1. The work week ended well. Far better than it could have. My boss, my team and I came up with a plan. Now we have to execute on it.

2. C2 was in town for the weekend. Two months ago he had asymptomatic COVID. He is now over it, so he is much more comfortable traveling. He visited his father-- in the same room with a mask. He has prickly relations with his sister and his step mom. No visits there. His step mom was angry at the masked visit with his father. She is uncomfortable with him because he had COVID.

3. I'm trying to make a plan for me reading. Mostly I choose my books based on whats interesting to me, and whats available at the local library. Right now I'm getting the urge to focus on one topic. Not sure what it is yet. 

My boss is a chaos junkie. He is a very wise man. Very hard working. Is great with people. And he doesn't think twice about throwing a wrench into the plan. It can be very frustrating at times. 

I see that part of my job now is to draw these impulses out of him as far in advance as possible, collect them all into one document, polish them up, and make it look to the team like we know what we are doing; not just suddenly shifting from left to right.

1. My brother is basically over COVID. He is more tired than he used to be, but is back to work.

2. We are settling into January. The holidays are over. Work has started in full force again. Back into the groove. Saturday, we took a long walk with the brother-in-law along the water front. It was good to get out of the house.

The brother-in-law is struggling. He is working hard to recover from his last alcoholic meltdown. The circumstances don't help. 

3. The husbands birthday is coming up. He always says he doesn't want something special. He is always greatly appreciative of something special. 

My brother and his wife have covid. For a week now they've had bad cold symptoms plus joint and muscle pain. He says they have had a few shitty days, but are starting to improve.

1. We spent the past few days resting. The husband is still blue from the death of his father. As it should be. He is finding strength in his AA meetings.

2. I have a frozen shoulder. "What is a frozen shoulder?" you ask. I injured my shoulder sometime back in the fall. Probably slept on it wrong. Rather than stretching it and moving it regularly, I just let it rest. As a result, the injured tendons became weak, scarred and tough. I lost my range of motion. 

Of course I didn't know that. I was just resting my shoulder, thinking it would heal. I went to the doctor yesterday to figure out what was going on. He quickly diagnosed it (It's a common injury) and prescribed physiotherapy.

Lesson to myself-- don't kick my health problems down the road. Understand them and make a plan.

We are back home. My father-in-laws estate has mostly been taken care of. His room at the retirement home is cleaned out. 

We spent some time with my mother-in-law. The husbands mother and father have been divorced for years, but they remain close. She is sad to see an old friend die.

This morning at 3am, we left Sacramento and drove back to Seattle. 3am is early, but if leave later, then we end up hitting traffic in Eugene, Portland, Olympia or Seattle.

I'm glad to be home. We are exhausted, but we can sleep in our own bed tonight. 

Happy New Years!

The days since my father-in-laws death have been straightforward. He was ninety years old and suffering for so long that the family is a bit relieved with his passing. He didn't die alone. He got to spend Christmas with his children. What more could anyone ask for?

We are spending a few more days in Sacramento. The husband and my brother-in-law are cleaning up my father-in-law's old room. That shouldn't take long. He didn't have much. 

Hopefully his will is straight forward. My mother-in-law is the executor. She sometimes sounds a little overwhelmed or confused by the task. There is a reason why people pay lawyers for this.

Last night, my father-in-law passed away.

My father-in-law went to the hospital about a week ago... the day before we returned from Hawaii. The hospital moved him to hospice a day later. He wasn't responding to changes in his medication. He decided to stop his medication, except a low dose of pain killers.

This is the third time my father-in-law has been to hospice. The previous times he just got better and was released. Even this time with each passing day he appeared to regain some health, to be in better spirits and to have a clearer head. As we planned to head back to Sacramento, we were wondering if he would just get better again.

We decided to drive down to Sacramento on Christmas day.  Christmas Eve, our roommate, my brother-in-law, the husband and I had a nice dinner and exchanged gifts. Then the brother-in-law, the husband and I went to bed early. We woke up at 3am and got on the road.

We arrived in Sacramento late afternoon. We checked into the hotel, had a small dinner with the mother-in-law and then headed over to the father-in-law. Previously the husband and the brother-in-law both tested negative for COVID, so the nurse let them spend time in the same room with their father.

They spent about an hour and a half together. It sounded like they had a good time. 

We went to bed. This morning at seven the mother-in-law called with the news-- that their father had passed away in the night. 

It will be a couple hours before the coroner removes the body. The husband and the brother-in-law are headed over to spend some last time with him.

1. Tommy and Bathwater bring good advice...

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2020/12/we-no-longer-need-to-engage-with-trumps-die-hard-supporters/617449/

2. We are back. And because life can never be simple... the husband's father is in the hospital. We are trying to figure out how to head down to California. 

So, what are we doing while America is in pandemic lockdown, after friends and acquaintances have had COVID? We flew to Hawaii for a week.

We are keeping this trip a low profile on Facebook. 

We had a rapid test done in Seattle. We flew the six hour flight with masks and a visor. Doing so was a uncomfortable, but not unbearable.

