Sunday was a relaxing day. Didn't do much during the day. Ate lunch. Did laundry. I had my first hockey practice for the 2001/2002 season. It was an ok pratice. I've got a blister on my foot now. I guess I lost my hockey caluses over the past month.

After practice, I went out and had beer with Bruce. Brian was there, but we didn't do much more than say hi to each other.

Bruce and I chatted about work, Celluloid Loop (A local TV show he produces) and boy friends. We were trying to figure out where John and I are going. John is a nice guy, but at the end of the day I wouldn't feel bad if he stopped returing my calls. On top of it all, Harry is looming on the horizon. I don't think I can honestly commit to anyone until I know if Harry and I are getting together. Of course Harry may take another month or two to break up with his BF. Even then he might not want to date me.

I've had a fun couple of days. I had Friday off because my division is moving to another building. Friday morning, John, the Fireman called me up to chat and to see if I wanted to do something. On the spur of the moment, we decided to go to Orcas Island Orcas island is about 2 hours away from Seattle-- one-hour drive, one-hour ferry ride.

We figured since we were leaving during the day on Friday, after tourist season, things would be quiet. That was wrong. Even though we arrived for the ferry 30 minutes early, it was full. We had to wait another two and half hours before we could get on. While we were waiting, we started calling dozens of different hotels on Orcas to try and find a place. Most of them were booked. We finally lucked out and found a one bedroom cottage on the ocean. I wish we had planned a bit in advance. It would have been fun to stay longer than one day. The view was incredible

Friday night we had dinner at the Orcas Wine Co. I highly recommend it. The food was excellent.

Friday night was the first time I slept with or had sex with John. We talked a bit about it. He mentioned that at first he wasn't sure I was attracted to him. I told him that I wanted to get to know him better, but it definitely wasn't love at first site.

In bed John kind of surprised me. He's another one of those men that just that wants to rough me up and rape me. He apologized for it later. He said he was very controlling and rough in bed. If he ever got too intense for me then I should tell him. He would slow down.

I'm trying to figure out why I attract these mega-aggressive men. It's all right being roughed up in bed, but I think I prefer something more normal. What's kind of funny is that my friend Bruce wants, needs, to be roughed up in bed. But he can't find it. He's seeing a counselor because it's hard for him to get off unless he's being beaten up.

On the flip side, I've met 3 guys in the past 3 months who just want me to lie there and take their abuse. On one hand, it is kind of hot just submitting completely to a man. But, it's even hotter to have a man please you while you please him.

I haven't told Bruce about these men.

I find it hard to relate to a man when you know he's going slap you around a bit in bed. John doesn't seem to have the problem. The rest of the day, he was very kind and sweet to me. He got out of bed early and brought me breakfast.

When we checked out of the cottage, the owner said he didn't take Visa. We didn't have a cheque on us, nor enough cash. So the owner said. "Don't worry, just mail me a cheque next week." That attitude summarizes Orcas Island. Very laid back. Very calm. Very trusting.

I liked it so much that I'm going to give it a plug. If you ever want to spend some time on a quiet island, go to Orcas Island, and stay at the Bayside Cottages.

Saturday John and I hiked up Mt. Constitution. More beautiful views at the top. We think it was about a 6-mile hike. 3 up, 3 down.

We had lunch at an Italian restaurant. I forget the name. Good pizza though.

After dinner, we took the ferry back to the mainland and drove to meet some of John's friends; Debbie, Jason and Carl. They also live right on the ocean. They were expecting us, so they put a crab pot out in the ocean. At dusk Jason and Carl went out to retrieve the crab pot. It took them a long time; it was hard to find the crab pot in the dark, plus the ocean was choppy. After about an hour they returned with 5 crabs.

Later on Jason admitted that he couldn't find his crab pot, so he raided a neighbours.

We had a bonfire on the beach, and cooked the crab right there. It was fun and I learnt how to clean crabs.

We chatted till about midnight and then headed for home. John dropped me off. I'll give him a call today and thank him.

Tonight, Bruce and I went out to Pioneer Square. We stopped at the Central, and at J.M's. Pioneer Square is the big entertainment district in Seattle. A number of big bands like Nirvana and Pearl Jam Played there before they were famous.

The bands we listened to were very good; although both of them were cover bands. They certainly had the crowd dancing.

