We are away in the carribean. It's beautiful, hot and humid. Hurricane Harvey has impacted much of a other Texas. Steven has friends there. They are OK. 

More in a bit.

A co worker took some eclipse photos. We had a 92% eclipse.

The Eclipse was today. This morning at work there was a small gathering of folks taking pictures or using various eclipses glasses to watch. All fun

Over the weekend we went to an AA retreat. It was at a lodge on a nearby mountain. Most of the point of the retreat was to get AA members to build relationships. To be friends with each other. To work on being friends.

I'm not a member of AA, but Steven is. In fact, Steven was one of the organizers. I fit in well. Most of the sober men there now have there heads screwed properly, so this wasn't difficult. There were a few guys there who were a bit slow or forgetful. Part of the challenge was learning how to help these people along.

Today's weather, 86F and smoke...

Haze

We are having a hot spell here in the Pacific North West. That, coupled with large forest fires east of the mountains has made the air unusually hazy and heavy. It's like breathing in a traffic jam. I take the clear air around here for granted.

I enjoy the hot weather, though it does slow me down. I am most energized with the temperature is in the high sixties. Steven doesn't like heat. It makes him sweat a lot. It makes him irritable. In the past, I've noticed my brother has the same problem. Heat makes him sick. I guess we are all true Northerners.  

Even when I dream of retiring to the beach, the beach is an Oregon beach that is always cool.

Steven and I have been talking about retirement. We have much saving and planning to do. Where and how do we want to live?

Steven and I had dinner with Clem & Bates. Clem recently retired. Bates is still working. Bates strongly recommends that Steven and I retire together. Clem's freedom and Bates obligations are causing stress in their relationship. It's not that Bates is jealous of Clem's freedom.  It's the other way around. Clem has lost some of the purpose in his life. He doesn't know how to manage so much free time. Clem hates being alone during the day when Bates is away at work. He cleans way too much because he doesn't know what else to do.  Then he develops some resentments that Bates isn't cleaning as much.

Clem has had a succession of part time jobs that he quits after a week or two because he doesn't enjoy them. He has being going out to the clubs to party more. He recognizes that that is a dead end. 

Steven and I are watching them and trying  to learn. I'm sure they will work out their issues. They give us much to think about. Both Clem & Bates have good pensions to fund their retirements. Steven and I have always been professionals who will need to depend on savings. How much will we need? How do we make that happen? We both live in industries where there are very few people who are older than 55. What if we must work into our 60s?

We shall work it out and I may be over analyzing things.

Twenty Years.

I've now been in Seattle for twenty years. Me and a few coworkers, who are also at the same company for twenty years, all celebrated this at a nice local Steak House with our manager and our spouses.

One guy got a bit too drunk and ended up apologizing the next day. Nothing major.

 

 

 

Goat…

My division had a BBQ on Friday. It's a wonderful annual tradition. For a few weeks before this BBQ, a coworker, Kristopher, has been trying to convince Andrew to bring goat to the BBQ. Apparently back at Andrew's parents home, they often have goat at BBQs.

So Andrew brought goat. Fresh from the butcher. He also brought along the goat's head.

There were mixed reactions. Some people were repulsed by the goat. Some people wanted to taste grilled goat, but couldn't get over the head. Some people were really into the goat. They had grilled goat liver.

Andrew brought the goat head home to make goat head cheese.

I told Steven this story. He was disgusted by it. He showed me YouTube videos of baby goats playfully prancing around and asked "How could you eat that!" He became vegetarian for about 10 minutes.

 

 

 

We took the weekend off. Slept in. Afternoon naps. Some hiking. Watched some movies. Had dinner with a neighbor.

Don is one of our neighbors. We met him walking dogs. Recently he had to put his dog down. The dog was an old fella who finally met his time.

We have dinner with Don every few months. Don can be quirky and a little of him goes a long way. Though Sundays dinner with him was very pleasant.

The wedding is over. The guests have returned home. Life returns to normal, but I'm still basking the glow.

