Here are the photos.

C2 and took the pictures from our weekend trip, and put them on the web. We're trying to goad other people into doing things with us. Hopefully the pictures will help.

I worked late last night. I'm working on a Help Wizard for the next version of our product. It's really boring and I'm having motivation problems.

Last night at the Cuff I ran into Brian, my ex.

His life is still as complicated as ever-- he's involved with two or three lawsuits and is still unemployed.

He said on a typical day he get's up at about 10am and goes to the gym for a couple of hours. By the time he returns, he has several messages from different lawyers or arbitration judges asking him questions and wanting him to call back. Then he spends the afternoon returning the calls.

He just beat another charge. A few months ago, at 6am, after an all night party, he dropped a friend off in a bus zone because the friend needed to use the bus. A police officer pulled Brian over and tried to get him to take a field sobriety test and a breathalyzer. Brian refused.

They tried to put Brian in jail, but they couldn't because he hadn't done anything wrong.

At the trial, since Brian wasn't pulled over with probable cause, he was found not guilty. Brian said the prosecutor was livid. When the judge threw out the bulk of the evidence, the prosecutor threw his papers up in the air and shouted "Why don't we give Mr Brian everything he wants."

I am so over Brian. He's still cute, and I feel an attraction when I first see him. But after talking to him, it always goes away. I want to live a nice quiet life.

I had a busy weekend. Saturday C2 and I went camping.

First we drove to Ross lake and hiked around the Ross lake dam.

Next we drove to the memorial for the 30 mile fire. Last year there was a large forest fire by Winthrope. 4 people died in it. We went to their memorial. It's a very sad story. The people were only a few hundred feet from a river, but couldn't get to it because of the smoke and fire.

We spent the night at Lake Alta State Park

Sunday we drove around Lake Chelan. There is another forest fire near Chelan-- The deer plains fire. We tried to get to it, but couln't. We could see the smoke over the mountains, but all routes to it are blocked off.

We stopped off at the Chelan Falls Park. There was no one there, so I went skinny dipping. It was fun. The water was beautiful. I couldn't convice C2 to get in.

We drove back to Seattle in early afternoon. Where it was sunny and warm around Lake Chelan, it was cool and raining in Seattle.

Our team at work saw "Austin Powers in Goldmember" on Friday. I have mixed feelings about this movie. Some parts of it were very very funny. Some parts of it were very very stale. I give it 6 out of 10. Worth a manitee-- just to see the subtitles joke and the peeing statue joke.

Oh yeah, we finally get to see the "sharks with frik'n laser beams."

Had dinner with C2, J, Mathew and Mathew's ex. It was good. Judging from the way Mathew and his ex were talking, I don't think they will be getting back together.

We went to the cuff afterwards. Two guys from Dallas wanted to have a threesome with me. I said no.

Afterwards I went to the Eagle. They've remodeled. I'm not sure I like it better.

On the way home the moon was bright. I stopped off at Lake Samamish to take pictures of the moon reflecting on the lake. I think I got a few good ones.

I Thursday I had lunch with Bruce and C2. C2 and I have decided to see the lake Chilan Fires this weekend.

Thursday afternoon I had a meeting with the Korea.com people. It was weird, the Korea.com people don't speak English so all the conversation had to go through a translator. One of the Koreans had this bad habit of saying "Yes" every time an English speaker paused. It made it look like he understood what we were saying, but he didn't.

Thursday night Cor and I watched Black Hawk Down on DVD. It's a good war movie.

Cor is away for a couple of weeks. He's going to Miami for work, and to close his house.

Played hockey last night. We list 8 to 4. Oddly enough it was the best game we played all summer.

The team is offically falling apart. At least 3 guys have said they won't be returning in the fall. Most of the rest are non-commital.

Last night I had dinner with Mathew. Went to the Foghorn. Good food.

Afterwards we took a walk along the Lk Washington waterfront. The weather was beautiful and warm Some people were swimming. Two women, fully clothed, jumped into the lake.

Next week, Mat and I are going to have dinner along Lk Washington again. We are going to bring our swimming trunks, so we can go swimming afterwards.

Things are going ok with Mathew-- just the usual amount of drama. He's decided to quit his job. He's moving out of his parents house. His reconciliation with his BF is going a bit bumpy. Right now the BF wants to be able to see other men. Mat is almost willing to concede him that only because he knows that the BF will never sleep around.

