Life goes on. The BIL will be at our place for a few more weeks. He is trying to figure out his future.

Tomorrow I have an interview with a big company. I've been prepping for it for a while. The prep work is pretty much a full time job.

The interview is six hours long. I can bring notes and reference in.

Bring it on...

We picked up the BIL as scheduled. The first day at our home he told us he wasn't ready for deep conversations. He slept a bit, watched TV, ate. We talked about his trip to France. We talked about the news.

This morning he has started to open up to the Husband. They are resetting his passwords and going over his bank statement to see where the  money went.

He is hiding things in our bedroom (underwear, latex gloves) I'm sure he thinks he is being funny. I'm not ready for this brand of humor given what he's gone through. 

The flight from Paris to Seattle has an 8 hour layover in Heathrow. The husband happens to have cousins within commuting distance of Heathrow, so they met him at the airport. They are making sure he has some food and is getting proper rest.

Early in the morning they put him back on a jet for the final leg to Seattle.

I've packed up all the alcohol in the house and am storing it at Clem and Bates. I've also put locks on a couple of rooms with valuables.

When I dropped the alcohol off at Clem's, he asked why we were doing this. The BIL is free to live as he chooses. We have no obligation to rescue him.

We do have no obligation to rescue him.

This is the second time in my life that I've tried to help someone on a death-run. I no longer see the respect in it.

Live blogging the BIL (Brother In Law)

At three in the morning we received a call from the U.S. Embassy in France. The BIL was there. They were making him a new passport. The people on the phone seemed to care. They understood that he couldn't be trusted. They said they would watch over him the best they could. They also made it clear that the BIL is free man. If he chooses to leave, then he can't be stopped.

We cashed in many air miles and got him a ticket from Paris to Seattle. I booked him an Uber. I am pleasantly happy that someone in Seattle can book an Uber for a drive in France. The Uber driver was a bit confused when I explained the situation to him, but he went along with it.

Cars are not allowed at the U.S. Embassy since the Paris bombings, so the driver had to meet the BIL at a hotel down the street. Because the BIL lost his cell phone, we had a few tense minutes after the Embassy staff let the BIL out the door, but before the Uber driver confirmed that the BIL was in the car.

For an hour, I watched the Uber app as they drove towards the airport. The BIL is now at the airport. Security knows about him, and we've arranged for Wheel Chair assistance.

The flight has an overnight layover at London-Heathrow. He arrives in Seattle on Friday.

Keeping our fingers crossed.

Loving detachment... Should we have done this? This isn't the first time that the BIL has had an alcoholic meltdown. It won't be the last. The BIL has lost job after job due to alcohol. My Husband has rescued him far too often. 

The brother in law is still drunk in France. It sounds like the he somehow got his hands on more vodka, and just kept drinking, The B&B host eventually called emergency services and had him sent to the hospital. 

On the topic of my wayward brother-in-law, Tommy writes... "Sounds like the making of a good Southern Play....... where is Tennessee Williams when u need him."

It is. Want to fly to Paris?

The weather has been unusually gorgeous for this time of the year.

C2 was in town for the weekend. He now lives and works in Denver. He visits Washington State regularly as he has family here and he owns a few properties in the area.

C2 has stuff in storage in a few places. He has boxes at his sisters, at his dad's and at our place. He's had this stuff in storage for years.

We went through some of it this weekend. Most of it's near-garbage. You know-- stuff you don't need, yet is not in poor enough condition to throw out or give away.

A vegetable peeler. Internet routers. A shoe shine kit. An old LED alarm clock. A futon that's breaking down. Boxes and boxes of stuff. I'm encouraging C2 to throw it all out. He is still very attached to it.

C2 and his sister are not talking to each other. From what C2's step-mother said, they are both pointing fingers at each other. Neither will take responsibility for rebuilding their relationship. Neither shows empathy or curiosity.

Consider... "I'm in town. Do you want to meet?" v.s. "Hey. We haven't talked in a long time. Let's meet and catch up."

Its important to each that they be unrelentingly right. Or maybe they both want to play the victim to the others lack of social grace. 

We talked about showing empathy. C2 said "I can show empathy when I need to." My thought about empathy-- unless you can show it when you don't need to, then it's not really empathy. 

Family.

My brother in law-- when he's sober, he's a wonderful loving man. Danger, danger when he's not.

The brother-in-law spent a few weeks in France. Some of it was for a work-away. Some of it was at a Buddhist retreat.

Something happened on his way back to the States. The brother-in-law lost his passport. He made his way to the U.S. embassy and managed to call the Husband. The Husband wired him money to get a new passport.

Something happened after the brother-in-law picked up the money and before he got back to the embassy. The brother in law got drunk. He wound up somewhere. Maybe a hostel. He stayed there for a day. He lost the key to that room.

