Wind and rain today. The gardener is having one last go at the back yard before winter sets in. We've removed the hanging plants. We've cleaned and refilled the hummingbird feeders-- some humming birds, Anna's, will stay here year around.

The state is locking things down again. Covid is spiking. We've started buying larger batches of grocers so we won't go to the store so often. H, our room mate, rushed to get one last workout in before her gym closed due to the lock down. 

The brother-in-law is sober now. Since he arrived, he's been sitting on the sofa. Sometimes watching TV. Mostly contemplating his life.

Why does he want to drink... why is he driven to drink, even when he is past the point where he has lost his job, where his drinking is causes serious health problems? Why does he need someone there to stop him from drinking more?

1. The brother-in-law got out of detox a few days and proceeded to start drinking again. Today he called the husband, asking for help.

The husband and H are responding to the call. They will pick up the brother in law and drive him back to our place.

I don't understand addiction. I've never had problems saying no to alcohol or drugs. And yet, I'm married to a man in AA. Many of my friends are also members. 

Perhaps I should attend Al Anon more regularly. 

2. The brother in law is here now. He is looking rough. He is drunk. 

 The time is going by. Work is intense by day.

Did I mention... the husband got a promotion. I'm happy for him. His work has ramped up as a result though. 

The brother in law is in a mental health center detoxing, being counseled. He is in good spirits and talks to the husband at least once a day. 

He seems to have these meltdowns every year or so. He has for as long as I've known him. It's my hope that this time he will be cured. Maybe we are expecting too much from him-- that this time he will stay sober. 

Maybe I have to accept that, from time to time, the brother in law will hit a low. All I can do is love him for who he is.

 

This pic was taken as the sun was rising. It gave everything a warm glow.

The night of the election I slept poorly. It talked to H about it. H is a friend who is a black woman. H said she slept well. Her opinion is that the election won't change things as much as I think. She is probably right. This is all a good reminder of the serenity prayer.

 1...

We are at peak fall now. The days are sunny. The leaves have changed colour and are starting to fall.

The brother in law has fallen off the wagon-- in a big way. The husband is struggling with this. He is angry at his brother and won't rescue him.

2...

The husband himself is doing well. He just got a great promotion at work. A new team and a substantial raise with it. 

3. Halloween was quiet. Two families dropped by. Last year over a dozen did. The city asked families to not trick or treat, so I'm not sure why these two families did.

We ate most of the Halloween candy. I loved it. 

3. The election... the election... will it be crazy. Will it be fine. Seattle has asked stores in protest zone to lock up well by end of business tomorrow. Some stores are boarding up.

The rest of Seattle... it's all good. We are having dinner with a few friends tomorrow to watch the results.

4. I just Ubered the Brother in Law to the hospital. He is unable to stop drinking. He asked the Husband for help. 

I had my first colonoscopy. It went well. Last week I had my eyes examined. The week before was my annual physical. I guess all my medical maintenance is done now. At least until next year. 

The weather has cooled off. I have much more energy at this time of the year. The cool is invigorating. As such I have started doing a two mile hikes on many mornings. During the week I have several morning meetings where I must pay attention but don't have to participate. I'll put my earbuds in and join the meeting on my cell phone. Then the dog and I will go for a nice hike. 

The husband is getting stir crazy and wants to travel. We have a couple of friends who have started traveling frequently. There are great deals right now. I am not as comfortable with flying as he is. But, I am also not going stir crazy. I wish he could find a great way to burn off his energy. 

The husband has been sober for six years. We celebrated yesterday. It was good to catch up with a couple of his AA friends. 

He takes his sobriety birthday very seriously. We got dress up. We want to a nice restaurant. 

I am happy for him. I am also lucky to have him. 

I am fasting this morning. I have a doctors appointment this afternoon. Nothing serious. I am just beginning the health checks for fifty year old's go through. They will do a blood test that requires a fast.