Sigh. I have crabs. Well, hopefully that's now past tense.

I noticed that I was itching. I looked around my body and found a few of the beasts. I ran out to the drugstore and bought a bottle of Rid. That's embarrassing.

To try and hide my purpose, to dilute the embarrassment, I also bought about a dozen other things-- recordable CD's toilet cleaner, batteries and scrub pads. I was trying to send out the signal "I need many things. Oh, a bottle of Rid would be good to have on hand. For an emergency. Not that I need it now"

Why do all the anti-crab/lice medications have "Lice" printed on them in large words. It just makes it worse.

At the checkout, the clerk fumbled with the bottle of Rid for a few seconds . I made sure I didn't touch him when I picked up my bag. Not that crabs are transmitted that way. I didn't want to worry him.

Afterwards I covered myself head to toe with Rid and did lots of laundry. I'm glad that Cor is away on business.

I get to do it all again in seven days.

I wonder who gave these to me? Allan is the obvious culprit. But, I'm a fairly hairy man. I could have picked them up from a public toilet. In which case, I may have given them to Allan. Hmmm. Do I call him and tell him?

Sigh.

Sunday, C2 and I went to "Wild Waves" a water and amusent park south of Seatte. We had a lot of fun. Some of the lineups were long, I think we went on as many waterslides after 5pm as before 5pm, thanks to the shortened lines.

We also went on a roller coaster. The over-the-shoulder-safety-bar was an inch to low for me, so I was very uncomfortable. The actual ride was fun.

After the Wilde Waves, C2 and I had dinner at Siams and then read "Savage Love" This weeks column was about sex and siblings-- incest, dating the sister of a good friend, catching your brother beating off. I'm sure Dan Savage makes Ann Lander's roll in her grave...

Allan came over Friday night. The three of us (Cor, Allan and I) went to see Eight Legged Freaks a good monster movie.

Allan spent the night. It was nice.

I think Cor went out. Allan and I wolk up the next morning at 8am. Cor was gone.

At lunch, Allan went to a rugby pratice at a park near here. I worked out, and then watched the last half of the pratice. Rugby looks fun.

One sour note. Something happened during the scrimage at the end of the practice. The coach and Allan got into an argument. After the scimage we were supposed to go to a BBQ with the rest of the rugby team, but Allan said he was in a bad mood, and wanted to be alone for a while. So, I said goodbye.

Later on, I got an email from him apologizing for mood.

In the evening, I went over to Bruce's and watched Amélie with him. This is the 3rd time I've seen Amélie and I still like it. Bruce and I talked about the rugby BBQ. Bruce has signed up for the rubgy team, so he went to the BBQ for a while. He said that there were naked men in the hot tub and he asked me why I didn't go.

I don't know what I'm going to do with Allan. I'll take it slow and see what happens. Already I'm in a "Whatever" sort of mood with him.

Had dinner with Mathew. We went to the Captial Club. Great food, a bit overpriced.

Afterwards we went up the Cuff. It was the birthday of a friend of Mathew. The lolipop guild was there (4 bears who are all 5'6'') Behind their backs, Mathew started making pigmy jokes... "I keep expecting one of them to haul out a blow-dart, and shoot me!" Mathew can be very mean. He's not like that when he's alone with me, but when he get's going with his friends-- watch out. I wonder what he says about me behind my back.

Played hockey tonight. We lost 5-3. The team is starting to fall apart. At the end of the game, one of our players got in a fight with the ref and earned a game suspension. Later on he resigned from the team. Another player bitched the first out for not controlling his temper. It's one thing to be angry. It's another to whup-ass on the refs.

Allan watched the hockey game. He said he enjoyed it. Afterwards we had dinner at Rock Bottom and talked about hockey and rugby. He plays rugby, and wants me to join the team. It's a big commitment. Games or practices are every Saturday plus one weeknight. On top of that many of the regular games are in Oregon or Idaho-- this makes it a weekend commitment just to play a game of rugby.

There is some kind of commotion outside my house. There is a large water-shed just to the south. About 10 cop cars have surrounded the water-shed, and a helicoptor with a spotlight is above. I don't see anything in the news. I'll look again tomorrow.

