The conversation took a turn when the grandfather revealed he has colon cancer. He had a softball-sized tumor and a length of his colon removed. He is not going to follow up with the recommended chemotherapy. His health has been a battle for the past decade, he said, and he just doesn't have it in him anymore.
Over the course of the festivities, we had follow-up conversations with his wife and daughter. They both want him to fight, to spend more time with him. They see his choice as a kind of surrender or selfishness.
It's a complicated decision. He's been in pain for years, but he’s also always been so mentally present—a loving and engaged grandfather. I’d like to think I’d fight for more life, but I don't know who I'd become should pain take over.
Sunday morning, my husband flew out for work, so I went for a long bike ride. Afterward, I dropped by C2's place to help him with some gardening.
C2 has befriended the city employee who manages the park across the street and has volunteered to tend the gardens nearest his house. The city has been helpful, giving C2 plants and mulch. It’s a nice arrangement with a bit of controversy. The park has a rat problem. Some locals see the rats as a sort of symbol for the downtrodden, Others-- including C2-- see them as a public health issue. C2's goal is to make his small corner of the park cleaner and less rodent-friendly.
PS.. C2 is now sending me such exciting texts as "Want to come over and help spread mulch? All the cool kids are doing it." and "I'll buy dinner if you help me spread mulch."
1 comment:
At least he is doing something productive and helping the neighborhood.. I would spread mulch for him too.
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