I leave for Amsterdam in a couple of hours. After a week in the Netherlands, I'm off for two weeks in Zimbabwe. I get back on Feb 28th.

A bit of worrying news from Zimbabwe. Last week everyone at my brothers school was woke up at 4am and had to watch a military parade. Afterwards the solders went around and destroyed any newspapers they found. My brother is ok, and no one was hurt. He said some of the students spread rumours that two teachers sympathized with a rebel faction. When news of this got around, the establishment sent in the military to flex their muscle and to show everyone they were still in control.

On Friday, at the Cuff, I ran into Terry. He says he still has a boyfriend. I don't understand why he spends weekend nights at the Cuff.. It doesn't make a lot of sense. Maybe I'll find out someday. When I told him I was going to Amsterdam, he became kind of uncomfortable; looks like he has some feelings for me. Maybe he's single again, and he's just scoping me out to see what I do. After all, I have lied to him before.

Saturday night I went out for dinner with Bruce and F. We ate at Shilla's Asian Grill. The service very really slow and uneven. Bruce and F had almost finished there meals by the time I got mine. The food was ok.

Afterwards we went to Victors for some Coffee. They had a poetry reading. We didn't stick around to listen. Later we went to the NW Grill and Brewhouse for a beer.

I leave for Amsterdam and Zimbabwe on Sunday. So, this week I've been working like a dog to get things done. My projects at work look like they are running fine. I won't be able to check them in though. I was here till 10pm Monday and Tuesday nights. Wednesday night things were going well, so I was home by 8pm.

I still have a nagging cough, and a runny nose. I hope it doesn't turn into pneumonia. Not now.

I went out for beer with some guys for work. Later on, I went downtown, and met Bruce and F at CC's. I also ran into Lee, and a friend of his, Marty. Lee and Marty want me to be a bachelor for the Chicken Soop Brigads' Bachelor auction in April. I might do it. I'll stay in touch and see how I feel when the auction draws closer.

After CC's, F, Bruce and I went to Minni's for some food. Bruce had never been to Minni's before.

Went home, was in bed by midnight.

Friday night was a big drinking night. I think I had 7 pints total. It started at work, with 3 pints. Later I went out to the Timberline. I ran into Harry there. I hung around him all evening. He told me he takes Paxil for social anxiety. Before Paxil, Harry said he was afraid to go into public places. He just knew that every one was looking at him, and thinking "what a fucking faggot"

Later on we went to the Eagle. We ended up closing the Eagle. yuck. I drove home. Harry stayed a bit longer talked to some friends. He called me at about 2:30am, to make sure I got home alright.

Saturday I didn't do much. I hung around and cleaned up. I took a panorma picture at the Redmond Town Centre. The security guard walked up to me, and told me they don't allow photogrophy on the premisises, and asked me to refrain from doing so. I took another Panorma picture at Victors Coffee. One of the patrons in the picture noticed the camera, and has a strange look on her face.

Went to bed early, about 10pm.

Sunday Bruce, F and I snowboarded at Snoqualmi. We stuck we the Galary for most of the day, but later on we did the Triple 60. At that point F called it a day. He said he was tired. Brunce and I did the Triple 60 again, and then did the Quad. It was fun, I'm finally doing ok. I can stay on my feet most of the time.

I ran into a couple of people from work. Snowboarding is a very popular sport at work.

We left at about 4:30pm. I went home, took a nap, and then played hockey at 10:30pm. We lost, 4-2. I got one goal and one tripping penalty. Sara didn't play. She really dinged up her knee from the last game. She's supposed to have an MRI today.

I'm very stiff today. I still have a nagging cough.

Monday night I played hockey. We won 6 to 2. I got two tripping penalties. The ref was very pickey.

Wednesday night I went to Beppo's for F's birthday party. This time the lineup was much shorter. We were in within 30 minutes. I met a couple of F's ex's at the party. He meets many guys over the internet. I think he has a thing for older guys with weird looking faces. Not that Bruce has a weird face. Maybe that's why he and Bruce are still together. L wasn't there. As long as he's unemployed, he refuses to go out

I got paged for work Wednesday night, and was up till 2am. Grant Pride Co, a drill bit comapny on the east coast, hosed there system. They needed some TLC to get things working again.

