town for a doctor visit and then sit and wonder what to do next.
I’m not fond of going to bars, the idea of sitting in a dark dank room
isn’t appealing. My partner would love to go to the Cuff when we go
to town but I’m a stick in the mud. I wish there were a patio bear bar
here like we had in Dallas. It was a nice sunny patio where guys like us
hung out after work. It was always fun. The drive means I don’t
drink so I get bored pretty quickly anyway. There aren’t many other
alternativeness that I’m aware of. Maybe I should join a club or
something.

I’ve found that I love telling people that I care about
them but recoil from receiving the same kind of praise. Isn’t that odd? I
say that because I’m about to dish out some praise and it just occurred to me
that it would make me uncomfortable to have someone tell me the same thing.
Lol

I’ll say it anyway. I’ve always found you a caring and
thoughtful guy, if not a bit shy . I really like that quality
about you. Your stopping by was more needed than you imagine and it really
meant a lot to me. Thank you for doing it.

Your one of the
good ones Barry

FxBear

Satuday I went to Levenworth for Oktoberfest. It was strange and fun. Very crowded. Lots of older drunks. We didn't stay the night because the hotels were all full.

It's very surreal to be in a beer hall surrounded by thousands of people listening to polka music.

On the way back we stopped off at FxBear's. FxBear is sick. Ten years ago he had bone cancer in his elbow. Eventually his elbow gave out. Two years ago he had his elbow replaced. He never really recovered from the surgury. His body didn't fully accept the new elbow. Now he needs another one.

FxBear lives with his partner in a log cabin in the foothills. It's very isolated so they appreciate the company.

Sunday I tended to the house. I cleaned the roof and the gutters.

>"STEREO TYPE! People in LA wear flannel. When you talk about tans your referring to caucasions. Los Angeles is more the whites"

Dollars to donuts John wrote that. ;-)

Yes it's a stereo type, but you have to admit there is a grain of truth to it. Not every one fits, but enough do that you can't deny it. I'd bet that you have a nice tan and usually wear trendy clothing when you go out.

So what does someone from Seattle look like? What does someone from California, especially LA look like? Why is there a difference?

It comes down to the weather. L.A. has warmth and sun. Seattle has cloud and rain. The sun attracts people who want to show their bodies off-- the entertainment industry, models, actors, body builders, the trend set. In Seattle the rain makes you stay indoors. If you go out you dress warm.

So when someone shows up tan and buff, died blonde hair, funky sunglasses and a trendy cotton vest with no undershirt, you know they are from California. After a month of rain the sunglasses will go. The revealing vest will be replaced with a warm flannel shirt, the tan will start to fade and a mild depression will set in until he teaches himself to deal with the gloom, to drink lots of coffee and to to get out and be active.

Saturday afternoon. I worked around the house, mowing, fertalzing, weeding, sweeping.

Saturday evening, Steven, Vic, Stan I went out for dinner. Steven neede to blow off some steam. He didn't have a good day with his brother. Vic and I are worried that the brother is only telling Steven what he wants to hear and that once he's alone he'll be back to his old self.

Sunday I goofed off. I had breakfast with the gang at Endoline Joes. Went to a couple of farmers markets, watched a movie, hot-tubed and then hit the sack.

My mother wants me to go Grande Prairie to spend a weekend with my new niece. Sigh. It's a seven hour flight one way. That's a lot of traveling for a weekend. Maybe I'll visit them over Christmas or Thanksgiving.

Steven is back from LA with his brother and nephew. This morning I helped them unpack. The nephew is very high energy. Definitely ADD. The brother seams like a nice guy though we didn't talk much.

He looked very California. Man-o-man is he in for a supprize. Seattle is sunny today but soon the rain will start and it will be rainy and gray till May.

I hope things go well for them.

Just got this from mom...

From: Barry's mom
Sent: Friday, October 01, 2004 5:37 AM
To: Barry
Subject:

Hi Barry ,the baby is 100 % , we are counting our blessing,
and Donna is holding her own, so things our starting to look up
love Mom

Lots of bad news.

My sister-inlaw delivered a baby two weeks premature. There were complications and she needed a c-section to remove the baby. The baby came out flatline but is now alive and in an incubator. My sister-inlaw is not doing well. Her kidneys are shutting down and her womb won't shrink back to normal.

Steven is having a worse time. His step-mother died in a car accident. Also, he is in L.A. packing and moving his brother and nephew to Seattle. Last night when I called he started to cry. He said his brother is addicted to crystal meth and has run out of money. They were living in horrible conditions.

Damn it. I wrote a nice long post but Blogger ate it. To recap.

Saturday C2 and I finished the wook work on the deck.

Sunday I went out on the boat with Mac and Joe. We ran out of gas. Mat's parents helped us out.

Steven is moving his brother and nephew from L.A. up to Seattle. His brother can't hold a job, parties too much and is flat broke. Steven is renting them an apartment up here.

