I'm not homesick for Toronto. It's more like nostaglia. While Toronto is a great city, that's all you get. It literally takes hours to get out of the city.

In Seattle, the mountains and skiing are an hour away. The Ocean is an hour the other way. Portland and Vancouver are 3 hours away. So, there is a great variety of things to do, urban and rural.

On top of that, If I moved back to Toronto, I would have to live way out in the suburbs. Toronto downtown is beautiful and expensive. The affordabile suburbs are ugly and way out.

I can handle the suburbs in Seattle because I have a log cabin on a greenbelt and because downtown Seattle is a 20 minute drive away. If my home were in Toronto, it would be worth well over a million dollars.

Way back when, Bruce used to be my best friend. We worked together. Then he ran into problems with his job and got fired. That was the start of a long slide down for Bruce. He's been unemployed for the past two years and is very bitter about it.

In the process Bruce left Seattle and moved back to Toronto.

I tried to track down Bruce, have dinner with him, but he never responded to my emails. I asked C2 to talk to Bruce, to see if it was me.

It was me. Bruce responded to C2 almost right away. Bruce gave some bull shit excuse how he and I haven't kept in touch and how our lives have gone seperate ways.

Oh well.

The deep freeze has let up. The temperature in Toronto is now a bearable 30F.

I spent yesterday with J&G and their kids who we took to Sport Ball

Other than that, I slept. Yesterday for the first time in months, I didn't have coffee. Probably related, yesterday for the first time in months, I had an afternoon nap.

I love being on vacation.

Toronto is booming. Hi rise condos are going up everywhere. The condos are huge-- 30 to 60 stories, with talk of 80 stories.

Yesterday Caulin took me to Seneca hill to see the Toronto skyline from the north east. You could see the condos follow a twenty mile stretch along the Younge Street subway line. I'm not sure how many condos there are, but it has to be over one hundred. The Young and Finch intersection has a dozen and Younge is Finch is just the beginning (Of the subway line)

Why all the condos along the subwayl line? Two reasons. First, driving in downtown in downtown Toronto is insane. Constant traffic james and pay parking everywere. The cheapest parking is $2.00 an hour. Second reason, toronto can be bitter cold in the winter. With a condo directly connected to the subway line, and because much of downtown Toronto is connected via a huge underground city, you can go from home to work without everhaving to go outside.

I've been visiting many of my old friends. In the seven years I've been away from Toronto all my friends, even the gay ones, have had children. J&E have 3. G&J have 2 with the 3rd on the way, M&S have 2, J&J have 1, Liam has 1.

Having a child changes you. You watch what you say. You don't swear. Your whole life revolves around the child, take care of them, making sure they stay out of trouble.

Lat night Liam and I went to a hockey game-- he was playing. It was fun to watch. I recognized a few guys from the league I haven't seen them in years.

I'm in Toronto right now. It's insanely cold. -5F with a windchill that feels like -20F. At that temperature bare skin starts to tingle and hurt within minutes of exposure.

Friday night I'm heading up to Ontario to spend Christmas with friends and family. Updates will be sporatic till the 29th.

The holiday party season is uppon us. Tuesday my manager took our team out for a great lunch.

Tuesday evening I had a dinner party at my place for some of my neighbors and friends. Granny M came. Granny M built my house back in 1957. She raised 5 kids her. After her kids moved out and her husband died, she found the house too big and too much work. So she sold it and bought a smaller place just down the street-- maybe 5 houses over.

Granny M is an amazing woman. She's 79 years old, but doesn't look much more than 50. She's fit. She smart. I hope I'm as well off as her when I turn 80.

Still working a lot.

Sandy got us free tickets to see "Spain in the Age of Expoloration 1492-1819" at the Seattle Art Museum. It was nice. I'm not a big museum fan, so I went through the show rather quickly. RO took his time, read and listened to everything.

Afterwards we had dinner at Siam's.

Sunday, C2, RO and I went to the company blow out tent sale. The crowed was maddening. They had good deals there, but I didn't buy anything.

Saturday night Matt and Sandy came over for drinks and hot-tubbing. They spent friday evening at Enchanted Village riding the roller coasters for an American Coaster Enthusiasts event.

Steven and Vic got back from their Carribean Cruise on Sunday. They had a great time. The were very tan and said they ate and drank too much.

Sunday I did some Christmas shopping. RO, C2 and I spent Sunday evening at Matt and Sandy's. Dinner and Surviovor final. We also watched part of Pornocopia, a documentary on the porn industry. It was very interesting.

Tonight is the Tease's birthday party. RO got him a gift. I told him not to. The Tease is flakey and not a big gift giver himself. So, he gets what he deserves.

I watched Dazed and Confused last night. It's an interesting move about the last day of highschool in 1976.

I was at a martini party on Saturday night. It was an interesting crowd-- RO's friends. They are good people.

This is the first time I've met RO's friends. C2 suspected they would be weird artists. He wasn't too far off the mark.The friends mostly used to be artists, but life got in the way. Career opportunities and family forced them to make their art a hobby and turned them into respectable people.

One lady there was an author of four books. She found writing to be lonely so she got a part time job, which turned into a full time job, which turned into a career. Without planning it, she ended up a bank manager. Her story wasn't uncommon. There was a pianist who pays the bills by being a banker. A photographer who works for Home Depot.

This is kind of depressing.

A cold is going around. I have it. My manager has it. Steven and Matt have it. So far RO and C2 have gotten off scott free.

Matt claims he and I have the same immunity system. We often get sick with the same thing at the same time.

I was on Vactation last week-- did some work around the house and goofed off a lot.

IR has had some weird drama. He had a stalker who called him every hour or so. Then IR called the cops. The cops talked to the stalker and the calls stopped. But then one day when IR came home from work, IR's door was open and all his underwear was missing.

I spent Thanks Giving with C6 and J down on Fox Island. It was a good dinner. Afterwards we watched White Chicks which is a good bad movie.

Steven's had a re-org at work. He doesn't like the changes because he'll be traveling more. Right now he travels 2 or 3 days a week.

I spent the weekend in Palm Springs. It was an ok weekend. I went down for the sun and heat, but in a weird weather fluke, Palm Springs was cool and rainy. Infact, just a little higher in the Yuca Valley, there was snow.

