Tommy commented... "I imagine it is worse, far worse than a lil hurricane...since it covers many miles in all directions and the Smell is ever present"

I'm not sure how to compare the smoke to a hurricane. The smoke won't damage your home. It's a slow, drawn out thing. For most of us, it's not life threatening. You just feel low energy all the time and develop a scratchy throat. 

A hurricane hits you hard. Then it's over and you can assess the damage and come up with a plan.

Next topic... I made vinegar. Back when we were in California, the father-in-law gave me a case of cheap wine. I didn't feel like drinking it, so I decided to make vinegar with it. It's not hard.

The first batch finished yesterday. And, it tastes like vinegar. Nothing special. Maybe a bit stronger than regular white wine vinegar.

I pickled a batch of green beans with it. We shall see how that turns out.

The smoke is crazy today. I lose my breath walking up a hill I could ordinarily jog up. I am looking forward to the rains.

 I spoke too soon about glorious weather. We had about a day of smoke from the fires in eastern Washington.

The brother-in-law has stopped his alcoholic bender. He is back to work. The husband spends a few evenings a week with him. It's good for both of them.

I've been planning out how to spend some time with my parents. Because they are in Canada, I will have to quarantine for 15 days before I can visit them as the law says you cant quarantine in a house with anyone over the age of 65. This means I will need to spend probably three weeks in Canada. Too long to take vacation. So I must work from Canada for a few weeks. 

I've found a place where I can stay for two weeks-- I have many friends in Ontario. Now I have to check in with the husband. I don't think he'll be able to work from remote from Canada for three weeks. 

Too much planning. 

I see the first hints of fall. The flowers are past their prime. Some of the trees are dry, leaves turning brown.

Our backyard has a bit of a natural sundial. The sun only clears the tallest trees during the longest days of summer. Now with the days growing shorter, our afternoon sunlight is filtered by leaves.

Still, the weather is glorious. Sunny. Warm. No hints of the Seattle rain just yet.

Sunday we arrived home. I felt my mood lift up as I got out of the car. In Sacramento the temperature was 100F. The air was thick with smoke from the fires. In the Pacific Northwest the air is clean and the temperature is around 72F. 

The husband is heading downtown to spend the afternoon with his brother. The brother is trying to stay sober and to keep things together. The husband desperately wants him to succeed. 

Of course the news and work is also weighing heavily on the husband. This morning he asked how I handled it? Do I just ignore it? I took a breath and responded "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change..."

It's going better than we thought. My mother-in-law's spirits are much improved now that she is home from the recovery center. She can use a walker to get around. 

Nurses will be dropping by regularly for physical & occupational therapy.

To be honest, I didn't know that there was a difference between physical and occupational therapy until now.

Later this week we are having a lift installed at her house. 

The biggest complication could be her pets.. The mother in-law's dog is very old and blind. She wanders randomly around the house. She pees and poos wherever she feels like it. She is on much medication. The first night we were here, we woke up to whimpering. The dog got stuck in a box and couldn't get out. 

That dog is not long for this world.

The brother-in-law is also on the mend. I'm not sure he is sober just yet, but he has started attending Zoom AA meetings. 

 I see the hurricanes coming your way Tommy. God bless. 

 

 We are on our way to the inlaws in California. The haze in the  photo is from the California wildfires. You can taste and smell it in the air.

I am actually not really sure what's going on with my brother-in-law. He didn't actually check himself into detox. Since then, he has been calling and texting the husband, asking for help. The husband drove to the brother-in-law's place and tried to pick him up, but the brother-in-law didn't open the door, or respond to shouts from the street. 

The husband is done with his brother. Right now my mother-in-law is in the hospital. She will need help when she gets out. We are traveling to California this weekend for that. The brother-in-law is making his own choices. He has to deal with these consequences. 

The brother in law has fallen of the wagon. This morning he checked himself into a detox. This has been weighing heavily on the Husband. Thankfully the Husband didn't come to his rescue. The brother in law made this choice himself. 

 

We are at peak summer. The flower are in full boom. The weather is perfect. The days are sunny and warm

The mother in law is doing better. She will get out of recovery in another week or two. When that happens we will head down to California to care for her for a couple of weeks. 

We were out on a friends boat today. We trolled past where the billionaires live. It's interesting to see the degrees of richness. There are those who have a nice house on the water. There are those who have a very big and nice house on the water. There are those who have a very big and nice house with a huge manicured lawn along the water. Then there are those rare few who live in what appear to be huge parks along the water and have security that will chase you away if you linger too long. 

The brother-in-law has moved out. He's found a little studio apartment in downtown Seattle. Yesterday the husband helped him move. 

Yesterday evening was quiet. I didn't realize how accustomed I've become to his constant engagement.

The mother-in-law-- after a good nights sleep, she became much more even tempered. She still isn't happy where she is. We are not either. The staff sounds over worked. Nothing dangerous though. 

My mother in law is angry at everything. She is in a recovery center now and seem to be in good hands, though she is in pain.

The husband the brother-in-law are spending a lot of time listening to her. They are worried that the medical staff around her will give up because of her non-stop anger. The options to move her to another recovery center are very limited because of COVID. Also, there is no guarantee that she won't be just as angry in the next recovery center since she can't really express why she is angry. When the husband asked her questions about what was wrong and what she needed, she becomes angry at him for asking questions, for not helping. 

Otherwise, thing would be nice here in Seattle. The weather is wonderful. Our jobs are going well. 

My father needs knee surgery. He will probably have this surgery in November. I'm trying to figure out how to join him. He is in Canada, so I will need to quarantine for two weeks before I see him. Canada actually enforces these things so I can't cheat. 