Today is the day all my work is due. My whole team is putting our feature's into the product. It's been a scary day.

At about noon I realized that I had made a small fuck up. My heart stopped. I worked fast and furious to clean up the bug before anyone noticed. I was on the verge of a panic attack the whole time.

Fortunatly I fixed the problem before anyone noticed. Well, someone noticed, but I told them that it was "user error" and not a bug. They believed me.

I'm still working a lot. Steven says he doesn't know me any more. I have been taking the odd evening off.

Last night I went to the annual HRC dinner and auction. It was a swanky dress up event. WST brought C2 and I to the dinner. WST is an HRC Federal club member which means he donated over $1200.00. Good for him.

It's a good cause. But, I didn't really enjoy myself. The seating was weird-- they didn't place C2 and I at the same table. Neither of our table mates were that interesting.

Oh well. I went home early, slept and now I'm back at work.

I have been working 12 hour days since Friday. I'm starting to lose it. I have periods where my eyes just wont focus.

I've been working a lot this week. We have a big deadline on Sept 20th and I have to make up for all the goofing off that I've been doing.

I spent the weekend in Victoria. It was fun and relaxing. Victoria is very quaint. It has very mild weather year around, making it a great place for gardens and retirees. It's in the rain shadow, so even though it's very close to Seattle, it gets much more sun.

We (Matt, Sandy, Mac, Joe and I) left Seattle at 5:30 am to make the 8:15 ferry.

We got to Vic and Steven's place at around 10:30am. It's beautiful. It's farily high up on Mill Hill, so they have a great view.

We didn't do much on Saturday, hung around, had dinner, played cards and went to bed.

Sunday we went to Butchart Gardens. They are very beautiful. It must take a small army of gardeners to keep them in shape.

After that, we went to downtown Victoria, watched an Imax Film and walked around the city. Very cute and touristy.

After that was dinner.

Monday, we got up late had breakfast, goofed off, packed and headed back to the ferry. Unfortunatly the ferry ride back was painful. We were delayed by about 45 minutes leaving. Then, when we got to the other end, another ferry was in our slip so we haid to wait another 20 minutes. Then, it took about an hour to get through customs. bleah.

Last night, Steven's passport and wallet were stolen from his jeep.

He was a bit careless, they were in the front seat and he didn't lock the door. At the same time it doesn't feel good knowing that someone is going around late at night trying car doors.

Bleah. Bad weekend. Although it started off good-- I talked to Tommy on Saturday morning. Like him, I'm apprehensive go write about my feelings for him, since I know he'll be reading this.

Saturday afternoon my truck broke down. I'd bet it's the alternator or the governor. While I was driving, the radio died. It would blink on and off, but wouldn't stay on. Then the truck started to loose power and I noticed all the gages were dead. I pulled the truck into a plaza and checked the fuses-- all were ok. So, I had it towed to a service center and rented a car.

After that, I spent a couple hours at R&J's end of summer BBQ.

After that, I drove back to my neigbors, every summer next to the August Full Moon, they hold a big party. It's the biggest gay event in Newcastle, WA. It's the only gay event in Newcastle, WA.

Sunday morning I wolk up feeling a bit hung over. That was a bit odd because I didn't drink that much. I had breakfast with Mac, Joe and Matt, and the food didn't help.

By the time I got home from breakfast, I was full on sick. I threw up a couple of times. It may have been some food poisoning. It also could have been a 24 hour flu.

Bleah.

I dodged a bullet today at work.

My company has a policy where you must always grow and learn. If you stagnate, they put you on an strict improvement plan the usually results in you quiting within 6 months.

Well, for for the past two years, my performance was average for my level. Three average ratings in a row, and the improvment plans starts.

For this past year my performance was rated as above average. So, live returns to normal.

Part of me was hoping to get the average rating. It would give me a reason to change, to leave. I've spent seven years in the same division at the same company and honestly I'm not really into the job. I feel like I'm faking it. But, I'm a nice guy that the leaders like to have around, so I slowly crawl up the ladder with them.

Part of me says that I've not a nice job, good salary and that I work with good people. I should count my blessings. There are about six billion people on the planet who are worse off than I. Part of me, my soul, knows that's not enough.

I had dinner with Mac last night. Nothing special, I bought some software for him (Cause I get a good company discount) so we got together over dinner. Sounds like things are going well with him. We talked about boats. He and Joe already have a 37' boat. They are encouraging me to buy one. It would be fun to hang out with them more-- they are good people. Not frugle, but good.

My company has a snack tracking website. Many lunch meetings are catered but don't eat all their food. So, you can go to this web site and report free left overs. Or if you are hungry, you can search for free food near you. Isn't the internet wonderful?

My parents left this morning. So, back to the grind. It was good to see them.

My parents are in town so I've been showing them around. Yesterday I took them on the Spirit of Washington dinner train. Today we walked though the Snoqualmie tunnel.

I saw Liza Minnelli last night. It was weird. There were a lot of people there who were way too into Liza and knew way too much about her.

