I Expected It To Not Have Pieces

For years, the ashes of my husband's brother and father have sat in boxes in our closet. While I'm uncertain of why we kept his brother's ashes for so long, my husband's father died during the Covid lockdown, preventing us from holding a proper funeral.

Recently, my husband's niece was in town for a visit. This was a rare occasion- the first time in years that my husband's entire family was in the same city. Seizing this moment, they decided to fulfill the long-delayed task of spreading the ashes of both my husband's father and brother.

My husband's niece bought a small urn to keep a some of her father's ashes. As she and my husband carefully transferred some ashes, she suddenly exclaimed, "I expected it to not have pieces." Her words brought the reality of the situation into focus, stirring emotions amongst the two. 

Deciding where to spread the ashes sparked lengthy discussions. My husband's father had expressed only one wish: that his ashes were to be scattered in the Sierra Nevadas. However, we faced practical challenges. My husband's mother, being disabled, can't travel or walk long distances. Instead of the Sierras, we settled on a public park atop of a local mountain in Seattle's eastern suburbs.

Sunday morning, my husband's family gathered at our home for breakfast, a moment of togetherness before the solemn task ahead. We then drove to the chosen location.

We were high enough up the mountain that clouds shrouded the park. Even though there were a few hikers, we managed to find a quiet spot. Each family member shared personal stories and heartfelt words. Finally, when the hikers were gone and we were alone, my husband stepped forward and poured the ashes over a cliff edge. With heavy hearts but a sense of fulfillment, we said our final goodbyes and made our way back home.