About half way through the night, we ran into Keith. Bruce told me that once he was dating a guy, Eric, and that Keith ruined things between Eric and he. Eric fell in love with Keith and didn't want to keep dating Bruce. But, Keith is fairly young and immature. So Keith ended up jerking Eric around.

So, Bruce and I chatted the night away. He told me about his latest problems. I told him about mine. At one point he turned and accidentally elbowed a women in her breast. Bruce apoligized and they both laughed about it. The women hugged Bruce and then left.

Today they released pictures of the hijackers. It strikes me how normal and ordinary they looked. No face of evil here. Just average Joe's doing what they felt was right. How can anyone live in the USA for years without developing enough doubt to decide they shouldn't fly kamikaze into a building. Maybe some of them did. Maybe there are another 19 hijacker wanna-be's walking around who backed out at the last minute.

I wonder how Hollywood will evil-ify them for the inevitable movie.

At work we've started calling the attacks on NYC and Washington, "AOA"; "Attack on America". Problems related to the AOA are AOA issues. We had a number of customers in the WTC who are now experiencing AOA issues. Let me remove the business speak. Hundreds of people in the WTC were running my software. They are now dead. Their computers are now rubble. Their companies and co-workers are desperately trying to recover from the loss of their skilled employees and the information on their computers. We're hand holding them as much as we can however at the end of the day they loose. They know they've lost. They know there is nothing they can do but pray it doesn't happen again. They can't even take time to grieve. Now, more than ever, people need to know that their insurance policy still means something, that they can still withdraw money from their bank account. To do that we had to restore their services, to replace their dead, as fast as possible.

Part of my work training is to constantly ask "How can we prevent this problem from happening again?" I don't ask that now.

My whole brain seams to have changed lately. I'm not thinking about sex as much as I used to. I wonder if my bout of giardia is related? Did I just have a sex habit and being sick for a week broke me of it? Am I still a little bit sick?

Health issues aside, it's convienent. I no longer spend hours on line looking to meet someone. I don't really care about going out to the bars. I am more productive at work. I now have extra time to read. If it wasn't for that nagging doubt about my health, I'd be happier this way.

Nothing much today. Went to work. Came home. Worked out. Made dinner, cleaned the house, read a bit. Updated my blog.

I've been listening to random channels on MP3.com. Its kind of fun. Sometimes you stumble onto a great obscure band. Sometimes you run into complete crap. Most of it is mediorcre. The best part of it is that I haven't heard most of the songs before. I'll take one listen of a mediorce song over dozens of one that's above average.

Last night I had dinner at Brian's. Work isn't going well for him. Yesterday he indirectly caused a huge explosion that created about $100,000 of damage. Central Control gave him bad instructions on cross connecting two power circuites (Brian is a lineman for a power company) When he followed the instructions, things short circuited.

He's depressed about it. It wasn't his fault. But he's annoyed that the company he works for now doesn't have the equipment and procedures to prevent that kind of mistake.

It was a beautiful day today so I went kayaking on Lake Washington. I left from Coulon Point, paddled over to Mercer Island, ate lunch there and then paddled back.

When I got back, I was tired so I took a nap.

In the evening, Colin came over for dinner. I think he's got a crush on me. He asked me if I'm ever nervous around him. I said no. He told me that sometimes he's nervous around me.

On a slightly related note, since last weekend, since I've recovered from being sick, my sex drive is much lower. I used to have hard-ons all the time. But this past week, I haven't jerked off at all and I never have morning wood. Maybe I'm still not fully healthy. I feel ok, although I am a bit more tired than normal. I don't drink coffee like I did before I was sick. Maybe my system isn't used to being awake without a pick me up.

I'll give it another couple of weeks, and then go see my doctor. On the flip side, it's kind of nice not being lead around by my dick. I'm much more productive at work. I'm finishing off house errands. If I knew it wasn't anything to worry about then I'd be happy with my new libido.

Yesterday, I had a great day with Bruce.

Bruce, L and I started off having breakfast at Van's. After breakfast L had to leave. His car (a 20 year old Z) is having blinker switch problems. He had to go and beg the only mechanic for 50 miles with the parts for the Z, to fix it on a Saturday

Bruce and I decided to go to Mt. Reineer.

First we stoped off at work. When we got there, there was a fire alarm. One of the computers caught on fire. The whole building smelt of burnt plastic and gave you a headache if you stayed inside too long.

