Hockey playoff game two was tonight. We won 7-5. It was a tight game. They were a good team. I'm not sure how I played. On one hand I didn't impress my self. On the other hand, no goals were scored against us while I was on the ice-- for a defence man that's perfection.

Afterwards, we went to a bar near the arena, drank and played pool. The team Captian did kareoke-- a very bad rendition of Behemian Rhapsody.

For the past month at work we've been having security reviews. Many days we spend 4 to 6 hours a day in tedious meetings. It’s starting to get to the team. For the past couple of days, about an hour into a meeting, everyone starts to break out in giggles.

C3 I went and saw Amelie. C3 has seen it once and wanted to see it again. When we got to the theater, he asked me to sit near the front. He wanted to see it all close up.

Amelie is a great movie. It’s about a shy Paris girl who concocts elaborate schemes to make other people happy. For example—an old man mopes around, mourning his long deceased wife and tending to a garden shrine he built for her. He rarely goes out or talks to people, or travels. Amelie steals a lawn gnome from the shrine and gives it to an airline stewardess. As the stewardess travels, she takes photos of the gnome in famous places, Moscow, Thailand, New York, and mails the photos to the old man. As the old man receives the photos, he gets more frustrated and amused that his lawn gnome is traveling around the world while he stays at home. Then, one morning he wakes up and the gnome is back on the shrine. The old man packs his bags and heads for the airport.

That scheme is a very small part of Amelie. There are half a dozen more, plus one played on Amelie herself.

It's been a good ego day. I ran into a drinking buddy that I haven't seen in months. He said my chest and shoulder were getting bigger. All that working out is finally paying off.

I was supposed to meet up with C2 for movie bears, but I got distracted by work and couldn't make the movie. I did make it out to the Cuff afterwards to talk to the guys, but I didn't see C2. In the back bar, they had a special leather social event. I guess I'm not on the 'A' list, cause I wasn't invited. Oh well.

Hmmm-- I fibbed a bit. I told Tommy that I don't go out to the Cuff during the week. I guess I do-- just on movie bear's night. It get's me out of the house and is more interesting than staying at home another night, cleaning or goofing off.

It was the first game of hockey playoffs tonight. We lost 2-1. I got a tripping penalty. It was a fairly rough trip. I'm lucky I didn't get more. The guy I tripped had to spend a few minutes off the ice to shake it off.

We're not sure how to run the next few games. We know we play better with fewer players (i.e. when the really green guys don't show up) However we can't tell them to stay away. We all payed the same fees, so we all get to play.

My uncle died last night. He's been battling lymphoma and leukemia for the past six years. Last fall they started him on an experimental treatment that cured the lymphoma and leukemia, but was so hard on his body that he didn't recover.

My mother was fairly close to him. She had been spending every Sunday with him for the past four months or so-- giving my Aunt some time off. She said yesterday my uncle decided he didn't want to fight any more. He told her he wanted to die. They spent the day talking, praying and reading the Bible.

I went to an Oscar Party last night. A couple from work hosted it. There were at leat 40 people there. I did fairly poorly-- 7 out of 20.

They tried to make it as rowdy as possible. We we all cheering for or booing the movies as the awards were annouced.

Brian called me today. We talked for over an hour. He's with his parents in Florida right now.

Brian said it was an 8 day trial. After two hours of deliberation, the jury found him not guilty of attempted first degree murder .

Brian met the guy at a bar and invited him home. They were talking in the living room and the guy said he was HIV+. Brian asked him to leave. They guy got very angry with him and Brian had to physically throw him out. The guy ran next door and showed some bullets to the neighbors. They called the police. Thinking Brian was armed and dangerous, the police surrounded Brian's house and hauled him off to jail.

Only, they could never find the gun that Brian allegedly used in the attack.

I asked Brian what happened to the Glock he keeps in his bed-side table. He got nervous and fumbled for words. He asked me what I new about the Glock. I said “Oh, I think I remember you telling me it was stolen a long time ago.” Then we changed the topic

Had an ok day.

I put a down payment on a new couch and love seat. I should have them in 4 to 6 weeks.

I had an internet date at lunch. He was an ok guy who as been asking me out for the longest time. It's not going to go anywhere, although he was a nice guy.