Saturday I went to an antique auto show and took the tram up the the top of Mt San. Jacinto

Sunday. It rained. The snow was low on the mounts. All the locals were excited. I wasn't. If I wanted cool rainy weather, I would have stayed in Seattle.

Monday I went to Joshua Tree National Park. It was nice. Parts of the park were closed because of the snow.

I've removed the "How People Search For This Page" section. It was interesting, but it became self perpetuating.

About a third of the people who read this blog get here by googling for spelling mistakes. Mostly misspelled porno terms like B.R.E.S.T. or M.A.S.T.U.B.A.T.I.O.N.

But, the problem with calling out these weird searches is that they just happen more often. When I put them on the main page, more and more search engines find my blog and think it is about C.H.I.R.O.P.A.C.T.O.R. S.E.X.

I got my hair cut yesterday. The barber goofed and nicked the back of my head. While I was sitting in the chair, I felt the barber slip and the clipper hit the back of my head. The barber immediatly backed off and sighed. A few moments later, without saying a word, he switched to a #2 from and #3 and cleaned up the mistake.

I wasn't sure that he realy did goof, but yesterday evening, RO spotted patch.

Last night, Steven, RO, Sandy and I saw The Polar Express in IMAX 3D. It was cool. I'm not sure how good the movie would be in a regular theather, but in IMAX 3D it was eye popping.

Mac and Joe are moving in. They rent a condo, but it was sold. They a place for a couple of months. They are also trying to pay down some bills, so renting a room rather than a whole apartment gets them some extra money.

I hope it goes well. There could be problems. There is some tension between Steven and Joe. The two have argued in the past. It shouldn't be a problem for a while though as Steven is out of town for about half of December.

C2's room mate, IR, had some weird drama. IR had a one night stand with a man. The man started stalking him, calling and saying strange things. The man accused IR of putting a magic spell on him that made him unattractive and unlikeable. He hinted that his life was not worth living while under the magic spell and that he may retailiate against IR. IR called the cops. A policeman dropped by IR's. While he was there, the stalker called. The policeman answered the phone. Since then the stalker hasn't called back.

So far our conversation goes:- "Hello! How are you?- "I love you"- "How are
you?"- "I love you."

Lol. I work with a few Romanians. They do have a very thick accent.

I think work is going to be stressfull over the next few months. We are doing schedules right now and they have no room for error.

My heckler hasn't returned. I'm kind of disappointed. Oh well. I'm avoiding listening to the news. I'm so tired of the debate, the analysis, the opinions.

I took it easy last night. It was my first quiet night at home in a long time.

I'm watching Reservoir Dogs on TV. The swearing is dubbed over. They will say "dick" and "shit" but they won't say "fuck." When someone says "fuck" they very badly dub over it, like someone just picked up the mic and said "shit" instead of "fuck"

This morning I saw The Incredibles. Is was a work moral event. The Incredibles is very good movie.

Saw Ray last night with RO, C2 and the movie bears. It's a good movie.

>>Let me explain it to you. The canadians that I know are a bunch of social fascists with their heads shoved up their ass.

Nice intro. I like you already.

Onto Bush. This is the man who is lowering our taxes will adding over a trillion dollars to the debt. I want lower taxes, but not when it means my taxes will go up when I retire. I want smaller goverment. Not the unprecidented growth that Bush has created.

This is the man who launched a war on Iraq that has killed more Iraqis than Sadam Hussien. Mean while Osma Bin Laden, the man who actually attacked the U.S. is still at large.

You do know that Iraq was not supporting Al Qaeda? That Iraq did not have weapons of mass distruction?

This is the first president since the great depression who after 4 years wound up with fewer employed Americans than we he started.

This is the man who flip flopped about nation building, free trade, same sex marrage, campaign finance reform and many other important issues

Finally, do you really get anywhere by calling me a "social fascist, fag, gay rights activist?" If you want to win me over then educate me, don't insult me. The readers of this blog know that name calling is the tool of someone who doesn't have facts to back up his position.

Ugh. Bush has won.

I don't understand. Why does more than 50% of the population think that man is a good leader? How did I end up so removed from the other half of America that most everyone I know voted Democrat?

Yesterday RO and I hiked up Rattlesnake Ledge. It's a steep 1.7 mile hike up to the top.

The view is increadible. RO Couldn't stand close to the edge. He said he had a fear of hights. He would even turn around and look away when I got close.

After we got home, Mac and Joe called and said "Hey we are in your neighborhood. Mind if we come over?" So they did. We had leftovers together. It was good. Tonight Mac and Joe have invited RO and I over to their place for leftovers.

Steven came home later-- drunk. He went out the Cuff and the Timberline for the Sunday Beer Busts. He said after spending the weekend in Victoria with his mother and his brother, he needed to blow off some steam.

For me, Halloween is the 2nd biggest holiday of the year, after Christmas. I don't dress up or anything like that, but I always get invited to many parties. I'm busy the whole weekend. I eat too much candy. Drink to much.

As an added bonus, the clock goes back an hour are Halloween. So I get the gift of an extra hour of sleep.

Friday night i went to JR's house for a pre-halloween party with the bruders (His friends) JR is a differnt sort of fellow. Very smart. However art, any art, crappy-drawing-printed-out-on-a-cheap-printer art gets him way too excited.

Saturday I worked on a retaining wall with C2. We had to pour concrete. There was a gap at the bottom of one of the forms in an areay we couldn't easily see or get to. While we pouring, C2 suggested that the form was holding much more concrete than you'd think it would need. We scrounged around and found the leak. I had to crawl on my belly for about 10 feet to get to the leak and plug it up.

Saturday night C2 and I went to T&J's Halloween party. I was invited to two other parties, and i was planning on leaving T&J's early. However, I had a good time there and stayed till late.

After that C2 and i went to the Madison Pub and the Cuff to gawk at the costumes. There were many very elaborate outfits. C2 commented how some people really get into it and feel proud of themselves. C2 and I agreeded; making a good costume takes much time, skill and effort, but we just don't care about the results.

We saw Behr at the Cuff. He's looking good for a man who just had a heart attack. We didn't talk long because it was loud and crowded.

Had survivor potluck last night. C2, RO, Sandy and Beef were over. Something happened to Matt and he couldn't make it. Matt said he had a bad day at work. Sandy speculated he had a bad day at a Casino.

