C2 and I caught up. He knew Andy as well. We shared our commiserations over friends who have passed on. This is happening more as the years go by.

C2 expressed embarrassment about the state of his kitchen when I last dropped by. He is also maneuvering a little to keep me away from his house-- we met at a restaurant instead of his place.  I'm pushing him to have deeper conversations on this. Slowly.

After that it was a social weekend. We have friends within mutual walking distance of good coffee shops. Saturday and Sunday we had an early coffee with them.

Saturday evening we had dinner and games with a group of Friends. Sunday we had dinner with a coworker of my husband.

My husband and I have much travel over the next couple of months. It took us a couple of hours on Sunday to line up our schedules to arrange dog care and so we ciould spend some time with each other. First world problems.

My friend Andy has passed away. COVID hit him hard early in the pandemic and he never fully recovered. The official cause of death was pulmonary fibrosis.

I am heartbroken. 

Andy and I met each other 25 years ago. Rereading my old posts of him is embarrassing. We drank too much. We hooked up too much. We were a mess. Fun times, but I will never do that again. 

Andy was up for the weekend. I haven’t seen him since the month before Covid.  Covid was hard on Andy.  He got it early on. He had long Covid. It dragged his energy down so he retired early. In the past six months he has had heart and lung issues and has been in and out of the hospital. 

Mentally and emotionally, he is all there. He is more focused and curious than I’ve seen in years. I wish him well. 

Saturday we had dinner with our AA friends who live west of the sound. 

Sunday, the weather was wonderful. Windy but warm, with a beautiful sunset. 

I've been going through the photos from Palm Springs. As much as I loved the sun and the partying, the photos remind me how much those vise's can age you. The locals all have bags under their eyes and deeply wrinkled skin.

RO and I took a photo of Andy and touched it up in photo shop-- made Andy look ten years younger. We printed the picture as a post card and mailed it off to Andy as a thank you note.

lol, RO and I were actually good in Palm Springs. We talked about playing around, but never followed through with it. We saw the petty jealousies start so we didn't follow through.

Now the rest of the sights and sounds... Palm Springs has a great factory outlet mall-- the kind that has Gucci and Dolce & Gabbana factory outlet stores. We bought a lot of clothing there.

We also spent a lot of time at the art galleries.

We spent a day at Joshua Tree Park. The landscape is beautiful and otherwordly. Andy called it "Seussian"

We ate at many great restaurants. I was a little dissapointed though. Great food and service costs about double what it costs here in Seattle. Thankfully the rest of the vacation was not as expensive.

And we drank. Palm Springs is a drinking town. People go there to party and drink. Cocktail parities happy every day. The bars are hopping every night.

RO and I have stopped drinking for a while. We want to let our livers rest for a few days.

Finally, we spent much time laying in the sun by the pool, listening to music or playing with Andy's dogs.

RO and I are back from Palm Springs. It was wonderful. Sunny and 80's every day. Andy was a great host.

We ate wonderfully, drank heavily, and saw the sights and sounds.

C2 was over last night. He spend the day looking for property on the Hood Canal. He has a lot of money saved up from three years of working in Iraq and he wants to invest it in real estate.

Tomorrow RO and I are heading to Palm Springs for a week of vacation. We are spending it at Andy's. I am very much looking forward to it.

Went down to SF for the weekend. I spent it with Andy. We had fun. I had a whirl wind romance. Easy come. Easy go.

Both Andy and I arrived on Friday evening. We had dinner together and he bitched about his BF. His BF is a recovering drug addict and is very hight maintenance.

After dinner, I went to the Lone Star Saloon and met SFB. He's a really nice guy. We ended up talking and kissing till 3am. We exchanged numbers and agreed to get together again on Sunday.

Saturday, Andy and I toured the Fisherman's Warf. Andy bought some expensive art. A limited edition Dr. Seuss print, and a beautiful painting of the a window with view of a meadow. The window/medow painting had a neat illusion. As you dimmed the lights, it would look 3-D, like the sun setting. The window frame was very dark and in a flat paint. The meadow was very light and in a glossy paint. As you dimmed the lights, the window would stay the same darkness, but the meadow would get darker, creating the illusion that you were looking out a real window.