We finally got to Mt. Reineer at about 2pm. We hiked around water falls, and across rivers. We drove all the way to Paradise and had lunch there. Then drove on and hiked around the Box Canyon. The Box Canyon is kind of neat. It's not a canyon like the Grand Canyon. It's only about 10 feet wide, but over a hunded feet deep.

After we left the mountain we had dinner at the Naches Tavern-- this little tavern in the middle of no where but the entrace to the park. We drove back to Redmond. Had coffee at Victors and some beer at the Celtic Bayou.

One of the guys at worked died. He looked healthy as a horse. He bicycled to and from work every day. Then, when he got home, he collapsed. His wife was there, but she couldn't revive him.

I didn't know him that well. A a number of the people I work with had worked closely with him and knew his family.

I talked to Colin today. We were supposed to get together for dinner, but a work problem flaired up and he has to stay. So, now I'm hanging around the house. I worked out. I'm a bit tired. It will be an early night tonight.

I talked to Harry today. He's pissed at his BF. He and his BF rarely go out and do things together, yet today his BF is at the Mariners game. In addition, Harry works at Boeing-- yesterday Boeing announced that due to terrorism demand for jets has plumeted. Over the next year, Boeing will lay off tens of thousands of people. It was big news, but the BF never mentioned a thing to Harry.

He also mentioned he might drop a bomb shell on his BF sometime in the next couple of weeks. He didn't mention what the bomb shell would be, but it's not hard to guess.

After work I went hiking with John the fireman. John is in the airforce reserves so he expects to be called up any day. We hiked around Tiger Mountain, Tradition Lake and the swamp trail. Afterwards we had dinner at the Issaquah Brewery.

At work I'm sort of transitioning to another group. The official purpose is to help the other group with their backlog. The real purposes are... one, ensure they are using proper engineering techniques and to teach them if not, and two, if they have any cool tricks or skills, learn about them and bring them back to my group. It's only for 3 days a week but that might change. The other group has technology that will be around longer than mine, so I'm doing it to make sure my career stays on track.

I went to the doctor yesterday. For the past week I've been tired and have had to use the washroom very often. It turns out I've got giardia. A week ago, when I went hiking with Colin, I drank some water from a river. I guess at that time I picked up some giardia protozoa. Let that be a lesson on drinking untreated water.

It's not serious. I'm on an antibiotic and I'm feeling much better already.

I talked to Harry yesterday. When I told him about my giardia, he laughed and told me his story. A while before he called, he meant to fart, but some diarrhea squirted out. At first he hoped it was just a warm wet fart but after some investigation, that hope was dashed.

He went to the washroom, cleaned up, flushed his undies down the toilet and pulled out his shirt to try and hide the wet spot.

He said he's nervous lately. He doesn't know what to do with the BF. Harry loves the BF but is not happy. He's been drinking a bit more to try and calm things. It sounds like he and the BF have been arguing about small things. They went to the Puyallup Fair. Harry wanted to go on some of the rides, but the BF and his friends didn't. He called the BF "a stick in the mud," I can't tell if he did so in jest or out of frustration.

I have to stop dwelling over Harry. It's weird. If I fantasize about him, it's not a raw-fucking-sex fantasy. I think of simpling things like touching him, or kissing him-- just being with him.

I didn't do much all weekend. I watched Hannibal and Cast Way. Both are not bad.

The weather is starting to turn. Sunday and today are cloudy and rainy. The forcast says partially cloudy for for the next few days. After that it's a lot of rain. We had a good summer this year. I'll miss it.

Friday night I went to the Eagle. It was a very somber. I ran into the 50yo cigar smoker again. We talked a while. I asked him if he wanted to have dinner sometime. He said no, he wanted to date a smaller guy. He made a bold counter offer-- I could blow him as long as I swallowed and left immediatly after. If I was good, he I could do it again someother time. One more beer in me and I might have accepted. But, I don't want to have quick tricks. I want to get to know the man. But still, It's pretty hot to selflessly please a man like that. Maybe one day I can have both.

Took the afternoon off. Trying to sleep off what I've got. It's not really a flu. I have stomach cramps and low energy. I don't feel that sick, I'm just tired.

I talked to Harry. Sounds like he is one step closer to ending it with his BF. He mentioned that he doesn't want to have sex with the BF. The BF has been wanting to have sex for a while, but Harry kept putting him off. Last night Harry gave in.

Harry mentioned that the BF reads most of his email. Last week I sent Harry some email telling him the slug slime story. Harry said when he saw he received email from me, he got a bit nervous-- the BF was reading his email over his shoulder. Harry was worried I would mention something abd set the BF off. Fortunatly the email was innocent.