C2 left early. The rest of us soaked in the hot tub for about an hour.

Last night Vic proposed to Steven over the phone. Steven is much much happier. Since marrage between gays is legal in Canada, this will help Steven's get resident status.

Steven asked me 3 times if I called Vic and encouraged him to propose. Vic has always been against marrage-- he's divorced. I told Steven that no, Vic proposed on his own. I don't know if Steven believes me, but it is true.

It probably made Steven feal good to hear "Your boyfriend asked to marry you because he wanted to, not because someone pushed him into it."

Steven is livid with his brother. His brother was on the verge of ruin. Steven moved him up from L.A. rented him a new appartment and payed the banks off enough to unfreeze his brother's bank account.

What did his brother do? Bounce four cheques.

Steven is also frustrated by his relationship. Vic lives in Victoria, a 3 hour drive and 2 hour ferry ride one way. Steven has been visiting Victoria almost every weekend since they met two and a half years ago. Because Vic has kids in Victoria, it's difficult for Vic to visit Seattle.

This past week Steven's application for Resident status in Canada was denied. This raises lots of questions about Vic and Steven's future. Questions that really bug Steven.

I went up to Victoria this weekend. Mostly to move some stuff for Steven. Also, to get away.

It was a quiet weekend. I chatted and drank with Vic and Steven. Vic makes his own wine. It's not bad at all.

Saturday I just hung around the city. Victoria is old so there are many interesting buildings. Had had lunch with the Slueth He showed me some tricks to parking in Victoria. He likes to give advice.

Saturday Evening I watched Daddy Day Care with with Vic, Steven and Vic's kids. It's a mediocre comedy.

Vic is a bit frustrated with his kids. They are kind of lazy, unambitious and at times rude. He tries to be strict with them, but they just don't care. I'm not sure what to say. When I was a teenager, I once took a swing and my father, so all-in-all Vic's got it easy. But, still...

Sunday we got up, had breakfast and made our way home. Victoria is an island with a $50.00 ferry ride. Steven sighed at the fact that he's travled to Victoria more than 120 times to spend the weekend with Vic.

From: Littel BearSent: Friday, October 22, 2004 7:53 PM
Subject: Udate
on Behr

Just wanted to update everyone on Behr,(I'm using Mac and Joe's
rafting trip e-mail for the addresses so if I've left anyone out please forward
this, and if your saying 'who the heck is Behr' then just ignore it ;-).

Behr came home from the hospital this afternoon. He is just restricted
from lifting or other heavy work for a while, not because of his heart but
because of the small opening they made in his femoral artery to place the
stints. Other than that he's feeling back to normal. They'll give him a couple
weeks or so before they do the other 2 stints. Thanks to everyone for thier
calls and concern. Hope to see you all soon.

Little Bear

From: Mac and Joe
Subject: Behr
Date: Thu, 21 Oct 2004 07:10:07 -0700 (PDT)

Hi Gang,
I don't know if you've heard, but Behr had a heart attack last night and is in Swedish Hospital. At 9:30 PM he was undergoing an Angiogram with the possibility of having a stint installed to open up a blockage. You can call Little Bear at xxxxxxxx to check on Behr's condition and relay any messages to Behr.

Joe and Mac

From: Little Bear
Sent : Thursday, October 21, 2004 4:43 PM
Subject : Behr's doing well

Hey all, Thanks for the calls and concern, Behr is in recovery in the CICU at Swedish Hosp. First Hill. He had an angiogram and 2 stints put in ( a relatively common procedure) and is feeling much better. He can have visitors but I'm not sure what visiting hours are, so you might want to call first. We expect him to be there another day or two. He knows you are all concerned and wishing him a speedy recovery. If I am in his room my cell phone has to be off so I may not get your call if you try and give us a ring.

thanks again and see you all soon.

Little Bear

Saturday, Mac, Joe, RO, T&A moved Mac and Joe's boat from Lake Washington to Puget Sound. It was a good cruise, though it took longer than we expected-- with the clouds it got dark earlier than we planned and you can't go fast in the dark.

Sunday was a maintenance day. I delt witih a clogged gutter, put the patio furniture away, planted some spring bulbs, replaced an hall light and tried to fix some weird electrical problems.

> Ahhhhhhhhhh vs. Awwwwww.

FxBear would like Ahhhhh much better. When healthy he's a touchy feely hedonist.

How have you been Snub? I see you have a new diary.

Last night was Survivor night at Matt and Sandy's. C2, BeefNBreifs, and RO where there. BeefNBreifs is an interesting man. He plays around a lot, so if you relaxing him, get him to drink some wine, he'll tell you an interesting story.

FxBear realy appreciated the visit...

I can’t express how much I appreciated your stopping by on Saturday.
Even for a few minutes, it really did my spirit good to see you guys.
It means a lot that you were thoughtful enough to call and stop over and I
really am grateful for it.

We tend to get isolated up here, rarely
going even to Monroe. Its easy to forget there is a whole community of
friends up in Seattle when you don’t go there on a regular basis. I often
drive into town for a doctor visit and then sit and wonder what to do next.
I’m not fond of going to bars, the idea of sitting in a dark dank room
isn’t appealing. My partner would love to go to the Cuff when we go
to town but I’m a stick in the mud. I wish there were a patio bear bar
here like we had in Dallas. It was a nice sunny patio where guys like us
hung out after work. It was always fun. The drive means I don’t
drink so I get bored pretty quickly anyway. There aren’t many other
alternativeness that I’m aware of. Maybe I should join a club or
something.

I’ve found that I love telling people that I care about
them but recoil from receiving the same kind of praise. Isn’t that odd? I
say that because I’m about to dish out some praise and it just occurred to me
that it would make me uncomfortable to have someone tell me the same thing.
Lol

I’ll say it anyway. I’ve always found you a caring and
thoughtful guy, if not a bit shy . I really like that quality
about you. Your stopping by was more needed than you imagine and it really
meant a lot to me. Thank you for doing it.

Your one of the
good ones Barry

FxBear

Satuday I went to Levenworth for Oktoberfest. It was strange and fun. Very crowded. Lots of older drunks. We didn't stay the night because the hotels were all full.