I worked out in the afternoon. My garage is my gym. Since today was nice and sunny, I opened up the garage door and worked out in the sun.

I went out to the Cuff at night. I had a couple of beers with George and Officer Rob. There were a lot of strange people there, so we took turns playing "Jealous Lover" when one of us was being hit on by a creapo.

Had dinner with C2, Cor, Cor's husband, and a couple of other guys from, T&J For the most part it was fun. T, J and Cor's husband have never read Savage Love so when we played "What would Dan Savage Say?" we got a lot of laughs.

This week one of Dan's questions was "Are there sex toys that a virgin can use? I will appreciate any help you can provide."

C2 was hoping that Cor and T would get into an argument. Both are very opinionated people that don't back down and are very quick to push buttons. Nothing happened though. Mind you, I warnd C2 that he shouldn't bring up certain cannon fodder subjects.

Afterwards I had a couple of beers at the Cuff. Just talked to the usual guys.

T&J both live in Redmond. So, maybe I can start having group breakfasts at Van's again.

Hmmm. Last X-Mas I was asked out on a date by Chris5. Before we went out, Chris5 vanished. I heard through the grapevine that he got back together with his ex. Today i received another email joke from Harry who forwarded the it to dozens of people, including Chris5. I noticed that Chris5's email address was on yahoo, so Iooked at his yahoo profile. He listed him self as "Widow/Widower" I wonder what's up with that?

I still feel a bit cold when I recieve Harry's joke emails. I keep hoping that they are just to me. They always end up being jokes forwarded to dozens of people. I'm tired of having feelings for Harry.

Haven't done much over the past few days. Mostly sleeping, cleaning up and doing some paperwork-- getting things in line for taxes. I've also been playing around with some digital photos.

Wow-- long weekend. The juicy stuff is at the end...

We (me, Bruce, C3, and about 14 other people) left for Whitefish on Thursday Afternoon-- took an overnight train. My bunkmate was J. As soon as we reach our cabin J called dibs on the top bunk. He regreted that. The top bunk is narrower then the bottom bunk and has less head room. Also the heater, which is on the ceiling, was stuck on hot.

We spent Thursday evening walking from cabin to cabin chatting with each other. Many of the guys were pretentious ski queens. A few of them were normal good people.

The train arrived Friday morning at 7:30am. None of us slept well. To help him sleep, C3 took several pain killers. He spent most of Friday kind of groggy and out of it.

They bussed us to our hotel. C3 ended up forgetting some of his luggage at the train station. So, Bruce and C3 went back to find it. I started snowboarding.

It was very foggy. I took the lift up to the summit anyways. That was a mistake. The top was a complete whiteout. I couldn't see more than 10 feet away from me. When there is that much fog your mind starts to play tricks on you. I started to hallucinate-- to see trees 20 feet away from me. I sat down next to another snowboarder in the same predicament. We talked for a few minutes. He knew the run so he could get us down, but he wasn't a strong boarder. Without being able to clearly see the ground he was constantly falling. We stuck together and slowly worked our way down, talking many breaks. After about 45 minutes we reached the base.

For the rest of the day, I stuck with the lower runs-- much less fog.

That evening the hotel hosted a wine and cheese party for us. That was the first time I noticed D&L. D&L are a fit, attractive bear couple. Good normal guys. Bruce commented that I would end up having a threesome with them. I didn't want a threesome, so I kept a comfortable distance.

For dinner Bruce, C3, some of the guys and I went to Kandahar for dinner. Kandahar is overpriced. We spent $35.00 a head without alcohol. The food while good wasn't great.

After dinner we crashed. It was long day.

Saturday Bruce, C3 and I had breakfast and went boarding. We found Jesus! There is statue of Jesus near chair lift #2. It was put there by the Knights of Columbus back in the 50's.

One of the pretentious ski queens tried to pick me up by snowboarding. He rented a snowboard so we could board together all day. I accidentally got separated from the ski queen. Oops. Later on he bitched me out.

Saturday evening Bruce and C3 stayed at the resort for dinner. I went into town with J, another guy and D&L. It was over dinner I noticed how handsome L really was. We had a good dinner. Mostly small talk since we were all strangers to each other.