We visited a couple here who were friends from Seattle. They moved to the big island two years ago. 

The visit got the husband and i talking. We both love vacationing in Hawaii, but have no desire to move here. It's expensive. The heat is pleasant for a few days, but then i start to feel low energy. I feel most energized when it's in the 50s or 60s. The 80s slow me down.

1...

We filled out our holiday cards today. Maybe eight of them. It's a few hours of toil. It feels good to get it done.

Editing the address list always brings back memories. There were a few friends we haven't heard from in a while. Years really. It's a judgment call with these... who should we cut out? who should we try one more time? 

Sandy reappeared on our list after being cut out years ago. He's been reaching out again. It's good to hear from him.

One death on the list. One divorce. 

Four new people on the list. I like that we have new friends in the time a pandemic. 

2...

I called an old friend today for the first time since the pandemic began. I've known him for years-- maybe 25. He is from my old city, so the distance makes it difficult to stay in touch. 

While we were sharing this years disaster stories, he asked me some weird but serious questions about COVID (he had proof it was an escaped Chinese bio weapon), the election fraud (How bad was it that the the judicial system had turned down so much evidence) and the Antifa (How big are they? Am I far away enough from downtown Seattle that I'd be OK if they attacked.) I chose my words carefully. I didn't want to get into a deep debate on this. 

This did get me thinking though. Mentally, I still separate Trump supporters from Republicans who support Trump because he is the president. These Republicans may stay quiet on Trump theatrics for various personal reasons (lower taxes? abortion?) but, by and large they don't support his him as a person. 

Is that true? Does 45% of the country really believe the election was stolen? That COVID is a globalist conspiracy to take over the U.S? 

Either way, how should I engage people who radically disagree with me on not only on the facts and analysis, but the process chosen to determine what is a fact, what is evidence? Staying silent sounds like I tacitly agree. Confronting polarizes them and ends the conversation. Somehow I have to convey a loving and supportive doubt.  "Stay with me... I love you and I want to listen to you even though we disagree. I know this is the best you can do right now..."

A friend who is sometimes unclear on the concept...

1. Work has been busy for the husband and I this week.

2. The brother in law is applying for jobs. He has an interview for an Amazon warehouse role, and another interview as a support rep for an insurance company.

3. It's been cool and sunny here of late. I love this weather.

4. For the first time in my life I built my own PC and installed linux on it. Part of me did this because much of my work team is very anti Microsoft, anti Apple. I'm showing off to the cool kids at work, trying to get there respect.

Honestly, it took me about three weeks to build the PC. The first week it wouldn't even power up. The second week it would power up, but stop and blink all sorts of error lights. 

1. Friday I had a root canal. It went well. No pain now.

2. We feasted on Thanksgiving. Wednesday, the brother-in-law, H and the husband started prepping for dinner. Thursday they cooked it all up. I swear we had enough food for 12 people-- a cheese and veggie tray and deviled eggs to start, then turkey, candied yams, brussels sprouts, mashed potatoes, mac and cheese. Pies, brownies and tarts for dessert. 

We did not need all that food. It am very thankful to be leaving this way, with good friend, in the middle of a pandemic. 

The husband has already bought and wrapped my Christmas gift. He is very thoughtful like that. My brain is more like... hmmm... the holidays are coming up... o yeah... Christmas... should I get gifts for people?... I hate shopping... 

I developed a toothache over the weekend. I'm about to head into the dentist to see what's going on. 

 

Wind and rain today. The gardener is having one last go at the back yard before winter sets in. We've removed the hanging plants. We've cleaned and refilled the hummingbird feeders-- some humming birds, Anna's, will stay here year around.

The state is locking things down again. Covid is spiking. We've started buying larger batches of grocers so we won't go to the store so often. H, our room mate, rushed to get one last workout in before her gym closed due to the lock down. 

The brother-in-law is sober now. Since he arrived, he's been sitting on the sofa. Sometimes watching TV. Mostly contemplating his life.

Why does he want to drink... why is he driven to drink, even when he is past the point where he has lost his job, where his drinking is causes serious health problems? Why does he need someone there to stop him from drinking more?

1. The brother-in-law got out of detox a few days and proceeded to start drinking again. Today he called the husband, asking for help.

The husband and H are responding to the call. They will pick up the brother in law and drive him back to our place.

I don't understand addiction. I've never had problems saying no to alcohol or drugs. And yet, I'm married to a man in AA. Many of my friends are also members. 

Perhaps I should attend Al Anon more regularly. 

2. The brother in law is here now. He is looking rough. He is drunk. 

 The time is going by. Work is intense by day.

Did I mention... the husband got a promotion. I'm happy for him. His work has ramped up as a result though. 

The brother in law is in a mental health center detoxing, being counseled. He is in good spirits and talks to the husband at least once a day. 

He seems to have these meltdowns every year or so. He has for as long as I've known him. It's my hope that this time he will be cured. Maybe we are expecting too much from him-- that this time he will stay sober. 

Maybe I have to accept that, from time to time, the brother in law will hit a low. All I can do is love him for who he is.