When it rains it pours.

Last night my mother-in-law fell and broke her pelvis. She is in the hospital and will require long term care.

The husband and I figuring out our plans now. 

"These lessons that our parents are teaching us. This is not how you live." -- my brother-in-law


We are back home.
Thursday we drove the 13 hours from the in-laws to our place.

Things ended well my father-in-law. He seems to be happy in the new place. He is socializing a little. He is eating proper meals. He is taking his medications appropriately. His voice is a little more cheerful.

My mother-in-law is now considering her situation.

My friend C2 is fond of pointing out that decisions can be decisive, delayed, or desperate. The latter happening when you put off making hard choices, when you run out of time and end up accepting the only option on the table.

The seems to be what my father-in-law did. He desperately wanted to retain his freedom and to keep everyone happy. Maybe if he pushed the hard choices off a bit, then he would feel better. More energized. That's not what happened. He ended up unable to take care of himself in the hospital and needing someone to quickly move him.

My mother-in-law is also going down that path. The retirement homes she can afford aren't nice enough for her, so she keeps pushing off the decision. Most of the day she sits alone in her house. Her social circle have greatly shrunk due to COVID. She is on oxygen. She is too tired to drive anywhere or do things, especially in the heat of the north-central California summer.

I hope she makes a decisive choice.

In the future, I hope I make a decisive choice.

Why does my father-in-law have all this food that expired in 2016? Why not 2018? 2014? 

 

What do you do with a CD player when the lone CD with the player is from the one concert that your father-in-law and his son attended decades ago. 

 

What about the Z-ion cleanse? What is a Z-ion cleanse? It looks valuable. It may be valuable to someone? Should we try to sell it? Is this just garbage tricking us into keeping it.

 

What do you do with a five year old washer and dryer when the divorced mother-in-law says “mine are twenty years old, and your father promised me his years ago, and I’ll need you to help me move them”  in the one hundred degree heat. And to help get rid of her old ones.

The dryer is gas and she doesn’t have gas. She changes her mind. Thank God.

 

What about these two bottles of brandy and the case of wine? I thought he didn’t drink. Lets not ask. Let me just set them aside, where no one will notice.

 

There are ice cream sandwiches in the freezer. Why didn’t you tell me there are ice cream sandwiches in the freezer? What is that guilty look on your face? Have you been secretly eating ice cream sandwiches and not sharing?

 

Why are there a dozen remotes, but none go with the TVs? 

 

What to do with the computer that belonged to your deceased  brother, that was last turned on by him years ago?

 

Or the model train. 

 

Or the baseball caps.

 

Or the nick knacks from trips long past. 

 

Or the boxes of cards and photos.

 

When are sentimental things just a trap that bogs you down? When can they provide constructive experiences evoking those that you love?

 

Tommy… I agree with you… at some point it is best to keep the money in the bank and live in a smaller place. In comfortable surroundings. Among kindred spirits.. 

 

And it is best to be there long before your physical and mental abilities decline to the point where you have no choice and must depend on others.

Why are there dead bees on the carpet?

My father-in-law is in his new apartment. Its one room with a kitchen and bathroom in an assisted living facility. 

Yesterday morning, my husband, his brother and their sister brought a few things over from my father-in-laws old apartment and set the new one up nicely.

My father-in-law arrived late in the afternoon. Covid prevents them from being together, though they can open a window to the outside and talk through it.

Today we start to clean out my father-in-law's old apartment. 

Today we went on another long road trip to California 

The husband, his brother and I left Seattle around 4:30am.  We arrived at my mother-in-law's by 8:30pm. Along the way we stopped for a couple of hours-- the husband and I both had to take calls for work.

My father in law moves tomorrow. He'll be out of the hospital and into his assisted living apartment. Quarantine rules are in effect so we won't be close to him for some time.

The husband and his brother have headed over to my father-in-law's old apartment to get a few last things and bring them to his new place.

We'll be here a week before we head back. In that time we'll shut down the father-in-law's old apartment. 

We hosted a going away party today. A friend is moving away from Seattle and we wanted to say good bye.

There were eight guests. We all wore masks, except while we ate. It was good to see everyone and to send our friend off.

Afterwards the husband and I had a good conversation about social distancing. This part was a little larger I am comfortable with, though I could easily keep my distance. Everyone there got it. No one complained about wearing masks. In fact, we encouraged each other.

I have finally found some masks that I like, that are comfortable, and that don't cause my glasses to fog up too much. There is still much to learn about mask etiquette. How safe am I being if I regularly push my mask aside to sip at my drink? Or eat a hamburger?

Two good neighbours are moving. They both work in the airline industry, one for the big jet manufacturer and one as a stewardess. This last year has not been kind to them or their jobs.

The husband's father will be OK. He is still in the hospital; just under observation. The family is planning what will happen after he gets out. He is no longer capable of living alone. He needs assisted living.

Currently, the husband and I, and maybe the brother in law, will drive down to California next week. We will pack his things and move what we can.

My father in law is in the hospital. Breathing problems. 

The animal that's across the street-- that's a bear. I came across it while I was walking the dog. The dog started a stare off with the bear. I turned around and we went back home.

We are back from California.

The rental that we stayed at had live stock. Cows, pigs & chickens.

The trip itself was emotionally draining. My father-in-law is 90. His health is declining and he now needs regular help. With Covid, we don't want to move him to an assistive care facility.

There is a bit of a plan now-- a cousin will move in with the father-in-law for a while.

Of course it's all more complex than that. My father-in-law doesn't want anyone to worry about him. He'd rather sit in his apartment and rot than ask anyone for help. It took a lot of patient listening until we figured out what is going wrong and to hear his concerns.

