I had a good workout last night. I'm at a weird point with my bench press. I could add more weight but I don't feel it's safe. When they push a lot of weight, they work fine for 10 or 11 reps, but then they collapse. I can do 12 reps at my current weight (150lbs) but my muscles feel like they are at the verge of collapse. I'm worried if I add any more wieght, that I'll hurt myself.

I wish I had a spotter. I'll try 155lbs for 10 reps and see how it goes.

I am also working on not thinking about Harry. Although he hasn't said it, his actions make it very clear he doesn't want me in his life. It's frustrating to want someone who doesn't want you. I wish I could switch those feelings off.