The cat and the dog are adjusting to each other. They don't fight. They don't get along either.  The cat will growl at the dog from a distance. Hiss if the dog gets too close. Its not possible for them to pass by each other in the hall. They sit down and glare at each other.

Aside from that, it's going well. The cat is clean. He knows his litter box. He knows where his food is.

The dog stays out of the cat's food, though she will stare longingly at it from a distance.

I don't know how the cat was treated at RO's. Now he's very sedentary and solitary. They may just be par for the course for a ten your old cat. I bring him out and pet him. He will now come out of hiding when he sees me.

The dog… I don't know what the dog thinks. The dog just wants to play and play and play. Until she collapses from exhaustion. But, the cat, this thing that hisses at her, makes are a little wary. It's really the first time I've seen the dog just sit and stare at something.

 

 

Home…

 

 

The old house is messy. It looks neglected, but not damaged.
I brought the cat from my old house to the new townhouse. So far so good. The cat has used his litter box. The cat and the dog are mostly ignoring each other. I'm not sure the dog likes me paying attention to the cat. Promising start. We'll see how it goes over the next day or two.

Last night, for the first time in almost two years, I was at my house. Yo came with me to make sure there were no complications.

 

RO has left a lot of stuff behind. I'm not yet sure what his plans for it are. If I don't get a reasonable commitment from him, I'm going to throw it all out.

 

There is a fair amount of 'nice' stuff there. Old dish sets. Ornate candle sticks. Beaded jewelry. I almost feel bad for wanting to throw it out. At the same time, there are over a dozen ornate candle sticks there. I don't need them. It will take me too long to sell. Maybe I'll put all of this stuff up for free on Craigslist.

 

The house is a mess, but not damaged. It will be OK after I purge and clean it up.

 

RO left the cat at the house. He was very clear that I have to take over responsibility for the cat. I introduced my dog to the cat. They ignored each other. This is good.

 

RO texted and called me last night. He has not moved on. In fact, it was almost like it was the day after we broke up.

 

When he called, he just talked and sobbed and talked and sobbed. While he talked, I put my phone on 'speaker' and 'mute.' He went on for 25 minutes before he said good bye. He didn't ask questions. He didn't check that I was listening. He just vented. Strange. Am I complicit in his poor recovery by not giving him that feedback?

               

Steven flew to Toronto, and we spent a week hanging out with friends and seeing the sites. I greatly enjoyed myself. Steven too.

He was surprised by the size of the city. Toronto does sprawl. Seattle is pinched by the lakes and mountains so you can find the end of it. Toronto seems like it goes on forever.

We spent much time with my old friends. After almost 20 years in Seattle, many of my closest friends are still far away in Toronto.

The weather of course was cold in Toronto. And, weirdly, I started snoring there. I'm blaming the dry air and the hard bead. The snoring went away the day we returned to Seattle.

Last night we had dinner with Yo and the Angel. It was good to see them again. They also flew east to spend time with their families.

The new year has started. 2017. That's a big number. It was cold and snowy for the first week. Today its raining. The snow has washed away.

I haven't been paying as much attention to the News, Facebook and Twitter of late. I like it. It's so easily to get sucked into mindless novelty or drama. I hope I keep this habit up and use the time to stay in touch with friend s and to spend more time on things important to me. And no, reading someone's Facebook wall isn't keeping in touch with them.

We celebrated Allen's birthday Friday evening. He is part of the AA crowd. Afterwards, we went off to an AA meeting. At this meeting, an AlAnon meeting was being held in an adjacent room—AlAnon is the organization from friends and families of alcoholics. I attended that meeting. It was my second AlAnon meeting.

AlAnon meetings are very different than AA meetings. AlAnon meetings are attended by maybe half a dozen people. The AA meetings I've been to have easily had 50 to 100 people. Consequently, AlAnon is much more… intimate. You get to know everyone. You will see them next week.

I don't know if AlAnon or AA is more me. I have no disagreement with their goals or materials, I just don't hear my kind of stories there. Hearing my kind of story—I think that's AA speak. I am picking up on the AA vocabulary. From what I've observed from my AA friends, AA phrases start creeping into your daily life. They do have good ways of pointing out common problems. These phrases make it easy for AA members to spot each other when they meet.