Thrusday afternoon I got fingerprinted for my greencard. It's all inkless. They do it twice. The first time you put all your fingers down, and they scan them all at once. The second time, they scan each finger individually, and they computer marks the scan as pass/fail. Maybe they are comparing the second scan to the first scan to ensure that the capture is good.

I'll have to use gloves for all my criminal activities.

Thursday night I played hockey again. We won 6 to 2 again. It was a clean game; no penaties. Sara hurt her knee in a spectacular crash. I think she'll be ok.

Friday, I'm at work. I still have very much to do before I leave for Europe and Afica. It's only a week away. Yeah!

Friday night I went to C.C's, the Seawolf, R Place and then the Eagle. At the Seawolf, I ran into Russ and his new boyfriend. Russ used to be Harry's roommate, but then he fell in love and quickly moved out. One night, before Russ moved out, Rus and his new boyfiend were sleeping at Harry's. Harry said that early in the morning, he woke up and someone was rubbing his stomache. He looked over and the new boyfriend was kneeling beside the bed. Harry just laid still, and acted like he was sleeping. After a few minutes, Harry's alarm clock went off. The boyfriend hit the floor, and rolled under the bed. Harry stumbled out of bed, and headed for the washroom. When he got out of the washroom, the boyfriend had left.

So, when I ran into Russ, and his boyfriend, I really wanted to say "So your the guy who was feeling Harry up." But I didn't.

Saturday, I bought snowboarding cloths at G I Joe's in Issiquah. At 5pm I went to Beppo's for a birthday party of some guy I don't really know. He's a friend of Ryan and Jen's. It tooks us two hours to get seated! That's one thing I hate about Beppo's, the long waits. The food isn't that great either. The desserts are good, but that's not enough.

Jason is threatoning to mail me a bottle of his urine. He's looked my address up.

After that birthday part, I went to Suzanne and Paul's. Paul just made Captin (He's a pilot) so Suzanne threw him a party. Many of the old Toronto people where there. The change in conversation was jarring. At Beppo's we drank beer, and talked about sex, dildo's and other rude topics. At Suzanne's and Pauls we drank wine and scotch, and talked about work, the protestant reformation, and having children. Both parties were fun. Just different.

I'm kind of fascinated by the whole "freedom of speach" thing that many americans woriship. Take Bonsai Kitten for example. This site, it's a satire (I guess), about how to grown asthetically pleasing kittens using Bonsai techniques. The site has come under attack (By the humane society among others) for it's cruelty to animals. As a result, Bonsai kitten has been kicked off of two hosts. This is where the Protect-freedom-of-speach crowd comes in. They scream bloody murder in the name of free speach. Both sides act like the fate of western civilization is at stacke. Or maybe, it's just a bunch of nerds who have too much time on their hands, and fighting for their beliefs gives them something to do.

What's the point of satire, or spoof when your target isn't full of vice and folly? I did laugh at Bonsai Kitten.

Zimbabwe is geting closer. Only two and a half weeks away. I've got a lot of work to do between now and then.

When I get back, I'm going to bite the bullet, and take out a personal ad. I'm going to take some time to write it. It'll be hard. How do I scare off the guys I'm not attracted too?

So, what do I want?... "You should be masculine and straight acting. Deep voice and facial hair are a plus. I'm not looking for a sensative gentle man." What else do I tack on?

Last night, I went snow boarding for real! Not down just the bunny hill-- down the big slope. I even had a run wen I didn't faill!. Bruce, F and I went to Snoqualmie. It was fun.

Other than that, Still working a lot. My project is in buddy test, but it's not going well. Not quiet over my cold yet. Almost.

Wednesday morning, I got my vacines for my trip to Zimbabwe. I neede Polio and Typhoid.

Haven't talked to Andy lately. He just got back from a weekend in Las Vegas.

Not much has happened. I've been working at. I worked all day sunday, and long hours Monday. I completed my features, but they aren't working that well right now.