For some reason WST had eight tickets for Liza so he invited C2 and I along. It turns out WST is a big fan of Liza. He new here life story, her ex-husbands, all her songs.

During Liza's encore number I called Steven on my cell and let him listen in. He started singing along. At the end he text messaged me "You are now as gay as me. I want no shit about Celine Dione!"

The show was nice, but shot. She was on for a little over an hour-- less a 10 minute costume change. There were a couple of glitches, but they just added to the fun. A couple of times she ran out of breath during her songs her voice started to crack up. Also, her makeup started to run and she bitched out the cosmetic company on stage.

Tonight C2 and I saw Collateral. It' a good thriller. I wonder when the well-directed-well-filimed action/thriller film first appeared. I remember back in the 80's and 90's the whole point of the thriller was to well, thrill you. Direction was basic-- just give the audience a clear view. But now with Collateral, or the Bourne Supremacy, there is more to it. Plot aside, the art of the film is worth watching.

Maybe I'm just getting older.

I had a dinner date tonight. Half way through dinner Matt and sany walked up. Matt reacted with mock horror that he hadn't been invited.

Dinner was nice. No kiss goodnight though.

I had a quiet weekend. At first we were going to take a road trip around the Cascade Mountains, but C2 and Matt had to pull out.

Saturday I goofed off at home.

Sunday, I went boating with Mac and Joe. Sandy was there-- he hurt his back, so he spent most of the time resting.

Mac and Sandy were boating along with the gay yacht club. Two of the guys in the flotilla live close to me. I'll invite them over for a BBQ some evening.

We talked about the percentage of gays in Seattle. We think about 10% of the population is gay. To double check, we counted the gay-boats and the straight boats around us. There were 9 gay boats and 80 straight boats. Now I'm curious how many gay people live around me. I only know of two couples, but there are hundreds houses in my neighborhood. How can I tell?

Matt and Sandy are going through a rough patch in their relationship. For various complicated reasons, Matt's parents' lost their home. Now the parents are staying with Matt and Sandy's until they get a new place. Sandy is uncomfortable with the intrusion and the way they've taken over their home. Mac and I want to sit down with Matt and give him a chat. Matt can be very inflexible with Sandy, but when it comes to his parents, he'll do anything.

Thursday night I had a BBQ at my place. It was Matt's birtday and we wanted to plan the upcomming weekends. It went well. Two of Mac and Joe's friends from the Yatch Club showed up. They are cool guys. Hopefully we'll see more of them.

I saw The Bourne Supremacy last night. It's a good, forgettable action flick.

I've been thinking about renaming or moving this web site. I've noticed that I'm censoring myself because word can get back to my friends. Hmmm.

I had a good weekend. On friday, I had dinner with C2 and some of his friends. One of the guys at dinner gets around a lot (Even more than a usual gay man) He had a husband, a sex slave, plus he regularly went to orgies.

I think, at one time or another, everyone at the table had sex with the guy. When we figured that out, it made for a weird moment.

Saturday, C2 and I worked on the deck.

Saturday evening was Bear Bust at C.C.s-- it was packed. I ran into Behr. He's in financial trouble. He's been unemployed for the past year and now his unemployment insurance has run out. He's not sure what he's going to do. My take on it is that he needs a good swift kick in the ass. He has a long list of things he won't do-- a bad attitude when you really need a job.

Sunday, C2 and I cycled along Lake Washington and watched the Blue Angles and some of the hydrofoil races. Afterwards we biked over to Mac and Joe's boat and hung around with them for a few hours.

Steven, C2 and I send cell phone text messages to each other. Steven and I have no problems typing out short messages on the phone. C2 is struggling. So C2 only sends quick notes--short preprogrammed messages. This makes all conversations kind of random.

"How did the job interview go?"
"I love you. Talk to you later."

"Do you want to have dinner tonight?"
"I love you. Talk to you later."

"Wanna eat my bung hole?"
"I love you. Talk to you later."

I got an email from Liam thanking me for the weekend. He's in Vancouver now.

Liam mentioned how 'alternative' Seattle is. Especially compared to Toronto. Piercings and tatoos are much more common here. The leather crowd isn't the same either. In Toronto people 'dress-up' in leather. In Seattle, people wear scuzzy rough looking leather.

On Sunday I took Liam to see Pike Place Market, Pioneer Square and Alki Beach. Later in the afternoon we swam in Lake Washington. The swim was refresshing, but there was a lot of weedy gunk on the bottom.

We had dinner on the Patio at the River Rock Grill. The weather was perfect. Not too hot, not too cool, not too humid, not too dry, not too light, not too dark.

This morning I dropped Liam off at the train station. He's heading up to Vancouver for the rest of the week.

I'm glad he came.

My friend Liam is in from Toronto. I've been showing him around. We've had a blast. Friday we spent the day at Mt Rainier. Saturday, Mac and Joe took us out on their boat. We toured and Lake Washington and Lake Union.