Yesterday we drove to central California. We are staying here for a week to visit the husband's parents and to get a little R&R. 

We are not actually on vacation.. We rented a nice apartment for the week. Both of us brought our laptops and are going to work during the day. 

Two thoughts on this... First, the husbands parents can be tiring if you spend more than a couple of hours with them. By renting a place and working during the day, we can visit with them every night for a week. 

Second, COVID means we must work remote. Travel is very restricted. Lets try new things and see how they go.

Over the weekend Brown had a BBQ at his place. He lives across the Sound, so we had a good ferry ride to visit him.

The dog has been groomed for the first time in months. With short hair, she is not heating up as quickly, and has regained a lot of energy.

Got him. It only took two months and, um, an expensive new camera.

Corona-virus thoughts-- lately I'm feeling different about this situation. I used to feel like I just had to bear down and power though it. Now I'm feeling... acceptance?

I want to start exploring how to live in a world where will must perpetual distancing.

I'm going to clean and organize my office like I'm going to work there permanently. Right now it's just a desk with a bunch of stuff I shoved aside back in March.

We are also talking about driving to California to visit the Husband's parents. It will be a working trip. Both of us will work for the day, since we can work from anywhere. We can hang out with his parents in the evenings. 

A slightly better picture of Rufus.

We were away at the ocean over the weekend. A friend has a cottage in ocean side village and invited us along.

We've had a couple of big road trips over the past few weeks. It's had me reflecting on our social distancing strategy.

Restaurants in this county have reopened at one third capacity. Saturday evening we went out for dinner for the first time in months. The waiters wore masks. Hand offs of plates and bill were all careful.

We ate breakfast in the cottage. The rest of our meals were take out. We wore masks to pick up the food.

I'm not sure I'd call this all a great example of social distancing though. Cases and deaths are way down in Washington but the pandemic is far from over. Things may be quiet over the summer.

We've avoided the protests in Seattle. One of my employees lives in a condo above a park with many demonstrations. I'll get the news from her today.

To help with work-from-home, my employer will send me a new standing desk and an adjustable chair. The husband veto'd the desk-- too ugly.  I will get the chair.

Rufus the hummingbird has changed his patterns. I was a little worried when I didn't see him on Tuesday. Wednesday when a hummingbird tried to drink from the feeder, he popped out from somewhere and chased off the intruder. 

I think that so many flowers in bloom, he is stretched thin protecting his territory. 

We went away for the weekend to Winthrop WA, a tiny little town east of the mountains. Lots of hiking. Gorgeous views.

The hotel was properly social distanced. The restaurant and bar were closed. Food was takeout only.

At some of the stores in Winthrop, you could literally window shop. You couldn't enter the store, but the shop keeper would post their number on the door. You called the shop keeper and discussed the merchandise. They would bring things up to the window, and answer questions.

The coffee and ice cream place had way too many people not social distancing.

I saw Rufus chase away a humming bird that was sitting at our feeder. While Rufus was off on the war path, these two settled in for a sip.

I turned 50 yesterday. This husband made it a great day.

For a few weeks now, behind my back, he had been organizing friends to send me a birthday cards. The husband had been intercepting the cards at the mailbox. When I walked into the dining room yesterday morning, I saw the table covered by three dozen cards. It was wonderful to go through them all.

He made me his special Strawberry cake.

In the evening, we had a zoom call with east coast friends. We ate the cake and sent out pieces to our neighbors. We don't need that much cake in our house.

Our friends A & E came over for a piece of cake. We had a discussion about this beforehand. Our state is opening up soon. And all of us had been healthy while quarantining. So, it was OK to spend some time with A & E. We will need to watch that this doesn't become a pattern. 

Sunday night, I wanted to get drunk. So drunk that I'd have a hangover. Of course I didn't. But it was a weird craving. Part of me is rebelling against our pleasant and repetitive isolation.

Starting June, Washington state is scheduled to enter the next phase of reopening. We will still be asked to wear masks, and to distance. I'll continue to work from home. More stores will be open.

Work may send me a standing desk and chair to facilitate long term work-from-home. I talked the plans through with our local office manager. When my company opens up we will be way more conservative than the Government. My company wants us to work from home till there is a treatment or vaccine. Rather than opening the office in June I'll be able to do is to schedule a slot where I enter  the office and get my personal effects. After that, it's back to working from home.

Small update on the work situation-- work from home will be expected until there is a vaccine or treatment for Covid. That could be a year or more out.

I scheduled a Zoom lunch for my teams at work. It turned out well. People were grateful for the social time. 

The husband continues to be a bit stir crazy. Last night, the husband suggested we go out for dinner. I suggested that I could would make dinner. He replied that he didn't want to do any cleaning afterwards. I assured him that I wold do all the cleaning

He firmly responded "I need to go out."

We had ordered burgers to go from a local restaurant. We ate them in the car and then drove around a bit. Toured some of the the little developments and neighborhoods that are popping up around here.

I continue to watch Rufus the hummingbird throughout the day. My office window looks out over the backyard so it's a pleasant distraction.

It turns out Rufous hummingbirds are very territorial. Rufus regularly chases away other hummingbirds. Our neighbors also have a hummingbird feeder which is part of his territory. He zips back and forth between the different feeders, and dive bombs any other hummingbird who dares take a sip. I've now know his attack trill and quickly look up when he's on the attack.

We got out a bit over the weekend.

Saturday we handed off our tax statements to our accountant. We were all masked. In fact, our accountant made us nice Seahawks masks.

Afterwards, we stopped by a bicycle store. At the store, no one but the husband and I were wearing masks.