Saturday night Andy wanted to go to my bars. He's interested in hairless twinks, so leather and bear bars are foreign to him. I brought him to the Lone Star. He was amazed how many fat and ugly guys there were. I had to agree with him. I also brought him to the Power House. That's a better place-- healthy looking clientel.

Sunday, Andy and I shopped a bit. Then we went to the SF Museum of Modern Art. Some good Art. A lot of bad art. The museum continued the museum tradition of talking about their artists without saying anything important.

For example, they had an exhibit of Diane Arbus photos. The chronical of her last year went..
1971...
Took such and such a photo in April.
Applied for a grant.
Took this photo next.
Commited Suicide.

Other than "Commited Suicide" they said nothing of her personal life. That bugs me.

Sunday evening I got back together with SFB. We started having fun. Then we talked about what would happen after I left. He told me he had no interest in having a long distance relationship. So, that ended that.

I went back to the hotel. Had some drinks with Andy and called it a night.

Last night my house had no power. We switched Surivor Potluck to Matt and Sandy's. I ended up spending the night their.

I'm heading down to San Francisco to spend the weekend with Andy. I'm looking forward to it. The weather here is crap.

Dan Savages's is up to it again. He's taken Senator Santorum's last name and is making it a dirty word... Santorum

I'm back.

Vegas was a mediocre vacation. I got a 24 hour flu on Saturday. C2 got big blisters on his feet and had pain walking. Andy was still recovering from the shingles and slept most of the time. So, we were big party poopers.

Sunday night we saw Mystere a great show/circus act.

Vic and Steven had a lot of fun. They saw Ciline Dion on Saturday night and really loved the performance.

We (me and some people I work with) saw The Matrix Reloaded today. It's a good movie. The special effects are perfect. In a way, that takes away from the movie. When you expect anything to happen, you can't be suprized.

C2 just got this from Bruce...

>Hey C2
>I'll be leaving Seattle on Friday for good. Eventually, you can try to reach
>me in Vancouver. I don't think I'll be reachable at the start. Don't bother
>calling me at my US phone numbers or coming by my ex-residence.
>
>As for all of my possessions down here, I am basically moving some clothes
>and a few books. Everything else I will be carting to Goodwill or some other
>NPO for a tax receipt. It's just easy this way. No hassle with Canadian
>taxation doing an itemized list, etc.
>
>Take care of yourself.
>Bruce

I wonder if we'll ever hear from Bruce again.

Steven, Vic, C2, Andy and I are heading down to Las Vegas for the weekend. So, next post will be Monday.

So dinner with Harry went well. I'm not sure what else to say. The important part isn't that we had dinner. The important part is yet to come-- will he stay in touch.

I also promised Tommyboy that I'd visit him in LA. Tommyboy kind of excites me. I don't know why I had dinner with Harry. Curiosity mostly.

After dinner I drove over to C2's for chat and snacks. I dropped off his refrigerator and bitched about it stinking up my truck. Last week he needed to move a small frige from work to home. His car was too small so we put it in my truck. I left the frige in the truck over night. The freezer water melted. For the past week my truck has smelt of freezer burn.

I also talked on the phone with Andy. I haven't talked with Andy for months. Things are going well with him. He's dumped his crystal-addict boy friend, but still lets him live with him. Their relationship has flip flopped. Before they were going steady, they would sleep together but not have sex. Now that they've split up, they have sex but don't sleep together.

Last night was B's birthday. B is a straight friend I know through hockey. His girlfriend threw him a party. We had dinner at Typhoon and then went to "Theater Sports" -- improv comedy. It was very good, very funny. I'm going to go again.

Every now and then I'll mention that i have a list of five men that I'd marry in a heart beat. Four of the five are unavailable. One of the five, Brent, became single last August. I've had Brent's email address for a while. He didn't give it to me... a mutual friend once emailed both of us. I didn't really wanted to email him, in case I made me look like a stalker. I talked to Andy about it. He said one email isn't stalking and if I really was interested in him, then I should write.

