Tuesday I had dinner at Brian's. I slept there too. He asks me why I never call him. I avoid answering. I wish he would clue in. The 2nd last time I refused to sleep with him he threatened me and put his fist through my wall. That last time I refused, he told me that pay back was going to be a bitch. Either I get a restraining order to keep him away from me, or I put up with him. With his legal problems right now, the last thing he needs is a restraining order.

Roger is back from vacation. We talked Tuesday Evening and decided to have dinner on Thursday.

Now, I've got to grow up. I've been missing one ex & sleeping with the other. I hope things work out between Roger and I. On the phone it was hard talking to him. We'll see how things go on Thursday.

I've cut back on my work outs this week. My right shoulder is hurting, so I'm going to let it heel before I push it. I'm still cycling.

Thursday evening I had beer with Bruce at the Workshop.

Friday, Bruce, F and I went to costco and bought food for the BBQ I threw on Saturday. Spent about $200 bucks on burgers, chick brests, beer, liquor buns. Later on we went to Bruce's place and watch Dark City.

Saturday I cleaned up my house and bought the last of the stuff for the BBQ. People started showing up at about 6:30pm. About half of my softball team came, plus a couple of F's friends that I met before, plus Ryan, Jen, Jason, Peg, Tom, Joy, L and Davit.

My softball coach, Bobby, volunteered to do most of the BBQing. I owe him big thanks for that.

Bruce and F gave me a DVD player as a present. Ryan, Jen and L gave me gift cirticates for DVD's. I have to thank them big time.

Most of the people left by 11:30. At about midnight, another guy, Jas, from my softball team showed up. Bruce, Chris, Brian, Bob and Jas and I watched "This Hour has 22 Minutes" untill about 1am. Then most of the guys left. Bruce, Jas and I cleaned up, and then Bruce left. Jas and I had sex. I probably shouldn't have done it, but I was drunk, and he was working me.

Sunday, Bruce and F came over. We finished cleaning up, and I cooked them lunch. We watched the BMW films, and then they left. I went to softball practice. After practice, I had dinner at CC's and then went to the Cuff. The rest of my softball team showed up at the Cuff at about 10pm. I stayed till 11:30, and then went home. It was packed. I don't think anything is going to happen between Jas and I.

I slept in Monday morning. Played Black and white till 1pm. Went to target and bought a couple of DVD's; Contact, and The Iron Giant.. Went to another Softball practice. Bruce showed up for this one. Afterwards, Bruce, Bob, Jas and I went to Changes for a couple pitures of beer. Then, Bruce and I left for the Eleisan, had dinner and more beer there.

Bruce and I drove back to my place. He had to burn a couple of CD's on my computer. At about 11pm Brian called up, and invited him self over.

Wednesday, I talked to Harry. At lunch, at the cafeteria, I ran into his boyfriend Frank. We mumbled a few words to each other. Later on, he email me asking if I wanted to have lunch. I waited till today today, and then replied saying yes, I could have lunch, just schedule me in.

Wednesday evening, I went over to Brians for dinner.

Friday night I went out to C.C's. I was supposed to meet Bruce there, but he didn't show up. He's still to tired from his surgery.

Friday morning I had breakfast with Bruce at Van's. Afterwards we went to Home Depot-- I needed some rope for the kayak. The pain killers are affecting bruce in a sort of weird way. He's not acting stoned, but he is bullshitting much more. He is also acting more insecure. He talked to a guy about buying a BBQ. He went on about how after kayaking he might have 6 or 7 guys over at his place wanting to eat. Well, that's bull shit. He's kayaked less often than I have. He's never had more the 2 guys over to his place.

Then as we were waiting in the check-out line, he remeber that we needed a 2-inch hole saw for my drill. So, I went back and got one. When I came back so quckly, he was supprized. He asked me if I sure I knew what I was doing. He wanted me to go back, and to run it by a sales guy. I told him no. It was a $3 drill bit. I didn't need advice.

Now, the reason I bought the hole saw is that Bruce needs some holes drilled in a entertainment center of his. When I tried to give him my drill, and the hole saw, he came up with all kinds of reasons why he couldn't do it and told me that I had to come over and do it for him. That was kind of weird.

Saturday evening I went out the the Cuff, and met up with Bruce. He bought a pitcher for us, but I only had one glass from it. The Cuff was fairly crowded, I talked to a few guys, but nothing happened. I really don't enjoy talking to strangers. There are probably many nice guys out there that I'm just not going to meet, because I don't like talking to someone that I don't know.