On the way home we drove through the Tahoma National Cemetary. Very scenic. Very solomn.

Sunday we stopped by a friend's for his birthday. We brought our own lunch. They had theirs. We stayed on opposite sides of the room, eating & catching up.

After that we stopped by Clem & Bates to pick up some stuff of mine that I stored there. Clem and Bates are using the quarantine time to clean up and purge. They reminded me about the box and so we swung by and to retrieve it. We bumped elbows to say hello.

That little orange/brown blob on the end of the dead branch-- that's Rufus.

Posting this picture, I feel like I'm photographing Big Foot. He does exist! That blur really is him! He was far away and moved too fast. You believe me, don't you?

Exempting the pandemic, all is well here in the suburbs of Seattle. The weather is pleasant today. My work schedule has a enough free time that I should be all caught up by the end of the day.

Work wise, the company says that it will be at least a month before the offices are reopened.

We have named the hummingbird Rufus in honor of his species. No creativity there. Both the husband I occasionally peak out our back windows to see if he is on his perch.

Rufus leaves his perch for most of the afternoon. When I first noticed this, I worried about him-- just a little. Did something happen to him? Will he return? How big is the territory of a Rufous Hummingbird? What is he up to? Of course he returned later in the day.

One day he will leave our backyard without the courtesy of saying goodbye. Rufous hummingbirds are known for their long migrations. Late in the summer, if all stays well with him, he will fly down to Mexico.

We have a Rufus Humming Bird in our back yard. I've been watching him from my office for a few days now.

This humming bird will sit on a dead branch in a tree at the far end of our back yard. He surveys his territory. After a few minutes of surveying, he'll zoom off. Sometimes he'll sip from the feeders on our back deck. Sometimes he'll zoom away attending to other hummingbird things.

Then, five or ten minutes later, he'll return to the branch and survey things a little more.

The new normal.

Work is planning for it to be a long time before things return to normal.

Sometime, weeks from now, we will enter phase one. In phase one, our company will largely continue to work from home. If I wanted to work-from-work, I could book a desk. The number of desks that can be booked is very restricted. The desks are well distanced from each other. After I use a desk, it will be sanitized.

My SVP predicted that we would be in phase one by the end of the year.

Home life is going well. The husband is getting stir crazy. He is going grocery shopping more often than he should. He wears a mask. We washes his hand. I hope this all goes well.

Work has started talking about reopening. Nothing specific now, it's all contingencies. In two weeks, if the convid infection rates are declining, then we will enter phase one--  we will reopen the offices, but encourage people to work from home. After a few weeks, if phase one goes well, then we will enter phase two...

I can't blame them. 

Things have been quiet here. I've got a routine and it's working for me.

6ish, I wake up. I work out or run. I meditate for a few minutes. Then I have coffee and start planning the day. What are the most important things on my plate, and what are the next steps? What meetings do I have? What prep needs to be done? What do I need to review? Who am I having 1:1's with? What should we discuss? What should I do in the few open slots that I have between meetings? What do I need to follow up on?

Workday starts between 8:30 and 9:00. The mornings will go by quickly. Lately I've been booked through lunch, so I'll grab something quickly and eat during the noon call.

Then the afternoon starts. I have fewer meetings in the afternoon, so I can usually get some other work done then, writing, paperwork, who knows.

I try to schedule 1:1's at 4pm.

At 5pm I curate. I go through all my email, my notes and my work notifications then either delete, deal with them, or book time if the item needs real work. I'll double check any future commitments and make sure I know the next steps.

Some times I'm done by 5:05. Others I'm not done till 6:00

The Husband and my brother-in-law respect my day. They can tell that I'm very engaged with my job. The husband has mentioned that he doesn't like that I am sitting at a desk all day. With the pandemic, his job is in make-work mode. He has more free time. I am a little jealous.

Really though, I am happy that I have a great paying job in the middle of a crisis.

I'm pretty drained by the end of the day. The husband and I will have dinner. Maybe watch some TV.

8ish I'll have a cocktail. I don't drink a lot, so I make a good cocktail. I take out the necessary bar equipment. Measure and mix everything. Pour in a good glass and clean up.

Lately I've been having martini's with Aviator Gin. Before that it was Manhattans with nice Canadian whisky.

Then I'll read, or maybe I'll work on a puzzle with the husband.

In bed, lights out by 9:30pm. Gotta get my sleep for the next day.

We finished a jigsaw...

Our friend is getting better. The fever has broke and he is up and around.

Our roommate, our brother-in-law, is getting bored. Today, to amuse himself, he gave himself a perm.

We are starting to play online games with our friends. We've found a few social gaming sites like UnoFreak.com. We setup Zoom or Skype on a laptop, and then play games and chat or an hour. Its fun. It helps things feel normal for an hour.

Feel normal for an hour-- I spoke too soon. An internet connected karaoke mic just showed up. Apparently, this Saturday, we are schedule to sing karaoke with friends from Boston.

My work day is very full & busy. To be honest, I feel good about that. My days are going quickly.

I like getting up in the morning, showering, shaving, putting nice clothes, making myself presentable even if its just for a day of video calls. I could do it all from bed in a t-shirt. No one would care. I want to feel a little better about myself, even if it means a little more laundry and a little more work.

Our friend has fever and is quarantining. He is well enough to take care of himself. I hope things go well.

   

The weather is lovely today. The husband and I went out for a good hike up the hill behind us. We came across a few other hikers and gave them a wide birth. 

We have a friend who has tested positive for the Coronavirus. It's early on and he is only feeling a bit under the weather.

I last saw him three and a half weeks ago when we went skiing together, so I'm hoping that's far enough back. 

