Admitting that you’ve fucked up is liberating. Yes, part of you doesn’t want to do it because, well, you’ve fucked up. It’s easier to believe a lie, than to admit you are wrong. But when you actually do it, you’ve got proof that at least part of your soul is honest, and wants to improve.

I saw Terry again at the Cuff. He’s still dating that guy. They seam to be happy. I’d like to date Terry, and I regret what happened between us. When I look at his boy friend, I’m not jealous; I’m reminded of my selfishness.

Brian is stalking me. I ran into him at the Cuff on Friday. He said he wanted to sleep with me, but I told him no. We ended up fighting over it outside of the Cuff. I walked away and told him to stay away. He shouted at me to come back and fishing talking to him. He also said he was going to go to my house. I shouted at him to go back to the Cuff, and have fun with his friends.

When I drove home, I didn’t park in my driveway. I parked around the corner. Sure enough, 15 minutes later, Brian drove up to my house. He called me too, but I didn’t pick up. After a few minutes he left.

Saturday night, I stayed home. At 4:00am I someone called. I didn’t pick up. A few minutes later someone started knocking at the door. I looked out the window. It was Brian. I went down and opened the door. He told me that he locked the keys in his truck. He was really drunk, he couldn’t stand without wobbling.

So I let him in, and we slept together. He was hung over the next day. In the morning we called AAA to open his truck. It took 2 hours for the locksmith to get here.

After he got his keys back, Brian apologized and left. He asked me I wanted to have dinner that night. I said no because I had hockey. He tried to arrange something during the week. I was very non-committal. I should have said no, but I didn’t want to get into another fight with him. Later on that day, he called and apologized again.

Sunday night I went to the Cuff. This is when I saw Terry and his BF. Dwayne is back from Nebraska. So I talked to him for a while. Terry and I exchanged glances, but it may just be that he’s looking at me because I look at him. Brian was there too When I left, he followed me out and apologized again. I wish Brain would get over me.

At 10:30pm I played hockey. My new team is pretty weak, but improving. We lost 5-3. I think I’m playing the best I’ve ever played. Not that I’m a great player. I’m thinking more, and I can finally do emergency sprints. I still have to work on carrying the puck.

The Team is fun. Even though all but 4 of us are new, we have a lot of good guys and girls. We decided that our team is for people who are gay, gay friendly or straight women who want to pick up men.