Not much going on. Tonight I went over to Sandy at Matt's just to chat. Steven was there-- he had dinner with them.

They have a salt water aquarium that they've been having problems with. About half a dozen nice fish just died. They think they've fixed the problem. Unfortunatly salt water fish are expenisve-- $50.00 to $100.00 a piece.

Matt dissed Zesty for keeping his journal on line. Steven and I exchanged knowing looks while Matt ranted about Zesty. Mind you Zesty's site is more out there than mine. Zesty hypes himself. Zesty bears all, shows photos and doesn't change names-- there are pics from when he and Sandy dated (Over a year ago).

At least half a dozen people have been through my house. Not bad for being on the market for 24 hours. We'll see if I get any offers. Right now it's supposed to be a buyers, so I'm not going to get my hopes up.

The agents have been leaving messages at my work number before they show the place. I didn't check my voice mail at work until about 11am. That's when i heard a couple of messages like "Hello. I'm Jane Doe with the real estate company. My client and I are going to be over between 11 and 11:30am to look at your property. If this is a problem please call me at...." I tried to quickly clean up my place and get out of the house, but the first agent arrived too soon. Oh well.

At about 4pm II took a nap. Another agent showed up at 4:15. When I heard the knocking, I jumped out of bed, got dressed and made the bed-- all in less time than it took for them to unlock the door and walk in. It's awkward seeing strangers peek around my house, so I went out for a short walk.

Last night I had dinner with c2 and the Man Bitches. At our company there is a Lesbian group manager who, over the years, has hired a number of gay men whom she keeps under her thumb. These men have started refering to them selves as the Man Btiches.

Had dinner last night with Sandy and Mat. We watched. One Hour Photo. Not bad, not great. Creapy.

I gave Mat and Sandy a gift for taking care of me the weekend I hurt my neck. I gave them a nice wood ceaser salad bowl. This is the first time in my life that I've given someone a spontaneous gift. I've given expected gifts at Christmas or on birthdays. But never because I like someone and wanted to say thank you.

My townhouse is now for sale. I have to keep it perpetually clean since I never know when someone will show up. I just got a call from an agent saying he will look at my house today. This is weird. Strangers in my house.

So dinner with Harry went well. I'm not sure what else to say. The important part isn't that we had dinner. The important part is yet to come-- will he stay in touch.

I also promised Tommyboy that I'd visit him in LA. Tommyboy kind of excites me. I don't know why I had dinner with Harry. Curiosity mostly.

After dinner I drove over to C2's for chat and snacks. I dropped off his refrigerator and bitched about it stinking up my truck. Last week he needed to move a small frige from work to home. His car was too small so we put it in my truck. I left the frige in the truck over night. The freezer water melted. For the past week my truck has smelt of freezer burn.

I also talked on the phone with Andy. I haven't talked with Andy for months. Things are going well with him. He's dumped his crystal-addict boy friend, but still lets him live with him. Their relationship has flip flopped. Before they were going steady, they would sleep together but not have sex. Now that they've split up, they have sex but don't sleep together.

This entry is very practical. This morning I saw two houses with my real estate agent. Here are the notes...

The first house was a log house. huge yard. On the plus side, it's beautiful and private. Great kitchen, very rustic. On the minus side it really only has one bedroom and no garage. I could put bedrooms in the basement, but they wouldn't have a lot of light. The current owners use the open loft as a bedroom, which is ok for kids, but if you want your privacy you are out of luck. The lawn (1 acre) might be a bit much to take care of.

The 2nd house has lots of rooms, a hot tub, a basket ball court, two living rooms, two fireplaces and 4 bedrooms. It's more dated-- late 70's early 80's. It needs several minor renovations. Plus side-- very close to work. Much space, two car garage. There are so many rooms. I'd need much more furniture.

The 2nd house, in the master bath, has a large shower with two heads. The shower is surrounded by glass block. The Agent made a joke that Steven and Vic would love to mess around in the shower.

The 2nd house is more of a party house. I'm not sure if that's a good thing.

My heart wants the log house. My head says the 2nd house is a better investment.

Spring has arrived. The rain drops are now warm and big. Frogs have started singing. Trees are blooming.

Hmmm. I just got off the phone with Harry. We're having dinner on Wednesday. He sounds like he's doing good. I don't think he has a hidden agenda.

C6, DQ, a friend of theirs, Steven, Vic and I spent Saturday evening in Vancouver. We partied our brains out-- drank way too much. You've got a great city Michael!