In other times, this would be a lovely spring. The weather is Seattle-nice-- some sun in the morning, followed by ten minutes of rain and hail, followed by cloud. I have the windows in my office opened a crack and am enjoying a cool spring breeze.

How should one deal with speculation and conspiracies? They are popping up on my FB page and I've had a roommate wonder out loud about one. As this pandemic proceeds, there will be anger and finger pointing from many. Anything to deflect responsibility. I have such a strong urge to directly engage, but that's not helpful. It just tags me as one of 'them.' 

So, I will just mute the post, or politely listen if someone engages me directt. Then I will guide the conversation to washing hands, distancing, finding masks, and saying the serenity prayer.

Life is going on here in the suburbs of Seattle. My job is busy. At the new job, the training wheels are off. We just had a reorg, and the size of my team tripled. I am spending a lot of time getting to know the team and the new responsibilities.

The husband is stressed. He is empathic. He is someone who likes to get involved and solve problems. It's tough for him to stay at home while the problem grows.

We go out for groceries every now and then. We've tried to order online, but the wait times are so long. Four or five days out. It's just not possible for us to plan our food that far ahead.

I look at the stats for Covid several times a day. I see that the death rate in LA is climbing like crazy. Hang in there Tommy. This disease is everywhere and still growing like crazy. 

While the news is constantly on in our home, I am tuning it out. Much of America won't take proper precautions until they personally know someone critically ill with Covid. That won't happen till there are tens of thousands of deaths. By that time, it will be weeks too late to prevent anything.

The next two months of news will be bleak.

Work is proceeding well. The husband has commented that I have very full days and suggested that I book time to take afternoon walks.

The brother-in-law says he gets anxious when he listens in on my video calls. We use so many technical words. It bugs him that we speak English, but he can't understand.

While the husband is also working from home, his job is turning more and more into make-work projects.

H, the roommate in the basement, has started teach yoga online. It's fun to listen in. She really knows her stuff.

The Brother-In-Law is working six days a week making and delivering food at the retirement home. He is getting tired. Get your rest, my brother-in-law. More people are depending on you, than on anyone else in this house. 

 We are filling our spare time any way we can. Puzzles, games TV. News. Too much news.

The "Stay Home" order has caused another round of grocery shortage. Nothing major, the same outage as before-- toilet paper, paper towels. Vegies and meat are freely available.

We also could not find another desk. The husband works from the living & dining room. This sometimes causes conflicts should the husband be on a conference call and the the brother in law want to watch TV.  So, we tried to find a desk for the spare bedroom. No dice.

But, smart TVs are cheap and readily available. The brother in law bought one for his bed room. Problem solved.

Our state has gone one step farther....

Gov. Jay Inslee spoke directly to Washingtonians to announce he will sign a statewide order that requires everyone in the state to stay home. The order will last for two weeks and could be extended.

This Stay Home, Stay Healthy order is similar to orders that other governors, in places such as California and New York, issued last week.

This proclamation will:

• Require every Washingtonian to stay home unless they need to pursue an essential activity.

• Ban all gatherings for social, spiritual and recreational purposes.

• Close all businesses except essential businesses.

“The less time we spend in public, the more lives we will save,” Inslee said. 

The proclamation states it’s still safe for people to go outside as long as they remain at least six feet from each other. Grocery stores, doctor’s offices and other essential businesses will remain open. People can still participate in activities such as bike rides, gardening, and dog walking — as long as they follow social distancing rules.

I sold my motorcycle today. I feel a little bad about that. I've had the motorcycle for years.

But, I haven't rode the cycle in a couple years. It's not practical anymore. I was riding the motorcycle often when there was an HOV lane to work and when I was with my ex. He worked on weekends so I had extra alone time.

Times have changed. Now, it just sits in the garage.

The guy who bought the motorcycle was a bit drunk and didn't know how to ride. Fortunately, he brought af friend who knew motorcycles and took it for a test ride.

The guy had recently come into a lot of cash-- he was cleaning schools closed due to the coronavirus.

After the test ride, the friend gave it his blessing. They paid cash. I signed over the title and the friend rode my bike off to it's next adventure.

The humble brag... that's what I'd call my last post. I must do less of that. 

The days of sheltering in place are passing buy. We are having a few home arguments, but nothing unexpected. We've had to adjust the Wi-Fi to accommodate the extra streaming and video calls that are being made.

How first world is that-- we are in the middle of a pandemic and the top problem on my list is that the house has enough Wi-Fi to let two people talk on video, and the other two watch Netflix, each far enough away from the other that we can't hear each other in the background.

We have made lists of people we want to keep in touch with and are calling them. I like this. Usually my work life and my few free social hours narrow down the people I talk to. Shelter-in-place lets me be more intentional. I will talk to those whom life would ordinarily keep distant from me. 

How on earth did I end up in a quarantine, with a great job that lets me work remote, and roommates who are a chef and a yoga instructor?

It's a quiet day today.  I had a full day working from home, as did the husband. The brother in law is home early from work as there is less for him to do at work. He works in the kitchen at a retirement home. The residents are in lock down. Meals are being delivered to them. 

I don't talk much about our other roomy-- H. We have a mother-in-law apartment that we rent to her. She is a good room mate. She walks the dog when we are not around. She is clean. Trust worthy. A good person. She is also out of work. The studios where she worked have closed due to the Coronavirus. She is keeping busy. She and the brother-in-law love to watch horror movies together. We have told her not to worry. These are unusual times and we aren't going to kick her out because she can't pay rent.

Its a lovely say here in Seattle. A little cool for spring. That hasn't stopped the daffodils from blooming.