We rented a block of rooms at a local hotel to ensure our guests would all be close at hand of sight seeing and for the wedding. We also wanted to avoid choosing which family got to stay in our house, and which had to stay elsewhere.

My parents arrived Wednesday evening and we brought them to their room. My mom looked around and become very uneasy. The room was on the 19th floor. That made her very uncomfortable. We called to the front desk. They found another room on the 12th floor. We went down there. Then mom she said she was expecting and looking forward to staying with Steven and I. And it was very disappointing for her to stay in a hotel. We talked about it for a bit and decided that my mom and dad could stay at our house.

The above makes my mother sound very manipulative. That's not true. Mom has dementia. She routinely forgets where she is. Emotional surprises are very confusing to her.

Since where I'm living now is not where she remembers where I lived, we were worried that my new house would also be a shock to her.

Originally, we thought this would put a few kinks in our plans since we would now need to taxi mom and dad around. Fortunately, my friends C2 & J&G helped out there. Over the next few days C2 would spend a lot of time with my parents making sure they got to the right place.

Dad is good with watching over her and catching her up when she gets confused. It seems that she blanks out and then tries to figure out where she is from what's going on around her.  A few times mom thought she was elsewhere. Usually in Ottawa. She would see that she was in a city. The nearest city to her home is Ottawa, so she'd conclude Ottawa was where she was. We'd gently remind her that she was in Seattle for my wedding. The light would come on in her head.

We had to watch diligently when she went to the bathroom. It would be very bad if she forgot where she was with none of us around.

Thursday morning my friends G&J arrived as well as some of Steven's family. Steven and I separated for the afternoon while Steven caught up with his family. I took G&J and my parents sight seeing. We visited a few local parks to catch the views and spend some time in the sun-- the weather was perfect.

We caught up for drinks and dinner at a bar called the Nest which is on the top of a local hotel. More gorgeous views.

Friday we took it a bit easier. I wanted to make sure that mom and dad could have a nap-- mom being less prone to forgetfulness when she is well rested. We toured Theo's chocolate. Dad really enjoyed that as he is a chocolate lover.

You get to eat a lot of good chocolate on Theo's Chocolate tour. I recommend it for that.

Friday evening was a dinner for the out-of-towners. This was a good dinner hosted by one of Steven's oldest friends. I am very grateful to her for this. About 20 people where there, and she paid for our dinner and drinks.

The event was a bit of a high school reunion of Steven as half a dozen of his old high school friends attended.

Saturday was show time. Steven and I slept it. G&J dropped by for breakfast.

Steven's brother and another friend took care of flowers and some of setup.

The wedding was a blur. We arrived at the venue, at about 3pm and helped with setup. The venue is an extra large suite at a hotel. so at about 4pm Steven and I went to the bedroom and dressed for the wedding. We both wore tuxedoes and bow ties. It was fun.

Guests started arriving at about 6pm. The ceremony started around 7pm. It went well. We both cried a little as we recited our vows. It was very emotional. Joyous. I saw friends there I haven't seen it years.

Catering left around 11:00pm. The last of the guests by 11:30. Steven and I collapsed in bed from exhaustion by midnight.

We woke up filling great. I know it's mushy, but I smile every time I call Steven "Husband"

We met the guests for a going away brunch and said our good buys.

The last few days have been a blur. So many guests, old friends and new. Its all going well.

The wedding is in a few hours. I'm stealing a few minutes to write this down. Will write much more in a day or.two.

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The organizing is winding down. Soon the execution begins.



Guests arrive Wednesday to Friday. We've arranged a hotel, itinerary and gift bags.

Till now we've kept our relationship and wedding off of RO's radar-- no Facebook posts,  We talked about that and decided to "come out." RO casts too much of a shadow over us. It's been two and a half years since I ended my relationship with RO. It's time to move on.  So Steven and I posted about our wedding on Facebook.

We talked with C2 about it. He agrees that we that we shouldn't feel the need to hide our relationship. He also asked us to get security at the wedding. There is a 95% chance that nothing will happen. But you never know...

Steven is much more eloquent that I am. The facebook post is so sweet. His vows are nice. I can learn  lots from him.

