When I was young, I knew I didn't know much. That was OK since I was learning. Eventually I would learn every thing.

Then, in high school, and university, I knew I could learn the things I studied. I accepted that I Would be ignorant of the things I didn't study. There just wasn't enough time.

But, as time went on, I saw that even on the subjects I study, there were deep mysteries. Hard work and deep research reveals that there is so much more to learn than you can ever be exposed to.

Then I started to realize  that so much of what I knew, so much of what I had put so much effort into learning wasn't aging well. So many facts were outdated. Some of what I learnt was wrong. Much was misremembered, and lots was forgotten.

I could read some books and have a vague feeling that I've read that book before, yet not know how the book ended. Sure enough, if I looked over my reading history, I had read that book before and forgot it completely.

But the more I think about this, the less I feel that I am becoming frail, weak and forgetful with old age. This ignorance maybe the way of life for everyone, and I'm only now realizing it.

When you are young and you forget to do an assignment, or bring chips to the party it's not a big deal and you brush it off. When you are middle aged and you forget, then doubt creeps in and you think you are loosing your mind. This scares many people. I can't go there. Doubt and anxiety do not make things better. I have to face the world as it is, with the strengths that I have. Weather or not my mind is getting weaker, or stronger.

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