The sun returns. Monday was the first day since the fall where it was still light outside when I left work. This morning was the first morning since the fall where it was light outside when the morning alarm went off. These simple things cheer me up.

I still enjoy shopping for cameras. I've decided against buying though. Instead of taking and processing photos, I'm going to spend more time reading and writing.

Steven, C6, QJ and I went skiing this past weekend. We lucked out with the weather. We booked the trip about two months ago when the snow was heavy. Since then its been warmer and rainier than normal. Fortunately, the weather cleared and we had a good day.

C6 has a calm wisdom about him. Years ago when I first met him, was partying hard and doing steroids to beef up. He's since had a heart transplant and got sober. He is still living life to it's fullest, but in a very different, thoughtful way. 

Because of the transplant, C6's heart is not hooked up to his nervous system. This means that his brain can't tell his heart when to beat fast. The heart has to figure it out for itself. In practice, C6 can't just suddenly exert himself. He has to warm up for a few minutes until his heart realizes it needs to beat faster. Likewise when he stops pushing himself, his heart will beat fast for a few minutes. 

We snowboarded all day then relaxed in the hotels pool. All enjoyable. 

News on the Sponsee. Tonight Steven went to a recovery meeting with the sponsee tonight. The sponsee is doing well. When he first entered treatment, the sponsee was so white that he was nicknamed 'Powder.' He is now looking much healthier and is in better spirits.  

While a contemplate my the extra cash in my life, I find myself asking 'how do I want to live?'

I used to have a great camera and enjoyed taking photos. Somewhere along the line all that stopped. Then my camera went missing in the separation from my ex.

Lately I've been looking over nice cameras. Reading reviews. Comparing. But I can't honestly say that I would make great use of a good camera. I don't take that many pics with my cell phone. I don't have that much time to process pictures. Steven and I have busy careers and I don't want to take away from that in our time off.

So the good camera goes by the wayside.

Dinner and a play last night. The play was "Straight White Men"  I'm not sure what to think about S.W.M. Steven loves theater. I enjoy a big theatrical productions. Smaller plays usually don't click with me.

 

SWM is a play about white male privilege. The writer approaches this very maturely-- there are no easy answers. Yes, white men have privileges. Asking straight white men to give them up is just not a solution. There is no solution to the problem of your existence.

 

The gimmick of the play is that while the main cast are all white men, the crew and minor characters are very visible minorities. Between acts the minorities reset the stage and then go and sit in the audience. In my case, the flaming black gay man who introduced the play sat right next to me. During the play he would quietly talk about the events with those around him. In one scene when the white men are all eating the same piece of pie, the drag queen quipped "But it's flu season!"

 

Like I said, I'm not sure what to think about this play.

 

Before the play we had dinner with Blum. Meeting Blum is a small-world story. I worked with Blum maybe 10 years ago. We drifted apart as work changed. Recently, Steven met Blum through his recovery meetings. Blum invited Steven to her holiday party. And we reconnected.

 

 

 

No changes on sponsee. He is still in his first 30 days of treatment. Steven called a few of the sponsee's siblings this morning to ensure they know what is going on.

I see that Tommy has hit a bump with his treatments. I hope all goes well. He is doing the right things.

At my parents home, mother is on more medication for her seizures. Dad thinks her memory is in more rapid decline.

I'm doing very well through all of this. I paid my last payment to my ex so there is now some extra cash in the budget. The pets are doing fine. Steven and I are doing great.

The sponsee has checked into treatment.

The night before he said he was so anxious about treatment that he hardly slept a wink.

Wednesday morning we drove to the treatment center. He had to give up his cell phone, but he is allowed to receive mail, so he was scrambling to write down contact information.

The treatment program is six months long and very cloistered. He could only bring in underwear, socks and $60.00 in cash. He will only be able to see a few preapproved visitors after 30 days. It's not a lock up though. The doors were open. We had to be buzzed in, but I could exit the building without being stopped. He can leave when he wants.

I hung around for a half an hour just to double check he met all the basic requirements. Then we said our good byes and I left.

Today, I am determined to not be a couch potato. I am leaving the TV off and engaging with other things. Such as writing a long and sprawling blog entry. I'm not sure the world is better off because of this. But hey…

The sponsee is still here. Last Thursday he was very sick with a cold so we couldn't check him into addiction treatment. His check-in date is now set for this Wednesday. We have been taking care of him. Fortunately he has been very easy to take care of as he sleeps most of the time.

Friday afternoon the sponsee called me. The fire alarms were going off in our house. He said there was no smoke. He couldn't figure out how to reset the alarms. I quickly drove home to investigate—the house and the sponsee. The sponsee was right. There didn't appear to be any reason for the alarms to go off. I pulled the alarm batteries and disconnected their hard lines. Modern fire detectors are just too clever. The sponsee was clear headed when we talked, but still sick and coughing. He went to bed and fell asleep shortly after I shut off the alarms.