"Dates"

I had lunch with C5 today. I have a bit of a crush on C5 but he's seeing someone. I try to play it cool. But still, I approach it like a date. I make sure I dress attractive, I find a cool restaurant to go to and I spend a few minutes before hand recalling interesting stories to talk about.

I got this back from him...

> Barry,
> Thanks for a great break from work today. I always enjoy talking to you. Let's try to make our lunch "dates" more often.
> Later,
> C

The down side of having a crush on someone is that I can't take what they say at face value. I have to analyze it and pick at the words. Why did he put "dates" in quotes? Did he want to make sure I interpreted "lunch dates" as "lunch friendship-dates" by stressing the "dates" part, or did he want me to interpret "lunch dates" as "lunch romantic-dates" by stressing the "dates" part. Or am I being obsessive, and he being coy?

Sunday morning I had breakfast with C2 at Glo's in Seattle. We talked about money he felt me out about how much I had. He's been playing the stock market. A few weeks ago he was up tens of thousands of dollars. Now he's lost it all.

I didn't do much Sunday afternoon. Sunday evening I had a date with Allan. It went ok. Allan is an attractive, fairly interesting man. He's an muscian, opera singer and music teacher. Right now he doesn't have a full time job. He said he's got enough money to last till February.

He lives in a small studio aparment with a room mate. My bedroom is larger than their whole aparment. I didn't tell him that.

I spent Friday night and most of Saturday in Olympia at a work-friends place. He and his brother inherited a large house on Ward Lake. His brother is a parapelgic so my friend goes to Olympia every weekend to spend time with him. It's a quiet life. He really appreciates the company.

Satruday evening I went to B&M's for a BBQ and Badmonton tournament. The badminton tournament is the only time of the year they can shout "cock" jokes. B&M actually managed to get pink shuttlecocks with white heads.

"That little cock goes far!" "It's all in how you use it."
"The cock is in the bush."
"Why are you taking so long? Let me play with the cock too."
"Barry's a cock hog."
"You know... cock jokes never get tired."

Cor didn't come home last night.

Played hockey tonight. We lost 6-3.

Afterwards the team Captain, Colin, and I had a few beers. Colin was in a chatty mood. He told me that he's HIV+. He also told me that we have the same taste in men. Colin and I have dated a few of the same guys. He said he had a date with John the fireman, whom I dated last October. He also said spent an evening with Master Mark. Mark told Colin that Mark and I went to a football game together. I wonder how much else he told Colin.

After I came home, I chatted with Cor for a while. When Cor headed off for bead I said "Goodnight."

Cor turned to me and said, "You know, you don't have to say goodnight to me. We can sleep together. That would be nice."

I told him no, and we joked about the offer for a bit. Then he told me it was ok, that he had sex earlier that night.

Don't I feel special.

After 34 years of living on the farm, my parents have moved. My mother just emailed me the new phone # and address. This is weird. The old phone number, the old home, the river that ran through the farm, my bedroom; these were things that were always there for me, that always felt like they were mine and would always be there.

Now they are just a memory.

I had dinner with Mathew tonight. Right now his life has a lot of drama in it He's not overly happy with that, but he's rolling with it.

We joked a bit about the lollypop guild. Mathew and I know a group of guys who are all 5'6'' and under. These guys jokingly call themselves the Lollypop Guild. Now, Mathew is 6'4''. I'm 6'6''. When we stand around the guild, we feel weird, like we're around small children.

It turns out that Mathew and George did have sex with each other. George has a partner and is in an open relationship. But, George didn't follow the rules with Mathew. So when the George's partner found out, (not sure how) it hurt the partner's feelings. Now George and Mathew can't spend time with each other. Mathew says he feels a bit like a home wrecker. He didn't mean to hurt the partner. He also put some of the blame on George. After all George is in an open relationship. He should have followed their rules, whatever they may be.

I'll never get involved with an open relationship. Too complicated.

Mathew also talked about getting back together with his ex. Blah Blah Blah, his ex is very cute. blah blah blah during the time they've spent apart, they've both learnt and grown.

I think that Mathew should get back together with his ex. Even if they don't work out, at least it will clear up Mat's feelings for his ex. The promise of love is hard to ignore.