I'm glad I did it, but won't do it again for months.

We started drinking at about 8pm. From then till 2am, my pint glass was never more than half empty. On top of that I had a number of shots.

We chatted and flirted and chased and danced. I walked around with my shirt off. I danced. I don't remember how long it's been since I did that.

At about 2am, Steven, Vic and I left the rest of the guys. We had went and ate at a little fast food joint called Fritz. What a great place. The music was good (It's a fast food restaurant!) and a couple of the customers were dancing. There poutine was great.

Walking along Grandville St at 2am is an experience. Grandville was hopping. Restaurants were open. People were everywhere. I wish Seattle had something like that.

The next morning we had breakfast at "The Elbow Room" I restaurant the specializes in good food, service, and insulting their customers. Our waiter, a sassy queen, pegged us as gay and insulted us accordingly. "Don't worry girls." he said. "I'll make sure you get out of here before the bathhouse rates go up."

I spend this evening with Steven, Sandy, Mat, John and Mac. We had dinner and watched "Six Feet Under." It's an ok show, but I'm not as into it as Mat or John. Still, I like spending time with the gang.

Last night I had dinner with Mac, John and C2.

Mac works at a health care center. He said the center just received its first case of SARS. Now one of their doctors is showing symptoms of SARS.

Worrysome.

What's the past up to?

Tonight, C2 and I saw The Core with the Movie Bears.. What a horrible movie. Fortunatly it's one of those bad movies that you can laugh at.

Afterwards, we went to the Cuff. I ran into Brian. He's in a good mood, but is up to something. I'm not sure what. He just earned his "Unusual Circumstances" Notary License from the state of Washington and he got his Bail Bond license from the State of Nevada. He's also put a down payment on a house in Los Vegas. He's not moving there, it's just an investment.

Part of me wants to know what he's up to. Part of me says "Stay clear!"

Brian is concerned that too many of my friends are fat. He wants to make sure that I stay thin and attractive and only date thin and attractive men. Anything else would be an insult to him.

So, Brian hasn't changed much.

When I got home I checked my email and found this from Harry...

> Hey Just a note to say hello.. How have you been?
> Are you seeing anyone? Whould you like to go out for
> a beer sometime.. Let me know.. Take care
>

Now, what's Harry up to? He hasn't talked to me since July.

The Apathetic Online Journal Entry Generator

I'm going to sell my townhouse and buy a whole house. I don't know how I arrived at that decision. Many little decisions colluded to make buying a house the right thing thing.

I'm using Steven's real estate agent. I'll probably use his mortgage broker as well.

Hmmm. It just occured to me that I used to say "I'm going to keep the townhouse until I get a steady boyfriend and then buy a house with him."

Saw The Pianist with Steven. It's a good movie, but very dark. It turns out Steven's a big ol' softie at heart. You could see it from his reactions to the Pianist.

Ha. He told me not to put that in the journal. But, I wanted to. It's something good to remember.

Afterwards we had beer and wings at Hooters. It was a quiet night. We chatted with the waitressess, talked about our future plans.

All in all, a good, quiet evening with a good friend.

I'm feeling a lot better today. I still can't turn all the way to the right, but the pain is mostly gone.

The Tease is living up to his nick name. The Tease and I took a road trip today-- to the Dungeness Spit. We hiked out about half way to the end of the spit, then we found some logs and took a nap between them. We started cuddling. And kissing. It was very nice.

Then it started raining, so we got up and headed back for the truck.

During the drive back, off and on, we held hands. Although, in hind site, it was more like me holding his hand when it just happened to be close to mine. We had dinner together when we got back. I invited him back to my place. The Tease said "No." He couldn't tonight.

I know I shouldn't chase the Tease. But part of me says "Why not?" It's not like there is another single, attractive man in my life that I should persue instead. For once I'd like to be persued by someone I find attractive and sane

Back to the road trip. It was a good day. I'd do it again..

I took friday off and slept. The drugs (Vicaden and Flexeril) really make me tired.

Friday night, Mat and Sandy picked me up. We had dinner with C2. Then I slept over at their place. I spend the day with Mat and Sandy.

I stopped taking the drugs on Saturday. But, it wasn't till Saturday afternoon that their effects wore off and I wolk up. Flexeril makes me constipated, so when it wore off I had to run to the bathroom a lot.

