Today C2 took me shopping. For months he's said I need some good clothing (I only wear jeans, t-shirts and flannel shirts) Finally, yesterday he figured out I would go unless he took me. So, after lunch we went to Nordstoms. I spent a few hundred dollars on 3 good shirts, a new belt and a new pair of pants.

I'll wear one of the shirts the next time I see him. Other than that, I doubt I'll ever wear them. I kind of like jeans and t-shirts.

I'm back in Seattle. I spent the last two days with the babies. Many of my old Toronto friends are married and having kids. I did the rounds and spent time with them.

Being a parent really changes your life. A baby sucks up all of your free time.

I went to the Toronto Zoo today-- with some of the babies. It was fun.

C2 drove me home from the airport. On the way we talked about psychiatrists and how many of our friends were seeing them. I asked C2 if he ever saw a shrink. He said no, but then back peddled. He said once, there was an incident and he had to see a psychiatrist to determine if he was stable. The psychiatrist found he was sane. I told C2 that one day I'd get him drunk and get him to spill his guts about the rest of that story. He laughed and said "Yeah, right."

I'm in Toronto now. Visting my old friends.

On my way to Liam's, I ran into my ex, Robert. It's been years since I we've talked. Rob left me for another man. I'm kind of annoyed. after Rob left me, his life picked up. He got a job, and stayed with his new BF for six years. I can't even console my self by saying "Well, Rob was better off with me."

At least Rob has got fat. Also, I got a back-handed complement from Rob's BF. The BF said to Rob about me, "Oh, so this is the one that looks like Brad Pitt." Bob replied "Yes."

Years ago running into Rob would have depressed me for days. Now he's just someone I once new.

I spent Friday night at Liam's. He had a party. About a dozen guys showed up.We stayed up, drinking and talking till 4am.

I spent Saturday with G&J and their babbies. J&M. J is almost 2 now. M is only 4 months. The babies have really changed G&J their whole life has to revolve around the children.

Saturday evening, I headed back downtown and went out with Liam and some of his friends. The Toronto gay scene is very different than Seattle's. Toronto is a big party town-- many clubs don't close till 7am. Drugs are everywhere. The club we went to, Five, has hit on an interesting formula. The crowd is leather and bears, but the bar is setup like an A-list twink bar-- crome, glass and mirors everywhere. Funky lights. Very clean. Until now every leather or bear bar I've been to has been grungy and run down.

How did Five hit on this fomula? It started out as an A-List twink bar, but the twinks were doing too many drugs and only buying water. To boost liquor sales managment gave cover-passes to drinkers-- bears and leather-men. Eventually the bears and leather-guys took over and the twinks stopped going.

It's an interesting mix. I hope it spreads to other cities.

Over lunch with my parents, we talked about the politics of driving the buses. Both of my parents drive the school bus. Many petty issues go a long with it. There are video cameras in the bus and the school bus driving regulations are very long. So, every day, odds are, some minor regulation is broke. If the boss likes you, things go well. If he doesn't, you constantly get reprimands.

In the afternoon, I ran into my first BF. It was kind of weird seeing him again. He's 51 now. It was kind of like old times. We went back to his place. For a while he smoked his cigar while I relaxed him. When he finished his 'gar, he topped me. It was fun. It's been a while since I've had sex with a real man. I should work harder on dating one in the States.

I'm on vacation now.

Sunday I went snowboarding with C2 to Mission Ridge. After that I had dinner with Mat, Sandy and the pb's. Matt made up a bunch of PB T Shirts. Since Matt and I are too big to be pb, we got "PB Protector" Shirts.

Monday, I flew to Toronto. I spent the night at my friend Liam's, then I drove up to my parents in Pembroke.

My parents bought a new a new place. It's nice. about 40 acres of maple sugar lot, and 10 acres of clear land. The new house is nice as well.

My youngest brother drove up on Christmas. He's grown. He's 6'11'' and at least 325lbs. He's absolutly huge. We used to wrestle. I can't budge him now.

Funny explicit adult comic

I saw Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers today. It's a good movie. It's also a very full movie. Much happens with no explaination or setup. To follow it, you really have to had watched Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring.. Other than that, The Two Towers has many great special effects.

I get the feeling they are straying from the books. For a movie named "The Two Towers", the two towers are barely mentioned. For a series called "Lord of the Rings", the quest of the ring bearers is a minor sub plot

Afterwards, I had dinner with C2, The Texas Rose and Hellraiser. It went well. Was the usual routine-- dinner at Siams. Coffee at the Broadway Market, including reading Savange Love out loud. This weeks column was about sex with disabled people.

