Fall is here. As it happens every year, the spiders have returned. Or perhaps they never left. Whatever the truth is, spiders build large numbers webs in the fall in the Pacific North West. I am in our backyard reading and I count no less than six large webs around me, in the bushes, in the trees and on the deck.

I’m fine with them but they creep the husband and the roommate out. 

Spiders aside, I enjoy this weather. I can use a few hours of quiet contemplation. Spiders are good company.

The post man knocked on the door today. When I answered, he handed me my keys. Apparently I forgot them yesterday in the mailbox lock.

So lucky. I wasn't even aware that I lost my keys. 

 The someone got his tests back. He did not have coronavirus.

Fall has come quickly. It's windy out. It's raining. 

What is coronavirus exposure etiquette? The Husband was exposed to someone whose roommate tested positive for COVID.  The husband texted everyone he had recently been in contact with. On Friday, we should know if that someone tests positive for COVID.

I am personally not worried about being infected.

Things quiet down...

The rains have come and cleaned up the local forest fires. Our air is back to normal. I don't know if the same is true in Oregon and California.

My dad had his first knee surgery. It went well. I'll have his second in the coming months. I'm going to try and be there for him, though that means I will need to quarantine for a few weeks.

The husbands parents are doing well.

C2 was in town for the weekend. He too is moving his father to a retirement home. We talked about the challenges of aging parents. Of course he is facing it all with his typical grumpy/stoic attitude. 

Tommy commented... "I imagine it is worse, far worse than a lil hurricane...since it covers many miles in all directions and the Smell is ever present"

I'm not sure how to compare the smoke to a hurricane. The smoke won't damage your home. It's a slow, drawn out thing. For most of us, it's not life threatening. You just feel low energy all the time and develop a scratchy throat. 

A hurricane hits you hard. Then it's over and you can assess the damage and come up with a plan.

Next topic... I made vinegar. Back when we were in California, the father-in-law gave me a case of cheap wine. I didn't feel like drinking it, so I decided to make vinegar with it. It's not hard.

The first batch finished yesterday. And, it tastes like vinegar. Nothing special. Maybe a bit stronger than regular white wine vinegar.

I pickled a batch of green beans with it. We shall see how that turns out.

The smoke is crazy today. I lose my breath walking up a hill I could ordinarily jog up. I am looking forward to the rains.

 I spoke too soon about glorious weather. We had about a day of smoke from the fires in eastern Washington.

The brother-in-law has stopped his alcoholic bender. He is back to work. The husband spends a few evenings a week with him. It's good for both of them.

I've been planning out how to spend some time with my parents. Because they are in Canada, I will have to quarantine for 15 days before I can visit them as the law says you cant quarantine in a house with anyone over the age of 65. This means I will need to spend probably three weeks in Canada. Too long to take vacation. So I must work from Canada for a few weeks. 

I've found a place where I can stay for two weeks-- I have many friends in Ontario. Now I have to check in with the husband. I don't think he'll be able to work from remote from Canada for three weeks. 

Too much planning. 

I see the first hints of fall. The flowers are past their prime. Some of the trees are dry, leaves turning brown.

Our backyard has a bit of a natural sundial. The sun only clears the tallest trees during the longest days of summer. Now with the days growing shorter, our afternoon sunlight is filtered by leaves.

Still, the weather is glorious. Sunny. Warm. No hints of the Seattle rain just yet.

Sunday we arrived home. I felt my mood lift up as I got out of the car. In Sacramento the temperature was 100F. The air was thick with smoke from the fires. In the Pacific Northwest the air is clean and the temperature is around 72F. 

The husband is heading downtown to spend the afternoon with his brother. The brother is trying to stay sober and to keep things together. The husband desperately wants him to succeed. 

Of course the news and work is also weighing heavily on the husband. This morning he asked how I handled it? Do I just ignore it? I took a breath and responded "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change..."

It's going better than we thought. My mother-in-law's spirits are much improved now that she is home from the recovery center. She can use a walker to get around. 

Nurses will be dropping by regularly for physical & occupational therapy.

To be honest, I didn't know that there was a difference between physical and occupational therapy until now.

Later this week we are having a lift installed at her house. 