Other than that, Harry's sister is traped in Hawaii. It looks like jet flights are resuming today and tomrrow so she should be able to return soon. I guess there are worse places to be trapped.

I haven't been doing much this week. Like almost everyone else I've been paying attention to the news, hoping to hear something new about NYC; something important. Instead the same facts are repeated over and over, and a rotating line of polititions offer their commentary.

I've been kind of sick this week. A stomache flu. I still go to work, but I've been sleeping 9 or 10 hours a night.

Amazing day. I'm not posting this thinking you haven't heard. I'm posting this so I'll remember when I look back.

Today the World Trade Towers in NY, and the Pentagon in DC were attacked. Serveral 767's were hijacked and rammed into their targets. I saw video footage of the 2nd 767 hitting the World Trace Center. Both towers have since collapsed.

The news is everywhere. Currently very little is known. Mostly it's speculation and rehash from talking heads.

Colin and I went on a killer hike yesterday. First we hiked down to Snoqualmie falls.kind of easy and fun. Then we hiked all the way up Tiger Mountain. Colin is very fit and kept going at a good clip. By the time we reached the top we were both covered with sweat. The view was good though-- clear and sunny. About a dozen paragliders were out.

We've reached a weird time of the year in Seattle. Sometime in the next few weeks the clouds and rain will return and we won't see the sun for months. So every sunny day everyone goes out-- it just might be the last sunny day.

Had breakfast with Bruce and M at Van's. We really have to watch our conversation. Sometimes when we started talking about gay things, you could tell that the tables around us were trying to listen in. It's not that we were talking about gay porn or anything like that. Just gossip-- so and so broke up, so and so had a steroid rage and attacked his partner with a knife. But still, gay people seam to lead much higher drama lives than straight people.

Another double date day. Andy says I shouldn't do that. Bad karma.

I had lunch with Sean. He replied to my personal ad. He's a good man. He has two kids. Seams to be a fun guy to hang around. But I don't know. We had lunch at the Issaquah Brew pub. Afterwards we took a walk arournd the salmon hatchery. They have a display there, "Discover Your Salmon Fate" My salmon fate was to make it out to the ocean, but upon returning to fresh water, I'd be scooped up by a bear. Sean's salmon fate was to be trapped in Lake Washington because he couldn't figure out how the Ballard Locks worked.

Went out for dinner and a movie with John, the fireman. I don't think it's going to go any where with him. Part of me wants it to. He's great husband material. His last partner lasted for 9 years, till partner died in an auto accident. But, I don't really have feelings for him. He's a nice man; no a good man. He's good looking, and interesting. He has a good job. But I just don't care. He's not really my type which makes the situation awkward. For someone else John would be a 10.

John and I had dinner at the Six Arms. Then we saw American Pie 2.

I'm trying to figure out what I want. What I really want is to find a good husband and to build a life with him. What I want more than that is Harry, however Harry is dating someone, so he's out of the picture.

I think I'm going about husband hunting too aggressvily. I've got to slow down. No more than one date a week. And no over lapping dates.

I've met some nice guys recently-- even attractive guys. But I haven't really met one that I want to get to know better. I haven't had that feeling in a long time, to really want to get to know a man and to spend time with him. I had it with Harry when I met him so I know I can still feel it. Am I too jaded? Have I just not met the right guy?

Maybe I should just go back to Master Mark. At least that was simple. I knew what to expect and what to do.

I got another mention on Tommy's site I can't tell if it was a compliment or not. I probably need to keep my libido in check a bit better. I don't enjoy one night stands. They get me off, but they don't make me happy. If I do have sex with someone I want to spend the night with him, and have breakfast the next morning.

Thursday I had dinner and sort of a date. It went ok, but we probably won't go out again.

Friday I went out to the Eagle. I met this guy there. He was pretty hot. He was about 50, good body, smoking a cigar. I don't know what it is about a cigar, but when I see a masculine guy smoking one, it get's me kid of horny.

He was looking for someone smaller and smooth though. That seems to be the story of my life. When I meet a guy that really turns my crank, he's either interested in hairless twinks, or is involved with someone else.

It's frustrating.

Oh well. Off to bed.

Tonight I had date #3 with Colin. We had dinner at my place and sex afterwards. He is really just comming out of the closet. He said he's never slept with a guy before.