On the way back in the dark of the taxi, L put the moves on me. I set next to the door, L set next to me and D sat next to L. L put his arm around me and stroked my neck, my hair and my beard. I felt sparks. No one has touched me in months. I rubbed his leg a bit. L goosed me on the way out.

Back at the hotel we hung around and chatted a while. I caught L looking at me a few times. After about an hour we headed off for bed... separate beds.

Sunday morning was very cold-- below 0F. Even though I’ve lived in the U.S. for 5 years, for the cold I still think in Metric. When someone says a temperature common to Seattle, I know what it's like without converting to Celsius. When someone says its -5F I have no idea. I had to convert it to Celsius... -12C, cold but bearable.

Sunday afternoon I took a big spill. Taking a big spill sucks all the energy out of you. After the spill, simple turns took a lot of effort. For my own safety I called it a day. Bruce and C3 carried on.

I hung around a bar at the resort-- the Hell Roaring Saloon. Caps for the saloon were hung up above the bar. The bartender was short. I am very tall. When someone wanted a cap, she got me to reach it down for her. For the favor she gave me a few complementary pints of beer.

We had dinner and headed back to the train. We were drinking in the observation lounge. Another nice guy, R sat next to me and tried to pick me up. Rob lives 6 hours away from me so I didn't pursue it. L sat opposite me and rested his legs on mine. It was an ego boosting moment. I felt bit uncomfortable, but I also felt good that two normal guys were chasing me. Granted, one was in a relationship and the other lived 6 hours away, but hey, it still felt good.

D came back and saw the way L was resting on me. L moved away and started paying more attention to D. A while later D&L went off to bed. About 15 minutes later I did the same.

While I was in my bunk, L came in. He rubbed my chest and we kissed a bit. I told L to take care of D because D was a good man. L said he knew that, but I was a much better kisser. He also said that D had clipped his wings after they left the observation lounge. L called me a handsome man. I called him a big flirt. I also told him that he was the first man I've lusted after in a long time. It's true. No one has pushed my buttons that way since Harry. It’s good to know that I can still feel passion for someone new.

We kissed some more. Then L left.

Monday morning when I checked my messages, I heard that Brian's trial was last week. I called up Brian's best friend On Friday Brian was acquitted of the attempted murder charges. Now he's out for revenge. He's suing the state and the guy who charged him for wrongful imprisonment. Instead of this being a wake up call for Brian he thinks he can beat the system. I’m worried about this. I’ll see what happens the next time I run into him.

We won at hockey tonight. 5-3. I got a goal! It was a long game-- we were two men short. Now my back aches and I'm very tired.

I'm out of town for the weekend. Bruce, C3 and I are going on a Skibuddies. trip to Whitefish MT for a weekend of snowboarding. We hop on the train tomorrow afternoon.

I've had a quiet couple of days. I worked a bit late. I've been playing with my digital camera, and some software. I'm going to put some effort into getting better at photography. It's a much better use of my time than playing video games, or hanging around internet chat rooms.

Last Saturday I bought Adobe Photoshop Elements for my camera. The mall I bought it at was out of the way. While I was there, I really noticed the Seattle split. Seattle has two separate cultures. There is the hi tech industry centered around Microsoft in Redmond. Here six figure salaries are common. Bachelors can afford to live in nice $200,000.00 homes and still have a 401K, every one drives a great car and the restaurants are all high class.

Then there is blue collar Seattle; largely based around Boeing in South Seattle and Everett. $50,000.00 salaries are common. Couples struggle to make payments on $150,000.00 homes and funded the down-payment from their 401K. Most everyone's vehicles are well used and the restaurants are mediocre.

So, last Saturday when I had lunch at the mall, I noticed that the crowd was very different. No designer cloths, lots of faded jeans. I looked at myself and thought "Can they pick me out? Do they realize I'm not blue collar? Some of these guys are really hot. How can I meet these guys?"

So my ex, Brian, didn't leave Seattle.

I ran into Brian's best friend. Previously he hinted to me that Brian moved away. We talked for a while. It was clear that he wanted to talk about Brian. I said "I know Brian doesn't want me to know where he's moved, so I'm not going to ask questions about him." The friend replied "I didn't tell you that Brian moved, you just assumed that."

