This morning I played UNO on Xbox live. UNO is a 'camera-enabled' game so you can see the other players.

One of the other players was a teenage girl who kept shaking her ass and breasts in front of the camera. I cheared her on. Then she looked at my camera. She asked "How old are you? Is that a cat in your lap? You're a slob!"

I felt bitter. Now I'm the old slob who plans with cats and watches girls on XBox live.