My brother wants to borrow $10 000 from me-- a down payment for a Transport Truck. I'll probably do it. I just want to run the numbers first and mull it over for a while. My brother is a Truck driver, and wants to do it on his own.

C2 has an in interesting story. C2 has been selling used wide format printers through a friend of his, Norm. Well, Norm vanished and still owes C2 $1400. C2 has been calling around trying to figure out where Norm is. He's dug up some interesting dirt. Apparently Norm was hanging out with a guy who is wanted in Brazil for sedition and murder. Right now C2 hopes that Norm is all right. Not dead, or in a Brazilian jail.

While the story sounds far fetched, Norm is a very colourfull man. He's from a very rich family and never has to work. So, he fills his time by finding trouble-- making porno's, hanging out with wild guys.

Work has kind of shut down. People are wandering from office to office, chatting and sharing gifts. This is why I don't quit. Too much free time. Too many cool people.

I'm having work issues. My job is boring me again and I end up goofing off a lot. I hope this doesn't bite me. Maybe I should hunt for another job. Why do I stay? I really like the people I work with. The pay is good. Management leaves me alone and lets me do what I want. It's hard to leave that behind. Maybe I should see a career councelor.

I just got back from Sunriver/Mt. Bachelor. It was a good weekend. I went with Officer Rob, his BF, and two of his friends.

Sunriver is a maze of a town. They use traffic circles instead of stop signs. The traffic circles are large and full of trees so you can't see through them and it's easy to get lost. You don't know if 4 or 5 streets meet at the circle. If you want to turn left, do you take the 3rd or the 4th off ramp?

The snowboarding was good. Plenty of snow.

One of officer Rob's friends is a Paramedic. Sunday night, Rob and the paramedic decided to trade funny suicide and death stories. It was disturbing and fascinating.

I usually travel with a GPS. When I do, I try to take waypoints of the places I sleep. I've got a long list now. I'm not sure where all of them are. I have to track them down.

Here are the ones I know....

Sunriver/Mt Bachelor... N 43:54.285 W 121:26.199

From Afica... Bulawo S 20:08.425 E 028:34.949 and Mutoko S 17:22.655 E 032:18.098 I'm not sure where the next two are. They are also in Africa, but I don't remember from where. I'll look them up sometime. Ruchar S 17:23.218 E 032:17.554 and Sett S 17:55.612 E 025:49.639

San Francisco... W 37:47.961 W 122:25.418

From Permerend in the Neterlands... N 52:29.981 E 004:58.984

I have to do this more often. I'm missing way-points from all sorts of interesting places.

I'm heading down to Mt. Bachelor to snowboard for the weekend. Officer Rob, his BF, and some friends of theirs are comming along. I tried to convince C2 to come, but he wouldn't. He's punishing himself for not having a real job. Right now he's in a dead-end shipping/receiving job. He wants a real career and won't let him self go on vacations until then.

I wonder about C2. He has a masters and he's a smart guy. But, even at the hight of the dot-com bubble, he was either unemployed, or working on grunt jobs.

I talked to my friend J from Toronto. All my straight Toronto friends are having their second babies. J&E had one about 6 months ago. J&G about 3 months ago. And now M is pregnant. My gay bachelor life is so different from theirs.

J and I also talked about my dating situation. I told her that I'm kind of tired of dating nice guys and becomming good friends with them. I have a lot of friends now. But no romance.

Now a whine I haven't told anyone; I think about Harry almost every day . I keep plotting ways I can get him spent time with him. I'm stuck in Bargaining The truth is, I'm tired of thinking about Harry. I want to forget about him. Unfortunatly he's the only Seattle single man I know who I have have romantic feelings for. Maybe Mr Right isn't in Seattle and I have to leave to be with him. But, I'm not there yet. I have a life here.

Bwahaha... Today I found out that I earn $20,000.00 more than Cor. I know it's petty, but it matters to the competative part of me.

How do I know? He neaded copy of his pay stub and didn't want to go to work. I showed him how to sign onto work, and where to find the pay stub information.

I've started using my blog to help balance my cheque book. I was looking over my bank statement and found a few withdrawls I didn't remember. I read over my blog for those days and found out where I was, what I was doing and what I bought.

The flu is going around. Steven's BF is sick. Cor is sick. Cor is leaving for 3 weeks of vacation-- China, Tibet, Japan. He's not looking forward to travelling sick.

Steven came over for dinner last night. We chatted, played video games, and made a joke poster for a friend of his. The poster is a 42''x38'' blow up of his friends face.

Played hockey tonight. We won 3-2.

Friday night I had dinner wtih C2, Derik, B and BigT, Bruce and C3. It was a plesent evening. The conversation was very good.

