We met the hotel owner the next day and told him our experience. He was very gracious and made things right. He gave us a tour of the rest of the hotel—it's going through a remodel. Our wing hadn't been touched yet. The rest of the hotel was very nice. Clean. Fun.

 

It seems that when you use one of those book-cheap-last-minute sites, owners push you into the least desirable rooms. They know you won't be back. You are only there for the price.

 

We are in Florence OR today. Beautiful here.

The Tillamook dairy factory is a huge tourist attractions. There are hundreds of people here eating cheese and ice cream.

We didn't see this sign until checking out.

There are dozens of flies in the front lobby. The air smells of fish. There is a fish processing plant next to us. Not good.

Steven and I are on a road trip. His first vacation in a long time. We made it to Astoria Oregon on our first night. 

We found the hotel on the internet using a last minute booking site. It was expensive. Its on the waterfront. What was there not to like?

Steven says the place looks cracky. The room next to us has barking dogs. The room smells musty. The bed looks clean though. I don't think it's been painted since the 70s. 

Do I sound entitled? Through this election process I've become very aware of how well off  I am. How good globalization had been for me. And how many people are not in the same boat. I could see how someone would think I'm spoiled.

Still, I will be more selective of the hotel tonight.

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The weather here has been pleasant. Not too hot this summer. Low 70's in the day. Cool overnight.

Had a wonderful weekend catching up to old friends. We've had a few old drama's that have been bugging us for months. They were resolved at one of the BBQ's.

C2 and QJ used to be close friends of Steven. They've been more distant since he moved back to Seattle. Invitations were never followed through on. At the BBQ, QJ realized he had the wrong number in his phone. Simple problem. Simple solution.

 

 

Of course things would get more complicated. As the time gets closer for RO to get out of the house, he finds many reasons he can't. move. His credit isn't good. The market is too hot. No one will take a man without… blah blah blah.

 

The latter half of June has been quiet. I've sent my first payment off to my ex and his lawyer. The next step is that he moves out of the house. I get to change the locks on August 1.

Things are on the up with C2. He's stuck at a job he hates. He is staying there because it will get him a Top Secret clearance in a few months. The jobs he really wants need Top Secret clearances.

Now that we are settling in, Steven and I have joined a local gym. We have yet to go but the that's in the works.

More generally, I think Steven and I have to plan ahead a little more. Our jobs can be very long and stressful, so it easy to get into a rut where we do nothing but work, eat and sleep. It wouldn't take that much more to say "Let's go to the gym Tuesday evening." Lets meet up with a friend on Thursday." The time will fly by wither we plan for it or not.  

 

 

Steven has a dog. He loves that dog. She is very cute. I regularly take her out for runs and hikes..

 

Sometimes I let her off leash when I hike on the trails behind our house. I know I shouldn't, but she likes it and she gets so much extra exercise. As I'm walking along the trail, she'll run a little a head of me, then run back, then run ahead, then run back.

 

Last weekend while I was hiking with her, something spooked her—a group of trail runners behind us talking, making noise.  She sprinted ahead of me and vanished. That shouldn't have been a problem. She usually waits when she gets too far ahead of me.

 

Not this time. She wasn't there when I got to the fork in the trail.

 

I hung around the fork for a few minutes, calling her name.

 

Then I started running up and down the branches of the fork. Calling her name.

 

I ran back to the fork, then ran farther down each of the forks.

 

Every time I ran into someone on the trail. I asked them if they had seen a dog. I asked them to keep there eyes open and gave them my cell #.

 

After 45 minutes of this, I finally worked up the courage to call Steven and tell him what happened.

 

He was shocked and angry with me. We came up with a plan that he would start walking the trail close to our house going east. I would cover it from the west.

 

When he opened the front door, there she was sitting on the front porch. Her paws were dirty and she was covered with burrs. But she was fine.

 

For my punishment, I had to taker her to a groomer. The groomer did a good job. The dog is all pretty again.

 

Later on I saw on the local Internet Message board…

Saw a white lab with a blue/green collar running around off leash on Shangri La way. The dog came running down Shangri La and took a right on Talus drive. She was too fast for me to catch her. I waited for a few minutes to see if the owner was around but no one turned up. Hope the puppy finds the way back home

 

I am so happy, and a little surprised, that the dog knows her way back home.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We moved last Saturday and have spent the last two days unpacking and organizing. There is still much work to be done, but the place is starting to be a home. 