It's very surreal to be in a beer hall surrounded by thousands of people listening to polka music.

On the way back we stopped off at FxBear's. FxBear is sick. Ten years ago he had bone cancer in his elbow. Eventually his elbow gave out. Two years ago he had his elbow replaced. He never really recovered from the surgury. His body didn't fully accept the new elbow. Now he needs another one.

FxBear lives with his partner in a log cabin in the foothills. It's very isolated so they appreciate the company.

Sunday I tended to the house. I cleaned the roof and the gutters.

>"STEREO TYPE! People in LA wear flannel. When you talk about tans your referring to caucasions. Los Angeles is more the whites"

Dollars to donuts John wrote that. ;-)

Yes it's a stereo type, but you have to admit there is a grain of truth to it. Not every one fits, but enough do that you can't deny it. I'd bet that you have a nice tan and usually wear trendy clothing when you go out.

So what does someone from Seattle look like? What does someone from California, especially LA look like? Why is there a difference?

It comes down to the weather. L.A. has warmth and sun. Seattle has cloud and rain. The sun attracts people who want to show their bodies off-- the entertainment industry, models, actors, body builders, the trend set. In Seattle the rain makes you stay indoors. If you go out you dress warm.

So when someone shows up tan and buff, died blonde hair, funky sunglasses and a trendy cotton vest with no undershirt, you know they are from California. After a month of rain the sunglasses will go. The revealing vest will be replaced with a warm flannel shirt, the tan will start to fade and a mild depression will set in until he teaches himself to deal with the gloom, to drink lots of coffee and to to get out and be active.

Saturday afternoon. I worked around the house, mowing, fertalzing, weeding, sweeping.

Saturday evening, Steven, Vic, Stan I went out for dinner. Steven neede to blow off some steam. He didn't have a good day with his brother. Vic and I are worried that the brother is only telling Steven what he wants to hear and that once he's alone he'll be back to his old self.

Sunday I goofed off. I had breakfast with the gang at Endoline Joes. Went to a couple of farmers markets, watched a movie, hot-tubed and then hit the sack.

My mother wants me to go Grande Prairie to spend a weekend with my new niece. Sigh. It's a seven hour flight one way. That's a lot of traveling for a weekend. Maybe I'll visit them over Christmas or Thanksgiving.

Steven is back from LA with his brother and nephew. This morning I helped them unpack. The nephew is very high energy. Definitely ADD. The brother seams like a nice guy though we didn't talk much.

He looked very California. Man-o-man is he in for a supprize. Seattle is sunny today but soon the rain will start and it will be rainy and gray till May.

I hope things go well for them.

Just got this from mom...

From: Barry's mom
Sent: Friday, October 01, 2004 5:37 AM
To: Barry
Subject:

Hi Barry ,the baby is 100 % , we are counting our blessing,
and Donna is holding her own, so things our starting to look up
love Mom

Lots of bad news.

My sister-inlaw delivered a baby two weeks premature. There were complications and she needed a c-section to remove the baby. The baby came out flatline but is now alive and in an incubator. My sister-inlaw is not doing well. Her kidneys are shutting down and her womb won't shrink back to normal.

Steven is having a worse time. His step-mother died in a car accident. Also, he is in L.A. packing and moving his brother and nephew to Seattle. Last night when I called he started to cry. He said his brother is addicted to crystal meth and has run out of money. They were living in horrible conditions.

Damn it. I wrote a nice long post but Blogger ate it. To recap.

Saturday C2 and I finished the wook work on the deck.

Sunday I went out on the boat with Mac and Joe. We ran out of gas. Mat's parents helped us out.

Steven is moving his brother and nephew from L.A. up to Seattle. His brother can't hold a job, parties too much and is flat broke. Steven is renting them an apartment up here.

Today is the day all my work is due. My whole team is putting our feature's into the product. It's been a scary day.

At about noon I realized that I had made a small fuck up. My heart stopped. I worked fast and furious to clean up the bug before anyone noticed. I was on the verge of a panic attack the whole time.

Fortunatly I fixed the problem before anyone noticed. Well, someone noticed, but I told them that it was "user error" and not a bug. They believed me.

I'm still working a lot. Steven says he doesn't know me any more. I have been taking the odd evening off.

Last night I went to the annual HRC dinner and auction. It was a swanky dress up event. WST brought C2 and I to the dinner. WST is an HRC Federal club member which means he donated over $1200.00. Good for him.

It's a good cause. But, I didn't really enjoy myself. The seating was weird-- they didn't place C2 and I at the same table. Neither of our table mates were that interesting.

Oh well. I went home early, slept and now I'm back at work.

I have been working 12 hour days since Friday. I'm starting to lose it. I have periods where my eyes just wont focus.

I've been working a lot this week. We have a big deadline on Sept 20th and I have to make up for all the goofing off that I've been doing.

I spent the weekend in Victoria. It was fun and relaxing. Victoria is very quaint. It has very mild weather year around, making it a great place for gardens and retirees. It's in the rain shadow, so even though it's very close to Seattle, it gets much more sun.

We (Matt, Sandy, Mac, Joe and I) left Seattle at 5:30 am to make the 8:15 ferry.

We got to Vic and Steven's place at around 10:30am. It's beautiful. It's farily high up on Mill Hill, so they have a great view.

We didn't do much on Saturday, hung around, had dinner, played cards and went to bed.

Sunday we went to Butchart Gardens. They are very beautiful. It must take a small army of gardeners to keep them in shape.

After that, we went to downtown Victoria, watched an Imax Film and walked around the city. Very cute and touristy.

After that was dinner.

Monday, we got up late had breakfast, goofed off, packed and headed back to the ferry. Unfortunatly the ferry ride back was painful. We were delayed by about 45 minutes leaving. Then, when we got to the other end, another ferry was in our slip so we haid to wait another 20 minutes. Then, it took about an hour to get through customs. bleah.

Last night, Steven's passport and wallet were stolen from his jeep.

He was a bit careless, they were in the front seat and he didn't lock the door. At the same time it doesn't feel good knowing that someone is going around late at night trying car doors.

Bleah. Bad weekend. Although it started off good-- I talked to Tommy on Saturday morning. Like him, I'm apprehensive go write about my feelings for him, since I know he'll be reading this.