On Saturday I decided to email Brent. Well, he responded back! He told me how things were going with him and asked me a few questions about my life. This is good. We'll see where it leads.

I hope this isn't another one of those "Barry is all hot to trot for a man at the very beginning, but it doesn't work out" stories.

I spent the weekend at Andy's place in WeHo. Andy's new boyfriend has moved in with him. I have reservations about the new BF. He's a recovering drug addict. He lies (Andy knows it) He's manipulative (Andy knows that too) Andy is just soo in love with the BF that he doesn't care. I hope Andy doesn't get hurt.

I'm still in Anaheim. Things are going good-- work in the day, party at night. I'm spending the weekend at Andy's, then I head back to Seattle on Sunday.

There are a good number of cute guys at the conference. It's weird, for the first time in a long time I'm lusting after men.

So Cor did spend the weekend with Bill, the nice guy for Portland.

For my vacation I drove down the coast to L.A. to visit my friend Andy. I relaxed, partied a lot and tramped around a bit. Just to get it out of my system.

I started driving Tuesday afternoon-- June 18th. I made it to Portland by Tuesday evening. I met a nice guy there-- Tom. Tom is a Traffic Cop.

Wednesday I drove from Portland to the Pacific coast and started down Hwy 101. It is a beautiful drive. I stopped at a few beaches and walked along the ocean. I spent Wednesday night at a little motel by the ocean. I don't remember where. It was about 10:30pm. I saw a vacancy sign. So, I stopped and got a room.

Thursday I continued driving down the coast. There are very few radio stations along the southern Oregon coast so I set my radio to 'scan' For a long time received nothing. Then over the radio I heard "The brilliance of the sun delights and blesses us all." Then the radio station cut out. It was a weird surreal moment.

By Thursday evening I made it to San Francisco. I had a beer at the Lone Star Saloon. A very effeminate bear chatted me up. He bragged to me that he was on the cover of "American Bear" magazine. I guess he thought that made him very desirable. As if to emphasize that point, he told me a story of a guy who, a few months ago, didn't want to have sex with him because he was HIV+. But, since he appeared on the American Bear cover, the guy emailed him a few times, wanting to get together.

I left the Lone Star and went to the Eagle. A couple of Ok bands were on stage. I listened to them for a couple of hours and then went back to the hotel.

Friday morning I was tired of driving a long the coast. I went inland and took the I-5 down to L.A. I finally got to my friend Andy's place at around 6pm.

After Andy and I had dinner, he sent me off to the Faultine. Andy likes hairless twinks. I prefer regular men. So, we never agree on what clubs or bars to go to.

Andy lives a very different life than I do. He has no qualms about going to orgies, having open relationships, or just sleeping around. I met Andy about five years ago when he lived in Seattle. He didn't like Seattle because there wasn't enough sun and men. Now that he's in L.A. he's definitely taking advantage of both.

Some things concern me about Andy. He is chasing a 25yo guy named Rob. Rob is with another man. Rob would like to leave the other man for Andy, but Andy won't let Rob take drugs-- Rob's current partner lets Rob have all the drugs he wants.

Drugs seam to be very popular in L.A. Especially in West Hollywood. Sunday was L.A. pride and Andy's friend Frank threw a Pride party. One of the guests had a drug overdose (Probably GHB and Alcohol) I was no more than ten feet from the collapse and saw the whole thing. The guy fell and hit his head on the way down. Then for the next few minutes he went into seizures. He bit his tounge and some blood came out of his mouth. They managed to get a wooden spoon into his mouth so he could chomp down on that.

Someone called 911.

Next, the guy went rigid. Every muscle in his body pulled tight. After a minute of that, he started to relax. He was breathing very deeply and regularly, but he was still very out of it.

Finally the paramedics arrived. The guy started to come out of his stupor. He crossed his legs his legs like he was trying to act casual and normal. He still wasn't answer the paramedics questions like "What's your name?"

