Had breakfast with Bruce and M at Van's. We really have to watch our conversation. Sometimes when we started talking about gay things, you could tell that the tables around us were trying to listen in. It's not that we were talking about gay porn or anything like that. Just gossip-- so and so broke up, so and so had a steroid rage and attacked his partner with a knife. But still, gay people seam to lead much higher drama lives than straight people.

Another double date day. Andy says I shouldn't do that. Bad karma.

I had lunch with Sean. He replied to my personal ad. He's a good man. He has two kids. Seams to be a fun guy to hang around. But I don't know. We had lunch at the Issaquah Brew pub. Afterwards we took a walk arournd the salmon hatchery. They have a display there, "Discover Your Salmon Fate" My salmon fate was to make it out to the ocean, but upon returning to fresh water, I'd be scooped up by a bear. Sean's salmon fate was to be trapped in Lake Washington because he couldn't figure out how the Ballard Locks worked.

Went out for dinner and a movie with John, the fireman. I don't think it's going to go any where with him. Part of me wants it to. He's great husband material. His last partner lasted for 9 years, till partner died in an auto accident. But, I don't really have feelings for him. He's a nice man; no a good man. He's good looking, and interesting. He has a good job. But I just don't care. He's not really my type which makes the situation awkward. For someone else John would be a 10.

John and I had dinner at the Six Arms. Then we saw American Pie 2.

I'm trying to figure out what I want. What I really want is to find a good husband and to build a life with him. What I want more than that is Harry, however Harry is dating someone, so he's out of the picture.

I think I'm going about husband hunting too aggressvily. I've got to slow down. No more than one date a week. And no over lapping dates.

I've met some nice guys recently-- even attractive guys. But I haven't really met one that I want to get to know better. I haven't had that feeling in a long time, to really want to get to know a man and to spend time with him. I had it with Harry when I met him so I know I can still feel it. Am I too jaded? Have I just not met the right guy?

Maybe I should just go back to Master Mark. At least that was simple. I knew what to expect and what to do.

I got another mention on Tommy's site I can't tell if it was a compliment or not. I probably need to keep my libido in check a bit better. I don't enjoy one night stands. They get me off, but they don't make me happy. If I do have sex with someone I want to spend the night with him, and have breakfast the next morning.