The biggest complication could be her pets.. The mother in-law's dog is very old and blind. She wanders randomly around the house. She pees and poos wherever she feels like it. She is on much medication. The first night we were here, we woke up to whimpering. The dog got stuck in a box and couldn't get out. 

That dog is not long for this world.

The brother-in-law is also on the mend. I'm not sure he is sober just yet, but he has started attending Zoom AA meetings. 

 I see the hurricanes coming your way Tommy. God bless. 

 

 We are on our way to the inlaws in California. The haze in the  photo is from the California wildfires. You can taste and smell it in the air.

I am actually not really sure what's going on with my brother-in-law. He didn't actually check himself into detox. Since then, he has been calling and texting the husband, asking for help. The husband drove to the brother-in-law's place and tried to pick him up, but the brother-in-law didn't open the door, or respond to shouts from the street. 

The husband is done with his brother. Right now my mother-in-law is in the hospital. She will need help when she gets out. We are traveling to California this weekend for that. The brother-in-law is making his own choices. He has to deal with these consequences. 

The brother in law has fallen of the wagon. This morning he checked himself into a detox. This has been weighing heavily on the Husband. Thankfully the Husband didn't come to his rescue. The brother in law made this choice himself. 

 

We are at peak summer. The flower are in full boom. The weather is perfect. The days are sunny and warm

The mother in law is doing better. She will get out of recovery in another week or two. When that happens we will head down to California to care for her for a couple of weeks. 

We were out on a friends boat today. We trolled past where the billionaires live. It's interesting to see the degrees of richness. There are those who have a nice house on the water. There are those who have a very big and nice house on the water. There are those who have a very big and nice house with a huge manicured lawn along the water. Then there are those rare few who live in what appear to be huge parks along the water and have security that will chase you away if you linger too long. 

The brother-in-law has moved out. He's found a little studio apartment in downtown Seattle. Yesterday the husband helped him move. 

Yesterday evening was quiet. I didn't realize how accustomed I've become to his constant engagement.

The mother-in-law-- after a good nights sleep, she became much more even tempered. She still isn't happy where she is. We are not either. The staff sounds over worked. Nothing dangerous though. 

My mother in law is angry at everything. She is in a recovery center now and seem to be in good hands, though she is in pain.

The husband the brother-in-law are spending a lot of time listening to her. They are worried that the medical staff around her will give up because of her non-stop anger. The options to move her to another recovery center are very limited because of COVID. Also, there is no guarantee that she won't be just as angry in the next recovery center since she can't really express why she is angry. When the husband asked her questions about what was wrong and what she needed, she becomes angry at him for asking questions, for not helping. 

Otherwise, thing would be nice here in Seattle. The weather is wonderful. Our jobs are going well. 

My father needs knee surgery. He will probably have this surgery in November. I'm trying to figure out how to join him. He is in Canada, so I will need to quarantine for two weeks before I see him. Canada actually enforces these things so I can't cheat. 

When it rains it pours.

Last night my mother-in-law fell and broke her pelvis. She is in the hospital and will require long term care.

The husband and I figuring out our plans now. 

"These lessons that our parents are teaching us. This is not how you live." -- my brother-in-law


We are back home.
Thursday we drove the 13 hours from the in-laws to our place.

Things ended well my father-in-law. He seems to be happy in the new place. He is socializing a little. He is eating proper meals. He is taking his medications appropriately. His voice is a little more cheerful.

My mother-in-law is now considering her situation.

My friend C2 is fond of pointing out that decisions can be decisive, delayed, or desperate. The latter happening when you put off making hard choices, when you run out of time and end up accepting the only option on the table.

The seems to be what my father-in-law did. He desperately wanted to retain his freedom and to keep everyone happy. Maybe if he pushed the hard choices off a bit, then he would feel better. More energized. That's not what happened. He ended up unable to take care of himself in the hospital and needing someone to quickly move him.

My mother-in-law is also going down that path. The retirement homes she can afford aren't nice enough for her, so she keeps pushing off the decision. Most of the day she sits alone in her house. Her social circle have greatly shrunk due to COVID. She is on oxygen. She is too tired to drive anywhere or do things, especially in the heat of the north-central California summer.

I hope she makes a decisive choice.

In the future, I hope I make a decisive choice.