After a few more moments he started to talk and sit up. The paramedics wanted to carry him out, but the guy wanted to walk. When the paramedics tried to hold him and support him, the guy panicked and tried to flee. He started screaming at the top of his lungs "Ahhhh! You can't take me away! Ahhh! You can't arrest me!" This went on for a long time. It took 10 paramedics and fire fighters to hold the guy down and tie him to a stretcher. They couldn't sedate him because they didn't know what he was on.

I don't know how long it was before they finally took him away. Andy and I have never done drugs (Except Pot) We both agreed there was no reason to start.

A few days later Andy, Frank and I had dinner together. Frank told us the rest of the story. The guy had just become a Dean of a College in Alabama. He had a boyfriend who didn’t condone his drug use, but let the guy travel around to party and get it out of his system. The guy didn’t remember anything that happened that day. The police weren’t going to charge the guy. He should be very grateful for that. His career would be over.

I just re-read the above story. Everything I write after this seems insignificant.

Monday night Andy and I saw The Importance of Being Earnest. A good movie, especially if you like Oscar Wilde. Afterwards Andy and I skinny dipped in Andy's pool. We moved to the hottub and started drinking gin and tonics. We started talking and bull shitting and gossiping and teasing. That's the thing I miss most about Andy-- the conversation. Eventaully, Andy brought me another drink and asked "What time do you think it is?" I thought it was about 12:30am, but said 1:00am. Andy smiled and told me to look at a clock. I got out of a hot tub and looked at the kitchen clock. It was 3:30am. I didn't believe that clock so I went to my bedroom. It also said 3:30am. I wented back to the hot tub. The two of us laughed about the time.

We went to bed by 4:00am. We both wolk up hung over. For a few days afterwards when ever we went anywhere, one of us would quip "Wouldn't gin and tonic be good right now?" and the other would mock vomit.

During the Day I hung around Andy's pool, swam, read and relaxed. We took day trips to a few places. We saw an Andy Warhol exhibit. I learnt that I don't like Andy Warhol.

Wednesday night, Frank, Andy and I had dinner together. Afterwards Frank took me on a tour of the bear bars of L.A. And, after that, he brought me to a Sex Club. It was ok. It smelt bad. I did get laid.

I left L.A. Friday morning. Originally I was going to spend Friday evening in San Francisco. But, I didn't. I had enough of the fast, cruisy life. I drove on to Lake Shasta and spent the night there.

I made it to Portland by late afternoon on Saturday. I called Tom up and we had dinner. He's a good man, but it's going to be hard to spend time with him. He's on a retrograde schedule, so his free time doesn't always line up with the weekends. Also, Portland is three hours away from Seattle.

I had beer at the Cuff tonight. I had a weird conversation with C6. About a year ago, C6 got out of a five year relationship. It was a bad breakup involving restraing orders, recriminiations and gossip. Over the past few months, C6 has been flirting with me-- hinting that he'd like to go out sometime, but never following through with it. I haven't put to much effort into it because he is still on the rebound.

Tonight C6 told me that every time he sees me, he thinks I'm really woofy. He wants to go out sometime, but he's afraid he's not ready for it. That's kind of hard for me to digest.

When I left, C6 said "Call me!" I said, "No, you call me." He nodded his head. I think he understood what I ment. Chasing a guy who isn't ready to date you is like banging your head against the wall. It only feels good when you stop.

We'll See. I'm on vacation for two weeks starting Tueday. I'm driving down the coast to L.A., and meeting my friend Andy there.

John, don't you live in L.A.? Maybe we should have coffee? I'm not sure about that. In some ways, I think that John (And Tommy and Snub) propably know more about me than my best friends do. In other ways, they don't know the conversational, real me. I much more level headed and conservative in real life. Plus, I won't want to talk about me. That's kind of dull.

I had breakfast with Bruce and C3 at Andy's Dinner.

I spent Saturday after noon at a hockey clinic. It was ok, I picked up a new trick or two. However, the thrust of the clinic was team strategy. Most of our team wasn't there, so it will be hard to bring what I learnt to the team.

Saturday Evening...