Word Games and Stupid Gay Drama.

When I write here, I change the names to protect privacy. Well, I have to use a real name for this story, because it revolves around word play with his first name.

My friend's real name is Hunter. Hunter's ex's new boyfriend has a personal web site called Zesty On the front page of Zesty, you'll find two lists called "Sneers and "Cheers" Last week Hunter appeared under the "Sneers" list. Hunter was a bit pissed at that, so he called Zesty up, and got him to remove his name.

Well Zesty removed Hunter's name and replaced it with "la busco" At the time Hunter was satisifed. Then Cor translated. "la busco" means "one who searches or hunts for something feminine" (Because 'la' is feminine) or "A hunter of the feminine.". It also loosly mean "Mother Fucker" Hunter is of course very pissed off at Zesty.

This is so dumb. Why can't my stories be about me and my friends achieving great goals? How did I get involved with petty drama? Party of me wants to make new friends. But, mostly I like Hunter. For the most part he's a good constructive man. He's changing lately; becomming more bitter. I'll have to ask him about that.

A few days back I met a guy on the internet. Monday night I had drinks with him. He's a nice guy, but it's not going anywhere.

I went out to the Cuff Sunday evening. The Cuff has bumped up Sunday beer bust prices from $0.75 a pint to $1.00 a pint. I heard a rumor that they lost $15,000 over Gay Pride. They brought in about 5 medium-name acts (Taylor Dayne & CeCe Pensiton among others), but because it started raining, the crowds they were counting on didn't show up.

It was a genric sort of cruisy night at the Cuff. I met two guys who want to have dinner sometime. Both of them are nice, but they are definatly more attracted to me than I am to them.

I also ran into a guy who knew that I met Tom, the cop, from Portland. We were talking and he hinted that we had a common friend. I asked who. He said "Portland." and took a sip of beer.

I replied "Tom?" He spat his beer out all over me and laughed. He was very suprised I figured it out so quickly.

Last night, C2, Rob, JR and I went to the "Black Forest Party" at Camp TRC, a gay campground. The Black Forest Party is a leather party they hold every summer. The party wasn't bad but camping was more fun. Our neighbours at the campground were very friendly. They let us use their stove and cutlery. Rob and JR hadn't been camping in years, so they didn't bring their own. Fortunatly I brought enough food for the four of us.

For the most part, the party was fun. There was one big low point; C2 and I saw a guy fall into a bonfire. The guy was very drunk and stumbling around. He tripped walking by the fire and fell in on his side. Some people next to him quickly grabed him and pulled him out. After icing his burns, someone drove him to the hospital.

There was a lot of sex at the party. I didn't participate, but I did watch. Rob got laid.

I think I've had enough of gay camping for this year. The next time I go out, I'm going to go to a regular campground. The only problem is that C2 generally doesn't want to camp. He's ok with going to Camp TRC, because it's gay and it's 1 hour a way. We can leave here by 6pm, be setup by 7:30, dinner over by 8:30 and then chat and drink. Just like going to a gay bar. I on the other hand want to camp-- to be outside and away from people.

Had dinner last night with C2 and a friend of his; Rob. It was good but a quiet. Rob isn't a big talker.

Afterwards, we had coffee together and went to the Cuff.

C6 was at the Cuff. I kissed him hello. He said "That kiss wasn't as good as the last kiss you gave me." So I kissed him very passionatly. Afterwards he said "Woof!" C6 sometimes hints that he has a crush on me. He also says he's not ready for another relationship and probably can't fall in love right now. So, I'm trying to nurture his crush without presuring him to date. I don't know where this will go. I like C6.

Last night Cor ended it with the guy he met on Wednesday. Cor got home late-- maybe 4am. I thought I heard voices in his bedroom, but he left while I was out of the house. Many of us are in aw at Cor's ability to meet and dump new guys on a weekly basis-- not just for a one night stand, but to spend several days together and then dump.

Cor tried to end it with the Columbian from NY, but the Columbian got real angry at him and is flying to Seattle later on in July.

On Thursday I had lunch with C2 We're going camping on Saturday night.

In the afternoon, I cleaned the house and worked out.

I went out for drinks Thursday night. I met a guy who started buying me many tequila shots. He was trying to get me drunk to take me home. I got very sick off of the shots and went home by myself. I'm not hung over today, probably because I threw up last night.

