This week I am on vacation. Steven is heading up to Alaska for a few days of work. So I shall have a quiet few days. I have a few odd jobs planned—little house maintenance things that need to be done but that I keep putting off.

Just me and the dog and a lot of great hiking trails.

Steven and the sponsee have just left. They are heading to a medical evaluation before the sponsee is checked into a treatment program.

The sponsee's life melted down over the past few days. The family he was staying with kicked him out. His ex wife refused to let him see or talk to his kids. This morning, we packed up everything he owns and put it in his storage locker.

On the positive side, he didn't steal or cheat. His health appears to be fine. As they say in the program... as long as you are not dead or in jail, then you can fix things.

Something different for Christmas this year. One of Steven's sponsee's fell of the wagon and spent a few thousand dollars on drugs and gambling. He may have been kicked out of his room. Or maybe not. His story isn't clear here and he is afraid to communicate with those he has dissapointed. Either way, he's spending a few days with us. On Tuesday we check him into a treatment center. 

Steven and I had a good chat about this before we let him in. Usually he is a nice guy and comes accross as having his head screwed on straight. Still, we hid any valuables and agreed that someone had to be with him while he is in the house. 

Steven and the sponsee have been spending their time talking about sobriety, treatment options and the consequences of going on a bender.

Steven, Bailey and I  spent a few days at Whistler skiing and snowboarding. It was my first time snowboarding in a few years, and my first time at Whistler ever. A few impressions. Mostly these are notes for me to remember the next time I travel there...

Whistler is the Disney of skiing. A bit of searching suggests that it's the largest ski resort in North America. The village around the base is built around hotels, bars, restaurants and shopping with ski lifts right in the center.

The resort is built in the valley between two mountains-- Whistler and Blackcomb. Blackcomb is a more challenging mountain. My skill level could handle Blackcomb, but it was exhausting. We had much more fun on Whistler.

Australians are everywhere in Whistler. Apparently Canada allows for unlimited work visas for Australian citizens. Young Australians take advantage of this and flock to whistler to work and ski for the season.

Next time we are there, we should do more research on the different accommodations. Our building was right on the ski run, which is nice, but it was older and the beds were past their prime. I think we could do much better for not that much more money.

There is a whole social life around skiing at whistler. Baily, who skis there almost every year, kept running into people that she only meets there. The general flow is to ski until 3 or 4. Then have a little après-ski (after-ski drinks at the bar. Some of the bar bands are incredibly good) This is followed by a soak in the hot tub and then dinner around 7pm. We fell asleep every night by 10pm since skiing is so exhausting.

Skiing is the opposite of a nice beach vacation. Much work, effort and coordination must go into a ski trip. None of this is relaxing. Its all made up for by the views and freedom that you experience while skiing. 

My last support check to RO is due soon. This brings up many memories, not only for me, but for RO. Tonight he texted me a goodbye love note. With his history of attempted suicide, this makes me think twice. I'm presuming that he is saying goodbye in a friendly way.

 

 

Saxe Point Park in Victoria

We spent the weekend in Victoria. Very plesant and quaint.

We took the Victoria clipper up. That sounds more romantic than it is. The seating is a little better than economy class. You have to go through customs on either end.

The views along the way are wonderful. I saw a pod of orcas. Steven got some great pictures of the sunset.

Victoria, like Seattle, is going through a growth spurt. Lots of construction. I'm not sure what is driving the growth though. I'll look that up sometime.

Steven and I both agreed that we could retire in Victoria.

Saturday night was a party with Steven's old friends, including Vic.

Vic and Steven were once married. The three of us were great friends. That was years ago. Vic and Steven have both rebuild their lives. Vic has since remarried. 

Steven and I chatted about that. He wanted to ensure that I was comfortable around Vic. I admitted it was a little weird, but it was also good to see him again. 

We also got to see Vic's son and his son's wife. I last saw Vic's son when he was 12. I think his son is now 27.  So much time has passed. 

Sunday morning we walked along the waterfront and through the Empress Hotel (Which is gorgeous) and along the shoppping district. The weather was wonderful. A great way to end the weekend. 

As always, Tommy responded back with words of wisdom...

"Tommy" said...

In the past few months, my friends have been coping with similar events in their parents lives. I have to say the children are now becoming the parents... the responsibility for care is on their shoulders for their parents. I see the stress that is occurring with the siblings who live far away and the ones who live near the parents.

I'm looking at this problem a few ways. 

1. My brothers and I are taking responsibilities over from our parents. As a gay man with no children, it's very new for me to feel the responsibility over the life and health of another. I have a new respect for parents.

2. My mothers condition isn't like a cold or flu where she will get over it, and go on to live a great and productive life for years to come. My mother has had a rich and productive life. Now her abilities are waning. What's left is for our family and friends to cherish our remaining time with her. 

3. This is a sneak preview of how I may age. I take great care of myself. Until recently I've been able to delude myself that I'll live a great life until I'm 90 and then die quietly in my sleep. That is not true. I may die at any time for any reason. I may die suddenly. I may linger.

As the Will Roger's joke goes... I want to die quietly in my sleep like my grandpa. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.

Mother had a seizure on Sunday. She is fine now, though it was very scary for a few hours. She already has short term memory loss, so after she regained consciousness, she was asking where she was every four minutes or so.

Right now she is in good shape. My brother said she has decent coordination and is able to walk around. She has some bruises from when she had the seizure, but they will heal.

My other brother and I live far away from our parents. We are planning things through now. I've seen my parents twice this year and call regularly, so I wasn't planning on visiting them for the holidays.

 

 

 

 

The holiday season is here. Steven and I are getting together with friends three or more times a week. The social schedule is making Steven tired.

Friday was dinner with the husband of a niece of Steven's. He was in Seattle for interviews.

Saturday was a white elephant gift party with the AA crowd. We got a shake-weight and a half a dozen framed nudes of woman. Enough about that.

The party had a large attendance. Steven mentioned that he feels anxious in large parties. That surprised me. He is much more extroverted than I am so I always assumed he was comfortable in crowds. I think the difference is that he always wants everyone to have a great time, which is a tough task in a large crowd. On the other hand, while I don't feel anxious in large parties, I generally don't enjoy them either. So, I don't really care if other people aren't enjoying them selves.

Sunday was dinner with MB. MB is an older friend of Steven's, but they became distant after Steven got sober. Lately they've been reconciling, but they have drifted apart in other ways, so who knows how far that will go.

 

Vinyl

I have friends who insist that vinyl albums sound better than digital. After having dinner with a few of these friends, I'm not sure that vinyl sounds better. But it is more fun. You get to browse the albums—albums used to have great cover art. When you play the album, you must commit to listening to that album for the next 20 minutes.

Very different than Pandora or Spotify where I can just choose "Dinner Music" and then click thumbs down on any song I don't like.

You must take Vinyl more seriously.

 

 

Mom had a seizure. She is in the hospital but is fully recovering now. I wasn't going to go home for Christmas since I've visited my parents twice this year, but this had made me reconsider.

 

This episode has also made me realize that my brothers and I may need to do a bit more planning in regards to my parents. Something may happen where their care will be longer and protracted. What then?