Saturday afternoon my truck broke down. I'd bet it's the alternator or the governor. While I was driving, the radio died. It would blink on and off, but wouldn't stay on. Then the truck started to loose power and I noticed all the gages were dead. I pulled the truck into a plaza and checked the fuses-- all were ok. So, I had it towed to a service center and rented a car.

After that, I spent a couple hours at R&J's end of summer BBQ.

After that, I drove back to my neigbors, every summer next to the August Full Moon, they hold a big party. It's the biggest gay event in Newcastle, WA. It's the only gay event in Newcastle, WA.

Sunday morning I wolk up feeling a bit hung over. That was a bit odd because I didn't drink that much. I had breakfast with Mac, Joe and Matt, and the food didn't help.

By the time I got home from breakfast, I was full on sick. I threw up a couple of times. It may have been some food poisoning. It also could have been a 24 hour flu.

Bleah.

I dodged a bullet today at work.

My company has a policy where you must always grow and learn. If you stagnate, they put you on an strict improvement plan the usually results in you quiting within 6 months.

Well, for for the past two years, my performance was average for my level. Three average ratings in a row, and the improvment plans starts.

For this past year my performance was rated as above average. So, live returns to normal.

Part of me was hoping to get the average rating. It would give me a reason to change, to leave. I've spent seven years in the same division at the same company and honestly I'm not really into the job. I feel like I'm faking it. But, I'm a nice guy that the leaders like to have around, so I slowly crawl up the ladder with them.

Part of me says that I've not a nice job, good salary and that I work with good people. I should count my blessings. There are about six billion people on the planet who are worse off than I. Part of me, my soul, knows that's not enough.

I had dinner with Mac last night. Nothing special, I bought some software for him (Cause I get a good company discount) so we got together over dinner. Sounds like things are going well with him. We talked about boats. He and Joe already have a 37' boat. They are encouraging me to buy one. It would be fun to hang out with them more-- they are good people. Not frugle, but good.

My company has a snack tracking website. Many lunch meetings are catered but don't eat all their food. So, you can go to this web site and report free left overs. Or if you are hungry, you can search for free food near you. Isn't the internet wonderful?

My parents left this morning. So, back to the grind. It was good to see them.

My parents are in town so I've been showing them around. Yesterday I took them on the Spirit of Washington dinner train. Today we walked though the Snoqualmie tunnel.

I saw Liza Minnelli last night. It was weird. There were a lot of people there who were way too into Liza and knew way too much about her.

For some reason WST had eight tickets for Liza so he invited C2 and I along. It turns out WST is a big fan of Liza. He new here life story, her ex-husbands, all her songs.

During Liza's encore number I called Steven on my cell and let him listen in. He started singing along. At the end he text messaged me "You are now as gay as me. I want no shit about Celine Dione!"

The show was nice, but shot. She was on for a little over an hour-- less a 10 minute costume change. There were a couple of glitches, but they just added to the fun. A couple of times she ran out of breath during her songs her voice started to crack up. Also, her makeup started to run and she bitched out the cosmetic company on stage.

Tonight C2 and I saw Collateral. It' a good thriller. I wonder when the well-directed-well-filimed action/thriller film first appeared. I remember back in the 80's and 90's the whole point of the thriller was to well, thrill you. Direction was basic-- just give the audience a clear view. But now with Collateral, or the Bourne Supremacy, there is more to it. Plot aside, the art of the film is worth watching.

Maybe I'm just getting older.

I had a dinner date tonight. Half way through dinner Matt and sany walked up. Matt reacted with mock horror that he hadn't been invited.

Dinner was nice. No kiss goodnight though.

I had a quiet weekend. At first we were going to take a road trip around the Cascade Mountains, but C2 and Matt had to pull out.

Saturday I goofed off at home.

Sunday, I went boating with Mac and Joe. Sandy was there-- he hurt his back, so he spent most of the time resting.

Mac and Sandy were boating along with the gay yacht club. Two of the guys in the flotilla live close to me. I'll invite them over for a BBQ some evening.

We talked about the percentage of gays in Seattle. We think about 10% of the population is gay. To double check, we counted the gay-boats and the straight boats around us. There were 9 gay boats and 80 straight boats. Now I'm curious how many gay people live around me. I only know of two couples, but there are hundreds houses in my neighborhood. How can I tell?

Matt and Sandy are going through a rough patch in their relationship. For various complicated reasons, Matt's parents' lost their home. Now the parents are staying with Matt and Sandy's until they get a new place. Sandy is uncomfortable with the intrusion and the way they've taken over their home. Mac and I want to sit down with Matt and give him a chat. Matt can be very inflexible with Sandy, but when it comes to his parents, he'll do anything.

Thursday night I had a BBQ at my place. It was Matt's birtday and we wanted to plan the upcomming weekends. It went well. Two of Mac and Joe's friends from the Yatch Club showed up. They are cool guys. Hopefully we'll see more of them.

I saw The Bourne Supremacy last night. It's a good, forgettable action flick.

I've been thinking about renaming or moving this web site. I've noticed that I'm censoring myself because word can get back to my friends. Hmmm.

I had a good weekend. On friday, I had dinner with C2 and some of his friends. One of the guys at dinner gets around a lot (Even more than a usual gay man) He had a husband, a sex slave, plus he regularly went to orgies.

I think, at one time or another, everyone at the table had sex with the guy. When we figured that out, it made for a weird moment.

Saturday, C2 and I worked on the deck.

Saturday evening was Bear Bust at C.C.s-- it was packed. I ran into Behr. He's in financial trouble. He's been unemployed for the past year and now his unemployment insurance has run out. He's not sure what he's going to do. My take on it is that he needs a good swift kick in the ass. He has a long list of things he won't do-- a bad attitude when you really need a job.

Sunday, C2 and I cycled along Lake Washington and watched the Blue Angles and some of the hydrofoil races. Afterwards we biked over to Mac and Joe's boat and hung around with them for a few hours.

Steven, C2 and I send cell phone text messages to each other. Steven and I have no problems typing out short messages on the phone. C2 is struggling. So C2 only sends quick notes--short preprogrammed messages. This makes all conversations kind of random.

"How did the job interview go?"
"I love you. Talk to you later."

"Do you want to have dinner tonight?"
"I love you. Talk to you later."

