An aunt has entered palliative care.  While she may still have weeks to live, her family has started traveling to the Valley for what may be their last visits.

We visited her husband / my uncle today. They have had to be separated because her palliative care unit does not have accommodations for him. This is the first time they have been apart in decades. It’s frustrating for him. He doesn’t understand why. He has started exhibiting a bit of dementia so he has problems advocating for what he wants in healthy ways. Their children are talking the visitors through the situation, and how to manage his demands. 

My aunt is quiet. She mostly refuses to eat. She peacefully rests in her bed. 

In the 1950s, my family church was founded by Dutch immigrants. Today, half of the congregation are my blood relatives. The other half are family friends. The after-sermon coffee is a great way to catch up with people I’ve known my whole life.

The church doctrine is very conservative. Take 1 Timothy 2:12: "I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet." Some members take this seriously. 

I’ve had an uncle and an aunt leave our church entirely after a woman guest pastor preached there.

Don't get me started on what the Bible says about homosexuality.

Mist of congregation is welcoming. When my husband and I visit, they are warm and engaging. The conservative side pops up in the sermons. 

So when my husband and I attend, I brace myself. About a third the time the sermon will contain something that raises my eyebrows.

During today's sermon, the guest pastor went down that path. I heard my husband groan. Later, my brother said he was ready to walk out mid-sermon.

Afterward, we discussed with my father. His take? "This guy was too political. I've heard he's been asked to leave churches before."

Thank you dad! 

For the past few days we’ve been hanging out with family. Today was at an Aviation museum. 

Part of today’s excursion was to gage how much activity my father can handle. He in his 80s, slowing down and has bad knees. We want to do more things with him, but we’ve been uncertain how long he can walk.

It went well. While he did sit a few times, he largely stayed on his feet for the few hours at the museum. 

My father rarely locks the door. Also, he keeps the key in the lock so he won’t struggle to find the key should he need it. We sleep each night with the door unlocked and the key intentionally in the lock. 

This frustrates my husband. What if thieves show up? It’s a leap of faith to believe that won’t happen here. He has never lived in such a community. He is also very cautious and conservative about safety. 

I love this about our local community. It is a bit naive. It’s also they way they want to live. 

We are back in the Ottawa valley at my father’s. The heat wave has passed. There is smoke is in the air from the fires up north.

Some of my family up here is aging and in need of additional care even though they are too stubborn to admit this. My father is doing well. His hearing is on the decline, so we must ensure he is actively listening if we need him to think and participate in the conversation. 

We are working our way across Ontario visiting friends and family along the way. The heat has been oppressive so we’ve gone to museums over hiking in the outdoors

Schedule today— breakfast with a friend in Picton. Drive two hours. Lunch with cousins in Smith Falls. Drive two more hours and arrive at my father’s in time for dinner. 

We have a large amount of travel planned over the next few months. With this trip we are taking more time to have relaxed visits with friends and family where previously we needed to rush. At first I was worried that we’d get bored with the slower pace. That has not been the case. With the extra time we’ve been able to spend more time with friends. explore and discover beauty that’s always been there, but didn’t fit the schedule.

Flowerpot Island on Georgian Bay… 

We are spending the days hiking swimming and playing games. I love the smell of a fresh water lake though the pine forest. 

Bruce Peninsula National Park…

It’s gorgeous here. Went on a good hike. Had a pleasant dip in the lake. 

The old big tech company that I once worked for announced a voluntary retirement package for its most senior employees. That was followed by a round of layoffs. My social media feeds are full of former colleagues saying they’ve retired and are so grateful for their careers.

Their private emails are not so cheerful. The voluntary retirement package was not so voluntary with management vaguely hinting that some employees would be laid off if they didn’t retire.

I’m blissfully detached from this. Nor do I feel sorry for them. For decades, these people were very, very well paid. When I return to Seattle, I would like to catch up with them. I’ve known some of them as colleagues, friends and mentors since my internships in the 90s. 

