As always, Tommy responded back with words of wisdom...

"Tommy" said...

In the past few months, my friends have been coping with similar events in their parents lives. I have to say the children are now becoming the parents... the responsibility for care is on their shoulders for their parents. I see the stress that is occurring with the siblings who live far away and the ones who live near the parents.

I'm looking at this problem a few ways. 

1. My brothers and I are taking responsibilities over from our parents. As a gay man with no children, it's very new for me to feel the responsibility over the life and health of another. I have a new respect for parents.

2. My mothers condition isn't like a cold or flu where she will get over it, and go on to live a great and productive life for years to come. My mother has had a rich and productive life. Now her abilities are waning. What's left is for our family and friends to cherish our remaining time with her. 

3. This is a sneak preview of how I may age. I take great care of myself. Until recently I've been able to delude myself that I'll live a great life until I'm 90 and then die quietly in my sleep. That is not true. I may die at any time for any reason. I may die suddenly. I may linger.

As the Will Roger's joke goes... I want to die quietly in my sleep like my grandpa. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.