The Bistro Lautrec is closed! The food was so good there, and the chef was hot. The good news is that Lautrec guys have opened a new restaurant called 'ing'. It's just around the corner from the Lautrec. Bruce and I ate there instead.

The crowd is much more gay than the the Lautrec. Maybe once word get's around, a wider variety of people will show up.

Bruce was fairly wired. He bruised his ribs snow boarding. So he's on vicadent. We shot the breeze, drank a bottle of wine, plus some coctails. Afterwards we went to the Cuff. The cover charge is now $3.00. I going to stop going to the Cuff for a while. Yeah, it's probably Seattle's best bar, but that's not saying a lot. I'll get buy by touring the smaller bars.

We met a couple of cute guys. Bruce is very outgoing, especially after consuming vicadent and alcohol. He wanted to fix me up more than anything. I'm still under the weather with a cold, and didn't feel like meeting anyone. I ran into Tony who has invited us to a Super Bowl party next weekend. It will be a mixed crowed.

Bruce and I went for an early drink tonight, to the 8th Street bar. It was a bit of a work event. Bruce went with his team from work. Bruce and I started talking about boyfriends and what we want. We started calling the two Chris’s, L and F to distinguish them. F is Bruce's boyfriend.

Something weird happened between F and Bruce. I think F was supposed to show up to join us for drinks, but Bruce didn’t really want him to. F can’t act straight. He’s been out of the closet since he was a teenager. Bruce and I, on the other hand, always act straight; to the point where, sometimes, if we go into a gay bar, the doorman will say “You do know that this is a gay bar?”

Bruce said that he would be kind of embarrassed if F showed up. I guess those two are having problems.

Bruce is a bit of a size queen. He said that everyone he dates has to have a certain minimum length. I told him that one of my problems with Harry was that he is so small. Thats not the only problem, but it was another thing that kept me from saying, “all else being equal…”. I told Bruce that I was still chasing Terry. Even though Terry didn’t have the world’s largest dick, he made up for it in other areas. I'm kind of jealous of Terry's boyfriend.

We also talked about L, and guys in the military. We noticed that guys from the military often have rape fantasizes. They want to be tied up, trash talked, and fucked real hard. Last summer, I dated a guy from the air force who was exactly like that. L is the same way. For me, it’s kind of a turn off. When I’m in bed with a guy, I don’t want him to just lie there, bound. I want someone to make love to me too. Sex doesn’t have that power component for me. Maybe it’s because I’m a bottom too.

F is going to Vancouver Saturday evening, so Bruce and I are having dinner together Saturday night—at the Bistro Lautrec.

Oh yeah, another thing I forget to record.

Played hockey Monday night, and we won, 6-3. Even better, the team we won against had a couple of guys who dropped off of our team.

It was a pretty tense game. We were ahead 3-1 at the end of the 1st, but they caught up, 3-3 at the end of the second. We pulled ahead in the third. Curt even got a goal. He said it was his career first.

I'm a looser. Not in the spiritual/social sense, but in the physical sense. I'm constantly loosing little things. notepads, wallets, cutlery, tools. Two days ago, I was using a can-opener to open up two cans of tomato sauce. I opened up the first car and poured it into the pot. Then I turned to open up the second can, but the can-opener was gone. I hunted for 5 minutes for it. It had slipped underneath some grocery bags at the back of the counter.

Today I lost my hundredth notepad. Somewhere, all my collected business knowledge is sitting around unused by the masses (or even me). Maybe it's in a garbage can. Maybe it's on a shelf.

I haven't permanently lost my wallet in a long time. I almost lost it Tuesday night. I couldn't find it the next morning, and it wasn't at work. It ended up being in my dirty laundry pile.

Can you tell I don't want to work?

I'm off sick today. My cold won't go away. I might go in for the afternoon.

Ryan and I reviewed another Restaurant

My project at work is still going slowly.

I'll just take it easy the next few days.

Still working a lot. It's not gong well.

My green card is progressing. I'm being finger printed at the end of January.

Tuesday night, I went with Bruce, and the other Chris to a career fair. Chris doesn't have a job. He's knowlegeable enough, but he doesn't come accross as ultra bright. That's slowing him down.