Saturday morning I fell into some kind of procrastination black-hole. I couldn't bring myself to watch the tv shows that I wanted to watch. That would be admitting that I was goofing off. Instead, I left "The Amazing World Of Gumball" on TV and just vegged. Gumball is not the kind of show that adults should binge watch. It's a clever children's show with occasional naughty jokes. None the less, I watched it for hours. What are those creatures? What are the laws of physics in that universe?

Saturday afternoon Steven returned from his trip. I was very glad to see him.

Saturday evening was Yo's birthday. Steven and I were invited, but we thought it best if Steven stayed with the sponsee. I took a few hours off and went there by myself.

I took a Lyft there and back. I really like Lyft. The service that they provide is great. Getting a taxi is easy. I know what I'm going to pay before hand. Rides come quickly. The cars are clean.

Why is it that when I call a big taxi company, it takes 30 minutes to get a ride to my house, But with Lyft, one will be there in 5?

Anyways, It's a treat to use Lyft. Not only could I drink with out worry, but I didn't have to deal with traffic or parking. The next time Steven and I go out for an evening, I'm going to use Lyft even if it is many bucks more than driving. Steven can get frustrated driving and parking, especially when it's raining and the traffic is high. He has mentioned that he wants me to drive more, but he is such a control freak that he doesn't like it when I drive. Lyft may avoid that problem and let us have a stress free evening away.

Back to Yo and the Angel. I had dinner and drinks with them. We three are all escapees of very bad relationships. The Angel opened up about that with me for the first time.

We had a wonderful dinner. We had great drinks—hand crafted cocktails. A "Hand-crafted Cocktail Lounge" sounds pretentious compared to a "Bar" but these lounges do a nice job. They are well designed. The drinks are nice to look at. The bartenders are very showy while they make them.

The difference between a bar and a cocktail lounge… at a bar, a scantily dressed young waitress will quickly bring you your drink in a Solo cup. Male bartenders or waiters are rare. At a high end lounge, well dressed men and women will serve you and even have good conversation with you.

So I had a party night with Yo and the Angel. Even though I drank heavily, I was home by 10pm. This is my life now. When did that change happen? There were years when I wouldn't head out to a club until 10pm. Now 10pm is bed time. Even on weekends.

Sunday morning I woke up with a bit of a hangover. I cannot let Steven know when I have a hangover. Given his attitude on drinking, I think that he'd rub it in. I drank a lot of water and took a few asprin. I went for a nice long hike with the dog.   

Sunday afternoon the sponsee took a home drug test as the addiction treatment center won't take you unless there are no drugs in your system. The test showed all clear.  It was nerve wracking waiting for the test to process. We had a good laugh after.

Sunday evening the sponsee went out to his car to remove any valuables. Steven, not joking, asked "Should we watch him. Do you think he will return?" We were relieved when he did return ten minutes later.

Steven is away this week for work. We said our goodbyes a few hours ago. I babysit the sponsee today. Another AA acquaintance will watch him tomorrow. Wednesday morning we check him into treatment.

I hope he makes it.

The sponsee is here. He is pasty and tired. He says he's been awake for three days. Crystal meth and gambling. He is very uncertain of himself.

He is in bed now.

Steven is away for a few days so we have been coordinating over the phone. The sponsee is spending the night here. In the morning he drives him self to a someone (Who is also in AA) They will spend the day going to AA meetings and doing research on recovery & treatment options.  

If all goes to plan, Thursday evening the sponsee heads back to our place.

I'm trying to be a good host but am staying detached. A cynical part of me says I'd love to be taken care of for a month and to receive counseling and coaching to help solve my problems. But, that is not helpful. His are not my problems.

I don't understand addiction. Sure, there have been times I've drank too much or done other stupid things. But, I've always been able to stop myself or change. These addicts push on till money, hunger or health slam them into a wall.

Of course there is always more bad news. A friend's daughter was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. The friend flew into town to spend time with her. We don't know what her future will bring, though it has spread far with tumors in her colon and on her liver.

 

 

Steven is heard from the sponsee. He's alive, though he's not in treatment. Hopefully things don't get much worse for him.

 

The sponsee… some thing has happened.

Steven received a text earlier today from the sponsee. The sponsee had  to leave treatment. He said his insurance was denied.

We three made an arrangement that the sponsee would sleep at our townhouse tonight. While the sponsee was waiting for me to return to home, he said he would go to a nearby AA meeting. Afterwards he would drive to our house.

But then nothing. The sponsee has gone quiet. I hope the best for him. I fear the worst.