I'm too old to drink like that.

Cor's spent all day with his new friend. I don't know the guys name, but he's a security manager for Nordstroms.

Last night was like something out of a soap opera.

Bruce sent around an email saying that he and C3 were going to the Cuff and he invited us all along. Of course Bruce and C3 never actually made it to the Cuff.

Mathew spent a lot of time talking to his ex. At one point Mathew said he was walking around with a hard-on because his ex was very cute.

My ex, Brian, was there. Brian is looking hot-- but for all the wrong reasons. He's unemployed right now so he has the time to go to the gym everyday. It's paying off. His body is looking good. We talked and I seriously considered getting back together with him. But after a while I remembered all the reasons I fell out of love with him. That, plus the fact that he may be homocidally violent made it easy for me to go home alone.

Cor didn't make it home last night. I saw him heavily flirting with three different men.

Cor dumped Bill, the nice guy from Portland.

Cor was dating 3 guys. He has a 25yo Columbian from NY. He has a guy in Boston whom he married in Vermont and he had Bill. Last night Cor and I talked about his dating problems. I pointed out that unless he was going to have an open relationship, he would have to get rid of two of the guys.

Tonight Cor said he followed a bit of my advice and got rid of Bill. I'm kind of surprised he got rid of Bill. Bill was the bird in the hand, so to speak.

A James Bond movie was on TV. When the theme played, Cor did a little dance and tore up a card from Bill.

Mathew and I had dinner tonight. Mathew's ex is trying to get back together with him. They were meeting for drinks after our dinner. Mathew has a real mean side to him. I know he wants to cut up and insult his ex. I told him the best way to handle it was to play it cool, to act like he didn't feel for his ex; not love, not hate, not bitterness.

After dinner I played hockey. We lost 9-6. They had a guy who was professional caliber. He was a cut above everyone on our team. He could score at will and easily skate around our best players.

Back to the grind...

I was supposed to play hockey Monday night, but the scheduler double booked the ice. Now we're playing tonight. Unfortunatly, when I thought we were playing on Monday, I scheduled a dinner with Mathew on Tuesday. I think I'll have dinner with Matthew instead of canceling and playing hockey.

Mathew said George may come to dinner as well. Hmmm. I wonder if something is up between those two.

I had lunch with Bruce, C2 and George. We had a long conversation about drugs. It sounds like George has used almost everything. He said he's constantly looking for a new drug because all the old drugs don't affect him as much as they used to. Bruce seams to be into popers and perscription drugs. He can talk for hours about Viagra and Oxycotin.

Are drugs becomming more popular or have I beeing living in a hole? I'm still not going to try them. After seeing the O.D. in L.A. you couldn't pay me to take them.

So Cor did spend the weekend with Bill, the nice guy for Portland.

For my vacation I drove down the coast to L.A. to visit my friend Andy. I relaxed, partied a lot and tramped around a bit. Just to get it out of my system.

I started driving Tuesday afternoon-- June 18th. I made it to Portland by Tuesday evening. I met a nice guy there-- Tom. Tom is a Traffic Cop.

Wednesday I drove from Portland to the Pacific coast and started down Hwy 101. It is a beautiful drive. I stopped at a few beaches and walked along the ocean. I spent Wednesday night at a little motel by the ocean. I don't remember where. It was about 10:30pm. I saw a vacancy sign. So, I stopped and got a room.

Thursday I continued driving down the coast. There are very few radio stations along the southern Oregon coast so I set my radio to 'scan' For a long time received nothing. Then over the radio I heard "The brilliance of the sun delights and blesses us all." Then the radio station cut out. It was a weird surreal moment.

By Thursday evening I made it to San Francisco. I had a beer at the Lone Star Saloon. A very effeminate bear chatted me up. He bragged to me that he was on the cover of "American Bear" magazine. I guess he thought that made him very desirable. As if to emphasize that point, he told me a story of a guy who, a few months ago, didn't want to have sex with him because he was HIV+. But, since he appeared on the American Bear cover, the guy emailed him a few times, wanting to get together.

I left the Lone Star and went to the Eagle. A couple of Ok bands were on stage. I listened to them for a couple of hours and then went back to the hotel.