Bruce said that this year, the fair was 20% smaller than last year. Maybe a recession is on the horizon. The most popular booth was Microsoft. There was only one real E-commerce company. Some gardening company from Mt. Vernon. Amazon wasn't there.

I didn't see anything interesting.

Bad Weekend. I worked a lot. I ate I drank. I had stress dreams.

Went out Friday night. Ran into Terry. Had a few drinks with him. I finally gave him the pictures that we took at his party last August.

I also met a guy, Mark, from Bremerton. He was kind of cute. He gave me his number, and told me he was staying in Seattle for the weekend. We decided to get together Saturday evening.

I worked all Day Saturday, then met up with Mark in the evening. We had sex right off. Then we went out for dinner at the Cadilac. It was weird. Friday night he was dressed normal. Saturday night he was dressed as a leather man. He's in an open relationship, but is looking for a 'boy' on the side. Not really my thing. Mark said he owns a bar in Bremerton. He's in the process of selling it. He and his lover want to live 6 months of the year in Seattle, and 6 months in Palm Springs.

I ran into Terry Saturday night. We flirted and talked a bit. It guess he's still dating that guy. I don't understand why he goes out by himself every Saturday. It's not conducive to a good relationship. In his favor, he just plays pool and then leaves. Against-- there are better places to play pool than the Cuff on a Saturday evening.

I'd still date him.

I worked on Sunday. From 11:00am to 10:00pm in the evening.

Mishelle gave birth on Sunday. I got this from Sean...

Howdy Folks,

Just a brief announcement that Sean and Mishelle are pleased to introduce Olivia Simone who came into this world at 5:47 PM, Sunday, January 7, 2001. Olivia weighs 8 lbs, 2 ozs and is a healthy, happy girl.

Mishelle is extremely tired. She first noticed a contraction between 5 and 6 am Saturday morning and hasn't had much opportunity for sleep since. But she eventually got through everything perfectly and so did Olivia.

I am also tired (thanks for asking) but not getting nearly as much sympathy as Mishelle or as much attention as Olivia.

We will be in the hospital likely until Monday evening, possibly Tuesday morning and then we'll be coming home.

Sean

I'm kind of obsessing over Sean. Two or three times a day I call home to check for messages. Every time I actually get a message, my heart jumps. Of course, Sean hasn't actually called yet-- so then I feel disapointed to hear a message from a friend, or a tele-marketer.

I have this pattern with new guys. I get all excited when I first meet them, but then after one or two dates reality sets in, and I fall out of lust. That sounds more like a general problem and not just something specific to me.

No call from Sean yet. Oh well.

Working a lot. Taking many pictures too. I've been taking panorama photos with my new camera, and printing them out. It's amazing how much better a photo can look when it's bigger.

Had beer last night at Damons with some guys from work. Had lunch today a Thai Chef with my new team.

I skipped my Thursday morning work out, but I did work out Friday morning. Wednesday night, in the middle of the night, I woke up from a stress dream. It took me another hour to get back to sleep. So, I decided to sleep in Thursday morning, rather than feel crappy all day.

This just in. I finally heard back from my DSL provider. I can't get DSL. It only took them 4 months to tell me.

Back to work.

I spent new years eve at Ryan and Jen's. We watched part of an Iron Chef marathon. During the Carp battle, the chefs were scaling the fishes alive. If the fish thrashed around too much, the chef would gently conk the fish on it's head with the back of a cleaver (Bad Fish! Stop Wiggling.). Then they gutted the fish. It was hilarious. It was horrible.

I crashed at Ryan and Jen's that night. So did Jason. We got up at about 11:00am, drank some mocha's and watched some more Iron Chef. I didn't get home until about 3:00pm

I did a work-out on Monday. I also worked out this morning. Woo hoo! Two days into the new year, and I still haven't broke my new hears resolution.

The World is Small.