The brother in law reports that at his work, a resident has tested positive for Coronavirus. The whole retirement community is in lockdown.

The husband and I are good. Our big challenge will be to keep focused and not to psych ourselves out. This is not a good time for empaths or those who like to engage and solve problems.

We have ordered a couple big jigsaw puzzles.

C2 was quickly in and out of town for the weekend to visit his family. While he was here, he got notice that he too will work from home.

It's official. All schools are closed for the next six weeks. Coworkers are scrambling to figure out what to do with their kids. My coworkers are fortunate-- they can work form home. I pray for those who can't work from home and now have to figure out what to do with their children.

A acquaintance has been quarantined. She is healthy, but is a real estate agent who was exposed to someone who has tested positive for Coronavirus.

The big thing for us is to keep our cool and keep focused on our work and our day. The husband and I listen to meditations before we sleep. This husband is big hearted and empathic. This situation really bugs him.

I have been working from home for a week now. Coronavirus continues to grow around us. Social distancing is now in vogue. I went to the dentist today. Ordinarily, when signing for the bill, I would just take the pen from the receptionist and sign. Today she put the pen down, stepped back. I took the pen, signed and then used hand sanitizer. She wiped the pen with a cloth. We looked at each other and laughed. What's next? Throwing the bill from across the room? 

The numbers don't look good. As statisticians sometimes say when doing analysis... the first derivative of the growth curve does not look good. The problem is growing faster than it's being solved. 

The state has banned events of more than 250 people. Seattle schools are closed. Suburban schools are not, though there are calls for that. The grocery stores are all open. Costco was out of beans and rice. The guy there said they get a new pallet every day, but it sells out quickly. 

We have a few emergency supplies on hand. Maybe one week of food. Lots of soap and cleaning supplies. Mostly I'm presuming that the system— groceries (especially grocery delivery), internet, power, gas— will continue to work if things start to go very bad. Amazon delivery can't help but benefit from this.  

The husband and I are in a demographic that recovers from Covid-19. I'm a little worried about the brother-in-law. He works at an old-folks home. He is over 60. He smokes. I pray for him.

So, what should one do in the middle of a coronavirus crisis? Head to the mountains of course!

For some time, an old college buddy of the husband planned to be in Seattle for the week. We had previously schedule a weekend with him at a local ski hill. While, they are closing down large gatherings around Seattle. Restrictions have not yet hit the rest of the state.

The trip was lovely.

Companies that can are asking their employees to work from home till the end of the month. To the best of my knowledge, no one where I work has been hit with the virus.

and then I see this...

Covid-19 update...

At work, they have put hand sanitizer dispensers up next to the main doors. It's kind of like a cruise ship. I sanitize every time I walk in or out of our space.

I am washing my hands more often. I'll do that when I arrive at work. Wash away the commute germs. My fingers are drying out, so I've got bottle of nice lotion on my desk.

Yes. I'm still going to work. The people who have been dying have been very young, had underlying health problems or were older than 70. I don't associate with those demographics, so if I get it, the damage will be contained.

More about work. The commute is nice. The traffic is good. There are less people on the bus. The office is quiet. If it weren't for the virus, this would be pleasant.

I have several friends in the travel industry. They are having a bad time.

My husband, who visits many medical offices for work, has been asked to stay away. The offices are closed to non-essential visitors.

What's bad about Covid-19 is that it's so diffuse and unpredictable. Our mind wants us to think that pandemics play out like the zombie apocalypse. Or a biologic attack where everyone dies. The reality is that most of us will be unaffected. Some of us will have a bad flu. We may not even know that the flu was the Coronavirus. It was a bad flu year even before Covid-19. And... of course... some of us will die.

Covid-19 is hitting Seattle a big way. 6 people have died in the past 48 hours. 5 of the six were older than 70. The remaining one was 50 and with an underlying health condition.

Work has canceled nonessential travel. Lunch is no longer buffet style. We have switched to box lunch. We are encouraging people to work from home. 

The brother-in-law works at an old age home. They are in lock down there. Servers are wearing masks. 

At my new job, I learnt that engineers need Senior VP approval to work evenings and weekends. Managers must roll model good behavior to support that.

I almost cried.

It makes the days really intense. Everyone works hard. There is little gossip or goofing off. I almost feel bad interrupting someone to ask a question. I really do my homework before I do so. I have to do a lot more planning to make all that happen.

I love it.

The past few days have been packed. So many trainings, so much information. 

I like the team. I like my boss. Off to a good start.

The new job is already ramping up. I fly to San Francisco for a few days next week for introductions and training, so I've had to book travel.

The husband has a flu and has been in bed for the past two days. My housemates and I have been having discussions about flues and vaccines. One of my roommates says the only time she ever got the flu is when she had the vaccine, so she has sworn them off.

I have the opposite opinion. I am vaccinated for the flu early every year. I used to get a big flat-on-my-ass-for-days flu once a year. The vaccine has eliminated that. Right now, I am also taking Tamaflu. When the husband came down with the flu, I thought he was vaccinated. and so I immediately got a prescription. I cannot afford to get sick right now with the new job starting next week.

Turns out the husband was not vaccinated.

I'm taking the Tamaflu anyways.

The doctor and pharmacist recommended that we wear face masks around anyone sick with the flu. Of course, there is a shortage of face masks right now. With the Corona virus scare, and with a heaver than average flu season, everyone seems to be sold out of face masks. Even Amazon says delivery for face masks will take one to three weeks.

I've been caring for the husband as much as I can. No biggie though. I check that he has water to drink, and that he eats a little every now and then.

Get vaccinated. They work and they are safe.

We spent a few days in Sacramento visiting the inlaws.