We chit-chatted some more; not about Brian. Then I felt in my gut what happend. I asked "He's not in jail again, is he?"

The friend said "You didn't hear it from me... You didn't hear it from me... Let me hear you say it Barry, you didn't hear it from me."

"I didn't hear it from you. I read it in the newspaper or looked it up on the internet. What happened?"

Over Thanksgiving, Brian brought home a trick . Something happend and Brian lost his temper. He took a gun to the trick. He didn't shoot the guy, but has been charged with some flavor of attempted murder.

I feel kind of cold right now. I know I could have made a difference. At the end of our relationship, instead of ending it with him, I thought about saying "Let's both stop drinking, and you need counseling."

He was never violent with me. Only outsiders caused him to loose his temper. On the other hand his temper was getting worse. That's why I ended it with him. Maybe if we stayed together, the gun would have been pointed at me .

I had breakfast with Bruce and C3 at Andy's Dinner.

I spent Saturday after noon at a hockey clinic. It was ok, I picked up a new trick or two. However, the thrust of the clinic was team strategy. Most of our team wasn't there, so it will be hard to bring what I learnt to the team.

Saturday Evening...

Blogspot Links seam to be acting up. Tommy's web site is at http://tommy71301.diaryland.com/

Tommy says: hey......how is your Sunday
Barry says: Just woke up!
Barry says: Yours?
Tommy says: ok.....just about to write about the date last nite in the diary
Barry says: I'm looking forward to that
Tommy says: yep....well....read about it in an hour or so.
Barry says: My Saturday was kind of weird. C3 and his room mate invited me to an "art" party.
Tommy says: hmmmm..... ur art or theirs
Barry says: There is a warehouse in Seattle that has been taken over by 30 artists. As a fundraiser they held a large party at the wearhouse.
Tommy says: ah...what kind of art
Barry says: That was it. The art was really lame. Probably the best was a guy who made candle sticks and such, out of metal, that looked like human bones.
Tommy says: hmmm..... any glass making.
Tommy says: or stain glass works
Barry says: I saw a glass furnice, but I didn't see any glass work. Maybe they removed it. Too breakable for a large party.
Barry says: There where hundreds of people there.
Tommy says: and did u meet any nice men there
Barry says: No. I don't really like Seattle artists. They dress kind of dirty.
Barry says: I'm more of a jeans an T-Shirt guy.
Barry says: Plus I'm not into dying my hair, or piercings.
Tommy says: ah.........kind of grungy...the artist that is
Barry says: Yes, very grungy. It was weird. I looked like the establishment because I was wearing new name brand jeans.
Tommy says: we wore jeans last nite to this cafe...lots of suits...a few tuxes...but hey its louisiana..and we were country boys.....
Tommy says: so we felt comfortable...and Billy is kind of petite`...he looks the part of a gay man......it was an interesting time....but the meal and the company was good
Barry says: That's cool. I'm looking forward to reading all about it.
Tommy says: ok...be good....have a great Sunday....hugs...bye
Barry says: You too.. Hey, do you mind if I post this conversation as my entry? After all, it really sums up my Saturday.
Tommy says: nope....go ahead
Barry says: Thanks. Have a great day! bye
Tommy says: oh.....bye Buddy

So, that's how I spent my Saturday evening. The cover was $10.00. Bruce arrived seperatly, but when he found the cover was $10.00 he left. C3 and I should have done the same.

C3 and I left at about midnight. We got a pizza and met up with Bruce. We ate pizza and watched "Sex in the City" for a few hours.

So, Tommy had a date last night. I'm wondering how it went and how I feel about it. I hope it went well. On the flip side, Tommy is my first internet crush, so I won't feel too bad if things didn't work out.

Man-o-man am I self centered.

Bruce slept over night at work. With the snow it was too dangerous to drive home. He should have called me. I only live 10 minutes away.

C2, Cor and I had dinner tonight. It was mostly good. At some points C2 started to give Cor the 5th degree and this made Cor a bit uncomfortable. Once Cor got used to C2 things worked out. Both C2 and Cor have traveled all over Asia so they had lots of stories to swap.

After dinner we had coffee and played What would Dan Say? We read a question from Dan Savage's column and try to guess what his answer will be.