And no, I don't think AA is a cult.

Steven has flown off to the East cost for work. He started a new job and is being trained this week. He's nervous, but he'll do well.

Merry Christmas all.

I went to my childhood church this morning. I ran into a few others who make their annual pilgrimage up to this neck of the wood. The church, the whole region really, is dying of old age. Most of the youngsters move else where for jobs and other opportunities.

We spent the afternoon with by brother and a cousin who is wheel chair bound. A few months ago my brother moved in with a new woman. My mother has been over to visit a few times. But, apparently she never remembers that my brother is living with someone new. So there is always a little shock at the beginning when she puts two and two together again.

Father leverages this trick. If he and mom argue on a topic, he'll let it rest for a spell. Then he'll bring the topic up a different way. The second time around mom may be more receptive. He is not malicious with this. Just a little tricky.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Home…

I've traveled to home to my parents for the holidays. It's a different world here. I like it. I like visiting here from time to time.

This really is the kind of place where people don't lock their doors. Where they leave their keys in their cars. Everyone stays in touch and keeps an eye out. Of course this means that everyone knows your comings and goings, but I digress…

My dad is going deaf. My mom is suffering from a bit of memory loss. When they talk they really have to take care that they understand and are understood least the conversation hop of the rails. Fortunately,  after fifty years of marriage, they are both up to the task.

Mom's memory loss bugs me. She is otherwise so healthy. Dad takes constantly watches over her. She gets lost so easily. She shuts down when anxious. She asks the same questions over and over again. My dad is so patient to help her though all of this.

What bugs me most about mom's situation is that if I take my flaws and quirks and exaggerate them to unhealthy levels, then I start to look like mom.

I also chatted with my aunt today. She's in a nice retirement home. Half of the retirement home has a view of the river. The other half has a view of the village. She was wondering if she should pay an extra $75 to get a view of the river. After she looked, her conclusion was that the river is boring. To quiet. She'd rather see people and cars coming and going.

Had lunch at the schnitzel place. As always, it was good.

One thing I like about Canada that they don't yet half is the States is portable credit card machines. When you want to pay, the waitress brings a little machine to you. You run your card though it and pay right there. Your card never leaves your hand. I see these all over the place around here.

Another cousin, his wife and family dropped by in the afternoon to wish us Merry Christmas and Happy New Years. Pleasant chat.

Am on my way home for the holidays. The trip has started off surprisingly well. I flew through the lines at the airport in record time.

 

It is the holiday season. So many parties. We were at four this past weekend. I'm actually having problems remembering them all.

There was dinner at Palermo with Steven's step daughter.

Then there did we go? I'm surprised I forgot.  It was Henkie's 50^th birthday party. Henkie is interesting character. She's a beautiful woman who married rich. Her friends are largely the same. As a testament to her character though, she keeps in touch with her pre-rich friends and treats everyone wonderfully.

Sunday, there was the holiday open house on Whidbey island. Whidbey Island is a wonderful place. Steven and I talked about retiring there.

Sunday evening was Bay's birthday party at Purple.

So much food. I've gained five pounds.

 

Sometimes when I write, so much pointless snark and gotcha comes out. I end up with this conflict between my thoughts and feelings in the moment, and the kind of person I want to be. I suppose this is an age old problem.

 

One day it's Trump. The next it's work. Or my Ex. The list goes on.

 

My Ex is almost out of my house. He has a new place to live. He is having problems affording the move. I offered to pay for moves.

 

My Ex is still heart broken. He is exhausted. He works way too much for too little return. He is a big dreamer who has seen his dreams collapse. There is sticking with it through adversity. And then there is ignoring reality and refusing to pick up the pieces to start over again. He is in the later state.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Steven has started a new job. This week he is on the east cost for training.

 

 

Some selected text messages from him…

 

"First day… OMG! The passwords! The passwords!"

 

"my company owns a winery!"

 

"my company just announced a major reorganization. Oh boy! Not sure I will have the same manager or team."