We still don't have laundry or cable/internet. Those should be done today.

The new place is nice. Since we own it rather than rent, I'm a little more careful. I close drawers, doors and cabinets gently with the handles instead of giving them a quick shove. I clean up after myself a little more often. U hope these new habits stick.

Mediation went well. We reached an agreement.

 

My lawyer started off the morning warning me that since this was only a half day mediation, there may only be enough time to bring the mediator up to speed on the details of our dispute and to establish a framework for resolving it.

 

Things started off wrong. The mediator moved four months ago and google brought up his old address. Fortunately the mediator only moved one block and we were able to walk over.

 

The mediator told me he was running this session "Henry Kissinger" style. RO and his lawyer were in different rooms than my lawyer and I. The mediator would talk to me and my lawyer for bit, then go and talk to RO and his. After a few rounds of this, it became clear that there was one big factual dispute between us. RO thought I had much more money than I actually do. When I produced the paperwork showing otherwise, my lawyer, RO's lawyer and the mediator left for a chat. When they returned, the mediation became very productive.

 

Rather than ending after a half day, all the lawyers agreed to spend a few extra hours to finish the process.

 

We had to go back and forth a few times about the final dollar amount. As my lawyer said, we had to balance two things, we want the dollars I'm paying RO to be low. We also have to offer a number high enough to show we are taking the process seriously. "You have to hang the meat low enough that the dog will try to jump."

 

RO and his lawyer accepted our final offer.

 

I'm glad the mediation is now over. It's a little more lucrative for RO than I would have liked, but I'll get over it.

 

We still have to execute on the agreement. That will be so much more easy than the endless waiting that's happened for the past year.

Its difficult to gather all the paperwork and statements for the mediation. Most of the interesting stuff is 10 years old and long since discarded it. The banks have some records. Not as much as I had hoped.

I make calls to get copies. The lawyer charges me a small fortune to check up on me. To make sure I do track down the statements.

Other things are afoot. My brother left his wife. He packed a bag and left. Much like I did. I wonder if that's the right way to end a relationship. It is if you are tired of not being heard. Sometimes if you are not heard it means that you have not spoke up. Did I speak up enough? Did my brother? Did I (he?) use the relationship to hide other feeling?

I know that I am not good alone. I have more energy and focus around good people. In hindsight I think I chose RO because I was sexually attracted to him and because I could get energy from being around him. Those are good, but they are not a reason to stay with someone.

The separation continues. We finally have a date for mediation scheduled. I'm scrambling to collect the last 12 years worth of statements.  My lawyer has warned me that owing to the messy state of things, it's probably in my best interest to offer RO a little more cash. A trial will be expensive.

 

Moving continues as well. We move at the end of May. Honestly, I'd love to move now. I hate this waiting.

 

 

 

Move to the country and plant an organic garden.

 

I think about living that way sometimes. Life would be so much more simple if I wanted that. Tommy, I suspect that you too feel the same way. You can live well and simply if you choose to.  But the call of opportunity, or duty, or leadership, or friendship sets you on a different path.

We have bought a house. It's a town house. The construction is not yet complete. We've been visiting it most weekends-- watching the progress. I really like the new neighborhood. It's right on a large state park and a five minute drive to some great shopping and restaurants. The new place should take five minutes off my commute.

 

The house hunt.

 

The lease ends at the start of May, so the house hunt is on.

 

Real-estate is crazy in Seattle. Last weekend Steven put an offer in on a $500,000.00 house.

 

Let me tell you, a $500,000 house in Seattle doesn't get you much. This house was nice, but small. Built in the 1940's. Three bedrooms. Well taken care of.

 

The house was on the market for one week. Steven put an offer in for $560,000.00.

 

The owners received nine offers. The winning offer was over $600,000.00

 

This is not uncommon. It's the way things are now.

 

Our hunt goes on.

 

Was up at Orcas island for the weekend. It is lovely. A little world of it's own.

 

The island has developed it's own hipster foodie culture. Every restaurant made it's own bread and had the bulk of it's food grown on the island. It got a little tiring after a while. Sometimes you want a regular pizza. The pizza created with love by a James Beard award wining chef is very nice, but a pizza peperoni and mozzarella would do.