Blogspot Links seam to be acting up. Tommy's web site is at http://tommy71301.diaryland.com/

Tommy says: hey......how is your Sunday
Barry says: Just woke up!
Barry says: Yours?
Tommy says: ok.....just about to write about the date last nite in the diary
Barry says: I'm looking forward to that
Tommy says: yep....well....read about it in an hour or so.
Barry says: My Saturday was kind of weird. C3 and his room mate invited me to an "art" party.
Tommy says: hmmmm..... ur art or theirs
Barry says: There is a warehouse in Seattle that has been taken over by 30 artists. As a fundraiser they held a large party at the wearhouse.
Tommy says: ah...what kind of art
Barry says: That was it. The art was really lame. Probably the best was a guy who made candle sticks and such, out of metal, that looked like human bones.
Tommy says: hmmm..... any glass making.
Tommy says: or stain glass works
Barry says: I saw a glass furnice, but I didn't see any glass work. Maybe they removed it. Too breakable for a large party.
Barry says: There where hundreds of people there.
Tommy says: and did u meet any nice men there
Barry says: No. I don't really like Seattle artists. They dress kind of dirty.
Barry says: I'm more of a jeans an T-Shirt guy.
Barry says: Plus I'm not into dying my hair, or piercings.
Tommy says: ah.........kind of grungy...the artist that is
Barry says: Yes, very grungy. It was weird. I looked like the establishment because I was wearing new name brand jeans.
Tommy says: we wore jeans last nite to this cafe...lots of suits...a few tuxes...but hey its louisiana..and we were country boys.....
Tommy says: so we felt comfortable...and Billy is kind of petite`...he looks the part of a gay man......it was an interesting time....but the meal and the company was good
Barry says: That's cool. I'm looking forward to reading all about it.
Tommy says: ok...be good....have a great Sunday....hugs...bye
Barry says: You too.. Hey, do you mind if I post this conversation as my entry? After all, it really sums up my Saturday.
Tommy says: nope....go ahead
Barry says: Thanks. Have a great day! bye
Tommy says: oh.....bye Buddy

So, that's how I spent my Saturday evening. The cover was $10.00. Bruce arrived seperatly, but when he found the cover was $10.00 he left. C3 and I should have done the same.

C3 and I left at about midnight. We got a pizza and met up with Bruce. We ate pizza and watched "Sex in the City" for a few hours.

So, Tommy had a date last night. I'm wondering how it went and how I feel about it. I hope it went well. On the flip side, Tommy is my first internet crush, so I won't feel too bad if things didn't work out.

Man-o-man am I self centered.

Saturday morning I got a call from C2. He blew a tire out on his car, didn't have a working spare, so he needed some help getting the car to the garage. His existing tires were very very old. The tire that blew out had warn through not one, but two of the belts. None of the tires had tread.

So we had breakfast while his tires were replaced, balanaced and aligned.

I called Cor and told him I wasn't falling in love with him. He said he understoon.

I spent the afternoon with Bruce and C3. We hiked around Alki Beach.

Later, we had dinner at Andy's dinner. Bruce and C3 were talking about some of their file work. When a actress/waitress heard this, she started chatting us up, trying to get a gig.

I went to the Cuff in the evening. The usual crowd was there. Master Mark was there. We talked a while. He apologized for the last relationship and asked me if I wanted to try again with something more normal. So, this afternoon we're getting together for a movie. He's still acting like a Master though. When we talked on the phone this morning, he told me to show up wearing tight jeans and a jock strap.

I'm very ambivalent about this. But hey, I've got nothing else better to do this afternoon.

Chris3 and I went snowboarding today. Bruce couldn't make it. We had a great time.

At home tonight, I heard from Andy. Andy is a great friend. He used to be my best friend except he decided that he couldn't stand the Seattle rain, so he moved to Los Angeles. He was taungting me about how it was 80F and sunny in L.A. about how I would get a good boyfriend within a month in L.A. and about how the job situation was better in L.A.

He really wants me to move down there.

Andy and I were never lovers. We would never be lovers. We were just good friends. Maybe I could move to L.A. But, if I'm going to move away, I should consider other places as well. What about Louisiana or Texas?