Friday morning I was tired of driving a long the coast. I went inland and took the I-5 down to L.A. I finally got to my friend Andy's place at around 6pm.

After Andy and I had dinner, he sent me off to the Faultine. Andy likes hairless twinks. I prefer regular men. So, we never agree on what clubs or bars to go to.

Andy lives a very different life than I do. He has no qualms about going to orgies, having open relationships, or just sleeping around. I met Andy about five years ago when he lived in Seattle. He didn't like Seattle because there wasn't enough sun and men. Now that he's in L.A. he's definitely taking advantage of both.

Some things concern me about Andy. He is chasing a 25yo guy named Rob. Rob is with another man. Rob would like to leave the other man for Andy, but Andy won't let Rob take drugs-- Rob's current partner lets Rob have all the drugs he wants.

Drugs seam to be very popular in L.A. Especially in West Hollywood. Sunday was L.A. pride and Andy's friend Frank threw a Pride party. One of the guests had a drug overdose (Probably GHB and Alcohol) I was no more than ten feet from the collapse and saw the whole thing. The guy fell and hit his head on the way down. Then for the next few minutes he went into seizures. He bit his tounge and some blood came out of his mouth. They managed to get a wooden spoon into his mouth so he could chomp down on that.

Someone called 911.

Next, the guy went rigid. Every muscle in his body pulled tight. After a minute of that, he started to relax. He was breathing very deeply and regularly, but he was still very out of it.

Finally the paramedics arrived. The guy started to come out of his stupor. He crossed his legs his legs like he was trying to act casual and normal. He still wasn't answer the paramedics questions like "What's your name?"

After a few more moments he started to talk and sit up. The paramedics wanted to carry him out, but the guy wanted to walk. When the paramedics tried to hold him and support him, the guy panicked and tried to flee. He started screaming at the top of his lungs "Ahhhh! You can't take me away! Ahhh! You can't arrest me!" This went on for a long time. It took 10 paramedics and fire fighters to hold the guy down and tie him to a stretcher. They couldn't sedate him because they didn't know what he was on.

I don't know how long it was before they finally took him away. Andy and I have never done drugs (Except Pot) We both agreed there was no reason to start.

A few days later Andy, Frank and I had dinner together. Frank told us the rest of the story. The guy had just become a Dean of a College in Alabama. He had a boyfriend who didn’t condone his drug use, but let the guy travel around to party and get it out of his system. The guy didn’t remember anything that happened that day. The police weren’t going to charge the guy. He should be very grateful for that. His career would be over.

I just re-read the above story. Everything I write after this seems insignificant.

Monday night Andy and I saw The Importance of Being Earnest. A good movie, especially if you like Oscar Wilde. Afterwards Andy and I skinny dipped in Andy's pool. We moved to the hottub and started drinking gin and tonics. We started talking and bull shitting and gossiping and teasing. That's the thing I miss most about Andy-- the conversation. Eventaully, Andy brought me another drink and asked "What time do you think it is?" I thought it was about 12:30am, but said 1:00am. Andy smiled and told me to look at a clock. I got out of a hot tub and looked at the kitchen clock. It was 3:30am. I didn't believe that clock so I went to my bedroom. It also said 3:30am. I wented back to the hot tub. The two of us laughed about the time.

We went to bed by 4:00am. We both wolk up hung over. For a few days afterwards when ever we went anywhere, one of us would quip "Wouldn't gin and tonic be good right now?" and the other would mock vomit.

During the Day I hung around Andy's pool, swam, read and relaxed. We took day trips to a few places. We saw an Andy Warhol exhibit. I learnt that I don't like Andy Warhol.

Wednesday night, Frank, Andy and I had dinner together. Afterwards Frank took me on a tour of the bear bars of L.A. And, after that, he brought me to a Sex Club. It was ok. It smelt bad. I did get laid.

I left L.A. Friday morning. Originally I was going to spend Friday evening in San Francisco. But, I didn't. I had enough of the fast, cruisy life. I drove on to Lake Shasta and spent the night there.

I made it to Portland by late afternoon on Saturday. I called Tom up and we had dinner. He's a good man, but it's going to be hard to spend time with him. He's on a retrograde schedule, so his free time doesn't always line up with the weekends. Also, Portland is three hours away from Seattle.