After dinner I ran into the Cuff and and ran into C6. I said "Hello Jake Austin. How are you?" (Jake Austin is C6's porn name) C6 immedialty blushed and started saying. "Barry. Shut up. Barry. Don't talk about Barry that. Barry. I didn't want to do it. That got me drunk and stoned, and made me do it." I had a good laugh at that. I can't imaging C6 not wanting to pose nude.

Saturday I bought a stream carpet-cleaner and steam cleaned my carpets. The whole processes confused Cor. Apparently he's never lived in a house with carpets before. At first he thought something was wrong because he socks kept getting wet. I had to explain to him that steam cleaning the carpets ment that they would be wet for a while.

Saturday evening, I had dinner with C5 and his partner James. It was a good evening although I'm kind of jealous of James and frustrated by C5. I really like C5. I met him about a year ago. C5 asked me out on a date. I said yes but was going away on vacation for 3 weeks so the date had to wait. When I got back, C5 didn't return my calls. I heard through the grape vine that he was dating someone else-- James. Eventually, I saw he and James out together and we started talking to each other again.

I always figured that James was about C5's age. C5 is 48. I used that as an excuse for letting C5 not date me. I assumed C5 would rather date someone his own age. Last night I found out that James is 36 and unemployed. That annoyed and frustrated me. I thought to myself "C5, why are you dating him? I have a job! I'm about the same age! I'm better looking!"

Aside from my issues, the evening was good.

I did something bad on the way home. I cruised a rest area. I didn't meet any one-- but I looked hard. The bars aren't working for me and I want to meet someone so badly. So, I figured I'd give the rest area a try.

Sunday morning I helped move Mathew and Sandy. Their new house is nice. Although the second floor is very short. Mathew and I can't stand up on the second floor. He calls it "Hobbit Sized."

I had dinner with Mathew and Sandy. They gave me some good gossip... C6 is doing porn! He's the December cover model for Butch Bear. Yep, that's him in the Santa cap. The next time I see C6, I'm going to slip and say "Hello Jake Austin. How are you?"

Cor is up to something. Last night he had me measure his chest, biceps and waist. He also asked me several times if I thought he was fat, or if he was attractive, or if he was sexy.

Frank from Vancouver was in Seattle on business. We had coffee in the afternoon. His schedule was too full to meet in the evening.

Steven asked me if I was intersted in Frank. If Frank put some effort into it, I'd date him, but he's playing it very cool.

I had my annual physical today. It looks good. My blood plateltes used to be low, but they've climbed back to normal.

Steven's boyfriend is sick. Steven is not really sure what's going on. His BF is in the navy, and was sailing down to San Diego. Last night, they air lifted his BF to a hospital. Steven doesn't know the details and is trying out find out more.

Played hockey last night. We won 4-3. I didn't play a great game, all 3 goals against went in while I was on the watch. Our goalie was to blame for 2 of the goals, but still it doesn't feel good.

Afterwards I went over to Ryan and Sandy's. They had a dinner party earlier on that I couldn't go to (cause of hockey) So, I droped by afterwards and had dessert and beer with them. This was the 1st time I've been to their place. Sandy has 4 persian cat's. They are very friendly and cute. But, they get hair everywhere.

Last Wednesday I had dinner with Mathew and Steven. About half way through dinner Mathew said, in his trade-mark, no-holds-barred style, that he doubted I would ever get married. I was too picky. I banged my head against the table. Steven defended me. He said I would get married, but hadn't found the right man yet. We had a good laugh over it.

Thursday C2 and I drove to Olympia and had Thanksgiving dinner with C2's family. He made it sound like his family is psychotic. They're not. The dinner was good. Oddly enough, a trama center nurse and a mortician were at the dinner. They could kill any conversation in two seconds flat.

Thursday evening C2 and I headed up to Timberline Lodge on Mt Hood for snowboarding. Unfortunatly there wasn't a lot of snow. One run was open. I boarded it in the morning. In the afternoon, C2 and I took the lift up, and then hiked down the hill. It was a beautiful sunny day.

We goofed around and read Friday evening. Saturday morning we headed back for home.

Saturday evening I had dinner with Steven and his partner. Afterwards we went to the Cuff.

C6...

Wednesday evening. C6's ex-wife left a weird message for C6, then drove off and abandoned their daughter. The daughter eventually called 911. She's ok but shaken. C6 is very uncertain. He wants to keep his daughter in the same school, but that means he has to work out living arragements for her.

C6 said he wants to talk about his situation, but also he's tired of talking about his situation. He's uncertain of himself. Both of his ex's have gone psycho. That makes it hard for him to trust anyone.

On Sunday C6's ex-wife left a message from him. She's at a hotel in Montana. C6 doesn't want to talk to her.