 

The first night we ate at the Doe Bay Café. It was close to the rental house. It was recommended.

 

When we got there, the menu was vegetarian and sea food. And expensive. I wanted to leave. Steven suggested we try a few of the starter dishes just to quell our hunger.

 

Those starter dishes were amazing. We stayed for the whole meal. Ever dish was beautiful. Everything tasted wonderful.

 

Saturday afternoon we listened to the Rosario organ… 100 years ago a ship building magnate built his retirement home on Orcas island. A very large room in the house has a huge pipe organ with thousands of pipes. Now that this house is a resort, the Organ is on display to the public and played regularly.

 

We… we… We… I keep saying we.  Steven and I are dating. I like it. I'm looking forward to more. We are both working professionals. We have been friends for years. It's very nice.

We had a special evening of music on the top of the Smith Tower.

The Smith Tower is the oldest high rise in Seattle. It was built a little over one hundred years ago. Mostly it is full of businesses.

But, see the pyramid at the top? A woman named Petra lives there. She lives there with her two children.

Every now and then Petra hosts a musical session in penthouse on the top of the Smith Tower and we got tickets. The music was wonderful.

The other cool part of the evening was that you got to climb up to the very top of the Smith Tower, right into the bulb that sits on top.

I'm struggling a little with the blog. With my separation and the associated legal complications, it's not smart thing for me to publicly comment on my life's details.  Still, I'm going to continue the blog. In some ways, this has become my photo album. I don't want to stop it. At the beginning of every month I skim that month from the previous years.

 

Thanksgiving was good. Stephen and I spent it at the top of a condo on capital hill. The day was sunny and bright. The condo room had a great view. About forty people attended it, pot luck style. Lots of turkey. Too many desserts. They way a good Thanksgiving dinner should be.

 

I've booked the last three weeks of the year off on vacation. My boss noticed that I hadn't used my vacation balance. He told me that this was poor planning on my part. Leadership must plan to use the available resources.

 

So, I'm in Hawaii now. Waikiki to be precise. The weather is glorious here.

 

The trip was a freebie. Steven is a regional manager with people who work in Hawaii. A couple times a year he fly's here to spend a week with them.

 

I've been in Waikiki once before. I think it was in 1995. Twenty years ago. Mostly I don't remember that trip. Every now and then I get little flash backs. I remembered the hotel I stayed at when we walked by it.

 

I hiked up Diamond head Crater. I did this 20 years ago. I forgot most of the details. I did remember the long stair case at the end. It has 40 non-stop steps.

 

The sun is hard on people here. The homeless in particular. Though, I guess there are worse things than being homeless in Hawaii. You could be homeless in Seattle for example.

 

I haven't talked to Bruce in years. We used to work for the same company. He left for some reason. He and his partner, C3, moved to the east coast.

 

Out of the blue, today, I get a message from C3…

 

"I got a call the other day from the Police that Bruce had killed himself. Am just getting my brain back and figured you would want to know.   He was really happy with all you guys and i begged him to go back to Seattle to be among his friends. But he couldn't do it. Dunno why really.  But he really loved you as a friend. C3."

 

I let C2 know. Bruce introduced C2 and I. He, as I, is saddened by this.

 

 

 

 

Fall is setting in. It's cool. It rains every day. The Seattle gloom is here.
 
My life is quiet. I'm working a lot. Probably not taking enough vacation.
 
Steven's life is stressful. His father isn't doing so well though. His father has decided wants to die, sooner rather than later. He has COPD. He is CHF. To further this, he has stopped taking all meds except his comfort meds.
 
Comfort meds. That's a new phrase I had not heard before.
 
The thing is, now that he's off almost everything but morphine, is that he feels much better.  It's occurred to him that he may live for months instead of dying in the next few days.  Or is that the morphine talking?
 
 
 
 

It's October 12 today. That means this blog is 15 years old. Happy birthday blog. It's fun and strange looking over the first entries. I lived fairly different life back then.

My separation from RO is proceeding. We both agree that seeing a mediator won't be a good use of our time, so I'm going with petitioning the court for dissolution. It was a little under a year ago that I left RO. It's time to finish off the legal parts of our relationship. I'm surprised how long this has taken. So are my friends.