Tonight’s sunset is fantastic…

Day 3 of our retirement trip

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… we are at a cottage In Tobermory on Lake Huron. We are spending the next few days here with some of my oldest friends. This is much needed downtime. 

There will be blog posts.

Tuesday we traveled up to my home town.

Wednesday we went with bunch of my local friends to Canada’s Wonderland— a big amusement park.

It was great to hang out with them. I can’t tolerate roller coasters like I used to. My husband still loves them. 

It it also our wedding anniversary. It tickles my husband a little that we celebrated our anniversary at an amusement park. 

It's been a week of smaller celebrations— Tuesday with my brother-in-law, Wednesday with Clem and Bates, Friday with my old boss, Saturday with my husband's old boss, and Sunday with our travel friends, WS & PT. 

Today, I've had my last meetings. My access to work has been revoked. My laptop is at the courier. My retirement is now in full effect. 

Eagles and crows do not get along. I have heard that eagles hunt baby crows in their nests. Once or twice a week I’ll see a group of crows mobbing an eagle.

Saturday morning while we were in the front yard, we heard a loud thump from our upper deck. We looked up and saw a mob of crows chasing an eagle. They were barely above the roof of our house and quickly flew off.

I wanted to know what caused the loud thump. Had a crow slammed into a window? Knocked over a flower pot?

When I looked on the upper deck I saw this fish. It’s about a foot long. I presume the eagle had the fish, but let it go to help it outfly the crows.

Don't tell any 20 years old that you intend to disconnect - for them it would induce death throes! Roderick

I wish it were just the 20 year olds. I know several people my age who have an unhealthy attachment with their cell phone. 

The final dates are clear. My husband retires July 3. My last day is July 6.

Both of our jobs are winding down. Soon my husband’s corporate car will be reclaimed.  I’m arranging the return of my company property. 

Many of our calls start with someone asking “Will this be the last time we talk?”

Even with my impending retirement, I must stay close to a laptop or cell phone. For decades, as part of my job, I've always been in some form of on-call. In my prior job, managers will told that overnight, their phones had to be in a charger and on their bed side table. It's a little different at the current company, but not much. 

Turning off my cell phone... disconnecting from the internet...these are things that I crave. I'm not going to do a internet-detox, but I do want disconnect from time to time. I don't want to check my cell first thing in the morning.

Yesterday evening was my retirement party. A coworker was kind enough to host. 

It went very well. Most of the attendees were from my current company. There were a few from the old. It was nice to catch up with them. 

The celebration of life was wonderful. The guests have departed. The house is one-again quiet.

My husband and his brother did a fantastic job organizing the weekend. 

They put a lot of effort into making everything run smoothly. They are both exhausted and need some well-deserved rest.

The weekend was split into two main gatherings interspersed by smaller get-togethers with different groups of friends and family. Sunday morning, was the formal celebration. This service was attended by many people, including residents from my mother-in-law's retirement community.

In the afternoon we rented boat and a smaller group of close acquaintances took her ashes out onto the lake for a final farewell. Earlier, my husband placed her ashes into a biodegradable urn. Once the boat reached the middle of the lake, he set the urn into the water. We all watched as it floated for a few minutes before sinking. The moment brought a few tears, followed by a quiet family hug as we all said our final goodbyes.

Sunday is my mother-in-law’s celebration of life. My husband and my brother-in-law are working hard on its preparations. 

The event is weighing on my husband. Between writing a eulogy and preparing his mother’s ashes— spooning off some into vials for her grandkids, I can see he feels blue. 

Family is flying in for the celebration. We are hosting a few. They are sharing old stories, chewing over past. The fights. The good times and the bad. The divorces and the relationships that lasted. 

"Remember how Grandma saw and heard apparitions and thought she was a mystic connected to the spirit realm. I was in amazed when I was a kid... Now I think it was Lewy body dementia."