Sunday I played softball. We lost the first game 30 to 28. We won the second game 22 to 4. These games are strange. poor defense slugfests.

Sunday evening, the softball team went to R Place. It was my birthday, so the guys bought me a lot of beer. At about 9pm we went to the 611 Supreme for dinner. We went back to R Place afterwards. I met a room mate of one the guys on my team; his name is Roger. He seams to be a nice guy. I gave him my number and we kissed a bit. He called me back Monday evening, but I was away from home.

Monday evening, I played hockey. We won 8 to 5. It was mixed. I didn't play my best. Some of the guys from the softball team showed up to cheer us on.

Tuesday morning I called Harry to say hi. Got his answering machine. If something is going to happen between Roger and I, I have to stop thinking about Harry, otherwise it will ruin things. On the other hand, I've dated many guys once, but then nothing happened. Roger could end up like that as well.

Tuesday I brought Bruce in for sinus surgery. I dropped him off at about 9am, and picked him up at 12:30. He's ok, a bit tired. He has to take lots of pain killers.

Spent wednesday night at Brian's. I know I shouldn't, but it's easier than telling him no.

Monday, back to work. Played hockey monday night. We lost 6-5. Our goalie is very weak. We need a new one badly. We can't trust her at all, if they shoot on the corners, it goes in.

Thursday, I went out for beers with the gang from work.

Friday, work had a BBQ, later on I went downtown to the RPlace, and the Eagle.

Saturday, I bought a Kayak!. Bruce and I had breakfast. ran a couple of errands, and then decided to go to Pacific water sports. When we got to PWS, we weren't too impressed. They just moved stores, and everything was disorganized. We looked around a bit, and then left. We drove down to a work wear place in Kent, and bought some jeans and shorts. On the way back, we saw this little kayak/canoe store by the road. When we drove it, it was closed, but a lady, Kim, inside saw us, and opened the place for us. It turned out that the store was the Easy Rider Kayak factory. Kim was a very good sales woman. I saw this little fiber glass kayak that I liked, and Kim told me it was $900.00 Other fiber class Kayak's I've seen, start at $2000.00, so I asked here why this was so inexpensive. She told me that I wouldn't be getting a full control rudder. That the kayak didn't have bulkheads, and that it needed $60.00 for front and rear floats. I mulled about it for a while, and then bought it. I was expecting to pay about $1000.00 for plastic, so $900 for fiber glass was great. I don't really need the bulkheads. The full rudder might be nice, but I can do without it.

Sunay, I played softball. 3 games. First game, I got softball right in my lower jaw. It was a pop up. I went to get it, but didn't call it. The other fielder ran into me, and the ball hit my jaw. My lip is fairly badly cut. It's not bleading any more, but for a few days, eating is going to be challenging. I at out the rest of the 1st and 2nd games. We won the first game, and the second game. We lost the third 19-18. It was a close game.

Monday evening I cleaned up. I also worked out. My biceps are comming along. I can now do 3 reps with two 50lbs dumb bells before I have to switch back to the 35lbs bell. It wasn't too long ago that 35lbs was taxing.

Tuesday evening we had a hockey practice. We're going to have an OK summer team. The only real problem is that we have a new woman who wants to be a goalie. Unfortunatly, she is very weak. Ryan and Jason are playing this summer. I drove Ryan to the arena and we chatted about work. He's been promoted to dev lead at his new project. I'm happy for him. I have to spend more time with Ryan. He's mostly a good constructive person.

Wednesday, Bruce wrote me, and told me that he and F. have broke up. They are fighting too much. Bruce and I are going out for beer tonight to talk about it. I hope he doesn't make a pass at me.

Much to Bruce's happyness, PS has asked that L not show up at PS anymore. L wasn't doing enough work.

I've been thinking a lot about Harry lately. I don't feel bad about him any more, but I still miss him.

Friday, Mark called. He said he's going to be out of town on Business for a couple of months. He told me he wanted to call me and keep in touch. We'll see. I think that he just doesn't want to date me.

So, I was out at the Cuff friday night, and I ran into Terry, the lawyer. Last summer I met Terry and wanted to date him, but I was seeing Harry at the time. I messed around with Terry, and told him I was single, but he found out I was dating. I apologized for being a jerk. He said he respected that.

By the time I ended things with Harry, and tracked Terry down, he was dating someone else.

