The weather has been perfect lately. A little too warm in the sun. A little too cool in the shade. With a wonderful breeze blowing from the forest, making the temperature perfect and the air so fresh.

 

It's annual review time at work. I heard through the grapevine that my review went well. I don't know what that means. if I get my hopes up, I'm sure they will be crushed.

 

My brother was in town for a few days. It was good to see him. We did the touristy Seattle things that I haven't gone to in years-- the Space Needle, the Aquarium, the Museum of Flight and a dinner cruise of the Sound.

We did this trip in lieu of a week long motorcycle trip. We originally planned to do a longer trip, but then he lost his job.

He has since found a new job.

C&M got married today. Not only does this state now recognize gay marriage, but their church just sanctioned it as well. So, they had a traditional wedding in the church. Good for them.

 

They've already been together for 25 years, so there were many Shotgun and "This wedding was so hasty jokes."

 

 

 

 

MS passed away last night.

 

MS built my house back in the 1950s. She raised her family here. When she was in her 70's, this house become too much for her to take care of, so she sold it and bought a small home half a block away. She often looked over this place to make sure it was well taken care of.

 

Her health had been declining for some time. We haven't seen her as often since she rarely left her home for the last year.

 

Rest in peace.

 

One of the reasons I write this blog is to record things I want to remember.  Maybe I should write more about work, to double check that I am learning, and making progress.

 

Last night RO and I went out dancing with a few other couples. We had a great time. The clubs were fun. I was surprised how packed the streets of Capital Hill were. With the warm weather, the city has come alive.

 

We closed the clubs. One of the men with us was pulled over for a sobriety test. Fortunately, he passed. Still, it ended the evening on a sour note.

 

I got to bed at about 4am and woke up at 8am. I feel draggy today. Now I remember why I don't do this more often. It's a fun lesson to relearn every now and then.

 

 

RO and I went east of the mountains for a few days. The weather was wonderful. Sunny and warm.

 

We drank some good and some bad wine. We met the guy who runs the oldest family run winery and who signed the AVA paperwork for the Columbia wine region.

 

The waiting is over. Our cat has passed away.

 

RO wanted to bring her to the vet one last time. Maybe put her on another course of antibiotics. Maybe a 3rd vet could find something new. After this visit he wanted to give the cat one more week to see if she'd improve.

 

This vet did find something new. Tumors around her liver. After that everything went so quickly. RO asked about putting her down at home. The vet said it was possible, but would take a few days to schedule the appointment.

 

RO suggested we should put her down there. The speed of this decision caught me by surprise.

 

We stayed with our cat as the vet first injected her with a narcotic to put her to sleep, and then another drug to stop her heart. Both of us cried. Even the vet sobbed a little.

 

We brought her home and buried her in our back yard.

 

We went to see Anne and Nancy Wilson, Heart, last night. They are joining the rock and roll hall of fame next week, so they had a show in their home town to celebrate.

They played many songs that they wrote in recent years, not the songs that made them famous. I wanted to be irritated at them for this, for not playing my favorite Heart songs, but damn there new songs are good and they are awesome singers and musicians. These are not musicians who are resting on their laurels and milking their past fame.

My father is farmer. When I told him about our sick cat, of course he had a very simple solution-- a shovel. He is strongly against spending hundreds of dollars on an animal that will die in a few years anyways. Let the end of her life come quick and painlessly. Don't drag it out.

 

The cat isn't getting better or worse. She just sits there. She tolerates the force feedings. Then she stares out to the road. Sometimes she responds when we pet here. But mostly she ignores us.

All day the cat just sits on the front porch. A week ago her head was always down and she slept most of the time. Today she keeps her head up. She will also walk away if you harass her enough. She wants to be left alone.

We took her to the vet twice. They are out of options, unless we want to pay the big bucks for a radiologist to investigate. That's a tough decision, but I can't justify spending a thousand bucks treating a cat.