 

 

 

 

 

The snow has come. The rain has washed the snow away. Just another December in the PNW.

 

Lots of little stresses going around. Soon RO will leave my house. I'm giving him to the end of the year, then I evict.

 

At work there has been a lot of churn. On the plus side, I get to hire people and build the team I want.

 

Christmas is coming. Steven is flying up to TO with me. This is different RO never left the states, never met my friends in Cananda. Steven can't wait to do it. He loves to travel, to meet new people.

 

 

Thanksgiving… Had dinner with a few of Steven's AA buddies. It was a pleasant evening. SB roasted a wonderful turkey that needed an hour longer in the oven than planned. No worries as the company was nice, in the usual AA way.

 

The AA crowd has it's own special way. Half of them are borderline crazy. The other half can talk them back from the ledge. Perhaps they all switch rolls from time to time. It's interesting to watch.

 

The first snow has hit the mountains. Thanks to the summer heat and last winters drought, most mountains have been bare all summer. But now their peaks are turning white.

 

My ex. The end of my old relationship is not yet complete as my ex still lives in my house. I am in the process of evicting him. This is a far more complicated process than I had imagined. Everything in the legal system seems to be that way.

 

I can look on a web site and see the status of the case. Very hi-tech. It says that he has ben served. But, his quiet. I wonder what he is up to.

"writing has a warming quality for the Soul" Well said Tommy…

 

Years ago I read "Colin Powell with Tony Koltz. It worked for me. In Life and Leadership" I wrote down some quotes to remember. They apply today. Some of them make me smile.

 

It ain't as bad as you think, it will look better in the morning.

Get mad, then get over it.

Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with it.

It can be done. Presume things can be done until the facts and analysis pile up against it.

Be careful what you choose, you may get it.

Don't let adverse facts stand in the way of a good decision.,

You can't make someone else's choices. Don't let someone else make yours.

Check small things.

Share credit.

Remain calm. Be kind.

Have a vision. Be demanding.

Don't take counsel of your fears or naysayers,.

Perpetual optimism is  force multiplier

 

 

I'm still processing the election. So much turmoil. In the process I've cut my self off most social media. I'm playing games on my phone instead of polling twitter and facebook.

 

The upside of this is that perhaps I will write more.

 

 

 

FW:

 

Happy Birthday Blog. This blog is now 16 years old.

 

 

 

The dog learnt the sound of the pill bottle. She runs when you pop the lid of the bottle. She is not too sick, just a little giardia. But still, she learnt the sound of the pill bottle. We compensated by leaving the top off the pill bottle.

 

Then the dog learnt the sound of the drawer where we kept the pills. She runs when you open that drawer.

 

She is too smart.

 

 

Trump 2…

So it's to be scorched earth then. This will be interesting.

I wonder about the people who aggressively defend Trump to the end. They are fun to watch on the news. I know a few people-in-person who are the same way, so I can't write them off as paid shills. Every bit of bad news is further evidence of collusion with Hillary. How do they process the revolt from within the GOP?

Of course it's easy for me to point fault here. What are my biases? I certainly acknowledge that Hillary has a past. She has been responsible for more than her fair share of slim and gunk. Am I enraged enough?

So many things to rant about…

 

Trump!

 

Trump makes me angry. There is a need for a conservative-thoughtful, conservative–careful, conservative-respectful voice in this country.  Trump is not that man. Even worse he has hijacked the "Conservative" conversation to the point where its now poison. Far right Christian organizations are now distastefully, painfully, endorsing Trump. That's going to damage their credibility for years.

 

Basically the whole political process in the US is going to shift to the left this election for very unhealthy, unbalanced reasons.

 

Don't get me wrong, as a gay Canadian, descendant of  Dutch parents I am about as left as it gets in America. I am also very pragmatic and try to be balanced. I would like people to vote left-of-center because they believe that is their best option. Not because the alternative is to vote for a train wreck. When Hillary wins, she is going to end up leading a population where one third (or more) of the population were ripped off by Trumps failure to be an effective leader. Their voice has not been herd. Center-Right policies are not being discussed. Much of the center right will be as angry as a hive of wasps.