"Wanna eat my bung hole?"
"I love you. Talk to you later."

I got an email from Liam thanking me for the weekend. He's in Vancouver now.

Liam mentioned how 'alternative' Seattle is. Especially compared to Toronto. Piercings and tatoos are much more common here. The leather crowd isn't the same either. In Toronto people 'dress-up' in leather. In Seattle, people wear scuzzy rough looking leather.

On Sunday I took Liam to see Pike Place Market, Pioneer Square and Alki Beach. Later in the afternoon we swam in Lake Washington. The swim was refresshing, but there was a lot of weedy gunk on the bottom.

We had dinner on the Patio at the River Rock Grill. The weather was perfect. Not too hot, not too cool, not too humid, not too dry, not too light, not too dark.

This morning I dropped Liam off at the train station. He's heading up to Vancouver for the rest of the week.

I'm glad he came.

My friend Liam is in from Toronto. I've been showing him around. We've had a blast. Friday we spent the day at Mt Rainier. Saturday, Mac and Joe took us out on their boat. We toured and Lake Washington and Lake Union.

I've helped Tommy clean up his blog a bit. Something weird is still happening with it. But, I'm not sure how to fix it.

Tonight I bought tiki torches for the deck. Steven and I sat out had a drink and enjoyed the night. The evening weather was perfect. Not too hot. Not too cool. The tiki torches helped with the bugs. I haven't bought the fogger yet Tommy, but I'm looking for one. I haven't seen it in a store here.

 

It was warm and sunny this past weekend. Saturday C2 and I worked on the deck. We have one more day of wood work left. Yeah!

Sunday, I hung out with Matt and Sandy and two of their friends in from Pittsburg. We swam, and floated in Lake Geneva.

It's been very hot lately. High's in the 90s. Tommy may be used to those tempuratures, but here in Seattle, its burning us up. Very few homes have air conditioners-- mine included.

I had a BBQ last night, Matt, Sandy, C2 and Steven were over. We sat out on the deck and enjoyed the cooler evening weather. I need to get more tiki tourches or citronella candles. There are many bugs in my back yard.

Harley and I have been writing each other. Harley didn't realize his ex sent me that email and promised to talk to him and calm him down.
 
When I write Harley, I pick my words very carefully. Things will be ok. I don't want another misunderstanding.
 

Steven and Vic were in Vancouver for the weekend to watch one of Vic's kids play in a softball ternament. His son's team won the gold metal!
 
Saturday evening I drove up to Vancouver to join them. We had dinner at the Fountainhead and drinks at Pump Jack. I ran into about half a dozen people that I knew. Which is odd because when I go out in Seattle I run into a similar number of a aquaintences.
 
After Pump Jack, we went to Fritz, a fast food restaurant that only sells gourmet fries. At 1am, fries with cheese and gravy really hits the spot.
 
I slept in Sunday morning, visited relatives, did some shopping and headed home.
 

Sigh. I just got an nasty email from Harley's ex. I talked to C2 about it. We both agree that right now the thing to do is to ignore it. If he contacts me again I have to tell him to bud out. That'd I'd like to stay friends with Harley, but what happened between Harley and I is our private business.
 
Barry,I will get to the point here. I recently spoke to Harley and he was angry over the fact that he had previously made it very clear to you the high standards, expectations, and integrity he is looking for in a friend or future romantic interest. I spent 8 years with Harley and know that he is a VERY honest and sincere person who does not lie. When he previously had mentioned that you two had a mutual interest in each other, I flat out told Harley I knew who you were (RFR trash), and knew that you would be true to form with the rest of the RFR “Bear” crowd who costumes behind flannel shirts and Carhardts pretending to be more than a bunch of queens and   “bottom hoes” that pass STD’s to each other and are looking for the next fresh meat to suck. I know…you all have high integrity and are relationship oriented (yeah right), but in the mean time you have no problem sleeping with anyone and everything and will even prey on “good” people to satisfy your selfish needs until you meet Mr. Right. Well after I heard the story of your rude friends and your ability to use Howard as just another trick, I took it upon myself to make sure you act like a real man (for once in your life). Even though you are obviously an emotionally, mentally, and sexually dysfunctional person, I still expect you to apologize to Harley for your inappropriate (but typical) behavior of leading him on just so he could be your next trick. (Note: He deserves way better than you bud). However you do it, I will expect nothing less in the next few days but you calling Harley and explaining to him that what went on between you two was not just a “booty call”, and was a misunderstanding.  Barry, I will be straight up, if I don’t here from Harley you have made this call you will have to report to me next…..as you can see I am not a nice guy nor do I really give a shit what you think. As you can see by this e-mail, I have a little more aggressive personality than most. If you have a problem with me I would be more than glad to meet you and “step off the curb” to defend Harley . See…I am good to those who are close to me.   I protect and look out for them.  I actually treat others well and do not use others. Something you never learned. As well, if you do not call Harley and I ever see you in public, whether by yourself or at dinner or at the bar with a group of friends, I will not hesitate to call you out and humiliate you for your inappropriate behavior towards Harley . How you conduct your life is your business, but don’t drag good innocent people into your gutter of sexual dysfunction. Save that for xxx, xxx, xxx and xxx….your mentors. I expect a call to Harley

Yesterday the new shower glass arrived. I worked from home while it was installed.

Working from home is always fun. There are so many extra distractions. I did the laundry, watched TV and ate cheese and Cheerios.

I worked extra late to make up for my loafing.

The weather was perfect on Tuesday evening. Steven and I used the deck for the first time. We had drinks and talked-- work stress, how things are going with friends, weekend plans, stuff like that.

Steven is back in town. We had dinner together last night. We talked about going to Vancouver this weekend. C2 wants to go camping, but Steven will be in Vancouver for a softball tournament with Vic's kids. We'll see.

Yay. For the first time in weeks my truck took less than $50.00 for a fill-up.

I didn't do much this past week. For a while I thought I blanked out-- I couldn't remember Tuesday. Then I remembered last week was a four day week. What I thought was Monday was actually Tuesday.

Wednesday night I watched too much TV.

Thursday night-- same thing. Sigh.

I spent Friday night with Harley. I think the point has come when I have to tell him we are not dating. I think he suspects that, but it will be good to clear the air.