The wedding is July 8.

The wedding logo stuff is arriving. We have pillows, thank you notes, pens and coasters. I've also seen napkins with the logo. I don't know where those have gone.

Steven loves this stuff. He does this type of event planning for work, so he knows how to get it done. I've told him that sometimes I feel like a bit of a tourist through this. I can watch, but it's difficult for me to participate.

I think this may be one of the perpetual tensions in our relationship. I can be very minimalist. Steven loves his art. He loves design. He loves decoration. We are very good at meeting each other in the middle. Sometimes we look at each other with very different perspectives.

"That's too much! This is unnecessary."

"You are not trying...  this could be so much more."













Love you!

Saturday. Three weeks till the wedding.

 

The wedding has a logo. Steven took it from our Wedding invitation. He has since ordered mugs, pillows coasters and note cards with it on it. It's kind of cute, but mostly I'm reminded that he appreciates things that I don't. Little proper details.

 

I'm not nervous about the wedding. It's all good.

 

C3 won't attend the wedding. He'll spend a few days before hand with us. As he said, in his present state of mind he doesn't feel anything. He doesn't want to be a stick in the mud.

 

 

Steven has kept in touch with many of his childhood friends. I don't know if this unusual or common. I have not kept in touch with my grade school friends

It seems that once a month I meet a few grade school friend of his.

I've known Steven for years, and I'm still meeting new grade school friends of his.

They are all nice people. We have pleasant dinners together.

 

This past weekend was my birthday. Steven arranged a weekend away at the coast with two great friends of ours. 

Steven really hit it out of the park. The weekend was one of the most relaxing I've had in a long time. 

The weather cooperated. The coastal weather is always hit or miss around here. Its mostly cloudy and cool. This weekend the sun came out. Just enough that I got a bit of a tan.

Now, back to work.

We are at the ocean for a few days. The ocean isn't paradise here in the PNW, but it is peaceful.

At work my company has remodeled our building into 'open space' Its the first time in my career that I haven't had my own office.

To be honest, I like it. They didn't convert our office on the cheap. The building has lots of comfortable lounges. They've put white boards and large screen monitors everywhere. The working space its self isn't the greatest, but we all get to look out the huge, gorgeous windows.

Such is hi tech in Seattle. 

 

We are back. Jet lagged, but home.

 

The flight is a day long. Well, it's really a 4 hour flight, a 3 hour layover in Dubai and then a 15 hour flight.

 

I'm very glad I went. The experience was amazing. I am now very glad I'm home. There's no place like home as they say.

 

 

 

Traffic in Bangalore is a sight to behold. There are very few rules and almost no traffic enforcement. I think red lights are respected. Aside from that anything goes. The traffic flows like water with cars, pedestrians, bikes, motorcycles and auto-rickshaws all flowing between each other.

For pedestrians trying to cross the street, the secret is to just walk out and expect the cars to stop. Running or weaving between the cars is bad The drivers can't predict you. If you walk calmly in a straight line, then they can break or swerve.

Steven is getting good at this. The first evening we were here, when we wanted to cross the road, we waited a long time for a break in the traffic, then we dashed across. Now Steven just walks out when there is a little bit of a gap. The drivers adjust.

An Indian coworker informed me that only Bangalore works like this. In other cities that would get you run over.

While on the road one morning, we were talking with the driver about things to see. He pointed out a large market on the side of the highway and asked us if we wanted to see it. I think I said "That would be nice sometime." So the driver just stopped on the highway. He didn't pull over. He just stopped.

 

 

I remember years ago, a neighbor, who went to my church, toured India. He reported back that he was sick with the presence of Satan when he visited the temples.

 

I don't think it was Satan, but I know what was feeling. The heat, the exhaust, the floral smell (The flowers here have a very strong scent) and the jungle rot, can be noxious after a while. I must pace myself and drink plenty of water or I feel sick.

 

The temples are beautiful works of art. Long lines form for people to enter and commune with the local deity.

 

Steven and I didn't go into the temples. It feels disrespectful to be a tourist in another religions place of worship.