Saturday evening we had a white trash dinner party at Matt and Sandy's. We talked about the war and then we watched Sordid Lives. A black comedy about white trash. It was an ok movie.

After the party, the Tease drove me home. I toyed with inviting him in for a beer, but decided against it. Right now I only want to be with someone who wants to be with me. Plus, the Tease is becomming a friend. I don't want to wreck that.

I tore a ligament in my neck. It happened this morning while I was working out and got worse during the day. By late afternoon, I would have spazims that gave me a lot of pain.

I went to see a chiroprator at 4pm. He performed an adjustment, told me to ice it and to rest. This was the first time I went to a chiropractor.

I was supposed to have dinner with Mat and Sandy at 8pm. But, when we got to the restaurant the spazims became frequent and painfull. Mat and Sandy took me to a hospital. The doctor there ran some basic tests and shot me up with some drugs to relax me and help the pain. She said my spine was fine no ruptured disk, probably no pinched nerve. But the tendon was swollen.

I'm at home now. I'm going to rest and hope it gets better quickly.

Last night I had dinner with Steven. He regrets calling me up on the phone and telling me he found out about the journal. He wishes he toyed with me for a while.

We had dinner in old Bellevue, (if there is such a thing. Bellevue was built after 1970) In the 5.5 years I've lived in Seattle, I've never been to that area. There are a lot of cool restaurants there. We had dinner at Chantanee. It's supposed to be a great restaurant and the place was packed. It didn't turn out good for us. The lemon coconut soup was weak. Main course was good.

Steven got sick later on that night. I'm fine. It could just be something that's going around.

I'm done most of the hard work soldering on the pre-amp. I have to do some cleanup. Then test it.

On to what I'm actually doing today.

I'm playing hookey. I'm trying to finish off the pre-amp. It's hard. A big blob of solder accidentally shorted two finely placed wires. When I unsoldered the blob, the heat unsoldered the wires.

Soldering is like using fence posts for chop sticks. Frustrated, I went out and got a posible magnifying glass. The magnifying glass helps. Though, soldering is still like using fence posts for chopsticks, but now I can see!

Hey John. I'm not going to end this, though the tone may change now that people I know are reading. I've gone through a lot of the archives and there isn't a lot of incriminating evidence. Except for that one time Vic gave me a BJ in Steven's house while our friends ran interference.

Just kidding Steve.

Steven and the Sleuth (Vic's friend who first found these pages) have started sending me emails and using the pseudo-names, though they said they won't tell anyone else.

The Sleuth emailed this..

Hi man,
Hope your day goes well in Seattle. I’m the sleuth, who cracked the case of the pb. When I sent a few pages to Vic, he then decoded the identities of the innocent. Here is a copy of the page that triggered the initial CICS activities.I just read your recent entry about being busted. Hope we didn’t scare you too much. Sounds like Steven tormented you a bit about it. Please feel free to email anytime.

Take care eh,


Steven sent me this...

This is Stephen, your buddy you mention in your chronicles. It was only last night that you were busted by my friend we will call Sleuth in Victoria and my boy friend Vic. We were all a little surprised of what we found. We have all agreed that your chronicle is quite cool and we will not be disclosing information about such a place. I would have only loved to have been there when you were listening to me on the phone last night. WHY DIDNT I WAIT TO SEE YOUR FACE IN PERSON?
...

Barry, want to have dinner tonight? I think we should discuss your plan of action of what to do next. Do you pull it? Do you keep it? Lets talk about the consequences of this and if anyone else learns of your idenity!!! For now, I think you are safe. I personally would like to see you continue it. I have never seen you as that vulnerable but this shows you have substance to write down your thoughts and feelins whether anyone reading or your friends will agree is irrevelant. They are your thoughts and your feelings.

Your buddy,

Stephen

To the sleuth's in Victoria. Congratulations!

For the rest of you, I've been busted.

For the past 3 years I've kept this journal secret from my friends. Tonight that changed. Steven called me up and said "I'm laughing really hard and have to tell you something. Vic and his friend were searching the web for "PB" and this web site poped up."

Vic and Steven have read just about everything-- Steven mentioned entries that I wrote years ago. They've pieced together most of the names.

I don't know if I like this. I was sweating bullets while I was on the phone with Steven. Steven says he was impressed that I've been doing this for so long. Part of me wants to yank this off the web-- before someone else finds it.

I need to digest this. I'm going to start rereading most of my entries. Just to see how much dirt there is.