Saturday I worked on the deck and the yard. In the evening I had dinner with C2, Matt and Sandy. Sandy is going to Lazy Bear all by himself. That's causing Matt and Sandy to fight. Matt is convinced that Lazy Bear is all about cruising, partying and having sex. Sandy says he's going there to spend time with friends. Matt is invited but doesn't want to go.

The gang sides with Matt. Every one I've known to go to Lazy Bear, went for the cruising, partying and sex.

Before dinner, C2 and I talked about ways we could bring up Lazy Bear, just to make Sandy squirm. We decided that we didn't have to bring up Lazy Bear. Matt would do it for us. We were right. Matt brought it up. Sandy said "I really don't want to talk about this."

Last night I saw Spider Man 2. I ended up being disappointed. Maybe it was all the hype about how good it was. The special effects were great, but I didn't care about the villain or if Peter Parker and Mary Jane got together. The villain was too simple. He becomes evil because he has to be evil; otherwise there wouldn't be a movie. And just when it looks like Spider Man will fail and the world will be destroyed, the villain becomes good and saves the day.

Bleah.

I had a good relaxing weekend.

Friday evening was dinner at Siam's with C2, Matt, Sandy, Muligan and G.

Saturday morning C2, his lesbo's and I hiked the Hyak Tunnel. The Hyak Tunnel is an abandoned two mile long train tunnel. It's an easy walk but eerie and claustrophobic. For most of the way you walk in pitch black. Even the lesbo's dogs were slightly scared.

Saturday evening I joined Mac and Joe on their boat. They were part of a flotilla with a local gay yacht club. The yacht club members seem to be good people.

Later in the evening, I met the Doctor. He's a real doctor; a good man. I ended up spending the night with him. We tried to be discreet, but there is very little privacy in a flotilla. I left his boat at 6am, hoping to get back to Mac and Joe's before anyone noticed. But, when you walk across a calm boat, it rocks. End result-- everyone one figured out where I spent the night.

I took a lot of ribbing for that. Several times other yachters said "Morning?" to Mac and Joe while motining to me. The didn't mean "Good Morning?" They meant "Was he the guy who walked accross my boat this morning?" Mac would nodd back "Morning."

Mac and Joe went out of their way fill in the rest of the gang. When Matt and Sandy arrived, before I had a chance to say "Hello" to them, Matt asked "How was your visit to the Doctor? Did he ask you to cough?"

Sunday evening we watched the fireworks on Lake Union.

Monday morning we had breakfast. Afterwords C2 and I left.

Sunday evening, called me and asked me to pick him up at the airport. He and Vic spent the weekend in L.A. Shortly after I met him at the arrivals level, he asked "How was the Doctor?"

Bastard. I hate plumbing.

I went back to Home Depot to get the drain pipe for the new garbage disposer. I browsed around the plastic pipe area with out much hope. The bend I need was too tight for the pipes they make. I found something that I thought might work, so I picked it up and went over to the disposer area to try and find the magic disposer-unjamming wrench I heard about.

Well, I found the wrench. It's the same wrench I used with the old disposer to tighten and loosen sink connection.

I bought the pipe and went home. Sure enough, the pipe didn't bend right. So, I tried the old unjamming wrench on the old jammed disposer.

It cleared the jam up in 10 seconds flat.

Bleah. I still don't have a working garbage disposer. I bought a new disposer. Even though I bought the same make and model, the drain for the new disposer is a different attachment type than the old.

Now I'm going back. I'm going to buy the wrench that unjams disposers. (Thanks to whoever mentioned it) I'm also going to buy the right tubing to hook the new disposer up. We'll see what's easiest.

I think my garbage disposer is dead. I broke a glass. Some shards went down the disposer intake. I didn't clean the glass out, I just turned the disposer on and hoped it would clear the glass.

It didn't. It got jammed. Very jammed. I've taken the disposer off the drain and tried to clean it out. That didn't work. Right now I either have to take the disposer apart to try and figure out the jam or I have to buy a new disposer. A new disposer is $150.00. Fixing the old disposer will take hours. I don't have that much free time and there is no guaranteed that I can fix the problem and properly put the disposer back together. On top of that, the dishwasher drains through the disposer. So I can't use the dishwasher until the disposer is hooked up.

Sigh. I guess I buy the new disposer.

Last night my neighbor, P, and I bicycled around Mercer Island. We were so proud of our exercising that we stopped off at the Roanoke Inn for some beer and munchies.

Sunday was Seattle's Gay Pride Day.

As usual the parade was overly long and boring. I arrived at least an hour into the parade. It still went on for another two hours.

After the parade, Behr the Tease and I met up with Mac and Joe at Volunteer Park for some more Pride Events. We listened too the bands and toured the booths. It's amazing how mainstream the Pride Events are. Aside from the usual left wing causes, there was a garage door company, a window company, an auto dealership and a yacht club.

Today at work is annual review day! Yeah!

Many people are walking the halls, sarcastically saying "I like doing reviews." Most of us are conviced that our rank, salary and bonus have already been decided. Our review will only be used to justify management's decision.

Hmmm. I was going over today's Web Bug log. I noticed that someone got hear by searching for a defunct catering business that I was a partner in. I also know that C2 and I talked about said business yesterday. I really hope that C2 didin't stumble on this page.

I gotta leave the links and proper nouns out. I just removed the busines's name from this blog. Hopefully it will fall out of the search engines soon.

I've been working late. Steven got back last night. We had dinner together at Melrose Grill and then played mini-golf.

I looked the Melrose Grill up on the web. It won second place for The Seattle Weekly's "Best Place to Eat in Renton" First place was "I WOULDN'T EAT IN RENTON/I'D RATHER DIE"

Yes, my city, Renton, is not a coveted suburb. It's not a high crime area. It's just that most of it is old and poorly maintained. Much of the new is strip-mall. On the plus side, in the past couple of years the city planners have fixed that. Renton is starting to be interesting.

I took it easy on Sunday. Did nothing in the morning. Went cycling in the afternoon.

Late afternoon I met up with C2 at the Cuff. We ran into George. He just quit work. He works for the same company I do. He doesn't have a job now. He's going to take a year off to do what he wants.

