We have spent the past week in the Ottawa Valley, visiting my parents, family and friends.

The Valley has changed as lot since I was a young. Also-- I've grown up. I've gone from being a gay kid who wanted to get away, who spent years in Seattle ignoring his family as much as possible, to so someone who can appreciate the peace of the valley and is trying to build relationships with those I left behind.

The valley is less homophobic now. Also, I care less about that. I'm not mature enough to pick and choose my friends from those who accept us. I no longer worry about the harsh judgement from some of the family.

I come from a large extended family. Not counting the spouses, I have 14 uncles and aunts and well over 50 cousins. A good chunk of them are very nice people and we enjoy spending time with them-- they get along well with the husband.

My parents are getting old. Moms dementia is more pronounced every time I visit. Practically she can no longer be alone for more than a a few minutes. She easily gets lost. She can't remember what she did 10 minutes ago. Dad patiently stays with her every day. My brothers and I need to arrange some relief for him. 

Tomorrow we drive up to Toronto to visit other friends. I'm looking forward to this next leg of our trip. It will be a little more relaxed. Less obligation to see as many people as possible.

Bathwater comments…

>Wonder what it will be like when he faces his own death?

I am unsure what he will actually be like, but we have discussed this. It was similarly cavalier… if he can't wipe his ass or feed himself then he wants to blow his brains out

It was a bit of a roller coaster of a day. 

We got news that the husband's uncle passed away. He was in hospice and had been struggling for a while, so this was for the best.

Dinner was wonderful. 

C3's father isn't doing well and has been in hospice for two months. Today, C3 said his father has stopped eating.

C3 has always had a cavalier attitude about his father's decline. We discussed. He said people die. You have to get over it or it will drag you down for years. He brought up that his mother died, his stepmother died and one of his sisters died.

"I didn't know you has a second sister." 

"I don't talk about her" 

That said a lot.

Merry Christmas everyone! Happy Boxing Day & New Years.

This evening we will have our holiday dinner. It will be a small crowd-- our regular bubble. The husband has outdone himself and setup something special.

We have an excess of cookies, cakes and fudge. I've already started snacking. 

Tomorrow, we fly out to Ottawa & Toronto to visit my family. We shall see what happens with omicron. I've passed two COVID tests in the last week, so traveling is the big risk. Still, most everyone I know in Ontario is vaccinated. Most are boosted. 

Fingers crossed.

Work is quieting down for the holidays. Or rather, there are as many emergencies as ever, but there are fewer people to act on them, or to complain about the lack of action...

We had a minor COVID scare. COVID inconvenience really. On December 8th, I was in our office for a small holiday get-together. A week and a half later, December 15, I received a notification that someone at the get-together had tested positive for COVID. I felt fine. None the less we went out and got a rapid test. And yes, they came back negative.

The testing site was chaotic and slow. We will be traveling to Ontario next week to visit family, so we will need to be retested 72 hours before we depart. Will leave my self much buffer time.

Last night we had had dinner with Clem and Bates. This was the first time I've seen Bates since he retired back in June. They have been traveling *alot* Europe. Multiple Trips to Oregon. California. Mexico. Hawaii. 

Bates has gained much weight. Easily 50 lbs. I'm worried about him. 

But, he is enjoying himself.

Once a week we visit the mother-in-law. We assemble new furniture. Play games with her. Have dinner together. Just chat.

She can be very grumbly. This really bugs the husband. I can listen to her complaints and not respond. The husband needs to pushback-- to give her feedback. This frequently escalates to verbal arguments. 

I'm not going to fault the husband for this. He has probably had to push back against his mother since childhood least she steam role him. His emotions don't quit understand that she is now powerless over him, unless he gives her power.

I've started to go into work a couple times a week. I'm aiming for Wednesdays and Fridays. The introverts on my team could work from home forever. The extraverts are frustrated that no-one ever goes into the office.

So I'll straddle the line and do a little of both.

We have a nice office that could easily hold one hundred people. On any given day half a dozen will show up. They company has started bringing in lunch. There is free beer. And yet...

Last night, on my way home, I walked by a large condo. Someone high up, about the twentieth floor, was throwing stuff out the window. TVs. Speakers. Clothing. Dishes. Heavy things. They hit road and shattered. A few things hit the roofs of passing cars. I don't know what the end story was. The police were arriving as I walked away.