What do I want to say about that? Maybe-- "Empathy is a second to second, minute by minute service that we owe to everyone" -- Simone Sinek

My mother in law and my husband have a challenging relationship. Honestly, many people probably have a challenging relationship with the mother-in-law.

Unfortunately, there is a whole lot of not-listening going on. By everyone. It's easy to listen when you like those you are talking to. Empathy is only work, only deep, when you are talking to those you don't get along with.

She let's her dogs pee and poo indoors. She says they are too old to go outside regularly. The smell is terrible. Fortunately, she keeps the spare bedroom door closed at all times, so we could get away from it.

We cleaned the house up. Walked the dogs when we could.

The next time we visit Sacramento, we will stay in a hotel.

Even though I have accepted a job offer, I continue to talk to companies and go through interviews. Until I pass the background screen, and have a badge to enter the building, I will keep a few irons in the fire. 

Seattle has had lots of rain lately. Most days it's all day. We stay inside, watch movies, do what exercise we can. 

On Saturday, during a break in the rain, Clem and I went for a hike on the mountain. It's always good to spend some time with him. 

I've verbally accepted the job from the small local company. I'm continuing to meet with other companies until I physically sign, and I start work.

The fridge...

A few months ago we bought a new fridge. A nice, stainless steel, expensive new fridge. The husband loves the fridge.

It's already acquired a few dings. The microwave, and the oven are next to the fridge, and unless you close those doors, the fridge door will bump into the other door. The husband is frustrated every time he sees a new ding. With each new ding the husband talks to the perpetrator (me, the the brother-in-law, or the roommate) on the importance of checking the microwave and oven doors before opening the fridge door.

For the past few days, the husband has been traveling for work Yesterday, I thought I'd wash the fridge with a sponge The sponge has rough plastic on one side of it.

Now the fridge is covered with light scratches. Not deep scratches. But, the stainless steel reflects unevenly. It's not perfect like it was.

The brother-in-law, the roommate and I spent much time trying to figure out how to remove the scratches, brainstorming, googling, watching YouTube videos. We've tried several different products, but no luck Our last hope is a  professional scratch removal kit that is on the way from Amazon.

Then, this afternoon, before the husband boards the jet back to Seattle, I'm going to call him up and tell him tell him the news about the fridge.

I have a good job offer from the smaller local  company. This is a huge relief. 

The job hunt is intense. I'm having two or three calls a day with various recruiters, former coworkers, screeners or hiring managers. Going forward, I will have one or two onsite interviews a week for the next few weeks.

The interview process for all these companies is very extended. Each involves multiple calls from screeners and recruiters, and then and multiple onsite interviews.

The second onsite for the smaller local company went well. I should hear about next steps from them on Monday.

The recruiter from the big social network company said they will have a decision by the 17th.

Am back in Seattle. We were on a western Caribbean cruise with old friends of the husband. It was great to spend time with them. They are nice people. 

So far so good on job hunt. I've had a series of great initial interviews/conversations with a few companies. This Friday I will have a second set of onsite interviews with the interesting smaller company. Next week I have an onsite interview with the job-search company. Soon after that I will have an onsite interview with the search company. 

What on earth is going on with the Mississippi River south of NO?

A normal river would be content to end at the sea. The Mississippi, on the other hand, endeavors to split the sea into two. 

For centuries the Mississippi has been carrying sediment along, slowly extending its banks by hundreds of miles.

The Carnival ship that was side swiped last week. 

Last day in New Orleans. We've had a great time. Lots of coordination as the family we are with brought there kids. But wonderful non the less.

@Tommy, why didn't you tell me that New Orleans was so vibrant and charming?

Job search is proceeding.

Thursday and Friday I had interviews with an interesting smaller company. I think they went well. We shall see.

I still have not heard back from the social network company

Am also arranging interviews with the search company. Those will happen sometime in January.

Friday I had a big interview with the big social network company. I think I did well. I'm not going to dwell on it. Because of the holidays, it may be weeks before they get back to me.

Our cat has passed on. He took a turn for the worse about a week ago and we were treating him. But there was no improvement so we made a hard choice. He was an old cat, who had lost a lot of his agility, so I'm relived as well as sad.

And the interview I had a few weeks ago... they said a very polite "No," because they believe I am wrong for the role. They asked me to apply for other jobs at the company.

We've had a busy couple of weeks.

The job hunt is coming along. I've applied a lot, passed a few screening calls, and now am studying to pass the main, day long interviews. The material is pretty intense. There is a lot to read and to practice.

We have also been traveling. We spent a couple of days in LA, then went for a week long cruise to Cabo, Mazatlán and Puerto Vallarta.

Did you hear about the ship that was hit by the Norovirus? That was our ship.

Onboarding was a mess. They delayed everything by hours to allow the crew to sanitize.


During the cruise, Norovirus control meant that the staff was constantly sanitizing everything (tables, chairs, elevator buttons, railings, etc) and that everything had to be served. For example, you couldn’t just get a glass of water as passengers couldn’t touch the fountain. A steward had to pour and serve it for you.



At the buffet you couldn’t get your own plates or cutlery. They had to be served. Salt, pepper, butter, jam all had to be served separately. A simple ask like “May I have some toast?” took up a lot of serving time on a ship that was already full. It was a few days for the staff to figure out how to streamline these operations. I also got the feeling that by the end of the week, the staff was tired owing to all the extra sanitization and service duties that had been foisted on them. 

But, now we are back. I'm studying for work. All I need is one job offer.

One step further on the road to U.S. citizenship-- today, I had my finger prints and photo taken. 