While Terry and I were talking, he mentioned that he's been single for the past 3 months. I was, I don't know, regretful, when I heard that. We talked a bit more and then went our separate ways. Later on, I tracked him down, and said "Ok, I'm thick. One question, yes or no. Do I have a shot at dating you?" He paused a minute and then told me that he didn't want to date anyone right now, that he needed some time to figure
out why he fell for the last guy.

Sigh. Part of me thinks that story was a glorified "no". Part of me is now plotting to try and go out with Terry.

Saturday, Bruce, F and I went kayaking; sort of. We rented kayaking, but something happened between Bruce, F and the salesman. While I was waiting by the creek, F came up to me and told me that Bruce wasn't going anymore. Bruce had exploded, and was leaving. I went to try and talk to Bruce, but he was speeding out of the parking lot by the time I got there.

F and I kayak'd up to Marymoor, and then back. He bitched to me about Bruce. Apparently Bruce has done this several times, and he doesn't know how to handle it. Hopefully Bruce's mood will improve after he's had surgery. Bruce told me he rarely gets more than 4 or 5 hours of sleep a night because of his apnea.

Saturday night, I went out to the SeaWolf, and the Eagle. Didn't meet anyone interesting.

Sunday I played softball. We lost our first game. 7-5. It served us right. In the 'D' level, we have become the team to beat. Not that that means very much, because hey, it's D level. The first team was so intimidated by us, that they ran 2 extra practices the previous week. Too many of our players were getting unjustifiably cocky. Loosing is just the kick in the pants we need.

We won the second game 14-6

After the game, almost all the softball players went to the Cuff. I talked to a couple of guys who seemed nice, but I didn't bother exchanging numbers. I also ran into a guy who knows Harry and his new boyfriend. He really ran Harry down, called him a gold digger, and tried to prove it to me. He said he suspected Harry left me because I wasn't giving him enough money. I told him we broke up for other reasons. This guy was not a good man. Harry is not a gold digger. Now that I think about it, I've never heard this guy say anything good about anyone. I'll put him on my people to keep half an eye on.

I don't really like my softball team. Several teammates are bitchy queens. We went out for dinner Sunday evening, and they trashed everyone and anyone. They always start off with a small compliment about someone, and then they proceed to run him into the ground.

After diner, I went to Bruce's place. We watched "Further Tails of the City" It's really cheap drama. I didn't really like it. F said that most of it would be lost on me because I missed the first 12 hours. He's probably right.

Harry and I talked today. He said things were going well with his new boyfriend. He told me that I was a good man and that I'd eventually find someone. I told him he had a big heart.

Wow, reading over this, I sound like a bitch queen.

Talked to Bruce. Bruce and F faught last night. F wanted to watch Survior, but Bruce had tickets to a concert. So, Bruce went alone, later on F called Bruce to justify his actions. They faught. Bruce went out drinking, and closed down the Seawolf.

I'm kind of worried about Bruce's drinking. He drinks more than I do, and I drink a lot. He's having problems sleeping right now, he's going in for nose sugery on the 15th.

Tonight afterwork we are having a pitcher of beer, or maybe two. I'm going to try and keep it to one.

Still playing B&W. I'm on the second island.

Harry called yesterday. I got kind of nervious when I talked to him. Harry called me for a friend who wanted to know about MP3s and making CD's. He also told me that I could call him any time I want. I'm hoping that he really wanted to talk to me, and that he used this as an excuse to ring me up.

I had lunch with Mark today. He's nice guy, but a bit irratic. One minute he's all happy and tough acting, the next he's kind of depressed. He seams to have a lot of buttons. We were walking under scaffolding when he got all panicy. He told me that he knew how scaffolding was put together, and that it's always unsafe. So, he walked away from the scaffolding, and told me to do the same.

I'm not sure what I want to do with Mark. If a get to know him better, I'm going to have to get to know his kids (He has custody of them) It will be very hard to have any intimate time with him.

After lunch, we talked a while. He really wanted me to go back to Bainbridge with him. I told him no. I had to go back to work. We kissed good bye and drove away. One minute later, he called me and told me he wanted to kiss me again. He asked me to pull over so he could do so. Of course I did.

So, I'm playing Black And White very often. Sometimes I sit down for just 30 minutes, and then all of a sudden an hour has gone bye.

Bruce and I went out for beer and pool last night. Whenever we do that, we end up finishing off two pitchers. I have to slow him down. One pitcher of beer between the two of us is plenty. Especially on a work night.

Mark has called me 3 or 4 times over the past two days. We are getting together for lunch on Thursday. He asked me if I could fall for a guy with kids. I told him I'd have to get to know the guy better.