After the Cuff we went to C2's place for a BBQ with C2's room mate. We watched Six Feet Under, and Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman. What a horrible movie. we fast forwarded over the talkie parts and wanted the lame special effects segments. It's a good bad movie, but you really have to like bad movies.

Yesterday I pulled blackberry bushes out of my back yard. My forearms now have many little scrapes. The yard looks much better though. I also found that I've got a patch of wild strawberries.

Yesterday evening, C2, Matt and I had dinner together. We had dinner at the Machiavelli and dessert at the 611 Supreme. Good food. It's been a long time since I have had dinner and dessert at great restaurants.

C2 left after that. Matt and I had a drink at the Manray. Matt reaffirmed his hate of bars and his commitment to Sandy.

I was home by 10:30. I chatted with Steven, emailed Harley, soaked in the tub and then hit the sack.

The next day I go this from Harley...

"Amazing. Your nights sound very similar to mine. But I can't help it wonder what one of Seattle's most eligable bachelors is doing at home on Friday and Saturday night, when the weather is so nice. I would think you'd be out baiting your hook to see what you could catch to put in the new hot tub. Not that I want to put such ideas in your head, but you are wasting your best and most sellable years at home. You should fish before your bait goes stale. I, on the other hand, am at least making money on my weekend nights. I'm beyond my prime and more interested in building up my retirement instead.
"

I spent the past two nights assembling an Ikea Wardrobe. Sigh. It's not that hard, it just has many screws and needs a lot of nails. Nails! This is Ikea furniture that needs more than an Alan wrench. I've used a drill, a hammer and 3 kinds of screwdrivers.

It looks nice though and should be very functional.

At some point I know I'll stop buying Ikea furniture. It always looks nice in the beginning, but, it doesn't age well. They use too much particle board which always ends up splintering. But, Ikea has found the sweet spot for affordable, functional and attractive stuff. It may not age well, but it works and it's not that expensive.

Weird Trivia. Ingvar Kamprad, the founder of Ikea has overtaken Bill Gates as the worlds richest man.

A while back, I added a web bug to this web page. The web bug tells me a few simple things about the people who read this journal-- the reader's IP address, time zone, and how they got to this page.

When I started the web bug, I only wanted to see the IP address and the time zone. I wanted to prove that some friends were reading this page (I know you are T&C!)

The referral page turned out to be much more interesting. I discovered how most people find this web site-- searching for porn. Especially misspelled porn. Things like "mastrabation", "big brests" or "afica nude". To be fair, some people get here searching for properly spelled porn-- "porn garage dump", "i got laid by two guys" or "jail house gay twinks."

I broke the glass in my shower door. I took the doors out while I was seeling a leak. I was a bit too rough putting the glass back and one door shattered in my hands. I got off lucky-- a few small cuts and a bruised ego.

Steven helped me clean things up. it took over an hour of vacuuming and sweeping.

Thanks Steven.

So I've told Officer Peter, thanks but no thanks. It would have been nice to see him again, but I'd rather put my efforts into finding someone here in Seattle. On top of that, I'm still seeing Harley. I'm don't think we are dating. We haven't had that talk yet. We just spend some time together.

Speaking of Harley, He's comming over tonight. We are having dinner with C2 and some of his friends.

Vic is in town as well.

I'm finally feeling better. My carbuncle is drying up. I don't feel sick any more.

Last night I went to see Jaded52. My friend Ryan now plays guitar in the band. It was his first time on stage. Jaded 52 is a solid alt-punk-rock band. Even though I'm not a big punk fan, I enjoyed the show.

Over lunch we noticed that if you took a company slogan and put it on underwear, you often end up with something funny and kinky.

Imagine "Where do you want to go today?" on a pair of boxers.
"Think Different"
"Drivers Wanted"
"We Try Harder"
"I'm Lovin' It"
"Like Nothing Else"
"Obey Your Thirst"

It's becomming an annual event. Officer Peter is from Portland. I met him in the summer of 2002. We tried to keep in touch, but it ended.

Out of the blue, in June 2003, I got an email from Peter asking "Say, would you like to spend a weekend together?" We did. I had a great time. We tried to keep in touch. it ended.

Guess who just emailed and wants to spend a weekend together?

I had a fairly quiet weekend. I'm a little sick, so I took it easy. The doctor put me on an antibiotic and a pain killer.

Saturday night I had dinner with C2, Matt and Sandy. We had a good time. After dinner we had coffee at Starbucks. A social group for deaf people was also at the Starbucks. There were at least a hundred people there furiously signing to each other.

Or maybe they weren't 'furiously' signing, just regular signing. I can't tell. It was surreal to see that many people waving their hands in the air.

Harley was over last night. We had dinner and coitus :)~

This week Harley is driving all over the place visiting remote branches for his company. Today he was in Port Townsend which is at least two hours away from Seattle.

Harley is a very nice guy. He's also a pushover. Unfortunatly I'm not falling in love with him. I'm going to let things go a little while longer. He'll be a good friend.

I spent Friday night with Harley. It was fun. I'm going to put effort into getting to know him.

He's very handsome with a great body. On the down side, we lead very different lives. He doesn't have many friends. He doesn't read newspapers or watch TV. He doesn't use the Internet. It's hard for me to have a deep conversation with him. But, he is a very nice guy.

On Sunday and Monday C2 and I wired up the hot tub. Yes, it took two days to do the wiring. The hot tub is 50 feet away from the house. We had to lay a lot of conduit and dig trenches for the wire.

C2 is a great friend. I don't know why he helps me so much with my house. I know it's not love. I know he doesn't want to move in. I owe him big time. Any one have a suggestion for a gift?

This morning the tub was finally ready to use. Steven and I jumped in and enjoyed.

The hot tub came this morning. It fits nicely with the deck. The electrical isn't in yet so it will be a few days before we can use it.

It wasn't too much work to get the tub to the pad. My contractor thought they'd need to use a crane. Instead I mowed a 4 foot wide path through the blackberries to my neighbor's. We then brought the tub in from my neighbor's driveway.

As an added bonus, I got to meet my neighbors when I asked for permission to go on their land. We don't see each other very often. I'm at the top of a hill. They are at the bottom. Their drive way goes down the hill along my land.

New look. I did it accidentally. I like all the new features blogger has. Unfortunatly in the proces I lost all my old comments.