I think the interview went well. We shall see. I got some positive feedback. Also, the hiring manager spent two hours with me; we talked a lot about what the job is actually like.

Life goes on. The BIL will be at our place for a few more weeks. He is trying to figure out his future.

Tomorrow I have an interview with a big company. I've been prepping for it for a while. The prep work is pretty much a full time job.

The interview is six hours long. I can bring notes and reference in.

Bring it on...

We picked up the BIL as scheduled. The first day at our home he told us he wasn't ready for deep conversations. He slept a bit, watched TV, ate. We talked about his trip to France. We talked about the news.

This morning he has started to open up to the Husband. They are resetting his passwords and going over his bank statement to see where the  money went.

He is hiding things in our bedroom (underwear, latex gloves) I'm sure he thinks he is being funny. I'm not ready for this brand of humor given what he's gone through. 

The flight from Paris to Seattle has an 8 hour layover in Heathrow. The husband happens to have cousins within commuting distance of Heathrow, so they met him at the airport. They are making sure he has some food and is getting proper rest.

Early in the morning they put him back on a jet for the final leg to Seattle.

I've packed up all the alcohol in the house and am storing it at Clem and Bates. I've also put locks on a couple of rooms with valuables.

When I dropped the alcohol off at Clem's, he asked why we were doing this. The BIL is free to live as he chooses. We have no obligation to rescue him.

We do have no obligation to rescue him.

This is the second time in my life that I've tried to help someone on a death-run. I no longer see the respect in it.

Live blogging the BIL (Brother In Law)

At three in the morning we received a call from the U.S. Embassy in France. The BIL was there. They were making him a new passport. The people on the phone seemed to care. They understood that he couldn't be trusted. They said they would watch over him the best they could. They also made it clear that the BIL is free man. If he chooses to leave, then he can't be stopped.

We cashed in many air miles and got him a ticket from Paris to Seattle. I booked him an Uber. I am pleasantly happy that someone in Seattle can book an Uber for a drive in France. The Uber driver was a bit confused when I explained the situation to him, but he went along with it.

Cars are not allowed at the U.S. Embassy since the Paris bombings, so the driver had to meet the BIL at a hotel down the street. Because the BIL lost his cell phone, we had a few tense minutes after the Embassy staff let the BIL out the door, but before the Uber driver confirmed that the BIL was in the car.

For an hour, I watched the Uber app as they drove towards the airport. The BIL is now at the airport. Security knows about him, and we've arranged for Wheel Chair assistance.

The flight has an overnight layover at London-Heathrow. He arrives in Seattle on Friday.

Keeping our fingers crossed.

Loving detachment... Should we have done this? This isn't the first time that the BIL has had an alcoholic meltdown. It won't be the last. The BIL has lost job after job due to alcohol. My Husband has rescued him far too often. 

The brother in law is still drunk in France. It sounds like the he somehow got his hands on more vodka, and just kept drinking, The B&B host eventually called emergency services and had him sent to the hospital. 

On the topic of my wayward brother-in-law, Tommy writes... "Sounds like the making of a good Southern Play....... where is Tennessee Williams when u need him."

It is. Want to fly to Paris?

The weather has been unusually gorgeous for this time of the year.

C2 was in town for the weekend. He now lives and works in Denver. He visits Washington State regularly as he has family here and he owns a few properties in the area.

C2 has stuff in storage in a few places. He has boxes at his sisters, at his dad's and at our place. He's had this stuff in storage for years.

We went through some of it this weekend. Most of it's near-garbage. You know-- stuff you don't need, yet is not in poor enough condition to throw out or give away.

A vegetable peeler. Internet routers. A shoe shine kit. An old LED alarm clock. A futon that's breaking down. Boxes and boxes of stuff. I'm encouraging C2 to throw it all out. He is still very attached to it.

C2 and his sister are not talking to each other. From what C2's step-mother said, they are both pointing fingers at each other. Neither will take responsibility for rebuilding their relationship. Neither shows empathy or curiosity.

Consider... "I'm in town. Do you want to meet?" v.s. "Hey. We haven't talked in a long time. Let's meet and catch up."

Its important to each that they be unrelentingly right. Or maybe they both want to play the victim to the others lack of social grace. 

We talked about showing empathy. C2 said "I can show empathy when I need to." My thought about empathy-- unless you can show it when you don't need to, then it's not really empathy. 

Family.

My brother in law-- when he's sober, he's a wonderful loving man. Danger, danger when he's not.

The brother-in-law spent a few weeks in France. Some of it was for a work-away. Some of it was at a Buddhist retreat.

Something happened on his way back to the States. The brother-in-law lost his passport. He made his way to the U.S. embassy and managed to call the Husband. The Husband wired him money to get a new passport.

Something happened after the brother-in-law picked up the money and before he got back to the embassy. The brother in law got drunk. He wound up somewhere. Maybe a hostel. He stayed there for a day. He lost the key to that room.

Since early this morning, the hostel owners and the brother-in-law has been on the phone with the Husband. The brother-in-law is asking for something. Not sure what. Mostly the brother-in-law is crying and saying he's sorry. The Husband has suggested to the room owners that they send the brother-in-law to the hospital to sober up.

The husband has been rescuing brother-in-law for years. Seriously, for years. I remember the husband helping out the brother-in-law over fifteen years ago when the brother-in-law had another melt down over drugs and alcohol.

The Husband is torn and has been reading about loving detachment. 

So far so good on the interviews. In the next month, I have two all day interviews coming up. These are with large companies.

I had two additional tech screens with smaller companies, but have not heard back from them. I've been told this is not unusual. Weeks from now they may ask me for another round of interviews. Or, I may never hear from them again.