Afterwards... Drinks at the Cuff. Master Mark was there although we didn't say much more than 'hi' to each other.

I let out a frustration scream or two on the way home. I'm tired of regratting the way I've conducted my past relationships and I'm not looking forward to being alone.

It snowed last night. Everything is bright white. Many people stayed away from work.

C2 and I saw Iris with the movie bears. Iris is basically a love story where two people, Iris and John, grow old together. Iris get's Alzheimer's and then dies. I didn't like it. Neither did C2. About half way through he started squirming and looking at his watch a lot. Some of the guys wear really moved by Iris. I felt like I was watching paint dry.

Afterwards we went to the Cuff. I talked with a few of the guys. Just the usual B.S. Who's dating who. Who's trying to patch things up with who. Stuff like that.

A couple of weeks ago I lost my money clip. I though there was only $20.00 in it so I didn't feel to bad. This morning I found the money clip. It held $60.00. A good, unexpected bonus.

So, Master Mark hasn't really changed. He still want's me to be his sex slave. We had lunch together and hung around the afternoon, but he asked me to wear a collar the whole time.

In the evening I played hockey. We won 4-2. We've lost 6 times against this team, so this win felt really good. We played good solid, clean hockey. We only had one penalty and it was justified. The other team has a great player, 55, who was on a breakaway. One of our D's tripped 55 rather than letting him get to the net.

Afterwards we had beer at a local bar next to the arena. I got really drunk. DB and I kept ordering pitchers of beer even after the rest of the drinkers left. DB is very hot, but as straight as they come. I was happy to hang around and talk to him. There is another gay guy on our team. I'm sure he'll ask questions the next time I see him.

Nothing happened, but I can always hope.

I'm hung over now.

Oh yeah, Hi SnubForLove! Thanks for dropping me a line.

Saturday morning I got a call from C2. He blew a tire out on his car, didn't have a working spare, so he needed some help getting the car to the garage. His existing tires were very very old. The tire that blew out had warn through not one, but two of the belts. None of the tires had tread.

So we had breakfast while his tires were replaced, balanaced and aligned.

I called Cor and told him I wasn't falling in love with him. He said he understoon.

I spent the afternoon with Bruce and C3. We hiked around Alki Beach.

Later, we had dinner at Andy's dinner. Bruce and C3 were talking about some of their file work. When a actress/waitress heard this, she started chatting us up, trying to get a gig.

I went to the Cuff in the evening. The usual crowd was there. Master Mark was there. We talked a while. He apologized for the last relationship and asked me if I wanted to try again with something more normal. So, this afternoon we're getting together for a movie. He's still acting like a Master though. When we talked on the phone this morning, he told me to show up wearing tight jeans and a jock strap.

I'm very ambivalent about this. But hey, I've got nothing else better to do this afternoon.

Cor came over last night. We had dinner together. He also slept over but we didn't have sex. He said no sex till we love each other. I don't care weither or not we have sex together.

The next time I see him, I have to tell him that I'm not falling for him. It's too bad, He's a good man, however he fits in the "friend" and not the "lover" category. I've been trying to put my finger on why I'm not falling for him. He's attractive, he has a good job. He's a nice guy. All I can come up with is "chemistry"

He has his bagge as well. He and his ex got married in Vermont. They are still married. He said his ex calls him every day. I'm using that as an excuse to keep some distance between us.

I hope I'm not too picky.

Every Friday out teem has a Beer & Status meeting. Where we drink beer, eat snack food and discuss the weekly status. Today the guy who buys the beer asked if he could borrow my truck to help buy the stuff. Of couse I said yes. We've got a weekly budget of $250.00 for beer and snack food. It was kind of fun buying all those obscure beer brands and weird snacks that I would never buy with my own money.

Later on I headed down town and had dinner and coffee with C2. Things are going ok with him. After wards, I had a beer at the Eagle. Unknown to me, it was their monthly Water Sports night. The Puget Sound Pissers Society was their and holding a raffle. You could win great prizes like a Pissers's yellow T-Shirt, or a ticket to their exclusive pee party next weekend. Oh boy.

One guy dressed in a yellow shirt, a rubber vest and rubber boots kept following me around. It was a bit odd. He was polite so I didn't go too far out of my way to avoid him.