We've played together in the same hockey league. He told me that he's had a crush on me for years, it just took him this long to ask me out.

He's a very nice guy. Very masculine. We'll see.

Not much happened last night. Went over to Brians for dinner. While I was there, a friend of his called and they got into a big fight on the phone. I think the friend didn't call Brian on his birthday, so Brian was pissed. After the friend apoligized, Brian's mood wrapedly changed.

I think that Brian has a build up of anger-hormone, so every couple of weeks he has to blow up at someone or something.

Well, Bruce and I went to the Ellensburg Rodeo. We had a great time. There were a good number of hot guys there, so I had to remember to ogle discreetly.

The Ellensburg Rodeo has the 17th largest prize pot, so while the competition isn't as strong as in Houston or Calgary, it is still a very good rodeo. I enjoy the steer wrestling and the calf roping the most. I'm not really into the bronco or bull riding-- I can't spot a good ride. When I thought the rider should get 85, the judges gave him 75. When I thought he should get 75, the judges gave him 85. Wresting and roping is easy though. I can easily scope the parts of each heat (chase, rope, wrestle, tie) and judge how well each cowboy was doing.

They also had wild cow milking. It's not treated as seriously as bronco or bulling riding, even though it's probably more dangerous.

Bruce and I drove back. Went to the Workshop. Had dinner and a pitcher of beer. Then we parted ways.

All in all, a good day.

Took it easy today. Washed my hockey equipment (1st time in 4 years) worked out twice.

In the evening, I went to the Cuff. I ran into a friend of Harry. He mentioned that Harry has put on a lot of weight. I wonder if I'll feel any different for him when I see him next. I'm hoping he would want to lose weight if we got together. I'm much more active, and diet consious than his BF. But who knows.

Over the phone, I got into an argument with Brian. He wanted to sleep together tonight, I didn't. He's not used to anyone saying no to him. When someone does, he doesn't stop till he gets his way. Well, I said no and I wouldn't change my mind. I hung up on him after he started insulting the rodeo I'm going to tomorrow.

I'm half expecting him to drive to my place. I hope he's got more brains than that.

I've had a fun couple of days. Saturday was Brian's birthday so I took him out for dinner at Beck’s. Latter we went for drinks at the workshop. Brian was in a real party mood, so we had 3 boilermakers (Pint of beer with a shot of whisky) in about 1 hour. The bartender cut us off. Luckily I didn't have a hangover Saturday morning.

Saturday afternoon I went to a great BBQ at R&J's place. One of the guys there, JB, brought his two daughters. Now JB is an entomologist for the U.W. He raised his daughters to be unafraid of bugs and slugs. One of the girls started playing with a large brown slug. While it was sliding over her hand she would show it to anyone to try and gross him or her out. After a while she got bored of the slug and stopped playing with it. Of course her hand was still covered in slug slime. When she tried to wash her hands, the slime wouldn't come off! She and J scrubbed for 20 minutes. They used comet and a pot scrubber. It still wouldn't come off. JB told us this was the natural defense of the common brown slug. The slime also has anesthetic properties. When they are attacked; the attacker is all gummed up and goes numb.

JB said that once when he was teaching, to demonstrate the anesthetic properties of slug slime, he licked a brown slug for his students. His tongue went numb and he started talking weird.

JB's two girls are 5&6. They latched on the Kam and kept trying to tickle him. Kam's ex, Margaret, told the girls about wet-willies and got the girls to try and give one to Kam. It was hilarious. Kam was a good sport about being harassed by the girls. I couldn't let an opportunity like that go by-- I pinned Kam down and let the girls give him a wet-willy.

Imagine being given a wet-willy by a girl whose fingers are covered in slug slim.

It was Kam's birthday. After the girls left we opened up Kam's presents. He got an inflatable love-cow, some really gross porn, a case bullets, and a teabag. Why? That's a very long story that Kam tells best.

B&M were there. M is pregnant and expecting any day now. They mentioned that every time M has an ultrasound the doctor or nurse makes a joke about how well endowed the baby is. They are not sure what to expect. They are ‘selling’ relationship status with the baby. For 5 diaper changes you can be called an uncle. For 50, you get to be the God Father. For 150 000, you get to name the baby.

We had a lot of good conversation-- most of it normal. But with R and Kam, normal isn’t good enough. So we had a long talk about bowel movements, why R is afraid of public restrooms and how Kam can pee in an Evian bottle while driving in a snowstorm. Another long story; one that they tell best.