Since early this morning, the hostel owners and the brother-in-law has been on the phone with the Husband. The brother-in-law is asking for something. Not sure what. Mostly the brother-in-law is crying and saying he's sorry. The Husband has suggested to the room owners that they send the brother-in-law to the hospital to sober up.

The husband has been rescuing brother-in-law for years. Seriously, for years. I remember the husband helping out the brother-in-law over fifteen years ago when the brother-in-law had another melt down over drugs and alcohol.

The Husband is torn and has been reading about loving detachment. 

So far so good on the interviews. In the next month, I have two all day interviews coming up. These are with large companies.

I had two additional tech screens with smaller companies, but have not heard back from them. I've been told this is not unusual. Weeks from now they may ask me for another round of interviews. Or, I may never hear from them again.

I've started interviews. I've also started looking for an interview coach. I don't want to screw too many of them up.

The first call is with a recruiter. I generally pass those.

The second interview is deeper with someone who is generally hiring for the job. Different companies want very different things from their managers. Some want a manager who is super strong technically. Some want a manager who is great with the people, and differs all technical discussions to the team.

I try to be professional through it all.

I've started job hunting. So far, so good. Recruiters are willing to talk to me and I'm in the process of scheduling an on-site interview with an old-competitor.

Some old friends of the husband's stayed over Saturday night for a birthday celebration.

We also went out and attended a local haunted forest. The haunted forest is a fundraiser for the local Rotary club. It is a huge production! There were well over a hundred volunteers dressed up to scare. There were so many scary scenes. It was much fun. Parking, and the line to get in were crazy

Monday morning, I've started looking for a job. Mostly I'm polishing my resume, my LinkedIn profile and figuring out who the good recruiters are. 

I am trying to break my habit of regularly checking the internet. Writing is OK. Being creative or generative, that is good. But checking my email, Facebook, Reddit, Twitter, whatever. There is little need for that. I could check them once a week and I wouldn't miss a thing.

I am doing well with my time off. I am not bored. I had better not get used to this because I have to return to work.

I talked to my old boss— the one who was fired exactly one year before me. He suggested I take a couple weeks to decompress, and then start a job hunt. The time will go quickly.

I've spent the last couple of days, reading, exercising and purging— getting rid of stuff I will no longer need.

I'm also collecting ideas on how to approach my job search. I have an interview with an old competitor coming up. I want to use this as a learning interview, and not be desperate to take the first job offered to me.

The husband has been wonderful though this. Suggesting that I take the tine I need to decompress, and offering my suggestions of recruiters I can reach out to later.

I have an on-site interview with a competitor of the old company. I had a phone screen with them last week. This is good news, but I must be cautious. The competitor doesn't know that I am currently unemployed. That news could change things. 

We spent the weekend at Disney in California with Evan and Allen.

Allen called the event a Disneyathalon We walked over 10 miles each on Friday and Saturday. Then 5 more on Sunday.

We were in the park by 8am on Friday and 7am on Saturday. We didn't leave till after 10pm both nights.

Disney is a very special place for the husband. He grew up in California and spent many family vacations there. As an adult he loves to go back.

The first thing I decided to do today is to apply for U.S. citizenship. After 22 years of living in this country, it's time to naturalize.

The citizenship applications asks for much old paperwork to document my past. Every trip outside the country. Old divorces. Old fights. Where I have lived in the past five years. My husband's divorce. That night I spent in jail.

I don't like myself on paper. Or maybe it's just the shock of having old memories dredged up and aired in front of me.

I talked to my former boss, who coincidentally, left the mother company exactly one year ago yesterday. We talked about life after that career-- we were both at the mother company for over 20 years.

The old boss warned me that time would go quickly. He suggested I take some time to decompress before I make more plans.

I am getting inundated with messages from old coworkers, Curious. Wishing me well.

So what's new?

I am no longer an employee at the mother company. I've worked there for 22 years. I've been through so much there. Lately, it's been super frustrating and stressful. For months really with no end in sight. Sometimes the difference between stress and excitement is a deep desire for the battle.

Today we agreed to part ways.

This is a strange moment in my life. I have had a job full time schooling in my life since I was 15 years old. I am 49 now.

This husband is thankful that the stress has been lifted. He has a good job, and we have a good chunk of savings and investments. Materially we'll be OK. Maybe I won't retire when I'm 55, but there are worse things.

What's new...

The husband's mother was in town for a few days. We took her to a play, took her to a dinner circus and hosted a game night with some friends with her.

Fall is here. Looking over my past years blogs, I see that I post the return-of-fall every year. This year the return was sudden. One day it was sunny and warm. The next day it was cool, clouds with a lite drizzle.

A dear friend of the husband is in town for the weekend. We have been seeing the sights and eating too much. 

A wonderful Labor Day weekend.