If you want to make time go slowly, fast and skip your morning coffee. I have become very productive to distract my self from the fast. 

 

Fall is here. As it happens every year, the spiders have returned. Or perhaps they never left. Whatever the truth is, spiders build large numbers webs in the fall in the Pacific North West. I am in our backyard reading and I count no less than six large webs around me, in the bushes, in the trees and on the deck.

I’m fine with them but they creep the husband and the roommate out. 

Spiders aside, I enjoy this weather. I can use a few hours of quiet contemplation. Spiders are good company.

The post man knocked on the door today. When I answered, he handed me my keys. Apparently I forgot them yesterday in the mailbox lock.

So lucky. I wasn't even aware that I lost my keys. 

 The someone got his tests back. He did not have coronavirus.

Fall has come quickly. It's windy out. It's raining. 

What is coronavirus exposure etiquette? The Husband was exposed to someone whose roommate tested positive for COVID.  The husband texted everyone he had recently been in contact with. On Friday, we should know if that someone tests positive for COVID.

I am personally not worried about being infected.

Things quiet down...

The rains have come and cleaned up the local forest fires. Our air is back to normal. I don't know if the same is true in Oregon and California.

My dad had his first knee surgery. It went well. I'll have his second in the coming months. I'm going to try and be there for him, though that means I will need to quarantine for a few weeks.

The husbands parents are doing well.

C2 was in town for the weekend. He too is moving his father to a retirement home. We talked about the challenges of aging parents. Of course he is facing it all with his typical grumpy/stoic attitude. 

Tommy commented... "I imagine it is worse, far worse than a lil hurricane...since it covers many miles in all directions and the Smell is ever present"

I'm not sure how to compare the smoke to a hurricane. The smoke won't damage your home. It's a slow, drawn out thing. For most of us, it's not life threatening. You just feel low energy all the time and develop a scratchy throat. 

A hurricane hits you hard. Then it's over and you can assess the damage and come up with a plan.

Next topic... I made vinegar. Back when we were in California, the father-in-law gave me a case of cheap wine. I didn't feel like drinking it, so I decided to make vinegar with it. It's not hard.

The first batch finished yesterday. And, it tastes like vinegar. Nothing special. Maybe a bit stronger than regular white wine vinegar.

I pickled a batch of green beans with it. We shall see how that turns out.

The smoke is crazy today. I lose my breath walking up a hill I could ordinarily jog up. I am looking forward to the rains.

 I spoke too soon about glorious weather. We had about a day of smoke from the fires in eastern Washington.

The brother-in-law has stopped his alcoholic bender. He is back to work. The husband spends a few evenings a week with him. It's good for both of them.

I've been planning out how to spend some time with my parents. Because they are in Canada, I will have to quarantine for 15 days before I can visit them as the law says you cant quarantine in a house with anyone over the age of 65. This means I will need to spend probably three weeks in Canada. Too long to take vacation. So I must work from Canada for a few weeks. 

I've found a place where I can stay for two weeks-- I have many friends in Ontario. Now I have to check in with the husband. I don't think he'll be able to work from remote from Canada for three weeks. 

Too much planning. 

I see the first hints of fall. The flowers are past their prime. Some of the trees are dry, leaves turning brown.

Our backyard has a bit of a natural sundial. The sun only clears the tallest trees during the longest days of summer. Now with the days growing shorter, our afternoon sunlight is filtered by leaves.

Still, the weather is glorious. Sunny. Warm. No hints of the Seattle rain just yet.

Sunday we arrived home. I felt my mood lift up as I got out of the car. In Sacramento the temperature was 100F. The air was thick with smoke from the fires. In the Pacific Northwest the air is clean and the temperature is around 72F. 

The husband is heading downtown to spend the afternoon with his brother. The brother is trying to stay sober and to keep things together. The husband desperately wants him to succeed. 

Of course the news and work is also weighing heavily on the husband. This morning he asked how I handled it? Do I just ignore it? I took a breath and responded "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change..."