Am back to work again. Some people are still away for the week. Some are here. Progress on last years projects is quickly spinning up.

 

 

Happy New Year all!

We spend the evenings at friends, Allen and Evan. They cooked a great dinner for us—prime rib, Yorkshire pudding, roast veggies.

Now, we are all early people. While we originally intended to stay up to midnight, at about 11pm we started to peter out. We excused ourselves and drove home and watched the New Year come in on our TV. They we promptly went to bed.

New Years Resolutions-- Looking over my blogs, I see that I don't have a great track record of keeping resolutions. I think I will leave this at that.

 

 

This week I am on vacation. Steven is heading up to Alaska for a few days of work. So I shall have a quiet few days. I have a few odd jobs planned—little house maintenance things that need to be done but that I keep putting off.

Just me and the dog and a lot of great hiking trails.

Steven and the sponsee have just left. They are heading to a medical evaluation before the sponsee is checked into a treatment program.

The sponsee's life melted down over the past few days. The family he was staying with kicked him out. His ex wife refused to let him see or talk to his kids. This morning, we packed up everything he owns and put it in his storage locker.

On the positive side, he didn't steal or cheat. His health appears to be fine. As they say in the program... as long as you are not dead or in jail, then you can fix things.

Something different for Christmas this year. One of Steven's sponsee's fell of the wagon and spent a few thousand dollars on drugs and gambling. He may have been kicked out of his room. Or maybe not. His story isn't clear here and he is afraid to communicate with those he has dissapointed. Either way, he's spending a few days with us. On Tuesday we check him into a treatment center. 

Steven and I had a good chat about this before we let him in. Usually he is a nice guy and comes accross as having his head screwed on straight. Still, we hid any valuables and agreed that someone had to be with him while he is in the house. 

Steven and the sponsee have been spending their time talking about sobriety, treatment options and the consequences of going on a bender.

Steven, Bailey and I  spent a few days at Whistler skiing and snowboarding. It was my first time snowboarding in a few years, and my first time at Whistler ever. A few impressions. Mostly these are notes for me to remember the next time I travel there...

Whistler is the Disney of skiing. A bit of searching suggests that it's the largest ski resort in North America. The village around the base is built around hotels, bars, restaurants and shopping with ski lifts right in the center.

The resort is built in the valley between two mountains-- Whistler and Blackcomb. Blackcomb is a more challenging mountain. My skill level could handle Blackcomb, but it was exhausting. We had much more fun on Whistler.

Australians are everywhere in Whistler. Apparently Canada allows for unlimited work visas for Australian citizens. Young Australians take advantage of this and flock to whistler to work and ski for the season.

Next time we are there, we should do more research on the different accommodations. Our building was right on the ski run, which is nice, but it was older and the beds were past their prime. I think we could do much better for not that much more money.

There is a whole social life around skiing at whistler. Baily, who skis there almost every year, kept running into people that she only meets there. The general flow is to ski until 3 or 4. Then have a little après-ski (after-ski drinks at the bar. Some of the bar bands are incredibly good) This is followed by a soak in the hot tub and then dinner around 7pm. We fell asleep every night by 10pm since skiing is so exhausting.

Skiing is the opposite of a nice beach vacation. Much work, effort and coordination must go into a ski trip. None of this is relaxing. Its all made up for by the views and freedom that you experience while skiing. 

My last support check to RO is due soon. This brings up many memories, not only for me, but for RO. Tonight he texted me a goodbye love note. With his history of attempted suicide, this makes me think twice. I'm presuming that he is saying goodbye in a friendly way.

 

 

Saxe Point Park in Victoria

We spent the weekend in Victoria. Very plesant and quaint.

We took the Victoria clipper up. That sounds more romantic than it is. The seating is a little better than economy class. You have to go through customs on either end.

The views along the way are wonderful. I saw a pod of orcas. Steven got some great pictures of the sunset.

Victoria, like Seattle, is going through a growth spurt. Lots of construction. I'm not sure what is driving the growth though. I'll look that up sometime.

Steven and I both agreed that we could retire in Victoria.

Saturday night was a party with Steven's old friends, including Vic.

Vic and Steven were once married. The three of us were great friends. That was years ago. Vic and Steven have both rebuild their lives. Vic has since remarried. 

Steven and I chatted about that. He wanted to ensure that I was comfortable around Vic. I admitted it was a little weird, but it was also good to see him again. 

We also got to see Vic's son and his son's wife. I last saw Vic's son when he was 12. I think his son is now 27.  So much time has passed. 

Sunday morning we walked along the waterfront and through the Empress Hotel (Which is gorgeous) and along the shoppping district. The weather was wonderful. A great way to end the weekend.