Recently my parents talked to me about how they want to die. Dad has a strong do-not-resuscitate request. Mom asked us to fight a little for her, but still didn't want to be a vegetable.  We didn't cover that grey area where they slowly get more and more sick over time. What then? If you were awake but always very drowsy and if you had to be tube fed for a long time, would you want to live?

The can't still won't eat or drink. Maybe a nibble or lick here and there, but never a meal, and never enough. We've taken to tube feeding her regularly. We also feed her some meds-- antibiotic and some appetite stimulants.

But still, she just sits there. I can't tell if she's suffering. I can't tell if she will recover. This waiting sucks.

FW:

 Vet says the cat is anemic and probably has either kidney failure, cancer or a virus. We'll get the results of the blood test in a day or two. Till then, she's on an apatite increaser, antibiotics and I'm syringe feeding her a special cat food.

 

 

The cat is very sick. She hasn't ate or drank in days. She just lays and sleeps on the front porch. The vet couldn't find anything obvious wring with her.

Get well soon.

 

why can I play a simple mindless game for hours, but when I have to fill out a form, I keep putting the task off for weeks. Is a catchy tune and achievements all that we need to unleash the next wave of human productivity?  

For the first time in weeks, I am healthy. No cold. No sore muscles.

 

The cold was very contagious. Many people at work caught it.

 

 

 

RO and I have been sick lately. RO has had a bad cold since Vegas. I just picked up the cold and am taking the day off of work.

A couple weeks ago we attended a wine and chocolate party at Andie and Erik's. It was good to see everyone.

They have well behaved toddler who is growing like a weed.

 

Dennis died. He died in a car accident

 

Dennis ran the garage and gas station down the road from us. We trusted him with all our vehicles. His prices were always reasonable, the repairs were always good quality, and he stood by his work.

 

RO and I went to Vegas for the weekend. It

 

Saturday we walked along the strip, looking at the new casinos, shopping in them, checking out their art and eating too much.  Sunday we hung out by the pool.  It was a little cool out of the sun, but a great improvement on Seattle.

 

I saw cirque du Soleil, Mystere, for the second time. The first time was about 10 years ago. I didn't mean to see it the second time and I didn't realize that I had done so until the closing act. The closing act features a large inflatable snail, and is very unforgettable.

 

I guess I should use this blog a little more often for notes. Not that I didn't enjoy Mystere. It just that with so many different Cirque du solei shows on, it would have been nice to see something new.

 

Oh yeah, if you ever go to see Cirque Du Solei, beware the clowns. They are mean. Funny as hell, but mean. They put some members of the audience through some very humiliating, but funny stunts.

 

RO is way for the week. I find my time is going so quickly.  Having someone at home waiting for me forces me to focus and prioritize.  Having the whole day to myself lets me dawdle and get distracted.

 

We're doing a long-term planning a work.  It's very stressful this time.  Planning is a crapshoot in the best of circumstances.  This time there are partners who want to work with us but they won't know what they wanted to for months from now.

 

 

 

What do you do when you dream a great rock anthem, and really want to write down the song of your dreams, yet you have no musical ability at all?

 

I'm going to get back

Get back

Get up and go

Get on the road

 

ok, maybe its not that good.

 

I've been trying to meditate regularly.  No special meditation.  Not Buddhist or transcendental or Hindu or Christian, just me sitting still and not thinking.

 

It's surprising just how often random thoughts pop into my head. I enjoy the quiet. 

 

 I've had one moment of insight.  It's a little goofy but I'm going to record it for posterity.  I was sitting on a bench listening to the waterfalls looking at the fog and clouds while a light rain fell.  It occurred to me that the water, the rain and the fog didn't know that they were different.  The all just existed.  Their difference was in my perception of them.

 

When I meditate it's for 20 minutes.  Long enough to be a commitment but not too long.  I wonder if meditation is selfish or if it encourages me to focus. It is a good way to focus and to become aware just how often my mind runs off on a tangent.