Friday night I went to the Cuff, and nothing much happened. I ran into Scott, who gave me an invitation to a holiday party that he and Randy were throwing on Saturday. I was in bed by 2:00am

Saturday, Mom called me at 8:00am. I was still fast a sleep. She wanted to talk about our trip to Zimbabwe in February. I mumbled to here for a while, and then she figured out that I wasn't fully awake. After we hung up, I got up, ran some errands and worked a bit (I am so far behind on the replication control conversion). In the evening, I ate at the Bento Box, and then went Randy and Scott’s. This is where things become interesting.

Scott and Randy live in a nice house on Beacon Hill. Randy’s parents own the house. Randy, Scott and two other guys are living in, and remodling the house. They are doing a great job. There are building water fountains and little gardens all over the place.

The political structure of the household is kind of weird. One of the two other roommates is Randy’s ex, Michael. Mike actually lives in an Airstream Bambi Trailer next to the house. Randy said Mike does it because he wants a cat, and Randy is allergic to cats. Oddly enough there was a cat in the main house. Mike also lives in the trailer because he likes the privacy.

Most of the guys at the party were the regular mature-gay house party set. Mark “Mom” Findly, the drag queen was there. She loved me, because I made her (him?) look small.

Later on in the evening, this guy, Sean showed up. Sean is an attractive beefcake kind of guy. I found it hard to read him. At first, he didn’t really pay attention to me. But, when I started talking to him, he was more than friendly. While Sean and I were talking, all of a sudden Sean shouted “Your Barry!” It turns out that Sean was the friend that Cort was supposed to sleep over at on Christmas Eve. I said that Cort slept in my spare bedroom, and Sean replied that he knew. We had an interesting conversation about Cort. It turns out that Cort, Sean and Sean’s ex were trying to be friends. I think that Sean did have a bit of a crush on Cort, but things were getting awkward. First off Cort lives in Portland. Second, Sean caught Cort and Sean’s ex messing around behind Sean’s back.

So, Sean, a friend of Sean and I, talked and drank the night away. Sean’s friend was a good, interesting man. He was in his late 40’s. He built expensive Christmas displays for a living.

I found it hard to read Sean. He didn’t really touch me, but he was more than happy for me to touch him. It wasn’t until I was about to leave, that he grabbed me and said, “You’re not going to leave already are you?”

At the end of the evening, Sean and I necked a bit, and then we each went to our own homes. Sean has my number. I hope he’ll call.

It’s Sunday morning now. I just got off the phone with Gord and Jen. Their baby Jacob is doing ok. It was Jacob’s first Christmas, so now they have dozens of little toys. Jacob’s favourite toy was a compost pail that Gord’s mom got for Christmas.

I'm at work right now. I'm on vacation, and I'm at work. It says a lot about my life doesn't it. If I take the time off, then I'll probably get into trouble. I'll cruise around for sex. I'm board by that, and want something better.

I've worked out every morning this week, and I'm going to keep on doing it. My new years resolution it to start each morning off by working out for an hour. How long do you think this one will last? I've got a small gym in my garage, so it's easy for me to do. If I can force my self to get up by 8:00am, then I can still make it to work for 9:30am.

The big problem is waking up at 8:00am. I love sleep. I feel crappy if I don't get my 8.5 hours. Plus, the mornings in Seattle are very dark; it's easy to roll over and sleep a bit more.I'll have to start going to bed at 11:00pm. That's harder than it sounds. Last night I went to bed at 11:30, but ever few minutes, I would think of a new trick I wanted to try with my digital camera, then I'd get up and try it out. I've figured out how to take fairly good flashless pictures in ordinary light. The secret is to underexpose the picture, this increases the shutter speed, so that the picture is less blurry. Then, when I download the picture to my computer, I use Adobe to brighten it up. It's not too bad, although the pictures can look a bit grainy.

Back to my workout. I'll have to go to bed at 11:00pm, and not stay up late, playing around.

I have to work hockey into the schedule as well. I play hockey once a week at 9:30pm. So, by the time the game is over, and I'm home, it's easily midnight. I think I can skip the work out the next morning, but, I should make it up on the weekend.

If you are reading this, and you have suggestions on how to stick with a work-out schedule, please email me. redrook@yahoo.com